Rupert Murdoch in my dreams dumping Trump

Rupert Murdoch in my dreams

No not that kind of dream

He's a father of six after all

and beside I'll have 4 more kids myself

and then be a father of six too

if ever my Korean Kpop girl turns up to speed type

you have  to follow me to follow all the pathos/jokes

which is it really?

Anyway in my dream last night as Tinnitus taunted me

I thought what if  Rupert dropped Trump  from FOX

then life would be very interesting

THEN this morning it turns out one of his sons is leaving FOX

if the DM has it right

So do I have some second sight?

But a generation out

So now lets see as the tide rises to drown Donald

will people abandon him

The Senate guy from Kentucky is already hinting DUMP TRUMP

So much for Loyalty

So as the water rises and Trump gets wet

will all the rats abandon ship

Or will Trump get more and more Fascist

Can we have a Spring Time for Hitler dance routine

Mel Brooks are you writing writing it already

Or is dying as you vote the only Hope

of removing a dodgy condo salesman

who should be selling tacos from a van

love and kisses both

I know you'll never back my writing now

But in the Beginning was the Word....

It Aint half hot, mum 2929

It Aint half hot, mum ©

By Michael Casey

The title refers to a top comedy show from long ago, based on an Army Entertainers group, nowadays it would not be Politically Correct, but I’m using the title because it is just too hot, and I want to test your attitudes and tolerances. Round the Horne was a top radio show from 1965 to 1968 on the BBC, and no it’s nothing to do with sex, it did have much innuendo and Camp comedy and so forth. It was ahead of its time and the Law too. You can find it online, and you will laugh like a drain, if you don’t then maybe you should not be reading me either. I am very eclectic and have broad tastes, as well and a fat belly to prove it, though I look 25 kilos less than I am. I weigh more  than Tyson Fury but he is 11 inches taller. So don’t ever make me angry or the hulk or is it the bulk in me will show you my fists of fury, I am no Saxon, but you have been warned.

It’s aways best to amuse your reader, so hello to my reader trapped in the toilet, I can hear him banging on the bathroom door, or is it my neighbour next door, Taylor Swift is not her cup of tea, she wouldn’t even give her 8/10. One reviewer did just that, and now she’s getting death threats, come on Taylor stop dusting my high shelves and tell folks to get a life, and let her alone. None of my readers would threaten others, you did not love Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England, so die. This is ridiculous, almost as bad as Taylor Swift’s dusting skills, I only keep her on because she needs the exercise, otherwise she’d be as  fat as me. Ok, Taylor stand where the Christmas tree will be and sing your songs, and I’ll give you a left over donut, they are a bit stale, but Totoro our cat won’t eat them.

Now Taylor is ever so happy, but in between songs she has to sew some buttons on my shirt, no not because my fat belly  is so fat but because my shirts are so old. Ok, the Guinness advert is over, so Taylor can continue.

I’ll leave Taylor alone now, Beyonce is coming around later to cook for me, so I don’t want them to meet. They both think they are my only home help, it’s better to keep them both sweet. Jay Zee knows of course, Snoop Dogg told him at Bible class, they are good friends of mine. If you Google Kenny Everett you will discover video galore, from 40 years ago some of it, I still feel 20 in my head, but when I reference somebody I realise the years are going by.

I’m borrowing the style, you can also Google The Two Ronnies, if you think I’m rubbish then watch them instead, but don’t tell the Germans, which leads to Faulty Towers a John Cleese classic. Also did you know  John Cleese went to Downing College Cambridge University, my brother went there too, no, not on a school trip, or to clean the drains, he did Economics there in the  70s. Another brother went to Queens Oxford. Yes, I am just the Silly Irriot in the family, though I have a Shanghai connection, not French, which leads you to Benny Hill, and yes I’m closer to him, just size of my waist that is. I do look like a corpulent version of Dave Allen, with all my digits, but with plenty of  scars.

There’s enough Comedy Education for you, now let me open the door for Beyonce. She does bring a marching brass band with her, so they fill me garden, as she dances around the kitchen making me cake. She is so good to me I don’t deserve it, I blame her for my waistline, but she donated an old pair of her pregnancy pants to me, they wer a perfect fit. So I have my cake and eat it, while wearing the pants, or maybe there’s a message in there, like I’m PANTS, which means RUBBISH in England. Though she’s too nice to even think of that. She did show me a few dance moves too, I tried them out, but fainted. Nobody in the band wanted to revive me, but old Mrs Taylor who was visiting for the cake, no relation to Taylor Swift, she pushed her Zimmer frame to one side and locked lips with me. Even at 88 she is such a great kisser, she had 8 children you know, 32 grandchildren, as well as a pussy called Fatcat.

