By
Michael Casey
Should there be fireworks, should there be a 1000 gun salute like in some tinpot state far far away should there be this or should there be that? See this could be a poem, should it be could be the title.
No, lets just have a chat, what would you do to celebrate 1000 somethings. The 1000th time you farted, but who keeps count, only little brothers. The 1000th time you had a pint of Stella Artois, the barman keeps a count, and throws you out when you have had too many.
Why do we celebrate things anyway, is everything made up by brewers and cake makers. See I've thrown in a bit of philosophy for you. We celebrate things to break up the monotony of everything. To stop us getting bored we have a break from the routine and have a celebration. Michael has cut himself shaving so we'll celebrate that, Barry has farted so we can celebrate that, as he always farts we are always celebrating. So instead we switch to celebrating when he hasn't farted.
See its all an artificial thing, just as artificial as Mandy's boobs, she went away on holiday for a week and came back with an enormous chest and pretended nothing had changed. Well it had, her chest was enormous, and she soon had lots and lots of new boyfriends. Then we placed bets on how soon it would be before she was pregnant. Cruel but every so much fun, us girls are like that aren't we?
So should I explain how I started writing and why I carry on, why won't I stop and so on. Well its the only thing I can do now, now that my health is where it is. I was a:- computer operator, a MARCH Assessor, a call centre operator, a temp, a print room person at a law firm and at city hall, an ESOL English Teacher, a hotel worker where I did 10 different jobs, Jack of All trades at the CPNEC Birmingham. So those are some of my day jobs throughout my life as well as being unemployed and spending 40 hour a week on the computer tracking down work on Job Sites. And I have been an avid BBC Radio 4 listener, 20 years work, followed by 30 years of writing. Then several years of pain, all kinds of everything has been my life.
But the best thing is being a dad to daughters and our female cat Totoro. How many 1000 days I get left with them is not up to me its up to God, you think you are indestructible until you have a major op and then another disease or two comes along. So you have to enjoy every day and hope all these stories you write will be read by your girls when you are gone. I've left 1,000,000 WORDS for them I hope they enjoy them if they get time to read them now that Studying will dominate their lives for the next 10 years. The writing, my writing has been my babies until the real babies arrived. 1000 pieces of writing to prove to myself that I have a brain and to create and share laughter.
Celebrate each day as if its your last is what they say, I hope you all enjoy my words until one day they stop suddenly. I do hope though that I can leave you laughing. So my final word is FART.
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