https://www.amazon.com/MichaelCasey/e/B00571G0YC
MichaelCasey’sBlogs2011© some Writing Samples
by
Michael Casey
THIS IS A SAMPLE OF MY WRITING FOR MORE JUST FOLLOW THE LINK TO BUY
SOME ebooks, ebooks can be downloaded to PC as well as Kindle.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-
Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_54?qid=1373557050&sr=1-54
1. Window Shopping ©
by Michael Casey
Well the cold has got me so I’m all bunged up and
drinking gallons of hot drinks, the kettle is whistling
so wait a sec. Ah that’s better, another hot coffee, then
I’ll switch to hot blackcurrant. Why do colds come at
Xmas? They are as predictable as carol singers. I only
ever tried carol singing once as a child that’s another
memory that has rushed back to me.
Rosie told me she believed that if you looked at a toy
shop window you could see all the toys but at night when
you were not there they all came to life. She was a child
at the time, but I hope she lets that memory come to life
often. My kids still believe in Santa as do I, I go for
the fittings of his new costume at Slaters every
2
Christmas, and then Santa comes along for the final
fitting, we are about the same size you see. You could
say I am his body double, just like in the films.
But back to Slaters, now they only have a small shop
window then you take the lift upstairs and it’s a bit
like an Aladdin’s cave. But speaking of shop windows and
window shopping there are many ways to window shop. The
real world one can be tiring trudging around the shops,
especially if you have a young and fashionable wife. So I
soon realised the best way was to let her go on her own
while I had peace and quiet, then once we had kids she
took the kids and I had peace and quiet. The perfect
solution, especially as I paid the bill. Young girls
become very fashion conscience, so they were the perfect
mirror, to say mum this is good or this is bad. I’m sure
Shanghai husbands/boyfriends agree with me, perhaps there
should be a club for the Shanghai husbands/boyfriends
Me I look in 2 shop windows and know they won’t have my
size, and then I head for Slaters, sometime with the
family in toe, then its like lightning, flash bang
whallop, I’ve got all I need. That’ll do me for a year or
two.
I do like looking in watch shop windows, watches are a
3
weakness of mine, why are men’s watches so huge nowadays,
its like having an alarm clock strapped to your wrist. I
tend to go for the elegant ones, or the elegant ones in
my opinion. The ones with multi dials and buttons to
press and turn are a turnoff. Oris ones are nice, as are
Omega. Yes I do dream of having one of those when I win
the lottery or finally sell some books. My first watch
was for passing the 11plus, its all in The Watch and Me
an essay on my site www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com
Now we are in a technological world, we have windows on
the world via our tv and our computer. I was telling my
girls earlier today that we only had 2 or 3 tv channels
when I was their age, they could not believe it. So what
do we do with our tv/computer eyes ?We window shop.
Obviously I look at watches and dream of my automatic
Oris or Omega, and how nice it would be. I have had maybe
20years these past 20 years or so. I’m forever carrying
things and banging my watches. One steamed up and the
front fell off so I superglued the glass back on, only I
glued the hands together.
What else do I window shop? Well when I need a new winter
coat I look at the web sites and see what I can see in
xxl or 2xl as it’s called nowadays. Window shopping on the
4
web allows me to see what’s available, the designs and so
forth, all from the comfort of my own home, as you’ve
seen from the photos on my website. The government
encourages all this window shopping because it helps
trade and that in turn helps their tax take, which in
turn should help us. We do finally leave our homes and
visit town and buy stuff and have a beer and a meal while
we are at it.
We all look online before we book our holidays, some look
online for love, romance, sex. And then they book their
holidays. Online is our eyes, nobody will believe how old
fashioned the world used to be, my grandkids won’t
believe the Internet was invented, its as ordinary as
trees growing in a back garden, its always been there. In
the future there will be guided tours explaining about
Window Shopping, about holding hands in the rain, about
blokes gathered in the doorway talking about MU while
their wives/girlfriends try on stuff. Window Shopping is
part of world culture, it’s the 3rd oldest occupation in
the world after sex and stories comes Window Shopping.
5
2. What's on the Internet?
There was a piece in today's DT about the internet, my
post Internet Story says a lot about the subject so I've
brought it back below.
But I would first say that using the Internet allows you
to practice your skills, it allows you to be a verbal
Banksy, to share your "wisdom" with the world. It allows
you to hijack websites for your own devices, its like
shouting at a tv crew or pulling faces at the tv crew
while they interview somebody important or self
important, its like mooning while a politician drones on.
