What Kind of Words Work

What Kind Of Words Work? ©

By

Michael Casey

I’m very happy that Japan and Korea are passing by, I still live in Hope that I get international exposure and finally make a few quid for my daughters’ Future. I have my own dream too, but you’ve heard about that already, so I won’t repeat myself tonight, though it does involve a speed typist to write my follow up novel as I sit and dictate it.

It’s hard to know where to pitch my words, in the end I have to please myself and hope my readers enjoy what hits the page. Judging from the websites the words do hit the spot all over the world, so a sincere thank you to each and every one of you.

Now if you are talking to Grannie you don’t want to shock her or with her heart she’ll keel over and die. Or she may just reach for the hockey stick and beat the living daylights out of you, depending on what kind of Grannie you have. If you give her a bottle of good vodka that you’ve bought from Lech,Boris and Gregorgi then she’ll give you a toothless kiss and hold you tight as your friends laugh their socks off. You have to choose your words, so that they are kind words, and nice and gentle words, then she’ll lend you 1000 dollars or roubles or RMB or whatever kind of money you use. Then you can buy a 2^nd hand Skoda and then you are mobile, and you then have the back seat of the Skoda to make out in. Alexi being conceived on that very back seat, I should confess our first car was a Skoda Fabia, I’ll say no more than that.

Conversely your Grannie may just say Cut the C*** and Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil, and I’ll not hit you, today. My own mother used to say similar things. Remember too my mother was as strong as a horse, a blacksmith told her that once. In fact my dad said that when my mother died, he was that blacksmith. So you have to pick and chose your words to make them sound right, and suit the right audience.

If I’m talking to Korea obviously I’ll mention Kpop, because it is a very big thing, and I have watched several Kdramas, which I like so much, and yes as a man I like Korean girls, my wife was from the Shanghai after all, so my emotions look East. I also have had Japanese readers, and as a group both countries excel at what they do, so I hope eventually somebody over there uses my comic writing to help teach English with a Smile.

You also have to be respectful of their Culture and not ask for Fish and Chips, and compare negatively with their Culture. Tact in a Word. Though I should say with me What you See is What you Get. And I can see some readers smirking right now, so much to see he must be 250pounds at least. Yes I am but it’s mainly tight fat and not too much Sumo size fat, if I can say that in a complimentary way.  

So words are like advertising, you have to use pretty words or strong words as the occasion merits. An undertaker won’t say Bring Your Own Shovel to save money, though if you read The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker there is a sequence in it, which does use those words in a Black Humour way, black humour is dark humour, not Eddie Murphy humour, it has a different meaning. This is another thing I realise when I write, the Translations will/may miss some of the shades of meaning, because I’ve used a computer. If the miracle happens and I get my Word Domination, which is a pun on World Domination, then the translations will be better. Though I don’t over think anything I write, because I just write and I’m very fast.

I’ve just looked at the clock besides me and that reminded me that Words are Time Sensitive. They expire and have a best before date, just like supermarket food. A word today won’t work forever. One day Trump will be forgotten and he’ll be dust, Ashes to Ashes and Dust o Dust, If God won’t have you the Devil Must. Say Trump and nobody will know anything about him, the sooner that day comes the better, say most of the world.

Now because of what I said in the last paragraph 1/4 of USA now hate me, lets hope the other 3/4s get off the couch and vote. I could go on with more words about Politics,remember I’ve been watching it for 50 years now, yes really, I really am that old. However I hope I’ve given you a taster of the power of words, maybe you prefer just Stories, I just want my readers to smile and laugh and think too, think for yourselves, set up your own websites and have 10,000s of readers like me in over 60 Countries. But most of all I want you all to be happy and pain free, and maybe make a few quid. Or find your own speed typist and dictate your final book, and die happy and content with a smile on your face, and those are my final words, for tonight.

Lazy Pain Day

Lazy Pain Day
well the boyfriend was around today, straight As
he'll be a Dentist or a Doctor
no I don't have a boyfriend just in case you are confused

Lots of pain today, hence no new story but there's 2000+ to read here on my 3 Blogger sites, and loads on my Wordpress

On Wordpress, South Africa, Uruguay and Singapore passed by  with

Chinese, Arabic and Spanish being popular.

On Blogger  Korea, Thailand and Sweden passed by

with German, Russian and Korean being read

So you are all my far flung readers.

I sent an email to France today suggesting they used my words...

Dad and Daughter Time

Dad and Daughter Time

we went though what we need to get for my daughter before she departs for University to do Bio Chemistry

my small daughter had a list too, so we went through it

Quality Time

I also had a major pain attack, just as I was in the middle of a phone call

so I had to take oral pain killers and slap on the Movelat while trying to

continue the phone call

Some days are ok, other days its BAM just  like in BATMAN  and  the pain

monster returns, you instantly age 50 years, until the pain fades

I have had more DAD time than most dads, which is great, it's the only "bonus" of being at home, the other dubious bonus is writing so much

Unknown Regions as well as 60+ Countries reading my stuff in English and multiple computer translations is good for my ego, though it does not work as pain killer.

