Bathed and Shaved and Hair wash too 13th Dec 2020

 Bathed and Shaved with hair washed too, still wearing  4 layers, so I’m not quite a sumo

A soak in the bath is always good, I have bloods tomorrow

japanese-translation-of-the-butcher-the-baker-and-the-undertakerDownload

13th Dec 2020

 Well I beat Tinnitus last night, so I got my chunks of 2 hour sleep

So I'm happy about that, though the noise and your brain not being able to stop

Is very  disturbing when Tinnitus is at it's worst

So have some kind words for any you know who have Tinnitus

I've had Tinnitus about 3 years now

Yes I'd rather it was a Roman slave girl, google Up Pompeii

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Up_Pompeii! 

I was in 1st year doing Latin with Little Caesar our Latin teacher

aka Mr Hanney when the comedy show came out

What else Oman is reading my rubbish 300 and Not OUT  in Arabic

over on my Wordpress, where all the Translations live

Though there are a few here on Blogger

Korea is still reading me so hello to them

On Wordpress there are 5 books including a million word omnibus

all in Korean, so tell your friends

Imagine somebody's bedroom with posters of Kpop stars

Then next to Yoona is my poster and one of Benny Hill or Dave Allen

I'm a cult is Korea, Gangham Style or what

Well in my dreams anyway

Our Xmas tree is nice, and did you spot the notes I hung on the tree

Because Money grows on trees

It seems my wifi problem is fixed, But I need  to watch it

My old Flasher Mac is warm, like an old fashioned smoking jacket

though any smoke at all makes me sick

I have to watch a few more Wok of Love episodes today

But only the 1st series is on my TV

Tomorrow Comets and Shooting Stars, and Full Eclipse

That's when the states vote/meet for Electoral College

So either the revolution comes and Martial Law is declared

Or  the damp patch in the bed of History goes away

Such negative vibes

yesterday I had Fr. Michael, here's the Pope in a story with Trump and Putin  too

I’m Setting Up a Band ©

By

Michael Casey

 

The Pope was cursing, he had had enough, those Heathens were just that Heathens. He just wanted a quiet life, all alone with his Rosary, maybe it was Divine Inspiration, or maybe God was playing a trick, it couldn’t be a dream it was more like a living nightmare. But this is what happened.

 

Donald Trump said he’d resign immediately if Putin did too, he did have his fingers crossed behind his back, and Fox did show his fingers. Francis, Pope Francis was watching the BBC, for the sake of his sanity, when he heard Donald Trump make yet another lie. Francis looked up at the Cross on the wall, Lord if Trump and Putin both resigned now that might be a good thing. But it’s more likely that I resign too, and what would the 3 of us do then, form a Rock Band like in the Blues Brothers.

 

Francis liked that film, especially when the Nun hits the boys with a ruler for swearing. Francis smiled, Rahm Emanuel is leaving Chicago soon, perhaps he should be our manager. There is always a Jewish manager in pop bands, Francis smiled again.

 

Now God works in mysterious ways, and as he was tending to a junkie who had just entered the Gates of Heaven, washing his feet and kissing his track marks and then putting his a white suit like a 60s band member, well God thought it would be a bit of fun. So a dream, the same dream entered Putin’s and Trump’s mind. The next day simultaneously they invited the other to Birmingham England, God loved the surreal so it just had to be Birmingham. The Press corps thought Trump was on drugs, but as they laughed, and Jon Sopal led the chorus of REALLY? The news came in that Putin had just made the same comments. In actual fact, when they checked the announcement had been made simultaneously.

 

Was Putin on drugs too, was there Collusion? Trump winged it, I had a dream last night, much better than what’s his name’s dream, yes Queen, I mean King. In the dream it said meet Putin in Birmingham. Barron my son said he’s like to look at the Pre-Raphaelites, whatever they are. He wants to meet Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades too, he’s in Birmingham. Though it’s more likely the Secret Service will just shave his head and make a wig for that loser, Jeff Bezo, that’ll teach him and his failing Washington Post.

 

I like that idea myself, but Jeff’s wig would be no match for my mane. And that’ll teach Casey to respect THE PRESIDENT, Trump reached for his phone to tweet that bit. The entire  Press Corps reached for their phones to read what he had just Twittered. Jon Sopal ran from the room laughing and in search of a fresh pair of trousers, he’d just pissed himself laughing. There was a rush for the men’s room, Trump was left alone rambling.