Which is more important, a politician trying to save face
or a mooner behind him?
Me I'm trying to get people to read The Butcher The Baker
and The Undertaker my comic novel. If I had a few quid
I'd publish it as an Ebook, at the moment its a free read
on my site. www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com I can
empathise with singers who used to tour all the old folk
6
clubs being allowed to do three songs in the interval.
Finally they are allowed to do a set of six poems. Mad
Dogs and Englishman was a great band from years ago, they
may be dead now, I hope not but alcohol has got a few of
their kind. Nick Fenwick was another great singer, as was
Tommy Dempsy. Back to the Internet, here everybody has
their 15mins of fame or their own virtual world in which
they are a star, its like Xfactor where you are both the
judge and jury and your own publicist. Yes I've broken
some of the "rules" on the internet but thats the joy of
it you can have your say, the printing press was a great
revolution and brought education to the masses, so now in
its way the Internet brings enlightenment to the masses.
Yes its brings lots of rubbish too, perhaps 50% rubbish
and 50% interesting stuff, but I do think I'm right in
saying it is as important as the printing press. If we
didn't have the Internet we could still be back in the
days of Monks in cells illuminating pages. Now if I could
draw my book would be more sellable, a few drawings grab
people so they turn the pages, cover art is important
too. So if Banksy reads this how about doing some
illustrations for me. As payment they'll be one blank
page in every book so you Banksy can draw to your hearts
7
content, me I'll just enjoy the royalties.
Now everybody enjoy Internet Story again. Michael in
Freezing Birmingham
Michael G Casey Email michaelgcasey@hotmail.com
Internet Story ©
By
Michael Casey
So all I had to do was send an email , and then I’d be a
writer , my book in every shop , my face smirking from
cardboard cut outs of me holding my book aloft . My book
had a great title , so it was bound to sell . A Nation Of
Shopkeepers was a great title , if only people could
remember their History , were people interested in
History , and for that matter my book . It wasn’t a
history book , would people think it WAS a history book ,
and then not buy it . It was a comedy drama , about a
street of shops , interconnecting short stories , for all
the family , but would people notice the levels , the
strands of humour , or would they say it’s a Ma & Pa book
, and miss the joke , just as one publisher called did ?
I decided to keep the title , though I had a reserve
title , The Butcher , The Baker and The Undertaker . Then
I realised the US market would rename it The Butcher ,
8
The Baker And The Funeral Arranger . You don’t think
about such things when you are writing the book , you’re
just happy , on a roll , in love with your own intellect
, or just surprised you actually DO have any intellect ,
then you discover that you are dyslexic , you really are
dyslexic , thankfully not a really bad case , just
dyslexic . As you proof read you see you have put BUT
instead PUT , LEAD instead of READ , things like this and
other strange things . Sure there are spellcheckers but
or is it put , you have to check it anyway . As you read
you are surprised at your own ability . You didn’t waste
4years in journalism school , but your writing is GOOD ,
Did I write that ? Then your chest filled with pride you
get somebody else to read it , and guess what ? They
think its crap . So now you have to decide , should I
give up or should I carry on ?
I gave up for as while , while is a unit of years in my
case , my life took another path , so the writing was
forgotten , it lay dormant for years , then like a
phoenix it arose , or more truthfully , like a tortoise
awaking from hibernation , sleep still in my eyes I
slowly poked my head out , then back in , went back to
sleep again , then finally with the pangs of hunger in my
9
stomach I just had to do something . In my case it was
eat , as in really eat , then I turned to my old Atari
and realised it was not PC compatible , so I bought a new
, or rather an old new Atari which was PC compatible .
Then I spent a day copying my files so that I could read
them on a PC . Then I wrote a few more pieces before I
realised I’d get nowhere in England . The chances of
being published were 1 in 2000 . So like a bear , I went
back in my cave and slumbered .
Meeting my wife Jing Jie was a turning point in my life ,
and not just because it was like Thunder as Jing Jie
calls it , it was a turning point because I had a
professional opinion on my writing , from a journalist at
the very top of the tree . Her uncle is an editor in
chief , so his comments were and are like gold , worth
more than my first coffee and Cadbury’s chocolate , the
pleasure rush I treat myself to every day , his comments
really were that important to me , and I really DO like
my Cadbury’s , so being better than Cadbury’s is the
highest praise I can give . So I knew the quality of my
writing , even if others said and say its crap .
