Piping Hot

Piping Hot (c)

By

Michael Casey

 

Well we got some new ovenware, so while my dinner is in the oven, I’ll talk about Piping Hot food. I’m that well planned as far as these stories go. So how do you like your food? Some like it Hot, which was the name of a film, but it could be a metaphor. It depends on you, speaking of hot, Are you Human is my new Kdrama, it was very hot there as the nightclub burnt down, and a robot saved the day. Very exciting with the usual song/music soundtrack. The robot got shinged but the girl thought he was HOT, me I just thought the girl was hot, and gently smoldered. She was a martial arts girl, so I won’t tell her to her face, I just wonder can she type too.

 

So food should be hot, there’s nothing worse than cold food, so I always tell my daughters to finish fast, so I can have hot slops, or make up their mind faster, so I get hotter slops. This is the life of a dad, you are just a dustbin, maybe that’s why flies follow me. A microwave is good to to reheat any slops before you eat them. Yes I know what we are all told but, a bit of left over pizza or chicken licking is always best when it is hot. Otherwise it just goes in the dustbin. And as your mother tells you,”its a sin to waste food”. Though I never waste food, you can tell by the size of my waist, I only buy what I like and eat what I like, so waste. Or is it because I’m greedy? Read 300 and Not OUT, as we’ve just past the 300^th word, that’s the family stories, I even loaded it up again in Arabic, for all my Arabic speaking readers. You’ll no doubt find some food stories in it.

 

Now in the middle of the night it’s always good to have something hot and spicy, and I don’t just mean your girlfriend/boyfriend, before you all say it anyway. I used to have my sandwich break at 4am in my computer room days. I’d have ham and Red Leicester cheese sandwich, you run around a computer room for up to 12 hours you need energy food. The company had a cheap drinks machine, it may have even become free years later. In the daytime we’d go to the hole in the wall sandwich shop, so on days it was cold sandwiches, but on the night shift it was my hot Red Leicester and ham. Now a word of advice, too long in the microwave and the sandwich went all stiff and useless,like eating cardboard, so you had to time it right,so it’d stay nice.

 

You could skin a cat and eat it, Totoro just creept in and hid under my desk, with dangerous wires, so sparks and cat on fire maybe. Be careful of that darn cat, or they’d be pussy frying tonight. Everybody everywhere if you have an animal you have to watch it, cos they always sneak everywhere. So lids on food, or put stray food in a cupboard, or in the oven or in the microwave to hide. And if you have a dog and a baby, get rid of the dog, because too many babies have died, because the animal would not hurt a fly, but will kill a baby.

 

That safety message was brought to you by Totoro our cat, so blame her. Now back to food, when you call the kids to the table, switch off the wifi, there are Apps that do it from your phone, so switch off the wifi otherwise you’ll be eating alone. Your family should be eating together, whatever the weather. Mindfulness and so on, or as my mother would say, the dinner’s on the table, eat it now, or the cat gets it. Jean our old cat 50 years ago, did get the Xmas turkey once,so my mother cut out the bite mark, and we cooked it. Hot Xmas dinner for 13 and a dog and a cat, remember. Don’t forget to heat the plates too, even if you have to steal your sister’s hair drier.

 

Well it’s time for my dinner now. It was anyway, but the new ovenware is too slippy and I tripped over the cat. Yes, it broke and my dinner went all over the floor. So I’ll be having Red Leicester and ham again. As for Totoro, she’ll be eating my hot dinner from the floor, and the ovenware is no more. Be careful in kitchens, accidents do happen, the chefs at CPNEC did tell me off once, for getting in the way on a security patrol, 60 dishes could have fallen, and I would have been axed like a tree from the company. So wherever you are and whatever you are eating, just keep it hot and spicy, and you never know your boyfriend/girlfriend may repay you in kind. And take precautions, do lay the table first, and be careful of the water jug.