250,000 clicks in ONE month , last month over my 3 bloggers ,
NEED I SAY MORE ABOUT MY IP
this is TOTALLY ORGANIC
Jeff Dean and Bezos are you all wearing Zuckerberg SHADES
and the houses I would like as Part of my Fee
have this BAR nearby this sign
Building the Crew (c) by Michael Casey
Building the crew, so WHEN my Esol English school for CHOBOL Japanese starts
I need a crew, I have spotted a Turkish lady who has Duty manager experience
Another great lady said she wanted to enjoy her retirement
So i was talking to another lady, who has done a bit of contract praying for me
i’ll explain it lady
Now I ran it past her today
She would be a Mrs Mop or Mrs Slowcome , we will think up and outrageous name later
She can be called whatever she likes
SO while the Guests who may arrive in Private Jets
are having their 2 sets of lessons
10 to 12. TWO HOURS LUNCH 2 to 4pm other lessons
Mrs DoDar or whatever she decides will hover and read the newspaper
anything she likes, kind of, but its a TRAP
so when the Japanese goes for a wander or a breath of fresh air
Mrs Thingy will proffer a cuppa
and he’l not understand fully cos he’s only just started the 2 week course
Mrs Potty will say, yes English can be a bit of a bitch
so as Japanese Chobol looks up, she whips out her tablet
she has all the LESSONS, my words, my VOICE on a tablet and JAPANESE Translations
With of course a English to Japenese voice translation
YES
Mrs Bucket has it ALL
I told you cleaners know EVERYTHING
through she is REALLY a secret teacher, under the cover of whatever she decides to wear
WE will of course have a nice badge probably of ME and HER together
TO prove she is one of the crew
other crew have me and them on a badge.
If the face does not fit
A 6th Dan Black belt will change your life, not in a positive way
or at least double black belt, we do have standards
for it it O O. I’m so. so , so so is not good enough
Just make sure to ask, can the stranger can swim
as he is far flung, into the water
He’s fallen in the WATER, as any Goon might. say
but my security crew are far from Goons
If you take the Spike Milligan with them
you will be in the Q or a lineup at a police station
PDQ
so that’s an overview
and of course in the pub for 2 hours dinner
Honours STATS MR
from my old computer room days
but if the guests want to wander then that’s OK
Mrs DoDAR may say come with me to the shops to practice
She has her tablets,2 in fact, she always has a spare
Like her husband from Special Services or Navy Seals
always have a spare
but he doesn’t talk about it and even the Judo crew
have decided to mind their own business
Now my next door neighbour plays golf
So at weekends MR PINK
will dress in Total Pink
shoes, socks, trousers, shirt, hat ,tie and underpants and jumper if its cold
MR PINK, to make the girls stink
he will be our Golf Pro, who has agreed to 1000 a day for his trouble
If they want to tip him his golf bag will accept rolled up bundles of 20 pound notes
so everything is catered for
MR PINK will become a LEGEND
he of course will have a Tablet with all the lessons on
My audio, my words, Japanese translation, and AUTOmatic translator
so he can talk dimpled balls to his hearts content and they will LOVE HIM
MR PINK , so they can spot him from 200 yards
NEON probably, he will of course get the most expensive shades on the planet
you remember when Tom Cruise was in Birmingham and had his luggage stolen
well I kind of acquired the shades then
BUT that will never happen at our Guest houses, because we will never tell you
where they are, and would anybody in their right mind break in where
multiple black belts in Armani are just being cool
if Armani is too tight for Judo throws the Sensai will instruct me
and obviously with total respect and a bow I’ll but an order in
we are a Professional Esol English school for Japanese
So you get the picture
We issue a friendship tag to each guest, so we can Protect and Serve
and if they go walkabout
The Birmingham Brotherhood of Security and their equally secure little blonde sisters
will have a 1000 bounty paid in cash to find and protect any of our lost sheep
400 pairs of eyes on the streets at least
This is Birmingham we love our guests
NOW if for any reason on of our guests is naughty we will bounce his backside out
so if he upsets mrs gobby tea, his feet wont touch
and no refunds
I SHOULD COCOA
he will be hurled on a flight to Paris, even if his private jet is still in Birmingham
But we are kind even if he has crossed the line
The cover story we will flash to his company which owns
a Trillion dollar company
we will say the OLD GOAT was chasing Monique who he met in a bar Edgbaston
SO we have kicked him out, but he has NOT LOST FACE
The next week he sends a grovelling apology apology letter
and a gift for Mrs teapot
A Kimono , not a Zara 20 quid one
but a 2000 pound limited edition thing his wife made him buy
So alls well that ends well
and he wrote a glowing 10 star review
This is the standard WE will set
yes it’s my words , my audio, my idea the whole concept
but PEOPLE COUNT
and we don’t have any bad COUNT on our crew
we look after our guests who become friends
So much so it became a tradition lost in Translation
for every guest to give her one, by which I mean a Kimino
because we decided it would make the kitchen more homely
for her wearing the Kimono with a thank you for the Experience
note from the owner of a trillion dollar company
and Nobody wants to lose face, so to keep up with the Joneses
ALL the CHOBOL are duty and honor bound to give her one
Mrs Slowcome has so many Kimono now
Her wardrobe is worth 3 times more than her house
So Guests, honoured Japanese guests please come
and I will personally introduce you to EVA
her real name, her middle name
her real name is top secret and only by giving her
the ultimate honour of the best Kimono she
might be persuaded to let you have tea and crumpet with her