Getting a modern PC and internet connection was another
turning point . Email in our house is like water and
10
eclectic in any other homes . Jing Jie can “talk” to her
mum in Shanghai every day . To friends all over the world
as well . Birmingham IS the centre of the universe .So
with hope and fear I had to transfer my files from my old
Atari to the new PC . The floppy discs were old and
battered , several were unreadable , finally my work , my
babies were safely on the new PC . Just to be on the safe
side I set up a web site , so now my work was on
somebody’s server in the US , thousands of miles away ,
safe from fire or theft . I could also put our new baby’s
photos on the web site so that my Chinese family in
Shanghai and Miami and friends all over the world could
see Annie and Jing Jie and me , they could even read my
work too .
So now all I had to do was market my work in the US ,
simple really , soon I’d be doing something useful with
my life , making people laugh . I’d be a writing whore ,
I’d get paid to make others laugh , the best job in the
world . So how would I set about it ? I got a list of
radio stations from the internet and started sending
emails galore . I’m talking in the hundreds now , to
radio stations the length and breath of the US .They
could publicise my site then eventually I’d get published
11
, or my play would get produced . It was simple wasn’t it
. So merrily I went about my business , sending emails
galore . Years before I used to send off big heavy
envelopes with my work in , with more persistence than
hope in my heart .”Thank you for your pieces of paper “was
the best put down . I once even met a writer and he
agreed to read my play Shoplife , then he wrote back
calling me a plagiarist , because it was so good . So I
used his note as toilet paper , Shoplife was so good
because I had 20years of experience given to me by my
sister , I just improved on it , but yet I was called a
Copyist , so naturally I was angry and used his note to
wipe my bum .
I wondered why my strike rate was so low with my emails
to radio stations , then somebody casually mentioned ,
“You do know they will just delete anything with an
attachment” . In these days of viruses or worms which
I’ve discovered is the new trendy word , nobody can risk
their PC , so I merrily send and they merrily delete .
I’d been wasting my time , but not my money because I’d
got a 24/7 package on my internet from AOL .However one
radio station did read Shoplife . The DJ or is it Host ,
he called it hilarious and he could not stop reading it .
12
It turned out he was an actor as well , though isn’t
everybody an actor in the US ?So I thanked him , and
quoted him in my future advertising .Humour is a funny
thing . The things that make English people laugh are not
the same as the things that make Americans’ laugh . We
are constantly told by people on tv that English TV is
the best in the world , the US material we see is the top
10% , the rest is rubbish . But I know I’d never get my
foot in the door in England so I had to persist with my
American campaign , so now I pasted in my material , no
attachments . Just get them hooked , then paste in a
sample then direct them to www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com
Then bingo part2 of my life could begin ,I’d be the man
that made America laugh , a naïve sentiment , but it was
honest .Only AOL turns things into zip files and some
people can’t unzip your files , it’s like wanting sex but
your zipper is broke and you can’t get your trousers off
. Such a strong urge , but no fulfilment .
I switched to MSMAIL and pasted in my stuff , things
started to happen , my files weren’t being deleted or too
zipped up to be read . At least I wasn’t frustrated any
more . Now I had an agent interested , and a new magazine
, even a theatre replied .All praise to Bill Gates , and
13
to a Christian called Pat Verato who pointed me in the
direction of a few good sites .However some of the sites
that I trawled through were just , so very American . Hey
, you too can be a writer , just send me 10 dollars and
I’ll send you my book “How to make 10 dollars” , and he
does . Then there’s magazines you can subscribe to , yes
you’ve guessed it , just send another 10 dollars “Writing
for Beginners” . There’s all these agents too who are so
successful , persuading tap dancing bus drivers to write
about Tap Dancing For Bus Drivers , the complete self
help book , costs 10 dollars . The agent gets 20percent ,
and the bus driver pays 5000dollars to print 500 copies ,
then he can boast he’s a writer , not just a bus driver ,
and guess what if you pay 10 dollars you can learn to tap
dance too .
As for me , what do I think of all this ? I’d say just
keep on writing , stop your selling , or attempts at
selling , just write a bit . Add to your catalogue of 3
poems and 2 short stories , then search for an agent .
