Telephone Interviews

Telephone interviews are a new feature of the modern world. With so many people chasing those jobs, it’s the fastest way to sort the wheat from the chaff. There are good and bad points to it. The interviewer can be sat on the bed in a 4star hotel with a nice bottle of wine gently breathing beside him as he asks questions over the phone. As for the interviewee he can be in his dressing gown with 5 days worth of stubble on his face, his hair unwashed and uncombed, a hole in his slippers. Then politely they talk about the skill set the interviewee can bring to the task, how much experience he has doing this and doing that. The interviewer can ask the interviewee to hold the line as there is another call coming in, and he does apologise. So the interviewee is left on hold while the interviewer finishes his glass of wine and pours himself another glass. The interviewee pastes his hair down with spit even though he cannot be seen, but while on hold he will tidy himself up a bit. The interviewer watches the sports headlines on Sky TV before having another sip from his glass before resuming the interview.  Questions about experience and future career paths are posed and answered.  The interviewee feels confident and smiles at himself in the mirror. The interviewer loosens his belt and lets his stomach out. The interview is concluded.
Mr Unkempt gets through to the next round. This time he has to SSS which means exactly what it says, SSS. He spends ages in the bathroom , more than his sisters did when he used to live at home. He wears his best shiny black shoes, only for the laces to snap, so then he has to hunt around to find a lace that matches his shoes. Only he cannot, so he steals a navy one from a different pair of shoes. He looks in the mirror to see if its noticeable, and it is, so he loosens his belt, so his trousers hang lower so that they hide his shoes, only problem is that with his fat belly his trousers might fall off completely. That would certainly make an impression at the interview. If he was applying for a farce actor’s position then it would be great, Brian Rix would be impressed. The interviewer is a power dresser, his 1000pound suit compared to the 49.99 one worn by the interviewee. And yes the laces are noticed, immediately.
Positive body language v negative body language, neutral body language. Arms folded, arms open, open legs with hands on top of knees. Licking of lips, eyes skyward, eyes averted, eyes straight and looking into the soul.
The usual interview so to speak. Then the waiting for a letter in the post, or an email for fail.
Happy Interviews everybody.

Die Hard 4.0 or how to use talents

WE just finished watching Die Hard 4.0 on the tv. We all really enjoyed it. The story reveolved around people taking over all of the computer networks in the USA. There was loads of action but what made me think was how would you deal with hackers?

In England we have a man with a form of autism who just after 911 he broke into USA  computers, because he was looking for news of ETs, it was his hobby. He has been dragged through English courts and finally he will be sent to USA where he could go to jail for a long time.

So the question is why weren't the USA computers hack proof. Was it because they weren't tested? Was it arrogance? Me, if I were the USA authorities, I'd give the guy a job and let him explain just how he did it. Or is it empty pride? It would be far cheaper than sticking him in jail. I'm sure if those of you who are in the USA are reading this and you stop to think you agree with me. War Games is a film from 10 to 20 years ago when teenage hackers get into NORAD. A similar them.

When I eventually get around to writing Tears For A Butcher my follow up comedy novel, then in that book there will be a handicapped person who is a whiz on IT. There body may be mal formed but their brain is not. In my story its to show that we shouldn't put people in a dustbin because we are ignorant about them. And arrogant towards them. In my story those IT whizes do get offered a great job working for the USA, why because they did what was in Die Hard 4.0, by the way I thought up my plot line before I saw the film. Also in the follow up book two twin sisters  find their first boyfriends, and who do these Venuses pick. Do they chose football heros with bulging muscles, but maybe no brains. NO these two Venuses chose a guy with a limp and the other pick has a severe stutter.