It took 4 members of the brass band to pull old Mrs Taylor off me, she’s been a widow of 10 years now, so any chance to lock lips is too much temptation for her. But I’m still alive and my teeth are so clean too, thanks to her. When all the baking was done and my lawn was ever so flat now, thanks to all the marching, rather like one of those Quadrangles at an Ox/Bridge college. An American tourist once asked how to you get the grass like that? Love, and 300 years of rolling was the answer, but thanks to Beyonce’s marching brass band my humble lawn can look any Oxbridge quadrangle in the  face. Everybody tucked in and as they left Beyonce reminded me that her Visual Album was streaming on Disney today. Don’t Miss It, as if I would. I’ll even give you more marks out of ten than Taylor Swift got I shouted as Jay Zee rolled up in a 2CV, he’s so humble. Well to tell the truth only a 2CV  will squeeze past the parked cars in our street.

I had a cuppa then I’d be  ready for Ellen D, she’s my 3^rd home help, she has a very strong stomach, she throws me over her shoulder like a continental soldier and carries me upstairs where she strips me naked and washes me in the bath. That’s why she needs the strong stomach. I do splash a lot too, so she wears a plastic mac, nothing else just a plastic mac, as she bathes me. I tell her  it will be good for her Humility. She practices her interview questions with me as I have a good soak. Ellen D naked apart from a plastic mac, sat on my toilet asking me hard questions, like what is my favourite colour, and do I take milk in my tea, while I’m naked in my bath. She isn’t put off by all my bypass scars either, or my very hairy left shoulder, she keeps on asking me those questions as  I splash away.  If only she were Korean, she could be my next wife, though me an Ellen do actually share  a bath. Or rather when I get out with her help, I shake myself all over her, like a buffalo shaking off the rain.  Then I get dressed, but as my water is still hot Ellen climbs in, handing me the plastic mac, so she can have a quick soak before she has to do yet another show.

Now before you go, I need to tell you none  of this really happened, apart from all of it that did actually happen. Fact and fiction combined, I do have very clean high shelves and a very flat lawn and I do blow my own trumpet. So I hope this too hot to write today story fits the bill for all  of you. I’m going to watch Hotel del Lune K drama, a hotel for ghosts. Yes I’ve fallen in love with  Lee Ji-eun …..

post 2928 on this Blogger site

post 2928 on this Blogger site

so you have loads to read

The Final Cut of the 19th Hole  which was my 19th book

is being read here

I've pruned my Amazon offerings

Though if you are a media guy there's 3 full books still there

one is an omnibus, so in fact 4 books

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

300 and Not OUT

Quick Stories  (omnibus + 40 extra stories)



click here and see for yourself

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

if you click on USA Amazon you get a different version of my bio

https://www.amazon.com/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

Meanwhile over on Wordpress Poland and Bangladesh are

both reading translations of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

In Search of an Indian Princess is the final gripping 3 chapter finale

It's very hot today so I may not give you anything new to read today

but if you search my sites there is plenty to read

So Happy Eid to my Muslim readers

and if it was you in Saudi who did not buy that football club

why not invest 1% of the price of a football club in me instead

and then I'll do what I've promised to do

It will bring the entire world much happiness

and your name will be blessed, I can stay in the shadows always

because it is cooler in every sense of the world

so once more Happy Eid everybody

Trump the Reverse Churchill

Trump the Reverse Churchill

WE all know our History

Churchill stood up to the Nazis

yes we all know about other stuff, but learn from All History

not just your favourite bits

Who invented Concentration Camps by the way

The British to beat the Boers in South Africa

But back to Trump and Churchill

Trump inherited a good economy

But he only takes Praise for Any Upside

And denies knowledge or says he is NOT responsible for any downside

Where does the BUCK stop?

Not me, I’m only a trumped up salesman

who ran away from multiple bankruptcies worth $3,000,000,000

Who hides everything via the Law

and now thinks he is a King, so he is the Law

But he is NOT, the cat is out of the bag

Everybody needs to take a day off on Election Day

and vote him OUT

Churchill saved Britain, but he was still voted OUT

So follow Britain’s lead, and vote out your would be King, who is the reverse of Churchill

Churchill went on to win Nobel Prize for Literature in 1953

Trump won’t get that ever

because he never reads let alone writes

It is time to put away foolish things and return to Nobility

Trump has trashed USA, that’s the World’s opinion

But they had to put up with the Bully with the loaded gun

Now he is naked, so vote him out

The Emperor’s clothes have all peeled away

All corruption must be washed away by a Tsunami of VOTES

In 2 years time in 2022 you can correct the new guy

But now the ship of state is sinking

Why have you allowed and put up with this FOOL for so long

Or is a Simpson episode the New Reality

*************

Political comment, I’ve watched Politics for 50 years now, but never never never

has such madness ever appeared. Trump should be made to resign 15th August

is feast of the Assumption……

Good morning Italy and Saudi

well I hope you are all well today

Italy probably heard from Don  Camillo that I was a good writer

so they are reading me, I have read all his stuff several times

Chapter 7 is called For Your Penance,

 in The Butcher The Baker  and The Undertaker

you'll even find it in Italian over on Wordpress

or even here on Blogger

so if you are priest reading me, forgive me

Forgiveness or Mercy is what we do not deserve

You can discuss that with your Saudi friends

I've updated my screen today, I was using a ten year old one

so I've spoilt myself with something newer

spoil myself before I die, because nobody else will

No, I'm still not planning on dying soon

I still pray for the Big Grace etc

But sometimes...