In fact I don't take enough pain killers as I said on the phone tonight, if I did I'd be a Zombie, so I take the pain to save my brain.

Though I'm sure Clever Dicks out there are making up their own jokes.

Stay Happy there may be a new story in the morning to add to the THOUSANDS

and maybe somebody someday may actually buy a book or all 18.

Once India realises that The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker can be read in HINDI on my Wordpress site I HOPE  they'll all enjoy an Indian character in my comedy drama story, In Search of an Indian Princess is the dramatic ending.

The story can be transposed to any nationality, for in the end it's about friends and family, just as Shakespeare is.

Are you ready India? IN HINDI The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

Just go to my wordpress and its all there ready to be  read

can you find The Indian Princess at the end

go to Wordpress and read In HINDI

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

Enjoy and Respect my  Copyright

https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/2019/08/16/hindi-indian-language-version-of-the-butcher-the-baker-and-the-undertaker-by-michael-casey-c/

Lech, Boris and Gregorgi Check it Out

Lech, Boris and Gregorgi Check it Out ©

By

Michael Casey

So your small girl is a big girl now, leaving home to go to University. I nodded trying to hold back the tears, the boys understood and put protective arms on my shoulder. She’ll miss Totoro the cat no doubt, but her little sister will send updates on the cat’s progress to her studying bigger sister. She may even miss her old dad, the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England. I began to sniffle, but the boys understood, they were Popaloffoff’s finest, they visited me often just to see how Totoro the cat was, or so they claimed. But now the family was scattering, they knew what they had to do and do it they would.

The boys left me as I looked through the photo albums of my treasure soon to be far away in a different part of the country and I wouldn’t be there to protect her. Lech, Boris and Gregorgi went to the still hidden in the woods, the Vodka wouldn’t be ready for 3 more days. More than enough time to check out my daughter’s new home and University.

As they drove their tanker down the motorway they phoned home, their wives all agreed, they had to do what they had to do. And if only they hadn’t been so spontaneously the wives could have prepared a gift. The Butcher’s Choice, a step by step guide on how to butcher pigs along with a lethal knife. They did not expect my daughter to become a Home Butcher and chef like them, however it also taught knife skills that a single girl might need in a hurry, and I don’t mean when an unexpected dinner party arrives.

When they arrived at the University town the boys sat on a bench next to a drunk, so they asked the drunk all about the city in exchange for a tiny bottle of their fresh vodka. So that’s how they got the low down on the city, ask a tramp, they know everything. So first of all they went to the local Gay bar, and had a pint of Guinness each, by way of a change. The clients all thought Christmas had come early, or the were a Strip Act. Lech, Boris and Gregorgi laughed, we’ve done that before but only at a car showroom, the memories made them smile. Sorry but certain things are only for our wives eyes only.

They explained that their friend, the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England had a pussy called Totoro, and that his daughter only got a cat 4 years ago as he promised her and her little sister a pet if he had a heart attack, or they could have a dog if he died. And now she was going to their city to Study. Is she Gay asked the clients? We don’t think so, it’s not something you ask somebody, of course she not, here’s her photo, so the boys showed my daughter’s photo. A few sighs went up, they were quickly silenced as the boys gave them a look. You see if she comes here she’ll be safe from BASTARDS, explained the boys.

They had another Guinness each, this time on the house. In exchange they handed out a Holy Picture of the Icon of Mary of Popaloffoff. If you put that in the window, she’ll know she’s safe here, the owners of the club promised they would, wiping away tears as they did so. The boys left the Jester, they were no fools, they had found the 1^st place of safety for my daughter. They did take the boys’ photo too and would place that next to the Holy Picture. Faith and Brawn, nobody would ever dare to even think of playing games there, a new symbiotic relationship.

They went around town to sandwich bars, and coffee shops explaining the situation, at each place they handed out the Holy Picture of the Holy Icon of Mary Popaloffoff. Each place took their photo too and would display it next to the Holy Picture, something was happening, Mary of Popaloffoff was doing her bit but they were doing theirs too. The boys saw themselves just as cuddly Slav Bears, from where Russia, Ukraine and Poland make love on the Map. But to a University town in England, they were strong men from the Circus. One so strong, one so tall, one so very wide, not the kind of men you see in the back streets of a small university two.

They were hungry now, so they went to Greggs only the machinery had broken and they may have to throw the food away. If we fix it, can we have free food? So a deal was done. In the East, you have to fix things, 2 metres of snow, who’s going to come and fix your plant, Father Christmas? So in one hour they fixed it. The staff were mightily impressed as were the queue of people who were all dying for what only Greggs can supply. Our Lady of Popaloffoff and the boys own photo was soon installed by the door.

