Had a relaxing bath, stole my daughter's bath stuff
so I must smell like a girl called Nancy
If you read the comic novel The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker
Patrick is smelling just the same
When he meets the girl from the Dog Pound
Though she thinks he's gay, and Calcutta Surprize
She just doesn't want to hear about
read it for yourselves
anyway I'll probably have the day off tomorrow
My Tinnitus is like a Tornado in my right ear
So enjoy me while I'm here
That's what I tell my kids
And please stop sending me rubbish
claiming to be X Y or Z, I just don't care
And I'm NOT impressed
nothing impresses me
Though a Master Tradesman is impressive
Carpenter or Brickie or even Plumber
Not rubbish I get in emails from far away
If you really want to talk try a sentence
Get rich quick ideas are no use to me
I'm closer to a cemetery than any bank
and I won't rhyme any word that you could do
here's me with my DIY haircut from a couple of weeks ago
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