A Day out, or a visit to the hospital

A Day out, or a visit to the hospital (c)

By Michael Casey

Well I had a regular check up at the hospital to see how to see how my Kidneys are

Got a taxi to the QE, its too far to walk to get the bus in the cold

So I had a Pakistani driver take me there

We got talking about cars, of all things

I was all layered up, so I needed help getting the seat belt over my bulk and hernia

I am 120kilos too, so without a seat belt I'd kill the driver if I was sent flying

Buckle UP

It used to be Clunk Click, with Jimmy Savile

you can google him for a horror story

I was early at the QE but I did have Neem in my pocket

Just in case it kicked off badly

They had 2 Annie dummies in the Foyer

So I asked was it still called Annie

The Guy running the demo with his female colleague explained

that the Annie came from a girl fished out of the river in France

a death mask, a Jane Doe

I do first aid certificate 20 years ago with an Annie dummy

and 20 years before that, 40 years ago, I had real life practice

our neighbour died on me

he was a lodger in fact,  I was still 20

Then I bought some sweets for the lady at the clinic

the one who hands out the bottle you pee into

I did take a photo of my sample to stick on the family group chat

Then you have BP and height weight

Then you see the consultant

an indian lady in a spotted dress today

Last Time I had an actual Professor, the top guy in uk, goes to Europe too

so they suffer having to put up with me

then you give blood

the male blood guy looks like Jack Black

the lady who took mine was a wonderful Ugandan lady

we shared a joke, then than was me finished

so I went and had a meal deal, which seemed expensive

but was very nice

I sat next to a guy and we got talking

how Birmingham City Councillors had wasted OUR money

and are selling off trophy assets

WE touched on Agency nurses earning the earth

If you saved on the Agency fees, there would be far more money

As we talked he revealed he was on Dialysis

So I asked what was it was like

Hopefully, I can avoid it for a few more years

but I am in the danger zone

Tinnitus, Migraines, Arhritis, CKd 20 time a day , 

Quadruple heart Bypass nearly 9 years ago

Hernia the size of your fist in middle of my chest,

 which means I cannot carry heavy stuff

and a hairy back that would put a silver back gorilla to shame

This is me, ever so sexy

So I thanked the man, and went on my way

I finished my cheese and onion crisps at the bus stop outside

I discovered a different bus home, it took 3 buses and walk to get back home

On the 2nd bus, a beautiful African girl, pushing a white guy in a wheel chair

and wearing boxing gloves

The bus filled up with school kids

So when it was time to get off I had to use my VOICE

I have worked at a Hotel so I know how to Shout

I'm fat I'm 120kilos Get out of the way for the Lady and the Chair

Don't just stand there, move 2 metres back

The beautifully dressed Jamaican bus driver had dropped the draw bridge down already

So God Bless all of them

So I toddled off down the road, tired out and holding ny hernia

Cold weather and walking and not very good for me

Outside of a shop, 3 kids had set up a charity stand

An almost 2 metre Black kid in a long coat 

with his head wrapped in a scarf like a pirate

accosted me

He said he like me shades

So I said tell me a story and you can have them

So we bantered and then I had to go

He asked did I need a drink of water

I said I was fine, I did go into Subway nearby

As for him he has my shades, But God Bless him and his charity collecting

In subway, the girl could not understand my accent]

So I sat and caught my breath after telling her to Marry

the boy coming in, looking for he attention

he used to work there, I told her to demand proper

Italian food, and go on a date with him

At a table a lady fatter than me was arguing on a phone

About a delivery

I walked down the road to my 3rd bus stop

and the bus was there and it even waited for me

The pakistani kid driving it look so smart

As if he'd stopped placing snooker on tv

to drive a bus  for people

then I walked final bit home

and that was the end of my journey and my day

SO taxi driver I hope you encourage your kids to listen to Radio 4

And Uganda lady, this is how you write

You put it down simply, and write it up

Load it up on KDP Amazon and then you have a book online

You can even add your own picture on the front

See lady Uganda it's as simple as this in front of you

Just follow your nose

20 years of Radio 4 listening first

1 year of writing to Qualify, so to speak

then 35 years of Practice

Is that 55 or 56 years

Then you can BORE. everybody and say you are a writer

Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England

20 book on Amazon now

2 to 3 million words written

And nobody wants to pay for it

But at least Singapore Loves my words especially

Maybe they are blind

If they really saw me, they would run far far away

Miss Uganda you can DO it, if I can then ANYBODY can

and yes EVERYBODY, pray for Peace Everywhere,