Short stories from Birmingham readers in 162 countries so far
HEAR ME READ ALOUD
207 stories written & read by me
https://profile.typepad.com/michaelgcasey
https://michaelgcasey.typepad.com/blog/
Saturday, 1 June 2024
I got up rather than be a target for Tinnitus
I got up rather than be a target for Tinnitus
I've had breakfast and my daily meds
coughed my guts up till i choke
you have to slow down and breathe
and bend double
then the phlegm comes out
cannot seem to shake this
16 years ago when I was at Pinsent Masons
in print room, I'm no lawyer
though I'm just as smart
don't put me down or i BITE
then I had a weeks holiday and spent it
coughing up phlegm
so one of the Legals said I could have claimed a sicky
for my lost week of holidays, as I was sick
anyway I just remembered we had an Arab girl visit
a Legal student or something
What if She remembers me?
Now, she'd be very very. high powered lawyer
in her home country
obviously extremely beautiful
The Arab eyes and so on
Though most think of me as a fool, thats my shield by the way
As you all know Pad Webb said, Write a Book, so I did A Nation of Shopkeepers was the original title, but only the French would understand where the title came from, so The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker became the title. I did call myself Michael James in the spirit of having a nom de plume, another French connection. After a lodger who was like an uncle to me, but finally I became myself, and publishers still said Thank you for your pieces of Paper.
As you also know 20 years of constant listening to BBC Radio 4 was my University, along with living as part of a large family of 13+ as well as a cat and a dog, if you include lodgers. So then in 1986 I got my own house, and then thought what next? So in 1987 I started to write, scrapes of paper held together by a shoelace through the holes punched in the paper, in pencil of course. As I started in computers in 1978, yes 46 years ago, I could type, so I requisitioned the green family typewriter and started to use it. I sat on a broken backed barn chair with the typewriter perched on top o a red topped stool that dad had bought in 1973 at Digbeth Civic Hall. One of my sisters had been encouraged to learn to type, but the pull of Woolworths was greater. In fact one of my brothers taught himself Pitman and typing before I got the use of the typewriter.
Now if you count everything, from my sites not just the 20 books and book 21 Fresh Fields which I’m still compiling, there must be 3,000,000 words. I have readers all over the world, but I’m a failure in some people’s eyes as I’ve not made any money. And yes small Singapore is my greatest reader apart from USA, but Singapore refuses to be 2nd so they are marching through my site to take over. This is my main site https://butcherbakerundertaker.blogspot.com/ so Singapore that’s the target. 4600 pieces of writing on that one alone. 2 security backup Bloggers as well, and then the WordPress with translations galore https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/ and audio too if you click here https://profile.typepad.com/michaelgcasey and finally if you actually want to donate to me.
OK, let my restart the music behind me, Mylie Cyrus sings I used to be young
As if on cue. I’m still 20 in my head, so a PhD and a smile might tempt me, and you can type for me. I can offer nothing, a quadruple heart bypass and maybe dialysis by the end of the year already, so my bucket list would be 4 more half Oriental children.
You have to stay positive or you are already dead, even if the reality is heading to not the butcher’s nor the baker’s but probably the undertaker’s in the next decade.
Though my own dad in 1996 just 8 weeks after mum died in the marriage bed, he was given a week to live after a massive heart attack, but he carried on for 5.5 years and I got a family. It’s all in Padre Pio and Me. So, I’ll leave my Future up to God, and if I do have that new family, don’t say Where did he Buy Her, as some bastard did when I worked at the hotel and I had a young family 20 years ago and a Shanghai wife. No, just say God Bless Him, maybe a Singapore will discover me.
I can hear you all laughing, and puking into a bucket. Metal Trip was a Finnish Heavy Metal road comedy I saw the other night on TV, it was very funny. Maybe I dream to much, when I can actually sleep through Tinnitus. I have a whole Grammies Award ceremony in my bed every night, as I must have Music on permanently to drown the Tinnitus, and yes you can guess what would be better. And 3 to 4am is best time to conceive. I used to work the Graveyard shift at SMBC computer room, so I got home at 3am. Or maybe that’s too much information.
Writing is easy, getting paid for it is impossible. I have 55 years love of words now, and yes I’m still 20 in my head. Picasso had a child in his 90s, or is that an abstraction, but his footsteps are worth following in. I’ll finish now. I have bored some of you but talking about Putin too much these past 2 years. I’m hoping Russia rises up and removes Putin. Too many lives lost for one man’s vanity. I hope Trump goes to jail too, for he is just a Con Man. Sadly, USA has lost its honour, the GOP has become a Cult. While Ukraine bleeds because USA crossed by to the other side of the street. The Good Samaritan lost maybe forever. And all our kids the world over suffer. All these lives and all this money wasted. Mankind could be saved if it grew up and changed direction, and did not Love Money. And that is why I post pictures of myself, a Gorilla with a Rosary.