Why do I chose to make my characters in my book behave in such a way? I want people who see the true worth of people. Its not the smile, all flashing perfect teeth. A better person may have bad teeth and bad breath. A real hero is not all "Hollywood", its the guy in the garage who fixes your car. Its the fat middle age lady who is the crossings lady when you take your kids to and from school. Its you when you deliberately start a conversation with the lonely old lady on the bus. Your very words are warmth to her soul. She'll smile  and get off the bus and wave to you. She'll talk about you to her cat when she gets home. You have been the one ray of sunshine in her day.

These are ordinary people who make up our world. Some will have talents which God has sprinkled randomly, just to remind us that all are loved by him. Even me, even you.

 

 

Google to Google or Internet Maze

Google to Google or Internet Maze ©

By

Michael Casey

Google to Google, you know what I mean? Well you start in one place and end up somewhere totally different. 25 years ago I went for a walk in Normandy and ended
Up miles and miles away, about 25 miles away. Luckily I found an old cottage that happened to be a restaurant, so I stopped and had a very good meal and 3 coffee  pots of coffee. It was a bit like the Witches Cottage in Hanzel and Grettel or some other fairy tale. Finally I emerged and decided to head back the way I’d came as it was getting dark. A car stopped and asked me the pedestrian for directions. So I gave him the exact directions. He said au revoir and he was gone. Only I didn’t have the sense to ask for a lift, he was going back to where I was going back. So I continued walking for 2 or 3 more hours along those winding roads that the GIs had stormed back in 44.

That’s an example of just wandering without any destination, an example of stupidity too, but I have a Phd in Stupidy. With Google the whole world gets to follow my example. Today I clicked on this and then clicked on that, which led me there and then I was somewhere else entirely. It can be very educational, or it can make you want to pull your hair out. It is like looking for a needle in a haystack, or maybe you just find a haystack that is made up entirely of needles. So you have to refine your search. Today’s semi-random search lead to www.interead.co.uk which is a company that make ereaders and sells ebooks by the million. So of course I’ve emailed them in the vain hope that they could sell my two books as ebooks.
The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker   and my Essays and Plays. Google as we all know IS the best search engine. Bing and Yahoo trail behind in 100th place in my opinion.  Test it for your selves and see what you get.

An easy way to start is by putting your city, your name, your hobby in and then see what pops up. Then you click on that and go there and then there leads you somewhere else. Many years ago there was a black and white TV series on tv here in England, I think it was called Pinpoint, I saw the repeats when I was a child so its very old now. Anyways the point of the show was to follow the connections starting with the pin point and travelling around till you got back to where you started. If anybody wants a host for the show if some TV producer is reading this then I’m free and cheap. James Burke the great tv presenter did a show in the 80s I think about technology and all the connections, it was a great show and very well presenter. With Google you have the chance to do the same thing. Place names tell us all about the past from a place, if it was a steel town in the past, or if it was a scene of a battle. Just click and go around the world in 80 clicks, there’s another idea there for you. Google is clicking us all together, we can stagger from one site to another, you can plan a pub crawl just by investigating your local pubs on Google. For those who pray, then you can plan your prayer holiday, whatever style of prayer you follow.

Google is a Maze of information but by clicking your way you can find your way home, and if home is where your heart is then cuddle up to www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com and with a warm drink or wife in your hand you can see out any winter’s storm.
Happy Reading.

Michael Casey

Shakespeare in Love and various other thoughts

We just watched Shakespeare in Love the 1998 film. It was very good and I enjoyed the music too. The passion for words and the wheeler dealing was funny too. I think Dame Judy Dench got an Oscar for it too, forgive me if I'm wrong. The Passions and Pain was all revealed too, I'd forgotten how good the film was. A long time ago I did a course on Shakespeare, you have to try and understand the style of the language too, the metaphors and old English language. All in all a very good film, with even a young Ben Afleck in it. So grab and pizza and get a copy from your local video store.