 

In Russia Putin said he had had a dream too, he was naked and riding a horse through woods, the trees swayed and turned into displays of watches hanging from every tree branch. It was a metaphor to remind him that as great as he looked on his horse one day his time would be up. Just as Autumn leaves fell, as the watches started to drop off Putin  realised he only had so much time, his secret heart problem would in the end kill him. So he would meet Trump in Birmingham, he knew what Pre-Raphaelites were and he’d enjoy looking at them. He might even bring an Easter egg to the museum, a jewelled one. He’d get to taste Cadburys chocolate eggs too, what more could any Russian want?

 

The Pope was asked was this Divine Intervention, he just joked was that some American singer. But in his heart Francis knew what he had to do. He must go to Birmingham and jump out of a Confessional and persuade the two of them to resign immediately. Maybe then the world would stand a chance, he would trick them by saying, if you both resign I’ll resign too, and we can form a Rock Band. He’d had a phone call from Theresa May the night before, after she’d stopped swearing he said maybe she could resign and become a lead singer in a rock band. She laughed, if you get Putin and Trump to do it, then I’ll do it. Francis got her to say it 3 times and he recorded it, Nixon learnt everything he knew about taping from his old priest after all. All Francis had to do was to sneak into Birmingham cathedral, and then pounce, he’d record everything with his bodycam and then upload it to the Web. Then both Trump and Putin would have to resign. And to keep his bargain with God so would he, and Theresa May could be the lead singer. In Paradise the junkie laughed till he cried, am I still on drugs Lord? Yes, it’s called God’s Love, the only drug worth having.

 

Francis had a problem, he couldn’t get a flight to Birmingham, everything was booked, all the world was coming to Birmingham. Luckily he had a friend with a balloon, Richard Branson was his name. Richard explained his balloon would not be fast enough, but he had a friend called Musk or something. Now this friend loved rockets, so if they strapped a rocket to the basket then they’d get there much faster than 80 days. Francis gave Musk some scented candles as a thank you.

 

Richard flew the balloon at night, and landed at the Oratory, Benedict had asked Francis to return a book of Newman’s he’d borrowed.At the Oratory Francis would catch a black taxi driven by Nanjit Tanjit, who Nanjit Tanjit, he’s a character in The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker, you’ll have to do some research. And then under cover of darkness Francis would sneak into Birmingham’s Saint Phillips’ cathedral. In the morning Trump and Putin would light a candle for Peace.

 

There were no confessionals in Saint Phillips as it was an Anglican cathedral, very small but very nice. This writer used to hide in there during his lunch break for 3 years, the Verger who looks like Jeff Bezo thought I was Holy, I was just sitting down, away from the heat of the Print Room at Pinsent Masons law firm. Francis just hid for teh night in something just as small as the Confessional, the toilet at the back of the church behind the double doors.

 

In the morning Francis all in crumbled white readied himself. The Secret Service and the FSB had checked the cathedral, so Trump and Putin were all alone, just a remote camera showing live pictures only. Francis had written “out of order” on a piece of paper so nobody had bothered to check the toilet. As they postured for the cameras Trump and Putin spoke. Well NO COLUSION, smiled Trump, yea but I still want the Presidential Suite as soon as your tower in built in Saint Petersburg. Deal done smiled Trump and they shook hands. The candles were lit and they bowed their heads. Don Camillo would have given both of them an almighty kick up the arse. Saint Petersburg, they had changed the city, the heir to Saint Peter was angry.

 

Francis jumped out and grabbed a lit candle, the pair of presidents, which is a metaphor, jumped back. We thought we saw a Ghost they exclaimed. The Holy Ghost sent me, now you both have to resign immediately and join a Rock Band, the pair of presidents, still a metaphor laughed. If Theresa May is lead singer and flashes her legs then we’ll do it. Ok we will they both joked like a pair a presidents, even more a metaphor. Francis paused, if you 2 resign then I will too, so long as Theresa May joins the band? YES YES YES they said simultaneously. Francis was uploading this to the Holy Friar website, in second the whole world heard the news. Then he played the tape of Theresa May, including the bit where she was swearing like a trooper.

