By
Michael Casey
Well it's Saturday afternoon now, I've sat down to talk about Alternative Medicine, but first of all let me close the window the draft will give me a chill and then I'd really need some medicine. Justin is singing with Taylor they are cross, no I don't mean cross, they are cross harmonising, it's quite off putting, I just want to talk to you all then I'll pop out to Mass, or go to the online Mass, while those two are crying a river. Totoro our cat has appeared and is staring at me, when a pussy stares even Ice Cube would melt. I've seen a couple of his films on tv recently, he's a nice boy too, very good to his mother, although with tinnitus I may have misheard the mother reference, I am getting old now, though not in spirit.
Now what is Alternative Medicine? Can you guess, am I wasting time while I steal an idea from
down the back of the sofa? Well what do you think? I just let Totoro out the back door, Justin has started to sing Mirrors so pardon me while I put the volume up to 17. Ice Cube is hanging out next to the fridge trying to regain his cool after being stared at by my pussy Totoro. But where was I, yes Alternative Medicine. I have to take meds, the doctors insist, as does the wife as long as the life insurance is valid, when it expires then that is another matter. And here in UK once you reach 60 your meds are FREE.
Life is about trying to avoid meds in the first place, and how do you do that? You get up and DANCE with Justin, or any old bloke who happens by, who will of course be so much better a dancer than Justin Trudeau, sorry I mean Justin two left legs. I don't want Canada to declare on me after all. Justin is crying in a corner now, wait. I have to dance with him now to restore his self confidence. You know an erotic dance like in Moulin Rouge, Roxanne I think it was called, go watch the film and come to me in two hours or so, but don't leave any popcorn on my carpet.
Justin is all puffed out in a corner, you try dancing with a 248 pound man in drag and having to throw the drag queen about from pillar to post. I am quietly impress by Justin, he must have been working out. Not unless the rumours are true, he's been putting stuffing in meat pies with Big Bertha from the pie factory down the Old Kent Road, you know where they have the Pie Monopoly.
If you can do the Lambeth Walk every day then you will be happier and not need any meds, it is in fact an alternative to meds. Life style is a dirty word, but Ice Cube insists he is just acting, he really does sing in a choir, but so did Elvis in Jail House Rock, or Hugh Grant in Paddington Two. If you can put on a happy face and smile, or laugh in the face of adversity then you do have a much happier life. Yes you may need a few pills, legal ones, but it's the Alternative Medicine which makes a difference to you daily life. A kiss and a hug from Mrs Douglas or Mrs McKenna on the Dudley road, now both in their 90s. A smile from Sally, or a wink from the butcher, a dirty laugh from the window cleaner high on his ladder. These are little things that lighten the spirit.
The Singh brothers battering a shop lifter with hockey sticks, you don't knock over their grandfather and steal from their store ever. The daily tick and tock or life. If you can keep your spirits raised even when things are sad and heavy, like Barry White before he smiles and lifts the roof with his voice and spirit. Then you will overcome all the pains of life, even if you do bore your readers occasionally. If anybody has any complaints me and Barry White will jump through your screen and sit on your lap and play with your hair. Would that be 600 pounds between us?
Look out the window and watch the weather, imagine that little old lady suddenly hears Justin singing and just has to dance in the street. Like the old ladies with carts dancing in The Producers. If you can use your imagination to break the chains then you are free, you are always free, your body may be old and broken but YOU and your SPIRIT is free.
This is my Alternative to Medicine, use your spirit, free and lift your mood, and even if parts of your body don't work so well at least in your imagination they do. Justin stop singing like that, he's so naughty , he could tempt the Virgin Mary, him and his strawberry bubblegum, whatever that means.
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