The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker: The Little Things Matter

Friday, 7 December 2018

The Little Things Matter

The Little Things Matter ©

Michael Casey

Well the Little Things do really matter, such as prepositions. I was reading something yesterday and I thought it was very badly written. Why? Because of the prepositions. Prepositions give away the writer, and yes I can hear you all say, look who’s talking. The difference is that I’m Talking, I’m not actually Writing.Yes I don’t bother with ultra correct punctuation or layout, because I’m Talking to you. I want you to hear my voice, or do I need to SHOUT?

There was a pause then as I went to bed with a bucket as I was feeling bad enough to puke, nice word, much much strong that feeling unwell, conveys far more. So it’s the next day, Friday 7^th Dec, for all of you keeping track, I’ve gone for a walk and then maybe rekindled my cold while waiting for the bus back up the hill. However Fleetwood Mac are now serenading me so I’m happy enough, and did you know that Ken from NY once told me that one of Fleetwood Mac’s mother now lives up the back of the woods, up the road from me. Do you ever think people will say I live near Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham? NO.

So where are we, the little things, like tidying as you go, which never happens if you have kids. A trail of sweet wrappers, or toast crumbs all over the counter tops, though to be honest that is me. Little things annoy and can bring such joy, no making up your over metaphors and the like. If people don’t put the top on toothpaste it really does annoy, as does a trail of dirty knickers in the bathroom. What’s your own bathroom like? Do you share it with 3 girls and a female cat, and the cat poohs in the bath too, though that’s better that on the floor.

Why do some things annoy so much, such as several 1/2 full glasses of water left lying all over the place. Though bad perfume is the thing that annoys me the most, if I were rich I’d buy really expensive perfume for my girls. It would have the bouquet I like so my nose is not offended by their rubbish. Ck1 is nice for a man or a woman, and it would be cost effective as we could all share a 200ml bottle, I know compared to Golden Balls’ perfume it is cheap, but at least it does not smell like a jock strap.

Clothes maketh the man they say, but a badly dressed man offends a women, a women would prefer to strip him naked and then dress him as she does with her Cindy Doll. A touch here and a touch there and a man is then worthy of a woman’s attention. Shaving or not shaving does make a difference, a woman won’t kiss a man who looks scruffy, who has 7 days of beard and 14 days without washing his hair, though Jeremy Corbyn our Future Prime Minister does seem to have women flock to him.

And what about the unshaven woman? Are men frighten off bit of feminine stubble on the legs and armpits. In some societies it is the norm, but back here in Birmingham my own personal taste is the smooth look.You shave me and I’ll shave you could be a nice icebreaker before bedtime. Speaking of shaving should men shave their heads like Prince Williams, or hang onto what is left of their locks, despite looking so stupid.

We all have things about us which transform us for the better or for the worse. If you look at all the photos of me you can see the Skin Head look to the Old English Sheepdog look, from the nice eyebrows to the wild professor look eyebrows. One look gets me looks from the girls, ok the over 75 girls, and the other gets people crossing the street to avoid me. So little things do really matter, like the state of your hair. As you grow older too it is important to remember to close your flies when you leave the toilet, and certainly before you leave the house. Why, well as well as frightening the ladies in the street, you may get a chill, and you cann’t rub Deep Heat on that part of your body.

All in all if you remember to look after the little things, the big things will look after themself. But you must leave the toilet seat down, and the lid too, a relationship can flounder and break all because you forgot to flush. My tip though which may save your relationship, if you do pee on the floor, don’t mop it up with your girls panties. Just blame her cat instead, but do remember does she have a cat in the first place.