 

And that is how the Golden Politicians were born. Francis too resigned on the spot. He wasn’t going to flat share the Vatican with Benedict and his piano. He was hitting the road Jack and he wouldn’t look back. In Parliament Mrs May punched the Speaker, which many had thought would happen, but Mr Bercow just smiled, our views may be at variance, but to forgive is divine, so I forgive. Mrs May had come to her senses by now so she French Kissed the life out of him by way of apology. The kiss lasted a full nine minutes, they say being Speaker is a dangerous occupation, but now History would say otherwise.

 

If you have wondered why Mr May always looks so happy and slightly bewildered behind his Biggles’ glasses well the Speaker can explain things for you. With a parting Vsign to her own back benchers Mrs May left the chamber, now the Speaker looked happy and very very bewildered behind his disordered papers. He had to order a pint of Stella Artois be brought to the Chamber to revive him.

The new band members met in an upper room, the old Waterworks Jazz club venue. They had a pint of Stella Artois each, though Pope Francis has a glass of wine too. Donald said he did not drink, but when Theresa gave him the eye he was putty in her hands. So Donald had 17 pints of Stella Artois and a packet of cheese and onion crisps. His lifetime thirst was over. Stan the caretaker tapped another barrel. Then then the new band moved to the Bell and Pump room to rehearse. Theresa now liberated was the leader of the pack, and dressed all in skin tight leather she now felt so so liberated.

 

They rehearsed all the ABBA back list, it was the one thing they all knew. Francis was a great base guitarist, and Putin just liked to stand at the keyboards, he was great, but Classical was more his forte,but everybody just loves ABBA. Put what about Donald? Well he put on a kilt and no knickers, and reached for a guitar. He knew that girls loved to sleep with rock musicians, so he had secretly learnt how to play. The servants had assumed the noise in the attic was his kids, but no, it was the Donald. He’d paid Mick and Keith a lot of money to come and teach him back in the 1970s. And he’d been practising for decades. Property he knew, but strutting with a guitar he was even better at, but nobody knew. Except a few ladies who’d signed non disclosure agreements.

 

So they played, while Rahm Emanuel their new manager made calls as only a Chicago mayor or former mayor can. He’d left Chicago safe in the hands of a Black Lesbian Mayor, now Rahm Emanuel would face his biggest test. Getting the biggest paying concert ever on the road. The Stones were  delayed so while Mick stopped prancing they could step in and seize their stage. Two Presidents, a Pope and a Prime Minister. What a line up, Rahm Emanuel decided to call them The Four Golden Peas. He rung Esther his dear friend and asked could she arrange security and the finances once he funnel them to her. Security was easy her son made military satellites, and knew many tough guys.

 

The money side of things was kind of not legit, you see all the money would be going to Charity. The first charity being  Médecins Sans Frontières, MSF or Doctors without Borders. Those bastards, the politicians had started more wars between them so they should give back something.

 

So Médecins Sans Frontières, would be first. Rahm had set himself a target, One Billion US Dollars. And to help things along, Fr.Dan was going to hear Confession with El Chapo and when he finished every cent he had stashed away would be going to Charity, real Charity not his favourite hooker called Charity.

 

Fr. Dan knew how to hear Confession, he would beat the ____ out of El Chapo while they were along in his cell. Then he would use Voodoo and put the fear of God into El Chapo, finishing with the words, God Doesn’t Love You Any More. This would break any man in 30 mins tops. Screaming for mercy El Chapo would reveal all. Then Esther would use her Russian Money Laundering Connections to launder the money, and it would end up sparkling clean in each Charity’s bank account. Besides with Putin in the band, no questions would be asked.

 

Rahm Emanuel smiled, he should have been in the real Blues Brothers but he was just too busy, though he did do one day’s work on the film. It was Rahm Emanuel who drove the car at the Neo Nazi Bastards, so they had to jump for their lives. Not a lot of people known this, Rahm is modest about his film driving career.

 

The first gig arrived. It would be at Birmingham’s NEC Arena, the one that looks like Spider landed. Rahm Emanuel smiled, Fr Dan had IMed Chapo had talked, in fact he sung like a canary, when a multi black belt Jesuit asks you a question then you answer. Fr.Dan had used Voodoo too, Chapo had peed himself in under a minute. The guards were watching the Concert live in their rest room, so Fr.Dan was left in peace to hear Confession.Rahm was too busy to count the zeros, it was 15,000,000,000 USD.

