The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker: August 2023

Wednesday 30 August 2023

Only the Russians know what they want

Только русские знают, чего хотят

И так много людей убежали за границу

Это НЕ борьба

Потому что там очень много КОРРУПЦИИ.

только коррупционеры заинтересованы в продолжении

Поскольку СМИ контролируются, ЛОЖЬ продолжается.

Итак, когда же, о, когда же РЕАЛЬНОСТЬ погрузится в себя?

Должны ли Anonymous захватить контроль над всеми СМИ?

и покажем 500 000 русских мальчиков МЕРТВЫМИ и пропавшими без вести.

Кремирован на поле боя или ранен и отправлен обратно.

И куда делись все деньги Газпрома

Во дворцы миллиардеров

Пока обычные Ольга и Иван дрожат в своих домах

Пока часы повернуты на 50 лет назад

Это НЕ установлено в STONE.

Россияне могут изменить всё

Просто смените клоуна наверху, Путина — царя XXI века

ИЛИ все россияне трусы, предпочитающие НИЧЕГО не делать

Я знаю, что Россия заслуживает лучшего, чем ПУТИН.

Но только если вы не решите отобрать Москву у Страха.

Тогда триллионы долларов будут потрачены на то, на что

ПУТИН рисует карандашом на карте

НО ЭЙ, А ЧТО НАСЧЕТ КЛИМАТА?


Поскольку радиационные облака распространяются и уничтожают весь ХЛЕБ

вся Россия и весь мир были бы МЕРТВЫ

И простой ответ: УДАЛИТЬ ПУТИНА.

и получите шанс на лучший мир

Или русские предпочитают быть ТУПЫМИ?

НЕТ гордости в том, что ты мертв

За безумие Путина

Есть ВЫБОР

Выбрал жизнь без ПУТИНА

он не может посадить 144 000 000 в ТЮРЬМУ

так что шансы 1 против 144 000 000

ВЫИГРАЙТЕ В ЛОТЕРЕЮ ЖИЗНИ без ПУТИНА

Tol'ko russkiye znayut, chego khotyat

I tak mnogo lyudey ubezhali za granitsu

Eto NE bor'ba

Potomu chto tam ochen' mnogo KORRUPTSII.

tol'ko korruptsionery zainteresovany v prodolzhenii

Poskol'ku SMI kontroliruyutsya, LOZH' prodolzhayetsya.

Itak, kogda zhe, o, kogda zhe REAL'NOST' pogruzitsya v sebya?

Dolzhny li Anonymous zakhvatit' kontrol' nad vsemi SMI?

i pokazhem 500 000 russkikh mal'chikov MERTVYMI i propavshimi bez vesti.

Kremirovan na pole boya ili ranen i otpravlen obratno.

I kuda delis' vse den'gi Gazproma

Vo dvortsy milliarderov

Poka obychnyye Ol'ga i Ivan drozhat v svoikh domakh

Poka chasy povernuty na 50 let nazad

Eto NE ustanovleno v STONE.

Rossiyane mogut izmenit' vso

Prosto smenite klouna naverkhu, Putina — tsarya XXI veka

ILI vse rossiyane trusy, predpochitayushchiye NICHEGO ne delat'

YA znayu, chto Rossiya zasluzhivayet luchshego, chem PUTIN.

No tol'ko yesli vy ne reshite otobrat' Moskvu u Strakha.

Togda trilliony dollarov budut potracheny na to, na chto

PUTIN risuyet karandashom na karte

NO EY, A CHTO NASCHET KLIMATA?


Poskol'ku radiatsionnyye oblaka rasprostranyayutsya i unichtozhayut ves' KHLEB

vsya Rossiya i ves' mir byli by MERTVY

I prostoy otvet: UDALIT' PUTINA.

i poluchite shans na luchshiy mir

Ili russkiye predpochitayut byt' TUPYMI?

