Michael The Pole Dancer
Michael The Pole Dancer ©
By
Michael Casey
Well it’s 10.15pm on 21st March 2024, and it’s time to expose myself, or rather the fact that I am a Pole Dancer. I am not a Flasher, though I did once teacher a Czech friend a new English word, Flasher, as they had come as a Flasher to a party, but did not know the word. When I explained they looked through a huge English dictionary, and repeated the word.
This is old news from Easter 1998, but memories do bubble up. Now time has passed and I have two very smart and beautiful daughters, Chinese/Irish or Shanghai/Birmingham. The smaller one has taken up Pole dancing for exercise and her University subsidises it. Volley Ball and badminton were too competitive and maxed out by foreign students. So, my daughter dragged a friend along and has become a Pole dancer, or student of the POLE, as it is called by those in the know. So, my small daughter is studying Anthropology with French and a side order of Pole.
Obviously, I talk to my daughter and she explains things to me, so I thought maybe I should take up the Pole myself. So, I went into out garden and swung off the clothes dryer for a few hours, but the wind started blowing a gale, so I got trapped amongst the wires. I was found tied up and half strangled by the wires, with my knickers in disarray. I should have emptied the dryer first but I did not think of that. My own trousers were down by my ankles, as I have a rounded belly so all the activity meant my trousers slipped. At least my pants still survived, though all the buttons were open, like a cuckoo clock jammed open.
My neighbour did take photos to put on her Facebook page, she likes to boast about just how Bohemian the neighbour is, with artists and writers. Though I was in the real Bohemia Czech and nobody took photos of me attached to an air dryer in the garden. So, finally with everything frozen I was untangled under cover of darkness and allowed back into our house, before the foxes would come out and nibble me.
The sense of freedom was intoxicating, like as a child you are swung around till you are dropped and you fall over drunk like. Dizzy is children’s alcohol, or maybe that was back in the 60s, as it’s Politically Incorrect to swing your kids any more. Anyway, once back inside I thought now I had caught the bug, I would advance to the Pole. Maybe I should have just joined a Circus, be part of the Greatest Showman. I’d be the bearded lady, the size of my hernia is bigger than some women’s breasts, take my word for it. It used to be like a marble, and I waited a year for a surgeon to take a look, and he said leave it alone as it was so high up my chest, so nowhere to attach mesh to keep it in. But now, it’s as big as my fist, or some women’s breasts
I decide to use a street lamp as my Pole, and the light on it would be my illumination. I climbed on my neighbour’s car and dented it, why can’t they a 120kilo man walking on the bonnet and roof. As I leaned over and was wondering how to get further up the street light, Totoro our cat decided to help, she scratched me, next to my heart bypass scars on my legs. And Twinkle her fox friend bit my bum. So I grabbed the fox as I shot up the lamp post and twirled, the fox became a Boa and I spun and dangled it around my neck, legs and bum as it snapped at me. Madagascar is just a cartoon, you try a real fox up a lamppost, I learnt so much, and fast. It was like a crash course in Pole. My small daughter live streamed it back to her University friends.
I can twerk, so I twerked a lot too, though my weight was too much for the lamppost. It buckled and the light flickered, the neighbours came out to cheer, my knicker elastic gave way, and the knickers came down, so I flicked them off. Landing in the face of one of our new neighbours, I was the first naked man she had ever seen, she was a vicar’s daughter. And what had I taught her.
