Addressing People

 Addressing People (c)

By Michael Casey

Now I am a creature, yes you all reply, interrupting me

A creature of habit, and yes i look like a hairy Hobbit

But if you do things regularly then you won't be constipated

So get up at a regular time, and eat and drink etc

Regularly

Habits work, that's why Organisation works

Work, Rest and Play

and don't forget to Pray at bedtime

or any time, God is always waiting

Even at a bus stop or in a lift, or queueing at the checkout

God is everywhere after all

Now IF you are regular you life may

Seem boring but your life works

If you are wasting time, or not keeping track of time

Then you are always rushing about, like Putin

I had to put that joke in to see are you  listening

He reads me too

Some joker sent me a message from Russia

So I asked when will Mother Russia start being a Man?

No not a transgender reference

BUT a sincere question, 140,000 men marching up to the top

of the hill and then down again

And as Francis said down the club, its obscene when Covid 19

Is all about, use armies to save lives, not scream and shout

Or maybe I'm a pacifist, or just pissed, in all senses of the word

Then in the papers I hear all this PC language

Kids must be called students

and boys and girls is stereotypical so must not be used

I cursed at the screen, and my words worth drifts out the open window

Education is about exposing people to knowledge that's why they go to college

If you are afraid of this or that, then they may just stay at home and stroke the cat

Hey you little bastards get in line or I'll give you a slap of the ruler

And you are all a bunch of bastards, only I your head teacher 

Know who your dad's really are

My flat overlooks the supermarket carpark

And they are not testing car suspension at that time of night

And hey you Casey, one day you will hang

Which was really said to my own dad in 1920s/30s

But my own dad got "revenge" 4 teachers in the family

And his sons  were at Queens Oxford, and Downing Cambridge

Not forgetting the Sancho Pancha in the family, me

2,000,000 words and 20 books on Amazon

But should the head teacher call them little bastards

Will they be scared forever

I got 4 of the best on my bum for not knowing the times tables

In 1966 maybe, and today I can recite my times tables still

What about the little bastards of today

Pauline knows her kids, and they know they'll get a slap

Or a look that could kill, cos she has eyes in the back of her head

And they eat more than jam and bread

Like when gran did when she was younger

Hey Bollocks you, watch my fence as you park your car

Your just a fat old bitch

Noises off, as Denny farts

Yes she's an old bitch, and definitely got eyes in the back of her head

The driver spun around

We're her little bastards, and you don't talk to Miss like that

30 little bastards, now grown kids

It's her Birthday so we her little bastards are having a party

So watch her fence, Or I'll arrest you, Denny was a copper now

22 stones and 6feet seven, Miss said he'd thank her

And so he did, that well aimed slap of the ruler 

and being forced to read and learn. his times tables

Now he had a PhD from the Open University

But he preferred to walk the streets

A chance to meet people and to have a laugh

Nobody called him Sir, he was know as TT

Because he rode a motor bike

Or because Miss made him repeat his Times Tables

You can be fancy or call every Nancy

If you cannot remember just say hello Nancy

As nobody listens they will think you are saying

Nice to See You, well it worked for Bruce Forsythe

Talking is for communicating

You don't need to pretend to be posh

In the end we all wash our bollocks

Especially Michael Bollcocks Casey

or just call me Nancy if you pass in the street