I've got my spirits back after 3 hours of a very funny Kdrama about shoes. More to watch tomorrow, so while I'm lazy have a read of this from 04/04/2017
there's a ton of stuff to read online and 20 books to buy, I know you never will, but they are there if you find a coin at the back of the sofa....
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1
Lech The Altar Boy and The Ghost ©
By Michael Casey
Lech was an altar boy in Cracow, this writer was an altar
boy too but that was in Birmingham in the 1960s and 1970s, they do have one
thing in common and that was Ghosts. Lech was big and strong and he’d punch
anybody who said serving Mass was for mothers’ boys, he had a Faith as strong
as he was. And besides he liked dressing up and carrying candles, it was fun
and was very theatrical, especially the orb thing that you put charcoal in and
the priest adds incense to, they you get to shake it all about. It was a kind
of very smelly high, smoke everywhere.
Lech was always the last boy to finish after the Mass or
Benediction or the Funeral or whatever it was, because Fr. Thomas also shared a
cigarette with him when nobody was looking. Fr. Thomas had been in the Missions
and had come home to Cracow to die, he had picked up a few diseases while
abroad and as Cracow had a good hospital the Bishop brought him home to serve
in a small church so Fr. Thomas could be close to a hospital. The Bishop also
happened to be Fr. Thomas’s friend from 50 years before when they were at
school together. Fr. Thomas had beaten a bully, in fact he had knocked seven
shades of, well you know the next word, so no need to say it. So Fr. Thomas had
saved the future Bishop and that’s why they became friends.
Lech reminded Fr. Thomas of himself, a big strong lad who
was afraid of nothing, so that’s why they shared a cigarette when both should
not. Fr. Thomas knew Lech would never be a priest, he’d be a father sure, but
not a Fr. more like a father of 10. Lech was a magnet for girls, girls of all
ages, 16 to 160 years old, they all thought he was so pretty, he’d tempt
anybody even some of the statues of the saints scattered around the church.
It was just after Lech and Fr. Thomas had finished their
cigarette one Thursday evening that Fr. Thomas collapsed, Lech caught him in
his arms and saw the life slip away from him. Fr. Thomas gasped for breath but
as he was dying he said “if I was a father a real father, you would have been
the perfect son for me, just promise me you’ll give up smoking” Lech promised
he’d give up the cigarettes and Fr. Thomas died with a smile on his lips. Fr.
Thomas had died a “father”, with a son called Lech who was as big as and as
strong as an Ox.
Fr. Thomas’s funeral stopped Cracow, everybody came ,
priests galore, and everybody had a good time, Lech was the chief altar boy and
he was given the honour of reading the passage from the Bible about Lazarus
being raised from the dead and Jesus cried for his friend.
After the burial all the were gathered around chatting,
and having a crafty smoke, priest and nurses are devils for a cigarette, but
you know that already. Lech was going to join in, but he could hear a voice in
his head, promise me you’ll never smoke, it was almost as if Fr. Thomas was
standing behind him. He had the cigarette lit in his hand, so instead he
stubbed it out and put it in his pocket.
At times of stress or sadness, we may all hear or see
voices or shadows, or echoes or reflections, its normal when your mum dies, or
when your favourite dog dies, you may hear it bark and so on. In Lech’s case
whenever he reached for a cigarette he could hear Fr. Thomas’s voice, he could
hear him asking him to promise not to smoke.
Once he looked up from the cigarette in his hand and he
thought he could see Fr. Thomas’s, reflection in the presbytery’s kitchen
window, he spun around only nobody was there. If it was cannabis he could have
explained it, but since Fr. Thomas’s death he had kept his promise not to
smoke, he had always heard Fr. Thomas’s voice in his head just as he was about
to put any cigarette of any kind to his lips.
This went on for 2 years, he could light a cigarette but
as soon as he was about to put it to his lips the Voice the Advice from a Dead
Priest was in his head. Finally he threw his cigarette lighter into the river
that ran through Cracow, only as he was so angry at the dead priest he
miss-threw it and it hit a girl on the side of her head and she fell in the
street.
Karolina was her name and she was a nurse who smoked like
the devil, or she did till Lech picked her up from the gutter in the street.
She was so angry, yet so beautiful, wouldn’t you be if an oaf, an ox had hit
you with a cigarette lighter. Lech took out his dirty snotty handkerchief and
held it against her head to stop the bleeding. As he apologised he looked into
Karolina’s eyes and she looked into his, what would you do if you were a Polish
girl from Cracow and a huge hunk was looking into your eyes. Well tell me, tell
me right now, or I’ll stop the story. STOP.
Ok, I stopped the story while I had a drink of water,
Girls have you made up YOUR mind, what would you do to Lech? She battered him,
but all the time he held his dirty snotty handkerchief to her wound, he had to
stop the bleeding after all. Then she
laughed and laughed, then she kissed him more and more. Only a fool would
behave in such a fashion taking everything she threw at him, be it blows or
kisses but all the time holding a filthy rag at her face to stop the bleeding.
The church was still open so Lech suggested they go back
and she could wash her face. He also said she could go to confession to ask for
forgiveness for beating him, then they started laughing again. It turned out
she was single and that her boyfriend had dumped her when he found out just
before getting engaged that she could not have children. Lech was angry and
cursed him whoever he was, he even offered to beat the living daylights out of
him. Karolina lost her heart to him at that very second.
In church one of the confessionals had a light on so
Karolina went inside to have Confession while Lech went to find the first aid
kit. Cracow confessions are very quick, to the point and quick. Inside the priest
said all you have to do is give up smoking, and then you’ll find a husband.
Lech is a nice boy Karolina. I absolve you, and for your penance you must
promise never to beat your husband Lech again. Karolina was dumbfounded, how
did the priest know all about it.
Lech came back with the first aid kit and tended to
Karolina’s wounds, she said you have to go to confession now I’ve just been, so
after putting a final plaster on her hear Lech went to Confession. Lech was
about to confess when he heard the familiar voice of Fr. Thomas telling him he
should marry Karolina, but he should stop throwing cigarette lighters about or
he could really hurt somebody. As for having children, Michael Casey the
Birmingham writer who translates into Polish, well he asked Padre Pio for a wife and children, but he left
it all up top God. So Lech just leave it all up to God.
Lech left the confessional as white as a sheet, as if he
had seen a ghost. He looked at Karolina, I will marry you and we will leave it
up to God to see if we have children. Karolina got up from her seat and
pointed, Lech spun around and there was Fr. Thomas was walking into the
sacristy, he was arm in arm with another Cracow priest, Karol was his name in
life.
Lech and Karolina got married as soon has her wound was
healed on her head. She only ever had two pregnancies, triplets, three girls,
then quads four boys, making 7 children in all. Because when asked in the Bible
how many times you should forgive, 7 times? NO 77x 7 times. Karolina forgave
him 7 times, and that was enough for both of them.
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