Funny Formal Letter

michaelgcasey Uncategorized 14/01/2020 3 Minutes

Funny Formal Letter

Hello India you are one of the 70 countries that reads my words.

1000s of copies of my book

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker have been downloaded from my WordPress

The book has a major Indian hero, and the finale was read by 21,000 Polish

readers in 3 weeks when I loaded the Polish to my website.

Up to 8 Languages in any day are being read via my site.

So you are getting Quality. In addition I have written 2000 short stories after 30 years.

My material is not just for the clever dicks with Phds it’s for the 12 to 120 year olds.

So have a think, and  please pass this to anybody who’ll  invested in me.

 You can read/hear 200 of my stories on my Typepad

Thanks again,

Michael Casey in Birmingham England, I’m too old to be serious

OK,  I’ll bullet point this as emails are 40% faster that way as

ACNielsen told us 20 years ago

Now I really am fat and silver haired and I wear shades, look for my horrid photo online

I have been writing  for 30 years now

I try and write humour. The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

is my egg or ouvre, whatever

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker is being read

in 8 languages via my website daily

1000s of Translations have been downloaded

70 countries surrender to my words, I’m 18 stones, so resistance is futile,

I look like George Clooney after he ate everything in the fridge

I had a play called Shoplife accepted at my 1st attempt,

but they did Rocky Horror instead

it’s a boxing film I think, but maybe I’m wrong

My stuff can and will be used to teach English via Humour

I have a Shanghai wife myself and 2 bilingual daughters

Even Totoro our cat is bilingual

I have written 1,530,000 words or so, I lost count after I took my shoes and socks off

to help with the counting. And Bezo’s corner book shop has 18 books in the altogether

I thought if Bezo stacked them near his nudist section I’d get more exposure

I hope you are smiling and don’t feel like the Harry in the family

I was the family pet myself, and when my own daughters asked for a pet

I said you can have a dog if I die, or a cat if I have a heart attack

Totoro our Ninja cat arrived soon after that  5 years ago, il y a cinq ans

just to remind you we are linguists, but the ointment is clearing it up.

I am a  story teller with 2000 stories or more, so I’m like Jeffery Archer

Only he has a Monet on the wall, and I have no money at all

If in a stupor you help me, I will donate 50% to Charity, no not the local

barmaid , but real pain relief charity, and I taught James Bond that line

where he said “everything”

Ok, thanks for your time I could have brown nosed you, but at 18 Stones

one of us would have singing that  Abba song. I’m more Benny Hill myself

but look like Dave Allen when my hair is longer. My writing style is at times

a cross between Joyce Grenfell and Ronnie Corbett monologue which would

make me Gerald Wiley their bastard son. The very word on your lips.

Cheerio Michael Casey

p.s. I always write a good p.s. but Harry’s here crying on my shoulder

NOW

dear reader this is the kind of email I send to Media companies, as I may be in the gutter

but I won’t kiss any rears, not unless she ….

This email style tests  both their patience and IF they have a sense of humour, I won’t

work with anybody who’s a piece of work, though they probably think that about me.

STAY HAPPY AND BE GOOD

Michael Casey