So why do you want to be a DJ with Pickle 78.8

So Why do you want to be a DJ with Pickle 78.8 ? ©

By Michael Casey

Thank you for coming Mr Casey, you prefer being called Michael. Sorry but we do like titles here at Pickle 78.8, after all we have Dr, Prof, the Teacher and all many of prefixes, it impresses our vacuous listeners. So Mr Casey it’ll have to be, is that all right Mr Casey.

Its fine, you were called Mr Casey at the hotel you used to work for as there were 5 or more Michaels, were people taking the Michael or did they just like angels. Now can you tell me why you want to work for Pickle 78.8. Because people like your voice, they think you sound like a news reader. Let me hear you read the headlines from the newspaper, oh you really do sound like a newsreader. We could get you to do the news reading as well, that’d be multitasking, the owner will be impressed.

What other reasons do you have for wanting to come and work for us here at Pickle 78.8, you need a job and your wife will beat you if you don’t bring some money in. So you are a battered husband, and you actually wrote a play called Battered Husband, was it therapy for your mental anguish. No, it was a way of taking the mick about her behind her back. Our owner is female, you have heard of Moto Goto the Japanese fashion model, she just made too much money from her art house movies she decided to get into radio stations. She just loves Branston Pickle so she decided to call her radio station Pickle  in honour of it, that and the famous scene from one of her movies where she is covered in pickle.

ever heard of her, me neither but money talks and cash screams, that was a title of one of her other art house movies, she was covered in money and the wind blew. But enough about her, this is just an investment for her, for you and me Radio is our life. So tell me what you have to offer. You know how to use a turntable and promise never to get fluff on the needle. That’s laudable, but it’s all on computer now, you started on computers back in 1978, well I suppose that’ll help.

What kind of music do you like? John Denver is one of your favourites as well as Jim Reeves, a bit of Barry Manilow. You have not heard of Garage or Grunge or a bit of Techno, what about House. You always listen to Today in the House on Radio Four before the midnight news, isn’t that about politics and parliament. Ed Balls is in Strictly Come Dancing this year, so he knows how to move, so doesn’t that count for anything. Only if he wins, or Corbyn shaves his beard off.

You know we have a play list, yes 50 tracks that everybody will hear whether they like them or not, ad infinitum until we can afford to pay for another 50 tracks. WE do play Gangham Style 10 times a day too, our owner likes it so we play it. She used it in her keep fit video, so we play it. Now can you speak gibberish for hours at a time, just talking about yourself and how you nearly puked on Broad Street at the weekend, cos you are a lad a fast talking ineloquent lad. You were the leader of a school debating society, but you can pretend to be a happening lad, whatever that is.

Now are you prepared to dress up as a sumo and have embarrassing photos taken for the website, our Japanese owner insists on this. Not a problem, have we not seen images on Google of michaelgcasey, we haven’t but we will look.

ow if you are prepared to do the news reading as well then we will pay you 3 times what you used to earn when you had a proper job. Nobody talks over the news but remember to fade out and talk over all the music, that’s if we can call it music. I’m sure you’ll be a valued member of the team, if not Kenny Everett will spin in his grave.