so thank you all
75 years since VJ day, my American Uncle Danny
was in the British army over in the Far East
He jumped ship and sold his uniform rather than wait for demob
Then he went to Boston USA
that's why I have a Boston USA connection via first cousins
We also discovered Chicago cousins, my mother's cousins
I've changed the Hello Image on Wordpress to
instead of my silly face waving
I'm choking on bubble bath or shower gel smell wafting into the study
where I am talking to you from
Teenage daughters are bad for your nose
I may write something new in the morning
Sadly Trump did not resign today
The remove fascist campaign needs to coordinate and
have a fresh attack daily
Taylor Swift said her bit today, which may explain why she
did not come around my house to do the high dusting
I'll just draw in the dust instead
Every day folks should say show us the Bone Spurs
Every day folks should say show us the Tax Bill
Every day folks should say release the 17 + non disclosures
etc etc etc
Sadly there needs to be more fire in the defence of Liberty
Good intentions won't remove the fascist
So organise and arrange buses to take folks to the vote
Or folks give half a day off with pay to vote
Or Public Holiday every election day
Meanwhile in Belarus will it become like Hungary in 1956?
And will Trump mess this up too
So have a good night and pray for my Health, as the pain monster is really horrible at times, left shoulder etc
have a laugh with Trump Putin Pope and British PM May
I’m Setting Up a Band ©
By
Michael Casey
The Pope was cursing, he had had enough, those
Heathens were just that Heathens. He just wanted a quiet life, all alone with
his Rosary, maybe it was Divine Inspiration, or maybe God was playing a trick,
it couldn’t be a dream it was more like a living nightmare. But this is what
happened.
Donald Trump said he’d resign immediately if
Putin did too, he did have his fingers crossed behind his back, and Fox did
show his fingers. Francis, Pope Francis was watching the BBC, for the sake of
his sanity, when he heard Donald Trump make yet another lie. Francis looked up
at the Cross on the wall, Lord if Trump and Putin both resigned now that might
be a good thing. But it’s more likely that I resign too, and what would the 3
of us do then, form a Rock Band like in the Blues Brothers.
Francis liked that film, especially when the Nun
hits the boys with a ruler for swearing. Francis smiled, Rahm Emanuel is
leaving Chicago soon, perhaps he should be our manager. There is always a
Jewish manager in pop bands, Francis smiled again.
Now God works in mysterious ways, and as he was
tending to a junkie who had just entered the Gates of Heaven, washing his feet
and kissing his track marks and then putting his a white suit like a 60s band
member, well God thought it would be a bit of fun. So a dream, the same dream
entered Putin’s and Trump’s mind. The next day simultaneously they invited the
other to Birmingham England, God loved the surreal so it just had to be
Birmingham. The Press corps thought Trump was on drugs, but as they laughed,
and Jon Sopal led the chorus of REALLY? The news came in that Putin had just
made the same comments. In actual fact, when they checked the announcement had
been made simultaneously.
Was Putin on drugs too, was there Collusion?
Trump winged it, I had a dream last night, much better than what’s his name’s
dream, yes Queen, I mean King. In the dream it said meet Putin in Birmingham.
Barron my son said he’s like to look at the Pre-Raphaelites, whatever they are.
He wants to meet Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades too, he’s
in Birmingham. Though it’s more likely the Secret Service will just shave his
head and make a wig for that loser, Jeff Bezo, that’ll teach him and his
failing Washington Post.
I like that idea myself, but Jeff’s wig would be
no match for my mane. And that’ll teach Casey to respect THE PRESIDENT, Trump
reached for his phone to tweet that bit. The entire Press Corps reached for their phones to read
what he had just Twittered. Jon Sopal ran from the room laughing and in search
of a fresh pair of trousers, he’d just pissed himself laughing. There was a
rush for the men’s room, Trump was left alone rambling.