Believe you’ll never be published and then you won’t be
disappointed. There is one final thing you can do though
, just tell everybody to go to my site
www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com
14
And help find a publisher for my book , and then you’ve
guessed it , just send me 10 dollars !
End
3. I know your face
I know your face ©
By Michael Casey
Somebody said he knew my face today, he was looking at a
photo of me on my site www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com But
100,000 people know my face, I worked at a 4star hotel
for a few years so that many guests must have seen me. I
have brothers and cousins, so I suppose my face could
look familiar. My hair is distinctive, it went white,
silver if you’re generous to me, it went silver 20 years
before it should have. I’m “granddad” on the school run.
In songs a face changes things, “when I saw her face” the
Monkees sang, I was small when their show was on tv.
“Take that look off your face” another song sings. For
the Chinese its about not losing face, saving face is
important. Putting a face to a name is what we say when
we meet after just phone or email contact. Faces are
important, we can see each other, we can see each other’s
reactions, the look of love or the sneer of contempt.
15
Fear written on a face, tired and worn out, sad eyes,
pained eyes all of this is on a face. But what about a
mother’s face, love is written all over it, kindness and
compassion and laughter too. My wife took my mother’s
photo to Shanghai to introduce her to my Chinese family,
my mother had died a few years previously but the photo
showed them the depths of love, the oceans of love, all
of this from the smile on her face. A face is a door to
the soul, a way to the heart, a sign showing just how
much spirit of love is inside a person. A face is a road
map for love, so always be open, a hard uncaring, a hard
look is self defeating, I’m strong, leave the face
pulling alone, leave it for heavy weight boxers. Me I
hope I have a ready smile, a warm look just as it was
given me by my parents and by my heritage. His face
reminds me of Santa, now that is a face worth keeping.
Smile Everybody.
16
4. Counting Money ©
By Michael Casey
The King was in his counting house accounting out his
money when down came a Blackbird…
We all remember this from school days, days getting
further away from us all the time.
We all know how to save the pennies, save the pennies and
the pounds will look after themselves.
Make ends meet, what does that mean, touching your toes
perhaps?
Scrimp and save, things are tight, does that mean you are
fat? Or lack of money.
We all learn about money when we are small. We remember
the sound of loose change in dad’s pocket.
We were getting a treat because Dad was getting money
out, we could hear the sound we were happy.
I’m old enough to remember real money, pounds shillings
and pence money.
It was 12 pennies to the shilling and 20 shillings to a
17
pound, and horses were sold in guinnies, if I’ve spelt it
right.
Our money confused my American cousins, but it was fun
explaining it to them. A halfpenny, a penny, a threepenny
bit, a sixpence, a shilling, a florin, a half a crown,
crowns I next saw, an orange 10 shillings note and then a
pound note, and then other notes which I never got to see
because I was too small.
Explain all that to a foreigner and they were totally
lost, going to the moon was easier to understand.
I’m old enough to remember the joy of the Apollo landing,
we were the world, everything was so exciting, Apollo and
Ali not to mention the Beatles and real money.
A penny was made of copper and so was the half penny, the
threepenny bit was six sided with a portcullis design on
it, it went green with age. The sixpence was very slim
slimmer that today’s 5 new pence. The shilling was
thicker and perhaps bigger than today’s 10pence. It was
real money and the sweets it bought were so much better
than today’s sweets, or so it seems.
We knew about money because we had lodgers and they came
to the back door to pay the rent, sometimes barely able
to stand up, smoke and beer belching over us kids. Are
18
you alright Mrs Casey? As they leant on the lintel for
support, staggering away to the pub again.
The gas and electric meters had to be emptied and the
money counted. We had a copper coloured metal jug which
had the keys for the locks on the meters inside it, when
dad had then we knew he’d be counting soon. He emptied
the money on the kitchen table and started counting,
piles of coins, shillings and florins.
Dad was like a Casino croupier counting and stacking the
coins. Then when he’d finished he’d put the coins in
little plastic bags, and after that in a small leather
black bag. This was his lunch bag for work at the
foundry, but when the gas or electric bill came it was
the bag for the money. I was charged with walking down to
the corner shop, there I’d present the money to Mr Singh
who wouldn’t even weigh it, just throw it in his safe and
peel off the money from his very large wad from his back
pocket. Smiling we’d say our goodbyes both happy with the
exchange. Who needs a bank when you have a corner shop?