What Shakespeare also reminded me was how we all need to communicate to each other. If Joe knows cars then we speak in car metaphors. It not patronising its socialising, when I was working at the hotel 5 years ago if we had Scots visitors then the word "wee" would slip into my language it was the natural thing to do. We even had Top Cops conferences so I'd share a joke with a Chief Constable or two as I walked around the hotel on a security patrol. The joke was we had a sniper on the roof to keep petty car thieves away. We did have the most secure car park on the NEC site. The NEC is the biggest exhibition site in Europe, and bigger than the one in New York, so I've been told.

If talking to chefs you always listen with respect not just because the were masters in their field but because chefs have knives, lots of knives so its always best to have respect. The housekeeping crew knew everything about cleaning rooms and corridors, so  I'd share a word while I did my 30 mins patrols that took me everywhere. Some days I might even be helping them when the hotel was ultra busy. So I'd stay out of Vicky's way by cleaning the bathrooms while she cleaned the bedrooms. Its very hard work, but there is a sense forfillment when a corridor has been done. 15 rooms a day I think it was, though it could have been 20. I'd take off my front of house jacket and roll up my sleeve and put the rubber gloves on while I was on bathroom duty. My dec phone might ring then I'd be summons downstairs to help out at front of house. Its all like a mad and busy ballet, though I've never worn a tutu, though I have been positively vetted by a Chinese ballet dancer when I first met my wife, but that's another story.

Life is all about stories, if my story is appealing to another person then we may become friends, to others it may be boring and go on forever, so then I'm a bore. Its how our lives connect and how social jigsaws fit together that makes us all work as friends and as work mates. Sadly there are people who put themselves above us, it can be a boss or a priest in  church or the snob selling newspapers in the street. Life is about blowing bubbles in the air that blow this way and that way, they may stick together or blow randomly all over the shop. But bubbles are a glorious thing they make us like children, happy and innocent and willing to share our sweets.  I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air is the song. But the most important thing is the range of colours, the joy, the happiness that bubbles bring, just like Shakespeare's sonnets.

If I were a Fashion Writer, what would I write

To begin with let me explain. I was trawling through the jobs sites when I came across an ad looking for all kinds of everything for a Fashion Mag, non paid I might add. So it set me thinking. I do have a Shanghai wife who sets heads turning, and I have to comment on all the fashion she wears.So after more than 10 years I have learnt a little about Fashion.

I would no doubt be called Grandpa whenever I attended a Fashion Event, I have the same white hair that the famous fashion designer has, I don't wear gloves with the fingers cut off though. Though I do have thinsulate gloves in black and in red. Just as he has two colours. My waiste line is bigger, I'm  as big as 2 models, though you would never see me in purple lipstick and covered in rouge. Fishnet tights though, that's another matter, Men in tights and Pantomime is an English tradition. Google Pantomime if you have not heard of Panto. Men dress up as women and women dress up as men, perhaps as Robin Hood. Its fun for all the family. But I was talking about fish net tights before I was side tracked. Fashion makes a very big statement. Some of the high end fashion is not really fashion. It really is a work of Art. I saw a documentary once on TV and after watching the man with the funny gloves and the white hair go about his work I realised it really was Art and not just Fashion. Now what would I do at a fashion show? I'd drink the free champagne for starters, pity they don't serve hot dogs too, then I'd be in heaven. Some of the designers destroy what they are trying to achieve by too much hideous make up. The fashion really would be better served by well dressed dummies. Smearing a  beautiful models with soot just destroys the vision. The dead eyes that you see when models walk the cat walk is terrible. Yes Fashion is King, but if the models looked happy and you could almost believe that they all  fought to get into the dress they were wearing. Then you'd say, she looks so happy wearing that you can see the joy in her eyes. Then Fashion would be better served.  

There are other designs which are truly great but they are ruined because the colour palet is so bad. Its like when you see 2009 Punk Rockers, I remember the original ones 30 years ago so today's versions are just so passe. You can go into a shop and as you look around you see 40 shades or grey or 20 shades of black. Its not even worth trying the clothes on. Ditto when you can see the clothes are for 40 or 50 somethings. Colour is Great, so USE IT, life is in Colour so lets see it in the designs.