In Russia Putin said he had had a dream too, he
was naked and riding a horse through woods, the trees swayed and turned into
displays of watches hanging from every tree branch. It was a metaphor to remind
him that as great as he looked on his horse one day his time would be up. Just
as Autumn leaves fell, as the watches started to drop off Putin realised he only had so much time, his secret
heart problem would in the end kill him. So he would meet Trump in Birmingham,
he knew what Pre-Raphaelites were and he’d enjoy looking at them. He might even
bring an Easter egg to the museum, a jewelled one. He’d get to taste Cadburys
chocolate eggs too, what more could any Russian want?
The Pope was asked was this Divine Intervention,
he just joked was that some American singer. But in his heart Francis knew what
he had to do. He must go to Birmingham and jump out of a Confessional and
persuade the two of them to resign immediately. Maybe then the world would
stand a chance, he would trick them by saying, if you both resign I’ll resign
too, and we can form a Rock Band. He’d had a phone call from Theresa May the
night before, after she’d stopped swearing he said maybe she could resign and
become a lead singer in a rock band. She laughed, if you get Putin and Trump to
do it, then I’ll do it. Francis got her to say it 3 times and he recorded it,
Nixon learnt everything he knew about taping from his old priest after all. All
Francis had to do was to sneak into Birmingham cathedral, and then pounce, he’d
record everything with his bodycam and then upload it to the Web. Then both
Trump and Putin would have to resign. And to keep his bargain with God so would
he, and Theresa May could be the lead singer. In Paradise the junkie laughed
till he cried, am I still on drugs Lord? Yes, it’s called God’s Love, the only
drug worth having.
Francis had a problem, he couldn’t get a flight
to Birmingham, everything was booked, all the world was coming to Birmingham.
Luckily he had a friend with a balloon, Richard Branson was his name. Richard
explained his balloon would not be fast enough, but he had a friend called Musk
or something. Now this friend loved rockets, so if they strapped a rocket to
the basket then they’d get there much faster than 80 days. Francis gave Musk
some scented candles as a thank you.
Richard flew the balloon at night, and landed at
the Oratory, Benedict had asked Francis to return a book of Newman’s he’d
borrowed.At the Oratory Francis would catch a black taxi driven by Nanjit
Tanjit, who Nanjit Tanjit, he’s a character in The Butcher The Baker and The
Undertaker, you’ll have to do some research. And then under cover of darkness
Francis would sneak into Birmingham’s Saint Phillips’ cathedral. In the morning
Trump and Putin would light a candle for Peace.
There were no confessionals in Saint Phillips as
it was an Anglican cathedral, very small but very nice. This writer used to
hide in there during his lunch break for 3 years, the Verger who looks like
Jeff Bezo thought I was Holy, I was just sitting down, away from the heat of
the Print Room at Pinsent Masons law firm. Francis just hid for teh night in
something just as small as the Confessional, the toilet at the back of the
church behind the double doors.
In the morning Francis all in crumbled white
readied himself. The Secret Service and the FSB had checked the cathedral, so
Trump and Putin were all alone, just a remote camera showing live pictures
only. Francis had written “out of order” on a piece of paper so nobody had
bothered to check the toilet. As they postured for the cameras Trump and Putin
spoke. Well NO COLUSION, smiled Trump, yea but I still want the Presidential
Suite as soon as your tower in built in Saint Petersburg. Deal done smiled
Trump and they shook hands. The candles were lit and they bowed their heads.
Don Camillo would have given both of them an almighty kick up the arse. Saint
Petersburg, they had changed the city, the heir to Saint Peter was angry.
Francis jumped out and grabbed a lit candle, the
pair of presidents, which is a metaphor, jumped back. We thought we saw a Ghost
they exclaimed. The Holy Ghost sent me, now you both have to resign immediately
and join a Rock Band, the pair of presidents, still a metaphor laughed. If
Theresa May is lead singer and flashes her legs then we’ll do it. Ok we will
they both joked like a pair a presidents, even more a metaphor. Francis paused,
if you 2 resign then I will too, so long as Theresa May joins the band? YES YES
YES they said simultaneously. Francis was uploading this to the Holy Friar
website, in second the whole world heard the news. Then he played the tape of
Theresa May, including the bit where she was swearing like a trooper.
And that is how the Golden Politicians were born.
