Free
Software ©
By Michael
Casey
I don’t know
about you but I do like a bit of free software, and no I’m not talking about
ladies knickers either. I mean the programs that you can get off the Internet,
the browsers and so forth. Some are faster than others and they have better
defences from all the rubbish out there in Cyberland. An adblocker is so useful,
as is the ability to click and make something your desktop background, in my
case it’s a house from Rightmove.co.uk, I usually pick B17 with a radius of 1
mile, this is where I hope to live when my boat finally comes in, though in my
case it’s the Titanic.
Word is like
water for me being a writer, though some may choose another word beginning with
W, yes Worker as Mr Corbyn would call me, what were you thinking of? I
have Word2010 we got it from a nice
Northern Irish company, if anybody wants to give me the latest super duper
version I will be very happy, though I did get Libre Office 5 off the Internet just
in case of emergencies. You have to have another word package just in case your
own package does not work.
You can also
get photo viewing software off the Internet too such as Fuji MyFinePix Studio,
if you have kids you will no doubt have 1000s of photos of their childhood. In
the old days we all had bookshelves of photo albums, nowadays they are on a
hard drive on the computer. Behind me up a corner on the bottom shelf of the book
shelf are my own original photo albums, I even had dark hair they are so old, I
was 20, really 20. I rescued them from a plastic sack under my bed to a place
of honour at the bottom of the book shelf next to our Miele vacuum cleaner. We
did have boring vacuums but they kept on breaking so in the end we upscaled to
a Miele, though I am not allowed to use it as I am just a man.
With
software you can have fun changing people’s faces and colours, nowadays on
tablets you can do the same thing. See software is good, it makes you feel good
about yourself, I am talking about the fact I wear women’s under-ware now, what
I hear ½ of you exclaim, while the other ½ say I just threw that sentence in to
see if you were listening. Maybe I was or maybe I wasn’t, cross dressing is fun
after all, it makes my wife cross when I wear her clothes.
There is a
bad side to everything, not just cross dressing, ask Eddie Izzard, I won’t
speak to him myself. Where was I, I got lost on the page, perhaps I need some
satnav to bring my sentence structures
back to where they should be, the point. Ok I’m back to the point now,
if you download any rubbish you get a VIRUS, and that’s a right pain in the
butt. You can lose everything, such as your mind, your work, your business.
So to start
with an antivirus is a must, Avast, Avira, AVG are just three beginning with
the letter A, Microsoft has its own one too. You can get free versions as well
as full featured ones. 360Degrees is a
Chinese one, that’s super dooper but it has issues with some Microsoft
programs, you can have fun trying the software and see if it does what you want
it to.
As for
browsers Firefox is nice but so in Safari and Opera, does anybody actually use
IE or Edge. The thing about software is that it is monitoring you so that they
can sell you stuff or advertise to you. Does that make Cortana the local gossip
and spy, the little old lady at the back of the church who bitches about
everybody as she queues for Confession. You have to make up your own mind on
that.
It’s the same with email, they don’t read it,
but they scan inside it, just so they can advertise to you. Try sending a
message with the subject line of Michael Casey Birmingham Comedy Writer On
Amazon and put a few lines in the message content,
http://www.amazon.com/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1
then send it
to a few friends.
Now this is
two things, firstly you are spamming your friends telling them to buy my 10
books, that’s the joke within a joke. But it is also something which will be
scanned by your email provider and within days you’ll get messages from them
with some vague connection to me. I get messages about funerals, and life
insurance, I don’t know which order they should really be in, all because they
have scanned my emails.
So you get
free email accounts that promise never to read your mail, but they all do, of
course I would use Hillary Clinton’s server but there is no room on it, besides
which as so many emails get lost, my local butcher may lose my order for a
Christmas Turkey.
However the
good part of free email is that you can store your words of wisdom on the cloud
inside your email. So my books are in my email accounts, so if my PC gets
hacked and some days it’s so slow I think it is being used as a BodNet, anyway
my 10 books my 900,000Words plus are safe on the Cloud as a precaution. I have to check the chicken in the oven I’ll
be back.
Well my
chicken is nearly cooked, 3quid from
Aldi, bird in a bag, just cook for 1hour 40, should feed 4 with loads left
over. Free Software is like the chicken
it should feed your mind and provide amusing conversation while you consume it,
you may argue over who has the leg and who pulls the wish bone. Most important
of all scan it before you use any software, otherwise you’ll be stuffed like
the chicken. Security is Everything.
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