This had not been their plan, they just wanted to make sure my  daughter would be safe. Now over 200 Holy Pictures of Our Lady of Popaloffoff Icon were everywhere. There was a man walking with his nose in a book, he walk straight into them, spilling hundreds of Our Lady of Popaloffoff Holy Pictures everywhere. He bent down to pick them up, then he began to cry. It was Andrew Graham Dixon the greatest Art Critic in England, and friend of Popaloffoff, the boys each gave him a bear hug and kiss on the lips, like old friends do in the East. Andrew Graham Dixon took a copy of my daughter’s photo, phone to phone transfer and  said his Italian friend had a restaurant in the town, so should she want a job he was sure he could persuade his friend.

So the lads were pleased, but now the most dangerous part was to be done. The drunk had told them about the bad side of town, so now they must confront it. They banged on the door and waited, 3 large men with Rotts appeared, the 3 men laughed at them. You are those bleeding poofs we saw in the street picking up all those rubbish leaflets up, and then kissing that bloke on the lips, bleeding poofs, just get lost or I’ll set the Rottweilers on you.

Now you never ever ever speak to a man from Popaloffoff like that, or to anybody, straight or gay or any which way. And to say that a Holy Picture of Our Lady of Popaloffoff Icon was rubbish, was just too much. Lech looked at Boris and Boris looked at Gregorgi. They cursed the bad men with the worst word you can use in the East. NAZIS. After that the Rottweilers attacked, but punch on the nose had all 3 run away like puppy dogs. NAZIS Lech, Boris and Gregorgi  again screamed. In seconds those 3 hard men were no longer hard men, they were very scared men.

All were going to ask, was that you turn this girl away if she comes to your club your place by accident, tell her to go home and put her in Mr George’s taxi, he is a nice man we met him today. But to say the Icon of Popaloffoff is rubbish, and then to set the dogs on us. That is to much. Being called Gay does not matter, one day one of our sons may say he is gay, or one of our daughters may say she is Lesbian. WE WOULD STILL LOVE THEM AS THAT IS OUR JOB TO LOVE THEM ALWAYS WHATEVER THEY ARE. We are from the East and we love our Motherlands just as we love our own mothers and daughters.  With that Lech, Boris and Gregorgi spat in the Nazis faces.

Then there were Police everywhere, they had been watching the club, and knew a knew loads more drugs must be there with 3 Rottweilers to guard everything. Lech, Boris and Gregorgi had speeded up the process. In fact there was a reward, but they insisted it went to the Drugs Rehabilitation Centre.

So that is how the boys spent their day. And yes the Chief Superintendent himself kissed the boys of the lips, much to the shock of the PCs, but he had a Russian wife, so he knew about the Culture of the East. There was one other thing to mention, inside the Holy Pictures was a tiny chip, and they would give my daughter an App, it would show her all the Safe Places, and guide her safely home, whatever the darkness.

15th August Assumption Day 2015

well the pain monster has returned, it's like having a Sumo sat on my left shoulder, I've slapped on the Movelat pain killer let's see what that can do

the side of my head feels as if it's been hit by a brick too

just so you all know

the joys of chronic random pain

a sine curve my daughter calls it

I call it  **&*(^*&*%^*^*^*  myself

Now today Israel is reading the Hebrew Translation of

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

so I hope the computer translation is good enough

I also hope that EVERYBODY EVERYWHERE in the WORLD

enjoys the story which really is about a Family,  a street of shops

I cried the day I finished it on Leap Years Day 1988 , 29 2 88

that's why the taxi driver used that code.

A year later I wanted the story on my computer so I started to copy type it, but the story just grew and ended up as 600 pages

It's all effectively just one draft, one telling

Tears for a Butcher  the sequel is semi formed in my brain, but whether or not I finally get it down on paper is another story. Life is not what you hope, it's what you get.

So without the Kpop Korean girl to sit and speed type it , it'll probably never see the light of day.

Butcher Baker Undertaker is being read all over the world in up to 7 different languages is a day. Sadly nobody buys the English yet, as the Internet is free
but there is always hope, never give up any of you.

that'll  do, the pain is too much right now

heads up for new Lech, Boris and Gregorgi story

heads up for new Lech,Boris and Gregori story

 michaelgcasey  Uncategorized  14/08/2019 0 Minutes

heads up for new Lech,Boris and Gregori story

I hadn’t even thought about it but as I brushed my teeth an idea came  to me, it’ll be a lot of fun for me, so in the morning I’ll write it  down. Tomorrow is Results Day in our house, and the idea links to what happens after the results, kind of.

I’ll say no more, but I’m looking forward to it.

the snap is from 2007 I think and it’s my 2 daughters in Shanghai at a family gathering

and now the bigger one is 18