There are more stories to tell, but I’ll save those for
another day.
yes its really me
MichaelCasey’sBlogs2011© some Writing Samples
by
Michael Casey
THIS IS A SAMPLE OF MY WRITING FOR MORE JUST FOLLOW THE LINK TO BUY
SOME ebooks, ebooks can be downloaded to PC as well as Kindle.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-
Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_54?qid=1373557050&sr=1-54
1. Window Shopping ©
by Michael Casey
Well the cold has got me so I’m all bunged up and
drinking gallons of hot drinks, the kettle is whistling
so wait a sec. Ah that’s better, another hot coffee, then
I’ll switch to hot blackcurrant. Why do colds come at
Xmas? They are as predictable as carol singers. I only
ever tried carol singing once as a child that’s another
memory that has rushed back to me.
Rosie told me she believed that if you looked at a toy
shop window you could see all the toys but at night when
you were not there they all came to life. She was a child
at the time, but I hope she lets that memory come to life
often. My kids still believe in Santa as do I, I go for
the fittings of his new costume at Slaters every
2
Christmas, and then Santa comes along for the final
fitting, we are about the same size you see. You could
say I am his body double, just like in the films.
But back to Slaters, now they only have a small shop
window then you take the lift upstairs and it’s a bit
like an Aladdin’s cave. But speaking of shop windows and
window shopping there are many ways to window shop. The
real world one can be tiring trudging around the shops,
especially if you have a young and fashionable wife. So I
soon realised the best way was to let her go on her own
while I had peace and quiet, then once we had kids she
took the kids and I had peace and quiet. The perfect
solution, especially as I paid the bill. Young girls
become very fashion conscience, so they were the perfect
mirror, to say mum this is good or this is bad. I’m sure
Shanghai husbands/boyfriends agree with me, perhaps there
should be a club for the Shanghai husbands/boyfriends
Me I look in 2 shop windows and know they won’t have my
size, and then I head for Slaters, sometime with the
family in toe, then its like lightning, flash bang
whallop, I’ve got all I need. That’ll do me for a year or
two.
I do like looking in watch shop windows, watches are a
3
weakness of mine, why are men’s watches so huge nowadays,
its like having an alarm clock strapped to your wrist. I
tend to go for the elegant ones, or the elegant ones in
my opinion. The ones with multi dials and buttons to
press and turn are a turnoff. Oris ones are nice, as are
Omega. Yes I do dream of having one of those when I win
the lottery or finally sell some books. My first watch
was for passing the 11plus, its all in The Watch and Me
an essay on my site www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com
Now we are in a technological world, we have windows on
the world via our tv and our computer. I was telling my
girls earlier today that we only had 2 or 3 tv channels
when I was their age, they could not believe it. So what
do we do with our tv/computer eyes ?We window shop.
Obviously I look at watches and dream of my automatic
Oris or Omega, and how nice it would be. I have had maybe
20years these past 20 years or so. I’m forever carrying
things and banging my watches. One steamed up and the
front fell off so I superglued the glass back on, only I
glued the hands together.
What else do I window shop? Well when I need a new winter
coat I look at the web sites and see what I can see in
xxl or 2xl as it’s called nowadays. Window shopping on the
4
web allows me to see what’s available, the designs and so
forth, all from the comfort of my own home, as you’ve
seen from the photos on my website. The government
encourages all this window shopping because it helps
trade and that in turn helps their tax take, which in
turn should help us. We do finally leave our homes and
visit town and buy stuff and have a beer and a meal while
we are at it.
We all look online before we book our holidays, some look
online for love, romance, sex. And then they book their
holidays. Online is our eyes, nobody will believe how old
fashioned the world used to be, my grandkids won’t
believe the Internet was invented, its as ordinary as
trees growing in a back garden, its always been there. In
the future there will be guided tours explaining about
Window Shopping, about holding hands in the rain, about
blokes gathered in the doorway talking about MU while
their wives/girlfriends try on stuff. Window Shopping is
part of world culture, it’s the 3rd oldest occupation in
the world after sex and stories comes Window Shopping.
5
2. What's on the Internet?
There was a piece in today's DT about the internet, my
post Internet Story says a lot about the subject so I've
brought it back below.
But I would first say that using the Internet allows you
to practice your skills, it allows you to be a verbal
Banksy, to share your "wisdom" with the world. It allows
you to hijack websites for your own devices, its like
shouting at a tv crew or pulling faces at the tv crew
while they interview somebody important or self
important, its like mooning while a politician drones on.