I've updated this 18th March 2022 I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ... use Google UK to find me, otherwise Posh Americans pop up I've done loads of writing, about 2,000,000 Words worth over 34years now But before I started to write, I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio. He'd be nearly 100 now if he is still alive, so say a prayer for him 54 years in love with words, and I still look so dashing. I have a picture in the attic, just like Dorian Gray I've also had an interest in Politics for 54 years with my dad heckling the tv and Politicians. I almost immediately had a hit, a play called Shoplife was accepted but not finally produced by a Theatre. The Kenneth More Theatre, so thank them for sparing you all. This was back in 1989 yes, 30 years plus ago, the play was written in 1988. So since then I'm more than good enough, as a writer. Anything else..... I also ignore those who just cannot write, pick your own candidate I tend to write Comedy as I'd rather make you laugh than cry I have written over 2000 short pieces of writing, yes 2000 " (c) by Michael Casey" If you include "chats" 3700 samples, all told, the chats do NOT go into my books when I compile them. My first book ,a full length comedy/drama is The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker You can read translations of it here on this site Up to 20 different languages/translations have been read on the same day via this site, here on Wordpress look fo Translations Galore page, and more And in over 90 Countries world wide too so you have no excuse, find your own language and read The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker or Quick Stories or any other of the books in Translation on my Wordpress This proves to me that the humour does travel I have readers in over 100 countries now, just to repeat myself From Nepal to American Samoa and all places North South East and West Or its just a hit man on the run, or whatever Unknown Region Means It may also mean that only non English Speakers like my stuff Coverage but lacking penetration as marketing folks might say I did get 21,000 readers in 3 weeks for the Polish version of In Search of an Indian Princess. which is basically the final 3 chapters of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker all by word of mouth. And 50,000 plus in Christmas week 2021 If you add up all the downloads from my Wordpress + 13,000 when somebody stole the file. I have had more copies than Boris Johnson's Churchill book distributed. Maybe 40,000 copies . Not made a penny from it, free downloads in multiple languages. Reverse Logic, if the world knows me, eventually somebody will pay me But in reality I'll be dead first, and then just 2 pennies to pay the ferryman is enough I've cut the Plaudits, you can read/decide for yourself As for my life, I was born in the shadow of a Brewery, I was a computer operator for a market research company into alcohol sales, 21 years altogether, StatsMR Call centre guy, like everybody once in their life I was also a Trainee Betting Shop Manager I was a concierge and 10 other roles at Crowne Plaza NEC Birmingham for 3 years. Spent 3 years at Pinsent Masons Law firm in Birmingham I even hid a copy of my comic novel "BBU" in the Law Library at Pinsent Masons, well just for a day.. I did a few other jobs too, working life in reverse so to speak and I was an Esol English teacher in an Islamic school, for a year, I knew I could teach. I got Excellent, Excellent and Exemplary on the external assessment, yes really And I asked them to pray for me at least once a day beside which I've had a Shanghai connection for 20 years now, including 2 bilingual daughters and being a hausfrau a long time too, I'm a great dad, as I've had lots of time with my daughters I can always make somebody talk or laugh I believe my short stories could be used to teach English, just package them up correctly or App them Or a Tale a Day from Michael, a story telling App What else, I was brawn and brains, I used to be as strong as an Ox, now I just smell like one We have a cat called Totoro, my daughters wanted a pet I said they could have a dog if I died , or a cat if I had a heart attack. A few weeks after that in Jan 2015 I had an Unplanned Quadruple Heart Bypass , it was supposed to be a triple but it ended up a Quadruple, 33% extra free so to speak. Now with an add on Hernia, the size of your fist, pushing through my bypass scar, it hurts when I laugh, so don't make me laugh I also have arthritis and other hindrances that hobble my body and give me pain galore. But my mind is free, though having read my stories you may wish I didn't bother But I'll ignore you, and carry on regardless. I do get heckled by my own Tinnitus these past 3 years+, so I have music on all night long to drown it out. I sleep with Miley, Taylor, Eric Clapton and Will Young, maybe I should buy a bigger bed, or just get a better mattress. Tinnitus is a curse, just trust me I know, each day I wake up, Tinnitus SCREAMS at me for a full hour till it calms down That's the end of the tidy version of my life To finish here's the list of my 20 books, so far:- 1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker 2.Shoplife 3.Essays and Plays 4.Blogs 2011 5.300 and Not OUT 6.Shorts 2013 7.More Shorts 2014 8.Quick Stories 9.Still Alive 2015 10.Undiscovered Words 2016 11.Still Smiling 2017 12.Altogether Now 13.New Horizons 14.14 Up 15.15 Down 16.Sweet Sixteen 17. 17 Again 18. 18 New Views 19. The Final Cut of the 19th Hole 20. 2020 Words 21. 21 Door Keys, key to the door 21 on Bingo, hence title, 53,000 words so far I write bullet point stuff mainly now as Tinnitus stops me from getting in the zone to write, story stories. (c) by Michael Casey stuff though my bullet points are better than some "writers" discuss, miaow. That's why I dream of a speed typist, so I could dictate from the sofa https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC to buy ebooks Loads of Korean and Arabic translations downloaded from my Wordpress, 1000s of them Quick Stories in Korean is a big hit. Maybe Kim in North Korea should read my books, instead of wasting his countries resources on what? Just keeping one person in power, him? Instead of joining the real world and opening a string on golf courses. That way we could get rid of Trump too. Into the sunset, as they play golf. Tears for a Butcher will be the sequel to BBU, and it too will be 600pages, however I really need a speed typist to put it down, while I sit and dictate like Barbara Cartland, and hopefully my speed typist would be impressed. we'd marry have half Korean kids, and form a Kpop band with our 4 new kids, with me as manager. And yes this is more for my bucket list, as Tinnitus keeps me awake too much, 6 months of not sleeping till dawn is really killing me Michael Casey aka the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England https://2.gravatar.com/avatar/efda2dca0de5b9269191b7c8b0102473?s=400&d=mm View more posts
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