Women are beautiful and the more intelligent 1/2 of our species, their beauty should be celebrated and enhanced by fashion. Colour and Cut matched to sympathic makeup will make women glow, and allow women to wrap men around their little finger even more. Good fashion does this and I know that when I look at my wife.

 Pax Vobiscum

 

BBC asks top writer to take course on drama

BBC asks top writer to take course on drama

Sunday, November 1, 2009, 02:00 PM GMT [General]

BBC asks top writer to take course on drama. I just read that in today's Telegraph. I'm trying to get my foot in the door in the writing game. I once posted my Internet Story  comic essay on a BBC site, where it was removed, why, because

"And help find a publisher for my book , and then you've guessed it , just send me 10 dollars !" Is the tag line for the joke at the end of the essay. But to the BBC I was soliciting money, so they removed it. If I had a Bafta and had the BBC telling me how to write , I'd slam it down on the desk of the idiot who asked me to do a test and ask them to write a thesis on "How to win a Bafta". Total BBC Idiots,

Sorry Moses you cann't part the Red Sea without Health and Safety assessment 1st. And as for that stick in your hand we will notify the Police, weapons are not allowed. As for you Gandalf, drop it now or we'll try this new mace on you, we've just imported it from USA.

Sorry no Loaves and Fishes or Water into wine either, you don't have A3 consent.

Sorry Gordon and David, those speeches have to pass the censor, and don't forget the 3pm watershed, we don't want kids home from school getting all confused, which one is the liar, is it always the one in Government or is it just the Opposition.

So the BBC has to bore everybody with fair and balance just like Fox news. Sadly I am not surprised, perhaps the stuff I write is never PC, so it will never be published or produced.  www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com

is where to find it, so judge for yourselves. My latest idea is to turn my non PC  play Shoplife into a Health and Safety piece by using reverse logic

If I were a Rich Man, though I'd settle for being able to Sing Like Topol

I wanted to write a piece to celebrate Halloween, Christopher Lee the great Dracula actor got Knighted today,  was  the spurr. However this time of year brings back a few memories to me. 1977 was a turning point in my Life. 1986 another turning point and 1999 a 3rd turning point.Why Autumn shoud be such a turning point I'll never know.The Love my father had for all of us stands out amongst these anniversaries. November was his Birthday as well, his last Birthday was his 80th, we had a gathering at my sister's house, he held his granddaughter in his arms, he'd beaten Death and had 5.5 years of extra time.

When I bought my house his advice was "Michael, buy that house" So I did. The dog  had actually found the house, he had cocked his leg and christened the gate post, and it was only then that I saw the for sale sign.

Now I dream of a bigger house for my girls, so that they can have a room to do art in, even if it is the garage. My youngest even has dreams about us living in a big white house, the one on the school run, and that we have a dog and a cat.I'd just love to have a bigger house closer to the park and the woods. That's been a dream of mine for 30 years at least, so I suppose I have brain washed my girls. Though I do miss the days when at the family home we did have a cat and a dog. One of the dogs even went to the seaside with us, even attending Mass, and delighting a blind boy by licking him all over when he bumbed into him on the beach.

I do sing If I were a Rich Man, from time to time, and then break down in pretend tears, saying why do I have girls, 3 girls, if you include the wife. They laugh as I do all the actions and become a Birmingham version of Topol, though the Jazz improvisations are all mine. Though I might add that my local priest does look like Topol and sing as well too, Life does immitate Art after all. When finally it is time for bed and I get my girls to say their prayers, they add " and please  Jesus can we have a big white house and a cat and a dog called SubWay"  

Direct and to the point, but Padre Pio used to say always ask for the big grace, so if you all excuse me for tonight, I just have to say my prayers before I go to bed, I was thinking about asking for a cat, and a dog called Subway just for the kids and maybe a big white house for us to share with the animals. It is Autumn after all and big things always happen in Autum or should I say the Fall.