Francis too resigned on the spot. He wasn’t going to flat share the Vatican
with Benedict and his piano. He was hitting the road Jack and he wouldn’t look
back. In Parliament Mrs May punched the Speaker, which many had thought would
happen, but Mr Bercow just smiled, our views may be at variance, but to forgive
is divine, so I forgive. Mrs May had come to her senses by now so she French
Kissed the life out of him by way of apology. The kiss lasted a full nine
minutes, they say being Speaker is a dangerous occupation, but now History
would say otherwise.
If you have wondered why Mr May always looks so
happy and slightly bewildered behind his Biggles’ glasses well the Speaker can
explain things for you. With a parting Vsign to her own back benchers Mrs May
left the chamber, now the Speaker looked happy and very very bewildered behind
his disordered papers. He had to order a pint of Stella Artois be brought to
the Chamber to revive him.
The new band members met
in an upper room, the old Waterworks Jazz club venue. They had a pint of Stella
Artois each, though Pope Francis has a glass of wine too. Donald said he did
not drink, but when Theresa gave him the eye he was putty in her hands. So
Donald had 17 pints of Stella Artois and a packet of cheese and onion crisps.
His lifetime thirst was over. Stan the caretaker tapped another barrel. Then
then the new band moved to the Bell and Pump room to rehearse. Theresa now
liberated was the leader of the pack, and dressed all in skin tight leather she
now felt so so liberated.
They rehearsed all the
ABBA back list, it was the one thing they all knew. Francis was a great base
guitarist, and Putin just liked to stand at the keyboards, he was great, but
Classical was more his forte,but everybody just loves ABBA. Put what about
Donald? Well he put on a kilt and no knickers, and reached for a guitar. He
knew that girls loved to sleep with rock musicians, so he had secretly learnt
how to play. The servants had assumed the noise in the attic was his kids, but
no, it was the Donald. He’d paid Mick and Keith a lot of money to come and
teach him back in the 1970s. And he’d been practising for decades. Property he
knew, but strutting with a guitar he was even better at, but nobody knew.
Except a few ladies who’d signed non disclosure agreements.
So they played, while Rahm
Emanuel their new manager made
calls as only a Chicago mayor or former mayor can. He’d left Chicago safe in
the hands of a Black Lesbian Mayor, now Rahm Emanuel would face his biggest
test. Getting the biggest paying concert ever on the road. The Stones were delayed so while Mick stopped prancing they
could step in and seize their stage. Two Presidents, a Pope and a Prime
Minister. What a line up, Rahm Emanuel decided to call them The Four Golden
Peas. He rung Esther his dear friend and asked could she arrange security and
the finances once he funnel them to her. Security was easy her son made
military satellites, and knew many tough guys.
The money side of things
was kind of not legit, you see all the money would be going to Charity. The
first charity being Médecins
Sans Frontières, MSF or Doctors without Borders. Those bastards, the
politicians had started more wars between them so they should give back
something.
So Médecins
Sans Frontières, would be first. Rahm
had set himself a target, One Billion US Dollars. And to help things along,
Fr.Dan was going to hear Confession with El Chapo and when he finished every
cent he had stashed away would be going to Charity, real Charity not his
favourite hooker called Charity.
Fr. Dan knew how to hear Confession,
he would beat the ____ out of El Chapo while they were along in his cell. Then
he would use Voodoo and put the fear of God into El Chapo, finishing with the
words, God Doesn’t Love You Any More. This would break any man in 30 mins tops.
Screaming for mercy El Chapo would reveal all. Then Esther would use her
Russian Money Laundering Connections to launder the money, and it would end up
sparkling clean in each Charity’s bank account. Besides with Putin in the band,
no questions would be asked.
Rahm Emanuel smiled, he should have
been in the real Blues Brothers but he was just too busy, though he did do one
day’s work on the film. It was Rahm Emanuel who drove the car at the Neo Nazi
Bastards, so they had to jump for their lives. Not a lot of people known this,
Rahm is modest about his film driving career.
