The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker: The Cat in a box

Friday 2 August 2019

The Cat in a box

well the pain eased so I got the story done

The Cat in a Box ©

Michael Casey

Totoro is a naughty cat, old Mrs Murphy knew that, when his owner passed on Mrs Murphy inherited the cat, and Totoro never sat on a mat. Totoro was a Ninja climbing cat who wanted to climb and explore and did things galore like no other cat before.

Mrs Murphy would find Totoro asleep and smiling all over the place, hiding here and there, anywhere it was warm, Totoro was a cat after all, so she knew where the warm places were. Totoro was also very nosey too, so she opened every cupboard with her nose and toes, she even jumped into the fridge when the door was left open too long.

She was such a naughty cat, but she was so beautiful, and her fur so soft, and Mrs Murphy loved to have her sit on her lap and watch tv together. Now Mrs Murphy had a divan bed with drawers in, so Totoro taught herself to open the drawers and climb inside to sleep, or climb past the drawer and sleep on the floor under the bed. It was a nice warm place, apart from when Mrs Murphy farted in her sleep and her pollution drifted downwards under the bed.

Totoro loved Mrs Murphy and Mrs Murphy loved Totoro. There was one other person that loved Mrs Murphy or rather her rings on her fingers, she had no bells on her nose or is it toes? Jack the local bad boy had just got out of Winson Green Prison, and he wanted some quick cash for crack. So as he knew the area he thought Mrs Murphy would be an easy target, as she had no dog to bite him.

So he climbed the drainpipe and slide open Mrs Murphy’s bedroom window. She was easy prey, not a Miss Lump with a baseball bat under her bed to keep robbers at bay. Mrs Murphy awoke suddenly, Jack the lad was leaning over her. Things could get out of hand, there was danger in the air. Indeed there was, Totoro did not being woken up at night while dreaming of 10 kills of rats in a night, lining them up in a row on the doorstep, like a good cat does, and in Totoro’s case he had really done so.

Totoro sneaked out like a thief from under the bed, Mrs Murphy was scared, and who was this smelly lad. Mrs Murphy smelt nice, but this lad smelt bad, and it was too bad for him. Totoro leapt from the darkness and scratched him on his bare legs, Jack was wearing his cycling shorts, his bike was his getaway vehicle. But bare legs exposed to a Ninja cat were such a great target.

Jack spun around and chased the cat out of the bedroom, Mrs Murphy got out of bed and put the chair against the door. Totoro led Jack into the next bedroom and hid in a high cupboard. Totoro thought this was a good game, Jack cursed and banged open every cupboard in the spare bedroom. Then he opened the high cupboard and felt about. He got Totoro by the tail and pulled her out, only it was an old belt from decades ago. As for Totoro she leapt and slid down Jack’s face, claws out. It was only a belt but for Totoro there had to be solidarity with cat’s tails, real and imaginary. So Jack was now a scar face, as he screamed in pain.

Totoro raced down the landing, but then stopped at the top of the stairs, one of her favourite positions in the house with a commanding view, though at night it was pitch black. Totoro just lay there, waiting for Jack. Then as he approached she jumped up and scratched his balls, though breaking into old ladies homes at night any real man with balls would never do.

Jack fell down the stairs, so Totoro leapt and landed on face, scratching as she bounced over him. She raced to the cat flap next, with a bleeding and very angry Jack after her. He unbolted the back door, just as lights were going on in Tumbledown Street, Jack’s screams had woken up the neighbours. Mrs Murphy wisely stayed in her bedroom. Totoro raced on, a plan in her mind, she turned left and race up the garden path to number 88, they always had windows open, so Totoro jumped inside.

In seconds Totoro’s friends, Tom and Jerry were released through the door. You see Tom and Jerry were Police dogs that lived with Sgt. Dick the Policeman, Totoro had led Jack straight to the police. He’d be back in Winson Green Jail hours, Totoro did take another swipe at Jack, and that was for waking her up in the middle of a good dream.

Mrs Murphy was so happy, and Sgt. Dick did say there was a reward for his capture. So Mrs Murphy spent the money on Ocado and had a little party for her neighbours. As for Jack he was in a rat infested jail, he even wished Totoro was there to protect him. And where was Totoro, she was asleep in a cupboard in the spare room.