 

Esther smiled, her dear friend Mrs Murphy would be so happy, but now she was busy moving the money. In and out of Government’s own bank accounts as well, to make it all sparkling clean. Esther has her list of Charities and smiling she went about her work. Meanwhile Artist Differences had reared their ugly head. Theresa decided to let it all hang out. So she stripped naked and demanded they all did the same. Stripped back music, was different, maybe kissing Bercow had confused her. Give me your tie Donald. So Theresa wrapped his red tie down below. She was like Cher with her modesty half covered but with her behind hanging out. Then she grabbed Donald’s lapel badge to cover her left nipple and Rahm gave her his badge for the right nipple.

 

Glitter me she commanded, and then she was spray painted in glitter,the perfect Glam Rock look. The Pope stayed clothed in white, but he wore silver high heels. Donald and Putin were sprayed in glitter, Donald lost his trousers but put a kilt back on. Putin just put some very tight shorts on to highlight his accomplishments, of course he was bar chested too.

 

With that Francis started to play, And The Winner Takes it All, and Theresa May strode out and hit the stage. Overwhelming Applause. She did grab her husband and give him the kind of kiss you’d get arrested for if you did it in public. They lashed the crowd with ABBA hits, and everybody was amazed  and Donald Trump showed the world his class and more as he spun around in his kilt, knickerlass to the world. Putin stopped the show with his piano playing, he inserted a few Russian classics.There were no flies on him, and certainly no shirt required, he played his heart out. On the top of the keyboard were Cadburys cream eggs which he scoffed as the show went on.

 

Francis disappeared in smoke, like holy orders gone mad, but his Bass was unbelievable. Back home Benedict was a little jealous, he was stuck in the Vatican and soon they’d be a 3^rd Pope. When they ran out of Abba songs Putin to sing, Russian traditional songs about combine harvesters and wheat yield. But he knew nobody would understand, so he cried as he sung and as the others jammed around. It was an absolute hit, everybody in the audience was crying. Esther was laughing all the way to the bank. 40,000,000,000 USD had been stolen from locked up drugs barrons, as Fr. Dan had toured the jails. Many many charities had benefited. Even Spangle Shoes for Prisoners would get 10,000USD.

 

What more can I say. Theresa May was a Rock Chic, she wiggled and sung with all her heart. She was free from all those BASTARDS, now she could give her husband everything she had. Her husband rung Beds4Politicians and ordered a new divan set, he knew he’d be needing it. Covered in Sweat and Naked before the Audience, was the title of the Live Triple Album, Rahm certainly knew a good title. That made 100,000,000 USD for Charity. The true figures were never released to the Public nor to Governments, Esther and Rahm didn’t want too many nosey parkers into their business. They’d give the finger to those kind of people.

 

At the end of the concert Rahm gave each member of the band a crisp dollar bill. After expenses this is what you get. A dollar each, the Pope looked at the reverse. IN GOD WE TRUST. Pope Francis cried, he cried like a baby. Then he woke up, it had all been a dream. But when he woke up under his pillow was a fresh dollar bill with Love Rahm written on it.

Theresa May woke up her new divan set, Beds4Politicians, was broken,  her husband was gently smouldering, tea and crumpet for breakfast dear. I’ve had the strangest of dreams she began sitting up in bed, a crisp dollar bill with Love Rahm was under her pillow, and why had she got USA flags stuck to her nipples. And what was irritating her down below, she pulled out a red tie, her husband never wore red.

 

What of Trump and Putin? They awoke in The Plough and Harrow, they were in bed together, naked with each clasping a dollar bill signed by Rahm Emanuel. Now am I making this all up, or is this a Dream within a Dream. Donald did say at the beginning that he had a dream better than a Queens…..  

