By Michael Casey
Stuffing Tony, what am I talking about, no not our tame
turkey whom we've decided to eat, nor anything else. Tony is in fact a soft
toy, he's my small daughter's favourite, the one she loves the most. He's a
white tiger, he was in fact he was her sister's Birthday tiger from a few years
ago, but she cried until she owned him. Tony is a very washed out bleached kind
of tiger. Tony has been through the washing machine a couple of times, he was
very very dizzy when he came out. Yesterday Tony got a brother, his brother is
a ginger tiger, now christened Ginger. Ginger makes us laugher because Ginger
is how English people call my wife if they cannot pronounce her Chinese name.
Tony is one of 40 stuffed toys the girls have, they live up
a corner behind the sofa which is just behind me. They are allowed out to form
a class when my small daughter plays teacher, afterwards they climb back into
their Iceland bags and go to sleep. There is a problem with Tony though, he's
lived in the fast lane and lost a lot of weight. So following strict
instructions, today I have done a stuffing transplant, which is like a heart
transplant but much more important and dangerous. Today without any sedative I
have made Loony Chick donate some stuffing to Tony. I took the scissors and
make an incision in Loony Chick’s
behind, I then proceeded to remove the stuffing. I had previously made an
incision in Tony’s neck at the back, it was then a process of removing from Loony Chick and
stuffing Tony.
The whole procedure lasted 20mins, Tony now looks very
plumped up and proud, as the leader of the pride should look. As for Loony
Chick, he, she or should I say it now looks as if he’d had a few dodgy kebabs,
very slim, but at least the head still looks plump. When the girls come home
from school we’ll decide what to do with Loony Chick, should we stuff him with
chopped up old clothes, or bubble wrap? Or should he face the death sentence
and be sent to a Charity shop, I know it
sounds cruel, but since he came back from Shanghai in 2009 he’d mainly been a
cushion.
These are the very serious things a modern parent has to
deal with, luckily I know how to sew, and I have a special relationship with
all the toys. Now that Tony is full and looks like a weightlifting Tiger I hope
Ginger won’t be jealous, otherwise one of them may have to end up in a zoo, or
the closest equivalent, in one of the 13 charity shops near our house.
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