Which is more important, a politician trying to save face
or a mooner behind him?
Me I'm trying to get people to read The Butcher The Baker
and The Undertaker my comic novel. If I had a few quid
I'd publish it as an Ebook, at the moment its a free read
on my site. www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com I can
empathise with singers who used to tour all the old folk
6
clubs being allowed to do three songs in the interval.
Finally they are allowed to do a set of six poems. Mad
Dogs and Englishman was a great band from years ago, they
may be dead now, I hope not but alcohol has got a few of
their kind. Nick Fenwick was another great singer, as was
Tommy Dempsy. Back to the Internet, here everybody has
their 15mins of fame or their own virtual world in which
they are a star, its like Xfactor where you are both the
judge and jury and your own publicist. Yes I've broken
some of the "rules" on the internet but thats the joy of
it you can have your say, the printing press was a great
revolution and brought education to the masses, so now in
its way the Internet brings enlightenment to the masses.
Yes its brings lots of rubbish too, perhaps 50% rubbish
and 50% interesting stuff, but I do think I'm right in
saying it is as important as the printing press. If we
didn't have the Internet we could still be back in the
days of Monks in cells illuminating pages. Now if I could
draw my book would be more sellable, a few drawings grab
people so they turn the pages, cover art is important
too. So if Banksy reads this how about doing some
illustrations for me. As payment they'll be one blank
page in every book so you Banksy can draw to your hearts
7
content, me I'll just enjoy the royalties.
Now everybody enjoy Internet Story again. Michael in
Freezing Birmingham
Michael G Casey Email michaelgcasey@hotmail.com
Internet Story ©
By
Michael Casey
So all I had to do was send an email , and then I’d be a
writer , my book in every shop , my face smirking from
cardboard cut outs of me holding my book aloft . My book
had a great title , so it was bound to sell . A Nation Of
Shopkeepers was a great title , if only people could
remember their History , were people interested in
History , and for that matter my book . It wasn’t a
history book , would people think it WAS a history book ,
and then not buy it . It was a comedy drama , about a
street of shops , interconnecting short stories , for all
the family , but would people notice the levels , the
strands of humour , or would they say it’s a Ma & Pa book
, and miss the joke , just as one publisher called did ?
I decided to keep the title , though I had a reserve
title , The Butcher , The Baker and The Undertaker . Then
I realised the US market would rename it The Butcher ,
8
The Baker And The Funeral Arranger . You don’t think
about such things when you are writing the book , you’re
just happy , on a roll , in love with your own intellect
, or just surprised you actually DO have any intellect ,
then you discover that you are dyslexic , you really are
dyslexic , thankfully not a really bad case , just
dyslexic . As you proof read you see you have put BUT
instead PUT , LEAD instead of READ , things like this and
other strange things . Sure there are spellcheckers but
or is it put , you have to check it anyway . As you read
you are surprised at your own ability . You didn’t waste
4years in journalism school , but your writing is GOOD ,
Did I write that ? Then your chest filled with pride you
get somebody else to read it , and guess what ? They
think its crap . So now you have to decide , should I
give up or should I carry on ?
I gave up for as while , while is a unit of years in my
case , my life took another path , so the writing was
forgotten , it lay dormant for years , then like a
phoenix it arose , or more truthfully , like a tortoise
awaking from hibernation , sleep still in my eyes I
slowly poked my head out , then back in , went back to
sleep again , then finally with the pangs of hunger in my
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stomach I just had to do something . In my case it was
eat , as in really eat , then I turned to my old Atari
and realised it was not PC compatible , so I bought a new
, or rather an old new Atari which was PC compatible .
Then I spent a day copying my files so that I could read
them on a PC . Then I wrote a few more pieces before I
realised I’d get nowhere in England . The chances of
being published were 1 in 2000 . So like a bear , I went
back in my cave and slumbered .
Meeting my wife Jing Jie was a turning point in my life ,
and not just because it was like Thunder as Jing Jie
calls it , it was a turning point because I had a
professional opinion on my writing , from a journalist at
the very top of the tree . Her uncle is an editor in
chief , so his comments were and are like gold , worth
more than my first coffee and Cadbury’s chocolate , the
pleasure rush I treat myself to every day , his comments
really were that important to me , and I really DO like
my Cadbury’s , so being better than Cadbury’s is the
highest praise I can give . So I knew the quality of my
writing , even if others said and say its crap .