  

 

*****

perhaps I should add and they all lived happily ever after

if we spent 10% of Military budgets on Green Technologies then

we'd save the Planet......discuss

stretched photo

Father Michael S.J. from 7 years ago

 

Father Michael S.J. ©

By

Michael Casey

Michael just loved Louise to bits but sadly she did not love him , as she kept on telling

him . She was waiting for her dream man , but sadly he would never appear , so Michael had

to look elsewhere for a home for his love . So as he was beginning to learn Italian he thought

what if . What if he went to Rome , to the English College and trained for the priesthood , at

least his Italian would come in handy . Besides he just loved gossip and the confessional was

the perfect place to pick up hot juicy gossip . Then just think of it once he got back to England

and a Parish of his own he’d have a housekeeper , no more vacuum-cleaning for him, and

then he’d be invited out to people’s homes , so he’d never have to live off frozen food and a

cold life again . The more he thought about it , the more the idea appealed to him , yes he’d go

off to Rome and train for the priesthood . There was the question of sex of course , but he’d

cross that bridge when he came to it . There would always be a caring woman , even if they

didn’t actually have sex , it would be a kind of relationship of sorts , so he wouldn’t be lonely

, he was very talkative after all , he’d soon make friends of all sorts . He could be discrete

when he had to be after all .

So Michael started learning Italian , the book said put on a fake Italian accent and

mimic the tapes , he did feel a fool but if that was the way to learn then that’s what he’d do .

Good job nobody could see him as he first pretended to be the “Godfather” and then Don

Camillo . It was a sing-song kind of accent , up and down like a merry-go-round , but without

the dizzy sensation . He did four half hour lessons over the weekend , if it wasn’t fun he’d be

bored , so by using the little often method he was soon feeling comfortable with Italian .

Rome was nice , it always felt warm , well compared to Birmingham anyway .

Michael’s Italian wasn’t really needed as he was at the English College after all , but once

lessons were over he’d put some jeans on with an old tee shirt too , he ditched the shirt and tie

the first week he was there , it was just too hot . So jeans and tee shirt was his off duty

“uniform” , wandering around Rome was educational , everything seem vibrant , the accent

was funny at first , but after a month it no longer made him smile , they really did speak like

that , a sing song language , like birds twittering on trees . The prostitutes were also notable

by their beauty , if they were so pretty surely they didn’t need to sell their bodies , but it was

the oldest profession in the world , with story telling being the second oldest profession , no

doubt spilling the beans on who’d done what with whom . The girls grew to recognise Michael

, they called him a faggot at first when he turned down their offers of sex , until finally he told

them he was training for the priesthood . He was just sight-seeing , the “girls” hung out at the

popular sights , eager to pick up passing custom , so while Michael sat by the Trevi Fountain ,

and the Coliseum , and other popular places he’d see faces again and again . So soon he’d get

a nod and a wink from the girls as they waited for custom . He also saw them at early Sunday

Mass , they were still good Catholic girls after all .It was while he was sitting next to the Trevi

fountain that he met Maria , she was an Irish nun from Kerry . So Michael told her that his

family were Kerry people too , that broke the ice so they soon became firm friends . It was

very humid that night , so Maria took off her veil , only for her long red hair to come

tumbling down . Michael groaned inwardly , he just loved red hair , his lusts soon surfaced .

They went and had a few wines before saying their goodbyes, not before arranging to meet

again . So it soon became a regular feature , Maria would finish at the children’s home and

meet him at 9pm at the Trevi fountain . Soon she stopped wearing a veil , just a tee shirt and a

skirt . Michael’s lusts just grew and grew , and just when he thought they couldn’t get any

bigger they got bigger still .”You know I used to dream of meeting a red head , before I

decided to give my love to God “ he explained . “And I just love big shoulders on a man” came

the reply . Neither of them could stop themselves ,  so soon they were kissing . Several of

Michael’s prostitute friends applauded amongst the crowd ,  one even came up and gave him

the key to her flat . Michael looked at Maria and Maria looked at Michael . Inside five

minutes  they were in bed , having torn the clothes off each other . Celibacy would have to take

a back seat from now on . Maria’s tee shirt was torn in two , Michael’s was in tatters too , as

for the zip on his trousers , well that was just broken asunder . Their passions spent Michael

went through the wardrobe until he found two new tee shirts .

Making their way back to the Trevi fountain they were afraid to look each other in

the eye . Michael handed back the key to one of the girls ,  Antoinette wasn’t there but Julia

promised to return the key . “Nice tee shirts “ she said her hand in front of her mouth hiding

a smile . Michael and Maria parted ,  Maria had broken her vows , and Michael would have

broken  his if he’d had taken them yet . At least Maria wouldn’t be pregnant ,  her boyfriend

had ditched her for being infertile , so she ran away and became a nun , working with

children ,  because she couldn’t have any of her own she loved them the more . As for Michael

at least he hadn’t used a condom , so he hadn’t broken another old fashion Catholic law , so

his  conscience was at least clear on that count . As for the sex ,  well that was fantastic , though

he  wouldn’t mention it to Monsignor Ryan his tutor .

