my daughter Audrey Hepburn

my daughter Audrey Hepburn

as I speak my small daughter is having her eyes tested

then she hopes to be able to get contact lenses

she really does look like Audrey Hepburn 

when she has her shades on

It's my seeds, so to speak, mixed with Shanghai blood

a recipe for perfect hair and looks too

And no there won't be any snaps

My girls have reached the age where Privacy is so important

Her big sister  looks like me, face and build

Whereas she is like her mother, smaller and petite

And like any dad with pretty daughters

This leaves me  proud but worried

So I'm always like Mr Brown in Paddington

they tell me, talking about safety

If only the had a gay friend who played rugby

Or a gay best friend as big as the Rock

then I'd know they'd be safe

Yes, old fashioned, but I won't be here forever

So I tell them what Whitey should have done

If you are grabbed, don't pull away 

But quickly go the same way and trip

the bad guy, then run away

Find Lech, Boris and Gregorgi Check it Out

from a few years ago on my site

That's how any dad feels

Meanwhile my small daughter will be prettier than ever

No glasses hiding her face

Though obviously I call all my beauties, UGLY MUG

Don't want them to think they are as beautiful as me

Where did I put my mirror

As  you can see from the photos of me

I always show all my  bad looks

You'd all be swooning if I was all dolled up

You'd swoon a lot and bang your head on the PC

in front of you

Duncan on the night shift could never get used to them

So he'd fall asleep while typing and bang his head

and wake up again suddenly

I just remembered that

Anyway stay as pretty as me, and if you have a real 

cure for Tinnitus, I'll marry you

Just hope you don't mind scars