Getting a modern PC and internet connection was another
turning point . Email in our house is like water and
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eclectic in any other homes . Jing Jie can “talk” to her
mum in Shanghai every day . To friends all over the world
as well . Birmingham IS the centre of the universe .So
with hope and fear I had to transfer my files from my old
Atari to the new PC . The floppy discs were old and
battered , several were unreadable , finally my work , my
babies were safely on the new PC . Just to be on the safe
side I set up a web site , so now my work was on
somebody’s server in the US , thousands of miles away ,
safe from fire or theft . I could also put our new baby’s
photos on the web site so that my Chinese family in
Shanghai and Miami and friends all over the world could
see Annie and Jing Jie and me , they could even read my
work too .
So now all I had to do was market my work in the US ,
simple really , soon I’d be doing something useful with
my life , making people laugh . I’d be a writing whore ,
I’d get paid to make others laugh , the best job in the
world . So how would I set about it ? I got a list of
radio stations from the internet and started sending
emails galore . I’m talking in the hundreds now , to
radio stations the length and breath of the US .They
could publicise my site then eventually I’d get published
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, or my play would get produced . It was simple wasn’t it
. So merrily I went about my business , sending emails
galore . Years before I used to send off big heavy
envelopes with my work in , with more persistence than
hope in my heart .”Thank you for your pieces of paper “was
the best put down . I once even met a writer and he
agreed to read my play Shoplife , then he wrote back
calling me a plagiarist , because it was so good . So I
used his note as toilet paper , Shoplife was so good
because I had 20years of experience given to me by my
sister , I just improved on it , but yet I was called a
Copyist , so naturally I was angry and used his note to
wipe my bum .
I wondered why my strike rate was so low with my emails
to radio stations , then somebody casually mentioned ,
“You do know they will just delete anything with an
attachment” . In these days of viruses or worms which
I’ve discovered is the new trendy word , nobody can risk
their PC , so I merrily send and they merrily delete .
I’d been wasting my time , but not my money because I’d
got a 24/7 package on my internet from AOL .However one
radio station did read Shoplife . The DJ or is it Host ,
he called it hilarious and he could not stop reading it .
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It turned out he was an actor as well , though isn’t
everybody an actor in the US ?So I thanked him , and
quoted him in my future advertising .Humour is a funny
thing . The things that make English people laugh are not
the same as the things that make Americans’ laugh . We
are constantly told by people on tv that English TV is
the best in the world , the US material we see is the top
10% , the rest is rubbish . But I know I’d never get my
foot in the door in England so I had to persist with my
American campaign , so now I pasted in my material , no
attachments . Just get them hooked , then paste in a
sample then direct them to www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com
Then bingo part2 of my life could begin ,I’d be the man
that made America laugh , a naïve sentiment , but it was
honest .Only AOL turns things into zip files and some
people can’t unzip your files , it’s like wanting sex but
your zipper is broke and you can’t get your trousers off
. Such a strong urge , but no fulfilment .
I switched to MSMAIL and pasted in my stuff , things
started to happen , my files weren’t being deleted or too
zipped up to be read . At least I wasn’t frustrated any
more . Now I had an agent interested , and a new magazine
, even a theatre replied .All praise to Bill Gates , and
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to a Christian called Pat Verato who pointed me in the
direction of a few good sites .However some of the sites
that I trawled through were just , so very American . Hey
, you too can be a writer , just send me 10 dollars and
I’ll send you my book “How to make 10 dollars” , and he
does . Then there’s magazines you can subscribe to , yes
you’ve guessed it , just send another 10 dollars “Writing
for Beginners” . There’s all these agents too who are so
successful , persuading tap dancing bus drivers to write
about Tap Dancing For Bus Drivers , the complete self
help book , costs 10 dollars . The agent gets 20percent ,
and the bus driver pays 5000dollars to print 500 copies ,
then he can boast he’s a writer , not just a bus driver ,
and guess what if you pay 10 dollars you can learn to tap
dance too .
As for me , what do I think of all this ? I’d say just
keep on writing , stop your selling , or attempts at
selling , just write a bit . Add to your catalogue of 3
poems and 2 short stories , then search for an agent .
