Funny Who you meet in the street

Funny Who You Meet in the Street ©

By

Michael Casey

Well morning broke with a screech, the wife had found my glasses under the fruit bowl, where I keep my bananas. She found them not me. I had looked behind the microwave and did not see them. Next to the microwave is our fruit bowl, but as it was full my shades were hidden in plain sight. So if you have looked at the previous post of me looking almost slim, for a 245pounds man that is, this is the correction. But the bit about bananas is still funny as far as I am concerned.

After I’d done my chores I was going to take a peek at a house, but on the way there I stumbled over an old neighbour, he was bending down planting flowers outside a church. A dead relative of his used  to attend that church, so not that her house had been sold he was transplanting her potted garden to the church she used to attend.

This is a very nice thing to do, and reminded me of my own mother, this week marks the 21^st anniversary of her death which let to me ultimately finding a wife in my 40s, its all in Padre Pio on Me on the Internet. The thing about my mother was that after her funeral my sister was going into her own house a few weeks later and was struck by the sight and smell of daisies. Our mum had sneaked up and planted them in my sister’s front garden, so if you like it was a final kiss goodnight to my sister.  

Back to the phantom gardener in the street he is in fact a carpenter and odd job man. He tarted up my bathroom ready for my Shanghai wife ready to return to me and he installed a one metre square mirror on the bedroom wall, actually 1.5 metres square. I didn’t have many mirrors, but wives need mirrors.

I was talking to the odd job man and it turns out his daughter is a doctor in Sheffield, I suppose she could become a surgeon, as that’s where all the knives used to be made. She is 20 years older that my own daughter, who wants to follow the same path to be a doctor. He mentioned the Sheffield pathway which isn’t a nice scenic walk but a thing doctors do in Sheffield. I mentioned it to my daughter and to her Indian friend who wants to be a doctor too, so I could end up visiting there if I live that long. The irony being my own dad was a blacksmith and steelworker.

I mentioned I did a bit of writing, he half assumed I wrote poems and songs, I told him I wrote all kinds of everything without Dana though. 13 books or 1,000,000 plus words which is over 3000 pages. I said I wrote mainly short stories, such as meeting a carpenter in the street planting flowers, and the I’d go home and write about it. So here he is planted in a story, as I water it with words.

He has moved over 5 times he tells me, his advice is move to an empty place and don’t stay in a chain as it will drive you mad. A friend of his was in a chain waiting to move on for 11 months. Personally I’d put a sunset clause into any house purchase agreement. I was talking to our girls and if one of the houses we recently seen doesn’t sell perhaps if they come back to us then our quest would finally be over.With the help of God and Two Policemen as my mother used to say, or perhaps my mother will use her influence in Heaven soon, I’ll let you all know.

I carried on up the road after I’d bored him enough, and went looking for the house which I was going to scout out today. Scout out is now a Police phrase, where the Police scream, come on out all you scouts and no tying knots or playing with your toggles. No, its where you physically walk the area where you want to buy a house. Just driving there and not walking the area is bad practice, you will be living there so always walk an area before you put an offer in. You could end up living next door to a fat man in shades with silver hair who writes stories, whoever that might be.

So I looked at today’s house and I did not like the outside, the roof needed attention, even though internally it had all been done up. One outside wall looked perished, the gutter was half falling off, and the door handle was all scratched, and this was supposed to be a new front door. The front room looked smaller that our own front room.

The price differential between a non-done up house and a done up house is 33% on top. So is a house worth 33% on top for a bit of paint and a new bathroom and kitchen. You have to see the specification and work out what could you get from your Polish builder if you bought a cheaper house and had him do it for you.

I’ll tell you, the Polish guy and his mates would do it for 15 to 20% on top, so you save 10 to 15%. Or in money terms you could then buy a new car instead of paying for the ready to move in at inflated price house.

I’ve been looking at the housing market seriously for a year now, and as a hobby for several years, so I’ve learnt a few things, yes not enough you always learn more. While I was looking at today’s house I spoke to a lady with long grey hair who was walking two dangerous dogs. For her they were her little puppies, but I stayed on the other side of the street just to be on the safe side. If you talk to the neighbours and people using the street then you can get a flavour of a place. The lady said I should stop by for coffee if I decided to move into the area, number Z was her house number, I won’t reveal it, but the two dogs barking might.   

When I was house hunting myself years and years ago, when we did not have Google maps etc, 50% of the houses I scouted I did not like. So nowadays we are all so fortunate to have rightmove and so forth. Well my belly is rumbling and I must see if Corbyn has run over any more BBC cameramen, electioneering is a blood sport now, just like fox hunting. But at least you all know just how I get my stories. 

One last thing they are painting the local pub, and I mentioned to the foreman that it would show the dirt as it was a light colour and its a main road. He told me it was a special paint, almost self cleaning if I understood him correctly. I did ask could he paint me in it, he just laughed, he was too kind, as he could have said they didn’t have enough paint to cover my size.