The first gig arrived. It would be at
Birmingham’s NEC Arena, the one that looks like Spider landed. Rahm Emanuel
smiled, Fr Dan had IMed Chapo had talked, in fact he sung like a canary, when a
multi black belt Jesuit asks you a question then you answer. Fr.Dan had used
Voodoo too, Chapo had peed himself in under a minute. The guards were watching
the Concert live in their rest room, so Fr.Dan was left in peace to hear
Confession.Rahm was too busy to count the zeros, it was 15,000,000,000 USD.
Esther smiled, her dear friend Mrs
Murphy would be so happy, but now she was busy moving the money. In and out of
Government’s own bank accounts as well, to make it all sparkling clean. Esther
has her list of Charities and smiling she went about her work. Meanwhile Artist
Differences had reared their ugly head. Theresa decided to let it all hang out.
So she stripped naked and demanded they all did the same. Stripped back music,
was different, maybe kissing Bercow had confused her. Give me your tie Donald.
So Theresa wrapped his red tie down below. She was like Cher with her modesty
half covered but with her behind hanging out. Then she grabbed Donald’s lapel
badge to cover her left nipple and Rahm gave her his badge for the right
nipple.
Glitter me she commanded, and then
she was spray painted in glitter,the perfect Glam Rock look. The Pope stayed
clothed in white, but he wore silver high heels. Donald and Putin were sprayed
in glitter, Donald lost his trousers but put a kilt back on. Putin just put
some very tight shorts on to highlight his accomplishments, of course he was
bar chested too.
With that Francis started to play,
And The Winner Takes it All, and Theresa May strode out and hit the stage.
Overwhelming Applause. She did grab her husband and give him the kind of kiss
you’d get arrested for if you did it in public. They lashed the crowd with ABBA
hits, and everybody was amazed and
Donald Trump showed the world his class and more as he spun around in his kilt,
knickerlass to the world. Putin stopped the show with his piano playing, he
inserted a few Russian classics.There were no flies on him, and certainly no
shirt required, he played his heart out. On the top of the keyboard were
Cadburys cream eggs which he scoffed as the show went on.
Francis disappeared in smoke, like
holy orders gone mad, but his Bass was unbelievable. Back home Benedict was a
little jealous, he was stuck in the Vatican and soon they’d be a 3rd
Pope. When they ran out of Abba songs Putin to sing, Russian traditional songs about
combine harvesters and wheat yield. But he knew nobody would understand, so he
cried as he sung and as the others jammed around. It was an absolute hit,
everybody in the audience was crying. Esther was laughing all the way to the
bank. 40,000,000,000 USD had been stolen from locked up drugs barrons, as Fr.
Dan had toured the jails. Many many charities had benefited. Even Spangle Shoes
for Prisoners would get 10,000USD.
What more can I say. Theresa May was
a Rock Chic, she wiggled and sung with all her heart. She was free from all
those BASTARDS, now she could give her husband everything she had. Her husband
rung Beds4Politicians and ordered a new divan set, he knew he’d be needing it.
Covered in Sweat and Naked before the Audience, was the title of the Live
Triple Album, Rahm certainly knew a good title. That made 100,000,000 USD for
Charity. The true figures were never released to the Public nor to Governments,
Esther and Rahm didn’t want too many nosey parkers into their business. They’d
give the finger to those kind of people.
At the end of the concert Rahm gave
each member of the band a crisp dollar bill. After expenses this is what you
get. A dollar each, the Pope looked at the reverse. IN GOD WE TRUST. Pope
Francis cried, he cried like a baby. Then he woke up, it had all been a dream.
But when he woke up under his pillow was a fresh dollar bill with Love Rahm
written on it.
Theresa May woke up her new divan
set, Beds4Politicians, was broken, her
husband was gently smouldering, tea and crumpet for breakfast dear. I’ve had
the strangest of dreams she began sitting up in bed, a crisp dollar bill with
Love Rahm was under her pillow, and why had she got USA flags stuck to her
nipples. And what was irritating her down below, she pulled out a red tie, her
husband never wore red.
What of Trump and Putin? They awoke
in The Plough and Harrow, they were in bed together, naked with each clasping a
dollar bill signed by Rahm Emanuel. Now am I making this all up, or is this a
Dream within a Dream. Donald did say at the beginning that he had a dream
better than a Queens…..
No comments:
Post a Comment