It's the way I camp

It's the way I Camp ©

By

Michael Casey

I was wondering what to talk about tonight, and I was almost stumped for 5 minutes, but as ever a story presented itself. Which sounds as if the stories are flashers appearing randomly to shock me and maybe you. As I write the word flasher 2 other stories come to mind, I share just one. I was on holiday once and somebody asked me what the English word for flasher was, and they did the actions, of a man opening his coat and flashing. So I told them the word and I then had to spell it for them so they could consult a huge dictionary. Then they went away laughing, though this is the edited version of the story. But at least you can see I have a dictionary or encyclopedia full of potential stories, all I need is a key word and it unlocks a story.

I was going to talk about camping, but that word in itself has various meanings. Camp is a style of humour in England, so if you say you are going camping people start to smile. And if a Gay comedian says it you laugh and you get a series of innuendo filled stories revolving around camping. If you google Around the Horne, which may be an innuendo title in itself then you will find a whole load of camp  humour. Google Kenneth Williams too, he was very funny and had a strange voice. Then you can google the Carry On films, on Utube you may even see whole films. Carry on Up the Kyber might be the funniest of all. The plot involves flashing too. I’ve included a link for all of you https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1sq604 

Ok class stop watching British Comedy from the 1960s, and read the rest of my rubbish. 90 mins later you are back with me now?

So Camping, I’ve never been camping, if I want to wear wet clothes I’ll get somebody to throw a bucket of water over me. And why would I want to rustle with fat girl thighs, or worse lard ass thighs as wearing all plastic I walk over hills and dales carrying a heavy pack on my pack. No doubt singing, pack all you troubles up in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile. Being all hot and sweaty and feeling like a boil in a bag meal. And they call this a holiday.

I saw campers and trekkers in Killarney, from the warmth of my aunt’s car as she sped past. I’d visit 3 relatives a day and be fed at each house. Meanwhile trekkers were just sweaty and steaming. I’d have fun at all my relative’s homes and then say out goodbyes and be driven home to the warmth of my aunt’s cottage and a bed. The campers sleep in a cold tent with shared toilet facilities.

Some trekkers like to smoke and if they come to Killarney they may get arrested. If it is cannabis. One trekker did just that, and got a bed for the night in Killarney jail. He tried to escape in the morning, but he did not know who the cleaner was in the jail. The cleaner was my aunt Delia, so she helped subdue the not so happy camper, when a 17.5 stone woman pushes you you feel it. So maybe if the camper had an aunt like mine none of this would have happened.

Now if I went camping I’d only go if it meant being carried in a chair through the countryside, or from one 5 star hotel to another. Then I’d have a pedicure and a massage before going to sleep in a super king size bed. I may have a tent on the floor for my cat. Other than that I think camping is not for me, at this point in my life I want to be pampered. However if any of you want to go camping then follow this link http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1sdyy5 

for Carry on Camping. Then you will discover just some of my influences.