So it soon became a regular fixture  , Michael and Maria would meet by the fountain

and one of the prostitutes would hand Michael the key to her flat . The lust was up to Michael

and Maria . Eventually as the months passed the girls had a spare key made ,  so Michael

ended up with twenty keys on a big chain , he sounded like a Jailor as he walked the keys

jangling .  Rather than a priest who should have the sound of clicking as he walks ,  the sound

of rosary beads rattling . The years rolled by , the girls came to him for spiritual advice , his

only advice was use a condom , don’t catch any diseases from your clients , they are clients

and you are the client service . He also tried to remind them about the difference between love

and sex . Some of the girls did have boyfriends and husbands after all .  Sometimes selling

your body is the only answer if you have mouths to feed and bills to pay . Michael never saw

things in black and white any more , there were always shades of grey .” God is merciful “, is

what  he always said when he finished talking to the girls The time came for Michael’s

ordination ,  and Maria said the sex must stop , she was returning to England and she

wouldn’t  tell him where . Once he took his vows he must return to celibacy .  She would not

lead him astray , yes she’d broken her vows , but that was different , she wasn’t going to help

him break his . Michael couldn’t understand the logic .  He said he’d not take his vows ,  but

she insisted as did the prostitutes , he would make a good preacher and confessor , he had the

gift of listening , of not being judgemental , he would make a good priest , his mind was open .

But Maria’s legs were closed ,  and crossed . There would be no sex ,  he would just have to

accept it .  There would never be a relationship either , so he had to become a priest . If only

Louise had fallen in love with him he wouldn’t be in this predicament ,  but it was because

Louise turned him down that he had come to Rome and it was in Rome where he met Maria .

A redhead called Maria , who really did love him and fulfilled all his dreams and fantasies ,

and he hers .

God it wasn’t fair .  So Michael was ordained ,  with twenty prostitutes looking on , he

couldn’t  invite them as his personal guests , but they were there in the church looking on .

Barry and Steve had flown over from Birmingham to watch the ceremony ,  they hadn’t the

heart to tell Michael that Aston Villa were playing Roma in some football competition , that

was the real reason they were there . But the three of them got pissed together after the

ceremony ,  with Michael’s “girls” joining in the fun . So Michael was now Father Michael

S.J. ,  so soon he’d return to England and his new parish . The first thing he did was go back

to “Stats”  and say Mass for them in the production office . If they knew what he’d been up too

they’d all condemn him , all except his true friends . And if they knew the stories the carpet

tiles could tell , beneath their very feet . A lot happens on a weekend night shift in the 70s and

80s ,  the Trevi Fountain was not the only place where things happen !

So Michael was given his Parish  , it was in the Black Country just outside

Birmingham ,  it was the Parish of The Blacksmith and Singing Anvil , next to an old steel

works , it was actually called Saint Jude’s . Michael was depressed ,  he still loved Maria , he

should  have never become a priest , but there was a shortage , and they had to work till at

least 75 , that’s why late vocations were allowed . So he fervently prayed for guidance  , Saint

Jude is the patron saint of the impossible ,  so anything was possible . Then one day Mrs

Murphy came for confession ,  she was a good talker and he was a good listener , so eventually

he told her his confession . She was shocked at first but then she told him about her Patrick .

Patrick had been heartbroken when the girl of his dreams left him .  But one day when the

RSPCA came to pick up a stray dog hadn’t the RSPCA man been a woman ,  and hadn’t it

been love at first sight , even though Patrick had smelt like a poof . Patrick had smelt like a

poof because his friend Amjit had made him a curry , no ordinary curry but one called

“Calcutta Surprize” ,  because it caught you unawares . So Patrick had to shower repeatedly

because of the surprize , and he ended up smelling like a poof and when Patrick had tried to

explain to June , that was the RSPCA man’s or rather woman’s name she thought that Amjit

was his boyfriend , and not just a friend , and that “Calcutta Surprize” was some form of gay

sex act , and not a curry. Anyway Mrs Murphy’s tale had made Michael laugh  , so as there

was no more people to confess the pair went and had a cuppa in the presbytery . The long and

the short of it was that Patrick got June pregnant , and June had been saving herself . But it

was the will of God so Mrs Murphy was happy , besides Patrick was 30 and it least it proved

that he wasn’t really a poof !