NET gordosti v tom, chto ty mertv

Za bezumiye Putina

Yest' VYBOR

Vybral zhizn' bez PUTINA

on ne mozhet posadit' 144 000 000 v TYUR'MU

tak chto shansy 1 protiv 144 000 000

VYIGRAYTE V LOTEREYU ZHIZNI bez PUTINA

Only the Russians know what they want

And so many have ran away over the borders

It is NOT to fight

As there is so much CORRUPTION

only the corrupt have a vested interest in carrying on

As the MEDIA is controlled the LIES continue

So when oh when will REALITY sink in

Does Anonymous have to seize control of all the Media

and show the 500,000 Russian boys DEAD and Missing

Cremated on the Battle Field or Injured and moved back

And where has all the Gazprom money gone

To Billionaire's Palaces

While ordinary Olga and Ivan shiver in their homes

While the clock is turned back 50 years

This is NOT set in STONE

Russians can change everything

Just Change the Clown at the Top, Putin the Czar of 21st Century

OR are all Russians Cowards, who prefer to do NOTHING

I know Russian deserves Better than PUTIN

But not unless you decide to take Moscow back from Fear

Then Trillions of Dollars will be wasted on what

PUTIN drawing in Crayon on a Map

BUT HEY WHAT ABOUT THE CLIMATE

As the Radiation Clouds spread and destroy all the BREAD

all of Russia and the whole wide world would be DEAD

And the simple answer is REMOVE PUTIN

and have a Chance of a Better World

Or do Russians Prefer being STUPID instead

There is NO Pride in Being Dead

For Putin's Insanity

There is a CHOICE

Chose Life without PUTIN

he cannot put 144,000,000 in JAIL

so the odds are 1 v 144,000,000

WIN LIFE's LOTTERY without PUTIN

How to Keep the Kids Occupied (c) By Michael Casey

How to Keep the Kids Occupied (c)

