Sunday 12 November 2023

Brand New Story 12/11/23. The Bad Lads Rosary

Brand New Story 12/11/23

maybe Texas won't like it

so I get up at 6.30 after a few hours of battling Tinnitus

I have toast and tea and let Totoro our cat out

she is an outdoor cat for sure

as is my habit I say a Rosary, always 3

and that tires me enough so I can go back to bed

and get another 2 hours of sleep

before the need to pee and the roar of Tinnitus comes and gets me

So as I was sat in the dark before Dawn arrives

I looked at myself a Gorilla with a Rosary

with a Barry White dressing gown with a hood like a Monk

and I had the story in my head almost instantly

I could not think of a good title as I finished 

not 3 but 6 Rosaries

and if you say I'm holy or pious

I'll smack you in the mouth

and now in that moment I have a title

so here is a new story, I hope I can put it down

before Tinnitus comes and gets me again

for it is tide or bad wind rising

now read on

The Bad Lads Rosary ©

By

Michael Casey


Jorge was a bad lad, a very bad lad indeed, but he and his friends did like to have a friendly card game whenever they met. They had a table in a corner all to themselves, with bottles in the centre to share, Mezcal was their poison, Tequila was for little girls as far as they were concerned.


Jorge was not very tall, but if you called him short he’d punch your teeth out, he was a sensitive man after all. He has a cousin a dentist, a real dentist, so he always dropped his cousin’s name card on the ground every time he broke somebody’s teeth. He was a charitable man after all, and yes he had sparkling teeth, a thank you from his cousin, family should look after each other after all.


Now once Jorge stumbled over a body in the mud, in all the rain he could not see where he was going, he was going to kick it as he cursed. But the body moved, so he rolled it over, maybe he could steal the wallet. As he held the empty wallet in his hand a Holy Picture, a plastic one fell out, it was San Martin de Porres and a plastic Rosary a bright red one, such as child might have. Martin was his cousins name, the dentist so Jorge decided to save the beggar in the street, instead of robbing him.


And yes the beggar in the street, was actually a young missionary priest, lost and beaten in the street. So, Jorge saved Paul from Peterborough England. He got him a room in the local whore house and said look after him, and so Paul was bandaged and fed for a month, by the local girls. While Jorge went about earning his daily bread. When Jorge returned he settled the bill, and had his fill of the girls too, before coming to see Paul in his room.


Paul said he could never repay his kindness, for Jorge had saved his life, but Jorge replied I did not save you, San Martin de Porres did, besides Martin is my cousin’s name, a dentist. It was him that came to see you, we don’t have a doctor for 100s of miles away. Paul said, all I can offer are prayers, and maybe let me wipe the slate clean by hearing your Confession. Jorge laughed till he cried, but it might make great entertainment.


So, you can wipe the slate clean? So then Jorge began, it took 2 hours and 3 bottles of Mezcal and then he was done, it was only his 2nd confession ever. Paul was absolutely horrified. Are you sorry for your sins? I am slurred Jorge, maybe I’d be a better man if I had education like my dentist cousin. Paul blessed him, your sins are forgiven, try not to sin again. And what is my penance? Paul handed him the child’s bright red Rosary. My grandmother gave me this and that’s how I became a Priest. For your Penance, an Infinity of Rosaries, every single day for the rest of your life you will say 3 Rosaries and to make sure, here is San Martin de Porres as well, as he handed him the plastic Holy Picture. 


But these are your most treasured things, said Jorge a tear in his eye, that’s why I’m giving them to you replied Paul, or should I say Fr.Paul.


Now let’s back to the card game, Jorge called for a break and took out his Rosary and began to say his penance. 5 very hard men at a table loaded with money and Mezcal, with one saying a Rosary.  Laughter rang out from others in the room, but the friends at the table took out their guns with one hand, and with their free hand they dug out battered Rosaries their Abueltitas had given them, and made them swear they would always keep in their pocket, so Abuelitas from Heaven could keep an eye on them. So, Jorge continued and his friends joined in.


