Sunday, 27 May 2018
3 Way Ping Pong (c) by Michael Casey from 2013 I am NOT on FB anymore now
3 Way Ping Pong©
By Michael Casey
I
have a friend, two actually, on FaceBook who inspire me, we make each
other laugh. They are in New York and have American accents I suppose,
me, I’m in Birmingham, the English one. Though in Birmingham we
pronounce it “Bermingum”, no long drawn out BirmmingggHAAM. Is the
saying a common people divided by a language? Or maybe the other way
around.
Now
E & S, I’m protecting their identities, as their children may
disapprove of them talking to strangers. Now E & S live together,
they are related, me I’m in Birmingham with a Shanghai wife and two
bilingual daughters. E & S speak and write American English, me I
read/write English English. However there can be days and I mean whole
days when all I hear is Chinese, as my wife screams to her mom in
Shanghai. Chinese people are very loud, especially over the Internet.
So
if you like E & S are my refuge. Good morning I’ll start with, as I
put my bowler hat on and open my umbrella, it’s always raining in
England after all. I may send a link from a newspaper over here, and
they reply with a link from over there. Ping replied with Pong. Now
first E may reply before S counters, it’s like having two pitchers at
the Red Socks, so occasionally I have to duck.
Now
E and S are poets and writers, E has a big vocabulary, luckily I have a
very big dictionary, and best of all the Internet makes everybody a
spelling bee, and I can find out the meaning too. Being over here she
cannot see the expression on my face when I don’t know the meaning of
her big words. While she is typing her next sentence I can run for the
dictionary and/or Wikipedia, so I can smoothly and effortlessly seem
intelligent, when it’s my turn to return service.
So
this goes on, with photos of what S has baked or made for their
breakfast. I’m putting the pounds on and that’s just by looking at S’s
photos of cakes galore. So S is a poet, writer and baker. Then splat, is
it E returning service over the cyber table tennis table? No it’s a
photo of pancakes that they are having for breakfast. I’m sure my
Internet connection is slowing down due to all the maple syrup in the
status updates.
E
will say something and I will repost as I move closer to the net, S
will make another comment distracting me from my left hand side. Then
Taiwan or Arab friends pop up with news, and I’ll comment on Esol
English lists, I’m jumping from here to there, hither to thither, now
how do I explain those two words to Esol English students.
I have a new post to share so I post it, after putting it on my own site https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/ In
nanoseconds and I’m not exaggerating E has read it, she’s an executive
editor, she reads fast. S told me once E was at the dentist and somebody
dropped a magazine and before it hit the floor E had read it.
So
this is how I use the Internet and FB too. FaceBook is a form of Ping
Pong, and Ping is an IT word after all. Ping Pong is how FaceBook works,
and don’t forget I have a Shanghai wife so I know all about Ping Pong.
Now
what about FaceBook itself? Well Facebook is a 3 ring circus, with high
wire acts, with juggling, with lion taming, and not forgetting the
clowns. And the staff? They are roadies, they set up the tent, allowing
me, E and S not to mention the 1,000,000,000 rest of you to play the
game.
Now
I know a thing or two about roadies, when I was a concierge at CPNEC we
had the Arena next door. Roadies stayed at the hotel. All of them wear
shorts and they have tattoos on their calves, it’s too hot to wear long
trousers. So I can reveal this final piece of information, Mark
Zuckerberg has tattoos on his calves. If you don’t believe me just go
ask him, does he ever roll up his trouser legs when he’s paddling at the
beach? Ping Pong.
i only use the more glamorous photos
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