By Michael Casey

How to Keep the Kids Occupied without getting the Police involved

Well you could handcuff them to the dustbins or a filing cabinet

A friend of my brother was actually handcuffed to a filing cabinet

It was in France, and he was drunk maybe

In Korea they give you a blanket and send you home

Koreans drink 4 times more than Americans

I read it somewhere

They drink more than Czechs if that is possible

Now as I've subdued you, or is it the booze

How do you keep the kids occupied

without invading their bedroom

and you can take the door off the hinges to avoid

SLAMMED DOORS

no door no slamming

I just remembered my Trainer in 1998 did that

I seem to remember now her mentioning that en passant

The Trainer was not a Lion Tamer, or Elephant Tamer/Trainer

No I was on a Presenting Course

Caroline Whitehouse from StatsMR it was you

so big Thank YOU

are you screaming now

Yes you and the Sisterhood allowed me on a Presenting Course

this was followed by my trip to Pilsner in Czech

and my Famous Czech Story

Ewina gave a 10 for it, then took a mark away

cos nobody is Perfect

But back to the Plot, though it may have been a ploy

to get me out of Birmingham and into Oxford ACNiesen office

which looked like a 6th form college, with a field behind

but I digress

This is how you teach Presening

You gather around a Table

The Trainer pulls various object out of a bag like a Magician

Or the Trainees pull objects out of the sack

Then they are placed on the table

the 5 trainees pick one each

They are allowed 5 mins to look at their object

and No a bottle of beer is NOT one

Thought StatsMR was legendary for drinking

It was a Market Research company into alcohol sales company

Otherwise, not one drop passed their lips, hic

So once you have your object you take turns to talk

for just a minute about your object

afterwards you get friendly feedback

then the 2nd person speaks for 1 minute about their object

afterwards friendly feedback

and on it goes

Then a new selection of objects is chosen

But

This time 2 mins explanation

Repeat

So you build your speaking time and get feedback

THE NEXT day

You have to speak for 15 mins

Which is Speech Time, as Kennedy said 15 mins is enough

The next day at Headington Oxford

I was due to speak for 15 mins

I told them about my Paris misadventures a few months earlier

The main event was food poisoning and me going to to a Pharmacy

and asking Avez Vous de L' asparin de bas prix

I got a box with a tube inside, bigger that extra strong mints

Asparin Tamponne was on the box, it was green

No string

It was a new word for me in French

Tamponne means in a tube

Obviously I thought it was something only girls know about

as I opened the box

outside on the wall was a machine, not chewing gum

But a Preservative vending machine

Preservative is a French word go Google

and google is shy, Preservative is connected to

saving you from disease

Go ask the Frenchman in your class

Anyway, as I told this story

Carole Wilkes, I seem to remember she was there

If not, forgive me Carole with an E was it

or Hello Gill with G

So they laughed till they cried

The trainer asked how long did I think I had spoken for

I said 15 mins

She said it was 30 mins

The next day I flew to Pilsner in Czech

and I ended up in an English language Classroom

Where off the cuff I spoke for 90 mins

I could say much much more

But I've taught you how to Present now

500 each maybe for a 2 day course

I don't know for sure

Then I went to work in a hotel a few years later

Speaking to 100,000 people maybe in 3 years

Mini conversations

Years later a Teacher in an Islamic school

ESOL English

so the presenting course helped

Caroline Whitehouse thanks again

I did get Excellent Excellent Exemplary

from my Outside assessor for my Esol Teaching

Now years later I've written 20 books

80,000+ words written so far of book 21

2,000,000 words in books maybe

but if you count everything 3,000,000 words

or 8 to 10,000 pages

Like all the pages of a Printout from StatsMR

into Alcohol sales

So this is how I keep myself occupied

despite

the quadruple heart bypass, arthritis, hernia in centre of my chest

the headaches, the Tinnitus that is like a Barometre inside me

and Ckd with GFR of 25 as I try to avoid Dialysis

So if I can Carry On so can you

and maybe a miracle happens

I did get one in 1996 when my dad survived his heart attack

8 weeks after my mum had died in the marriage bed

and then after visiting my dad every single day for 3 years

I finally met a Shanghai girl

and the rest is History

But a typist and 4 more sons maybe

Could be my next chapter, or story for you

Will a Singaporean come and get me

or will the Undertaker get me first

Though it could just be a Fishing Fleet

in Singapore who reads me overnight

They haven't told me, so maybe I'll never know

Though I could do Stand Up all about it

at the Masala night club in Singapore

Enough, I have to go for bread

Enough said

Tuesday 29 August 2023

don't snap at me, my many faces, not faeces

Johnny No Friends ©

By Michael Casey

Peter had no friends, in fact he now was a stay at home person. Though everybody used to call him John or Johnny, because he was always in the toilet, rushing to it in fact. They even moved his desk to the corridor outside the toilet as a prank, so he thanked them and stayed there for 3 years. He did have relationships, but only with delivery drivers who dumped stuff by his desk. So he was a Concierge without actually being a concierge. But he was happy enough because he was near the toilet, he could dump like an Elephant, and smell just as bad. Bad diet and a touch of CKD does that to you.

As the years rolled by he knew more and more about the delivery drivers, as he had a giant thermos on his desk ready to dispense a warming drink. So by the end of the 3rd year he had more Christmas cards than the entire offer, but luckily he was a dab hand with a Prit stick so he dabbed them and stuck them to the walls. It looked better than Santa’s Grotto or any church. Everybody took photos and a photographic magazine even awarded a prize. Johnny and his Cards the caption read in the magazine, with Johnny’s email below. Though nobody knew his name was Peter in reality.

Then Johhny’s bladder got so bad, he’d have to wear nappies or have a funnel and a tube from his desk to the toilet. So, Johnny spent his last penny and had to leave. The company were generous, he could have sued the arse off them for the 3 years in the corridor, the company secretary said, who was a bit leaky himself, so obviously he was on Peter’s side. So Johhny got a nice pension, and a framed digital photo of the Christmas Santa’s Grotto, and a very nice tablet which was waterproof so he could use it in the toilet, just as Trump does.