As for the others in the room, they joined in too using their fingers to count off the Hail Marys. It became known as Fr.  Pauls Whores Rosary society. Now am I being disrespectful?  Or is Pray for those in need. Prayers should be said in every situation,  and Paul was like Saul a flash to the heart not on the road to Damascus, but deep in the Jungle of South America.


And that is my new story, different to what I had in my head this morning, but fundamentally the same. And take it from me Rosary works and maybe one day I’ll steal Pope Francis’s Rosary from his back trouser pocket, he should put it under his pillow like Padre Pio. And yes I’ve already started my Infinity of Rosaries, what about you?

The Bad Lads Rosary ©

By

Michael Casey


Jorge was a bad lad, a very bad lad indeed, but he and his friends did like to have a friendly card game whenever they met. They had a table in a corner all to themselves, with bottles in the centre to share, Mezcal was their poison, Tequila was for little girls as far as they were concerned.


Jorge was not very tall, but if you called him short he’d punch your teeth out, he was a sensitive man after all. He has a cousin a dentist, a real dentist, so he always dropped his cousin’s name card on the ground every time he broke somebody’s teeth. He was a charitable man after all, and yes he had sparkling teeth, a thank you from his cousin, family should look after each other after all.


Now once Jorge stumbled over a body in the mud, in all the rain he could not see where he was going, he was going to kick it as he cursed. But the body moved, so he rolled it over, maybe he could steal the wallet. As he held the empty wallet in his hand a Holy Picture, a plastic one fell out, it was San Martin de Porres and a plastic Rosary a bright red one, such as child might have. Martin was his cousins name, the dentist so Jorge decided to save the beggar in the street, instead of robbing him.


And yes the beggar in the street, was actually a young missionary priest, lost and beaten in the street. So, Jorge saved Paul from Peterborough England. He got him a room in the local whore house and said look after him, and so Paul was bandaged and fed for a month, by the local girls. While Jorge went about earning his daily bread. When Jorge returned he settled the bill, and had his fill of the girls too, before coming to see Paul in his room.


Paul said he could never repay his kindness, for Jorge had saved his life, but Jorge replied I did not save you, San Martin de Porres did, besides Martin is my cousin’s name, a dentist. It was him that came to see you, we don’t have a doctor for 100s of miles away. Paul said, all I can offer are prayers, and maybe let me wipe the slate clean by hearing your Confession. Jorge laughed till he cried, but it might make great entertainment.


So, you can wipe the slate clean? So then Jorge began, it took 2 hours and 3 bottles of Mezcal and then he was done, it was only his 2nd confession ever. Paul was absolutely horrified. Are you sorry for your sins? I am slurred Jorge, maybe I’d be a better man if I had education like my dentist cousin. Paul blessed him, your sins are forgiven, try not to sin again. And what is my penance? Paul handed him the child’s bright red Rosary. My grandmother gave me this and that’s how I became a Priest. For your Penance, an Infinity of Rosaries, every single day for the rest of your life you will say 3 Rosaries and to make sure, here is San Martin de Porres as well, as he handed him the plastic Holy Picture. 


But these are your most treasured things, said Jorge a tear in his eye, that’s why I’m giving them to you replied Paul, or should I say Fr.Paul.


Now let’s back to the card game, Jorge called for a break and took out his Rosary and began to say his penance. 5 very hard men at a table loaded with money and Mezcal, with one saying a Rosary.  Laughter rang out from others in the room, but the friends at the table took out their guns with one hand, and with their free hand they dug out battered Rosaries their Abueltitas had given them, and made them swear they would always keep in their pocket, so Abuelitas from Heaven could keep an eye on them. So, Jorge continued and his friends joined in.


As for the others in the room, they joined in too using their fingers to count off the Hail Marys. It became known as Fr.  Pauls Whores Rosary society. Now am I being disrespectful?  Or is Pray for those in need. Prayers should be said in every situation,  and Paul was like Saul a flash to the heart not on the road to Damascus, but deep in the Jungle of South America.


And that is my new story, different to what I had in my head this morning, but fundamentally the same. And take it from me Rosary works and maybe one day I’ll steal Pope Francis’s Rosary from his back trouser pocket, he should put it under his pillow like Padre Pio. And yes I’ve already started my Infinity of Rosaries, what about you?




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