Anyway I've also cleared up my desk and have a new sitting position because

my screen is lower, so I've returned  to keyboard on lap look

we sit on our mother's lap and are breast fed

when we grow up, we still enjoy the breast

but it's our wives' or lovers and too much of that

leads to babies at the breast and the circle is repeated

and we are ousted from our favourite position

Life is all about positions

In queues for food

In order of seniority

In the order we reach the grave

In order of recognition

Before or after the grave

Society is different

Italy or Saudi

different but similar

Faith and Family and Love of Children

So whatever your position

just come back and read me some day

In the meantime just Pray

Any which way

it won't improve my writing

but it may make it more palatable

Stay happy wherever you are and come back soon

as Anastacia sings Don't Stop Doing it Baby behind me

A trip to the Dentist a piece from 5 years ago

A Trip to the Dentist (c)

By Michael Casey

My daughter decided that her teeth were not good enough so she had braces fitted, so now we have something to tease her about, for a few years. I told her that her uncle had a gap between his teeth, it meant you'd travel a lot, that's what grannie, my mum used to say. It's true too my brother was like a gypsie, travelling far and wide. As for my daughter, I think she's been to Shanghai 6 times now, so her gap between her teeth has proved she's an international traveller. So once the gap disappears thanks to the braces maybe I'll have to pay for less international air tickets, or grannie in Shanghai will start to visit us instead.

So as the trip to the dentist, or should I say orthodontist was on a school day I had to attend with her, which feels like a waste of my time, but they do have BBC news channel on tv in the waiting room. So I walked all the way to her school and waited in the sunshine outside. That used to be no big deal but post quadruple heart bypass with arthritis returning I have to pace myself. So I walked up the hill, then had a rest while I watched the traffic and enjoyed the pollution before heading downhill again towards the school.

Now it is a known fact that if you stay still in one position long enough you will see the whole world, a bit like how mariners navigate if you think about it. So I stood at the corner of the street waiting for my daughter to leave school, and who did I see over the road on his phone, only Mr Singh who used to own the corner shop where I used to live 30 years ago. It appears his hard work has paid off and he now lives in a £750,000 house. He is actually immortalised in The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker, but he'll have to buy a copy of the book to see if he can spot himself or his actions.

Pretty Indian girls jogged past in one direction then another, they may have even been Mr Singh's granddaughters. Then I could see a gardener walking towards me with his “napsac” on his back, and his tools strapped to his body. It was my neighbour Brian, so I said hello and explained what I was doing hanging around a street corner, looking like a well-dressed criminal casing  or should I say Caseying a house. Though I do look at www.rightmove.co.uk often, dreaming of the day I can have a bigger house in the posh area near my daughters' school.

My daughter emerged from her school, thankfully it’s in the top 1% of schools in the country, it’s a grammar school in all but name. In fact it’s so good the head has been asked to go over the field and assist the boy's school, so she's now the head of both schools. Me and my daughter had plenty of time, we could have even walked to the dentists, though I soon decided my body could not cope with that, so we sat and chatted at the bus stop. The bus sailed past as we talked, so we waited 10 minutes then the next one arrived.

My daughter told me that she discovered that her orthodontist went to her school, my daughter was also musing about being a dentist. I just told her only do it if she could hold her breath, a lifetime of having bad breath in your face, no wonder they wear masks. So while my daughter had the braces tightened I watched BBC news channel, though I did think Kwickfit might have been closer, it was similar work, spanners and so forth.

Time passed quickly, my daughter told me she'd been away 25 mins, I thought it was only 10, so I must have been enjoying myself, I just hope my daughter did too. Looking at my watch I suggested we dive into the pub on the  way back to school. They had a meal deal, two meals for  £10 I had spotted it on the outward journey. Though it turned out we'd only have time for a drink and a huge pack of crisps each. On the bus back to school/pub the driver was unique. He had curly hair and big dangly ear rings on, plus stick on nails and a bra. He was in drag. Or that may have been his normal attire.

Once in the pub I needed the toilet, I couldn't use the toilet in the church opposite the dentist as they locked them up. Toilets only available on Sundays. I was tempted to pee in the Holy Water fonts. Instead on the bus I just dared not sit down, in case the extra pressure caused me to erupt like a water font. So finding the pub toilet was like being in a haunted house going up and down and round and around, while trying to keep my legs crossed at the same time. I was relieved to say the least. Then my daughter had followed my lead, so I had to look for her too, a fool searching for a fool.

We waited to be served and the barmaid raised half an eyebrow, it was not quite like a Saint Trinians girl with Arthur Dayley, but my daughter is very tall. As time was now pressing we both had a drink and some crisps, before my daughter grabbed her school bag and dashed back to school. As for me I jumped on the next bus and went back home via Aldi, as I did need to buy some sprouts for the wife.

BRIGHT SPARK

 and see what a fine head of hair I have, should I donate to the T word

or use my hair for wigs and sell them on Amazon?