It was growing cold, and shrinkage happens, so I slid off the lamppost and wiped my sweaty body on the dented neighbour’s car. He could always set fire to it, and say it was vandals, skid marks on a roof. With that I decided to go in, and have a hot bath. That was the full extent of my swinging. I’ll have to write a story about it. I look at my watch, it’s 11.06 pm. This has been a 50min story. As I had my hot bath I left the window open to let the steam out. I mused if only I had a typist. I didn’t notice a Shy Girl called Marie, the vicar’s daughter she was looking out her bedroom window and could see me in my bath. The next day she knocked my door and handed me my knickers, oh and by the way I am a Typist, I’d. love to type for you….
plus a 2nd pole story
I finally got around to writing this
Michael Casey Pole Dancer ©
By
Michael Casey
Yes, I am a Pole Dancer, so don’t be jealous, and ladies don’t be too excited. At first it was a way of keeping fit, me all alone in the basement swinging from the pole that held up the ceiling above. It cost me nothing and it kept me fit. Then when I was in the corner shop Lilly fell over on a banana skin, I caught her and she said I was ever so strong. Where did you did you get your muscles from, I said from a sale on Amazon, Lilly laughed and hit me with her walking stick. Lilly is 89 you see, but she lies about her age and says she is 100, that way she gets free stuff. Her Pension is not enough, so by lying about her age she adds to her cupboard instead of being an old mother Hubbard.
Her granddaughter or is it great granddaugher intervened and prevented any more battering. So Louise followed me home and took a look at my bruise, she then slapped on a plaster and said grannie was right you are so full of muscles. Please tell me where you got them from. So I confessed to being a Pole dancer in the cellar, using the pole that held the ceiling up as my exercise tool.
Louise insisted on seeing my Pole. Then she said go on, do it. So I stripped to my Yfronts and my string vest and my socks and began to swing. I forgot to say Louise works in the local Primark, so she’s used to seeing people strip off and try things on. Nobody would try anything on with Louise as she trains with 7th Dan Moses at the local Judo school. So there I was swinging from my Pole. Louise was quite impressed, and she actually quite excited, it must have been the sight of my 18stones or 252 pound body moving fluidly around a Pole. Up and down and around and around. In the end it was too much for here so she went upstairs for a glass of water.
The next day she brought a friend, Mandy was her name, and they asked could the have the use of my Pole. I agreed of course. Mandy also does Judo with 7th Dan Moses, so how could I refuse. But they did make me an offer I could not refuse. They would bake for me. So I couldn’t say Bake Off to them. In fact their mince pies nearly turned my head, and went straight to my thighs, so much so I had to do an extra 10 mins before bedtime.
So it continued, I had food and drinks left on my kitchen table while down below ladies used my pole. In the end I didn’t need to go shopping as the ladies using my pole filled my cupboard. In the end it was later and later before I could do my own pole exercise routine. I’d been watching the gymnastics and had picked up a trick or two. Moulin Rouge had been on the telly again so that inspired me again.
It was so late that I had decided to do my pole routine naked and then I’d shower and go straight to bed. Only life is strange, and as I was working out on pole with the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge playing on my old cassette player, I did not notice a group of ladies sneak in. Lilly and Mandy were trying to persuade their friends that pole dancing was really good for keeping the figure trim. In fact it was nearly the entire ladies Judo team, Midlands Division. They had popped in for a quick look and I hadn’t locked the front door, so they were able to slip in. If you have that many Judo people visit you and our pole you feel safe.
The girls were amazed, and when they saw all my scars, first from my ankle bones to my naughty bits, then down my entire chest, they were overwhelmed. And it takes a lot to overwhelm a Ladies Judo expert, Midlands Division. The sight of my tight big fat buttocks, made them gasp too, ok one had to go puke in the front garden. One of them could not resist temptation and live streamed it. So I was all over the Internet, me and my fat arse, and glorious scars.
I stopped and did not know what to say, then I said the obvious, I hope somebody brings some Stella tomorrow. I’m here already, said a voice from the back. It was a beautiful girl. I meant Stella Artois I mumbled. I’ll bring the Stella Artois tomorrow said Stella. We all laughed. I walked through the crowd, Stella slapped my bum, it was just too much temptation for her.
Overnight I was an Internet sensation, and in the morning Stella brought the Stella Artois. Then she stripped and practised her pole dancing. It was only fair after all. And that is how me and Stella got together. Naked pole dancing together with Stella, Stella Artois afterwards.
