Monday, 30 April 2018

The Nature of Pain

Well its 2.30am, so its Monday now, I could not settle, then my chest started to play up. So I've come downstairs for pain killers, just Paractamol, others don't mix with my heart meds. Besides I don't want to join the opioid club. So I also wait for the pain to be too much then I hunt out my paracetamol.

When the pain is too much you can barely breathe and your voice is labored and changes key. There was a documentary on radio4  about pain and this wheelchair bound actress played a tape of herself when her pain monster hit. Exactly like me, so I know I have something in common with an actress now. Apart from me wearing high heels and rouge.

It's like being buried in an avalanche and you have to dig your way out before you can continue with ordinary life, like breathing.

I've told you all this before, and some of you would me to omit the pain stories and get on with the funny stories.  i just wish I could, but pain is the cuckoo in my nest these past few years. You all must have somebody you love who suffers with pain, I'm just the fat guy on the Internet, I don't matter, I'm not your boyfriend or girlfriend, despite all the cross dressing I do. I'm not the one you take to bed either, though you would need a very strong bed, as I'm so heavy.

Just spare a thought for those you love or see in the street suffering with pain. A smile or a gesture does help. If only I could wave a magic wand or  get some billionaires to stop buying tat, and invest in pain relief.

What more can I do or say? Hopefully the pain killers will kick in, or I'm just so knackered I can fall over and get sleep in my bed, Remember I can only sleep in one position, on my right side. I used to be like a kebab, ok like a pig on a  spit and I'd rotate in bed in multiple positions. Now I'm like the man who lost his Kama Sutra and only has his front cover. I am just talking about sleep now.

So think about the loss of mobility people have through pain, even if its transitory, which can be the worst of all because of its very unpredictable nature. Which is my case, I never know from day to day, or even from hour to hour how and where pain will hit my body.

Yes, millions are worse off than me, but as I always repeatedly say to my daughters Pain Relief is the best career path. Either as a Doctor or as a Comedian and everything else in between. If we can lessen pain, then that is worth more than any gold.

So the pain killer is beginning to work and I'm really tired now as 3am approaches so I'll go to bed. I may email Amber Rudd our deposed Home Secretary, she must be in  a lot of pain right now, Politics brings pain. But at least she can wear some jazzy glasses now, let her personality and beauty out, she is an attractive woman after all. Or will me saying that bring her pain, or laughter or both?

Either way as Zebedee used to say, it's time for bed, its 3am now.




 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC







 

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