So now Johnny had no friends, but he still had his tablet, well several, as the doctors kept on trying this and that in an attempt to fix him, so he had bottles of tablets, as well as the digital tablet. Johnny got used to his new life, and he had friends on the Internet too, while he continued dashing to the loo. One day out of the blue he had an email from LindyLoo555@gmailpooh.com

He was going to delete it in anger, but decided to answer. Lindy Loo was her real name, she was American in Kansas were the mail servers were, and she did have two red shoes which she clicked and she did like ballet too. Out spilled everything, she’d seen the Santa photo in a photographic magazine while she was at the dentists having her teeth fixed.

So Johhny No Friends had found one true friend, which is all you need, and yes she loved the Beatles too, she played them constantly on her Amazon Prime subscription. Now email is a lovely thing, it is a letter that can be read over and over again, you can print them off too and put them in a scrap book too. After a few months, Peter and she called him Peter too, it was so much better than being called Johnny, because he used always to be in the John, so Peter asked for a photo. So LindyLoo555@gmailpooh.com sent him a photo, she was tall and big, with horrid teeth and the stereo typical black glasses that Koreans, or American born Koreans wear. But she did have hair to kill for. So obviously Peter fell in love with her instantaneously. Because he knew the real her, and she knew the knew him, so the feeling was mutual.

Though LindyLoo555@gmailpooh.com had lied, because she’d been hurt before, so sent a picture of her best friend from next door. So the friendship continued, and LindyLoo555@gmailpooh.com decided she wanted to come and visit Peter in Old Forge and Singing Anvil, so a quaintly named place after all. So Peter said he knew somebody he ran an AirB&B so he could get her discount, it was the bloke next door. Peter had wondered why he was always carrying large supplies of toilet paper, and did he have some disorder? But his neighbour laughed and said it was for his apartments. So Peter helped let in all the supplies when delivery drivers came, so he was offered discount if ever, if ever he needed an apartment. So that was that, and this was now.

LindyLoo555@gmailpooh.com said that was great, as she licked her dinner plate, that was her one bad habit, licking her plate like Oliver Twist, as she read his email on her iPhone12. They’d know each other for 18 months now all told, and so they weren’t being bold. She’d fly in from Kansas and land at Birmingham BHX, and Peter would be there to greet her, old Michael the taxi driver would be ready and he’d drive steady. Now when LindyLoo555@gmailpooh.com arrived Michael was in for a surprize, for the girl that landed was not like the photo, in fact how could she be. It was her best friend from next door, the Kansas girl was no witch, though she did wear red shoes. Michael drove her to the apartment where Peter was waiting, he told Michael he must have picked up the wrong girl, but it was the right girl, the perfectly right girl. You see Lindy Loo looked like a Kpop star, but prettier if that is even possible. Peter was shocked but she knew everything about him, and asked was he disappointed, and she’d leave immediately if he felt she’s abused his friendship. You see she felt it best to see if he wanted her for who she really was, and in emails he saw her as she really was. Apart from the photo deception, you see a girl has to know that she’s wanted for herself, not just her looks.

Peter replied, it’s an ill wind that blows no good, and farted before dashing to the toilet. You see Lindy Loo’s dad was a Proctologist, so why should nature get in the way of friendship. She enjoyed a month visiting Old Forge and Singing Anvil, she also revealed she was actually a dentist. Peter felt ten feet tall, and Lindy Loo just knew, she’d break her broom, she’s never go back to Kansas. Besides her dad had worked out how to fix Peter, as he knew he’d be joining the Korean American family. A Break Wind family, was born, Lindy Loo always loved England, and now part of it in the shape of Peter would be all her very own. And yes they had four daughters and formed a Kpop band, you see Love is like the wind it knows no boundaries, and the Kpop band was called The Saint Patricks because that was the day they finally met.