still true after all these years , a repeat

Friday 29 March 2019

The Hiss in my Head, still there 5 years later

The Hiss in  my Head (c)

By

Michael  Casey

As you know Tinnitus came visiting a few months ago,  this is a "HISS" in my ears, a bit like static or a naughty little brother, that won't go away. I've discovered that Taylor Swift helps me sleep. I put her music on and have it in the background as I try to sleep. I did try just radio, but there are far too many adverts. You can get an  App with all the radio stations so that is great, but for the purposes of SLEEP I need something special. Simon and Garfunkel works as does Fleetwood Mac.

The Music drowns the little brother, don't be tempted to do this in real life, no matter how much your patience is tempted, I'm speaking in Metaphors, rather like the Queen who talks in riddles apparently.  The hiss has to drown, the hiss has to be drown, God save the Queen. It really is bad if  you cannot sleep because of this permanent hiss in your ears. Lately even with music playing it can take hours to  get to sleep, and then I still awake like a Vampire every 2 hours, or at 7am so I can wake the girls up for school.  Yes it's a strange existence, which may explain the writing, or did you think that already?

In actual fact 90% of the writing is done on the hoof, I get the idea and go. Sometimes there is a little planning, or I think "now there's an idea for a story" such as today I've been impressed by something, so I may write about it at a later date. What? Well you'll just have to wait and see. I also met a nice lady today by the name of Janet, so maybe she'll stumble over this, and be surprised. I once was on TV talking about chips to Tony Maycock, it was 1977, and a girl I worked with was so surprised she nearly gave birth. It's Michael on Tv she screamed, she was very pregnant at the time. Where I worked at that time everybody was pregnant, all except Pauline who was really nice. Though I visited later and then she was pregnant. The "code" for the office was rather unique too, you can work that out for yourselves.

Tinnitus is not fun, it's more of a curse, now that I've had it for a while, which is too long, I really understand it. At night there  are no background noises just the static  in your head. The past few nights I've not been able to sleep at all, or so it seems. So as dawn breaks you are just so exhausted that you fall asleep. And then you have deep sleep,except that you wake up 2 hours  later, or 1 hour later. No wonder my hair is getting whiter, but still so very very soft. My daughter said tonight I look more like Einstein, so I put my tongue out, just like him in that famous photo. My GFR is 32 now, go  Google what that means. It's not good.

As we have  a good view of the stars form the new house, I open the curtains at night if it is not too  cold and stargaze. It takes my mind off the hiss and I try and spot the Plough and the W thing as the stars rotate past my bedroom window. If there  are clouds passing by at night you can almost imagine shapes and forms as they drift past and put their tongue out at me as me and my HISS lie together.

I have to charge the old devices so I have enough Noise Maskers to last the night. I have a couple of small radios with 3watt speakers, so just in case my music machines die I still have another, like relay racers of fresh horses to get the good news from Aix to Ghent. Or from wake to sleep, via music with Vampire Awakenings every 2 hours or less.

So now you understand why I need to have naps on occasion, because I'm just a useless machine that is falling apart, I'm talking about my body now. Though I'm sure some may find me ridiculously attractive, or is that just the Korean girl who works in the MORTUARY.