Believe you’ll never be published and then you won’t be
disappointed. There is one final thing you can do though
, just tell everybody to go to my site
www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com
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And help find a publisher for my book , and then you’ve
guessed it , just send me 10 dollars !
End
3. I know your face
I know your face ©
By Michael Casey
Somebody said he knew my face today, he was looking at a
photo of me on my site www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com But
100,000 people know my face, I worked at a 4star hotel
for a few years so that many guests must have seen me. I
have brothers and cousins, so I suppose my face could
look familiar. My hair is distinctive, it went white,
silver if you’re generous to me, it went silver 20 years
before it should have. I’m “granddad” on the school run.
In songs a face changes things, “when I saw her face” the
Monkees sang, I was small when their show was on tv.
“Take that look off your face” another song sings. For
the Chinese its about not losing face, saving face is
important. Putting a face to a name is what we say when
we meet after just phone or email contact. Faces are
important, we can see each other, we can see each other’s
reactions, the look of love or the sneer of contempt.
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Fear written on a face, tired and worn out, sad eyes,
pained eyes all of this is on a face. But what about a
mother’s face, love is written all over it, kindness and
compassion and laughter too. My wife took my mother’s
photo to Shanghai to introduce her to my Chinese family,
my mother had died a few years previously but the photo
showed them the depths of love, the oceans of love, all
of this from the smile on her face. A face is a door to
the soul, a way to the heart, a sign showing just how
much spirit of love is inside a person. A face is a road
map for love, so always be open, a hard uncaring, a hard
look is self defeating, I’m strong, leave the face
pulling alone, leave it for heavy weight boxers. Me I
hope I have a ready smile, a warm look just as it was
given me by my parents and by my heritage. His face
reminds me of Santa, now that is a face worth keeping.
Smile Everybody.
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4. Counting Money ©
By Michael Casey
The King was in his counting house accounting out his
money when down came a Blackbird…
We all remember this from school days, days getting
further away from us all the time.
We all know how to save the pennies, save the pennies and
the pounds will look after themselves.
Make ends meet, what does that mean, touching your toes
perhaps?
Scrimp and save, things are tight, does that mean you are
fat? Or lack of money.
We all learn about money when we are small. We remember
the sound of loose change in dad’s pocket.
We were getting a treat because Dad was getting money
out, we could hear the sound we were happy.
I’m old enough to remember real money, pounds shillings
and pence money.
It was 12 pennies to the shilling and 20 shillings to a
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pound, and horses were sold in guinnies, if I’ve spelt it
right.
Our money confused my American cousins, but it was fun
explaining it to them. A halfpenny, a penny, a threepenny
bit, a sixpence, a shilling, a florin, a half a crown,
crowns I next saw, an orange 10 shillings note and then a
pound note, and then other notes which I never got to see
because I was too small.
Explain all that to a foreigner and they were totally
lost, going to the moon was easier to understand.
I’m old enough to remember the joy of the Apollo landing,
we were the world, everything was so exciting, Apollo and
Ali not to mention the Beatles and real money.
A penny was made of copper and so was the half penny, the
threepenny bit was six sided with a portcullis design on
it, it went green with age. The sixpence was very slim
slimmer that today’s 5 new pence. The shilling was
thicker and perhaps bigger than today’s 10pence. It was
real money and the sweets it bought were so much better
than today’s sweets, or so it seems.
We knew about money because we had lodgers and they came
to the back door to pay the rent, sometimes barely able
to stand up, smoke and beer belching over us kids. Are
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you alright Mrs Casey? As they leant on the lintel for
support, staggering away to the pub again.
The gas and electric meters had to be emptied and the
money counted. We had a copper coloured metal jug which
had the keys for the locks on the meters inside it, when
dad had then we knew he’d be counting soon. He emptied
the money on the kitchen table and started counting,
piles of coins, shillings and florins.
Dad was like a Casino croupier counting and stacking the
coins. Then when he’d finished he’d put the coins in
little plastic bags, and after that in a small leather
black bag. This was his lunch bag for work at the
foundry, but when the gas or electric bill came it was
the bag for the money. I was charged with walking down to
the corner shop, there I’d present the money to Mr Singh
who wouldn’t even weigh it, just throw it in his safe and
peel off the money from his very large wad from his back
pocket. Smiling we’d say our goodbyes both happy with the
exchange. Who needs a bank when you have a corner shop?
There are more stories to tell, but I’ll save those for
another day.
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