The next day Maria arrived ,  Mrs Murphy knew what true love was , and she knew

Maria because she worked at the children’s home ,  you see Patrick was given a penance by

the priest for getting June pregnant before marriage , the penance was to raise money for the

children’s home . The very home where Maria had fled to , when she decided to end her

relationship with Michael , who says that life isn’t a circle . Maria rung the bell on the

presbytery door , Michael opened it and screamed with the shock . They didn’t get as far as

the bedroom , by the way you do know that all priests are given single beds to remind them

they are single , well that’s the theory anyway . No , they got as far as the stairs . Their child

was conceived on the stairs of St Jude’s presbytery . You see nothing is impossible to God , yes

he needs priests , but God believes in true love too . Michael got a job working for Patrick in

the bakery and Maria opened a sandwich shop , with Michael helping out . They went on to

have eight children , you see St Jude is emphatic , never say never ,never say impossible to St.

Jude or God for that matter,

LOVE WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY .

 

(((((((

www.michaelgcasey.wordpress.com

hope you liked it, now which am I the Priest or the Father?

I'd need a new wife and 6 more kids to copy the story.

I am a Bio-Chemist now too

 I am a Bio-Chemist now too

morning all, my daughter is back home from University

She was having a lesson in the kitchen

with Totoro our cat looking on perched in a window-sill

There was a question, and I KNEW the answer

ok, it was only one question, but my daughter gave me a thumbs up

My best friend has a PhD in Bio-Chemistry, the Shanghai wife had

a degree in it too, my nephew has a degree in it, and has now move on

to Medical Student, so my daughter studying is the 4th

The only Bio-Chem that I know I flush away every day

My K drama the Wok of Love is very good, and the female star 

is single and a Christian,  so maybe if ever she came to Birmingham

But that in itself is the stuff of Kdramas

Star Trek Discover plus my ghost busters style Kdrama is what'll keep

me happy  today

Having a few teething problems with Wifi, but hopefully they will be 

fixed in a thrice

What else,  Trump is still being a bully, so USA needs to make sure

he does not run again.

My money is on him giving Pence the  job for the Pardon

If I were Pence I'd said of course I'll pardon you

Become President Pence, then DO  NOT PARDON HIM

Revenge is best served cold

As cold as the 292,000 Covid 19 victims

Wednesday 23rd May 1979 was when I had a lodger die on me , at 3pm

So  I know about death

Meanwhile Trump lies, and plays golf

everybody back home again for christmas

 

Thursday, 10 December 2020

everybody back home again for christmas 10/12/2020

 this is me, unshaved and wearing 4 layers, or 5cm of jumpers, so I'm not quiet as fat as I look, but almost. I've stretched the photo too. I detest the picture perfect photos of writers with their chins held. What you see is what you get.

A Korean Christmas Carol from 3 years ago

 

A Korean Christmas Carol ©

By Michael Casey

Vincent was a little child in Seoul, he had been learning English at school, so the teacher decided to read a Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens to the class as Christmas was approaching. The teacher Mr Michael confessed that he had listened to it on the radio after Midnight Mass at Saint Patricks after he’d thrown snowballs at Danny Moylan. And there was another Vincent there who defended himself with his umbrella. Vincent  laughed at the mention of his name.

So Vincent  fell asleep with the Tale fresh in his head. But Vincent was worried because they had a noisy neighbour called Kim who was always letting off fireworks, one had even smashed their bedroom window. As Vincent drifted off to sleep the world news with Douglas Stewart reporting was on the BBC world service, A Christmas Carol was going to be next but Vincent fell asleep as it began.

The Ghost of Christmas past came first, this was a beautiful Korean girl smiling and singing Kpop songs. Vincent smiled in his sleep. Korea was one big happy family then. Just singing and nice dancing, no marching, just laughter, real laughter and nobody carrying notebooks in their hand.

Vincent was so happy he even chuckled in his sleep. Mr Michael his teacher was right Charles Dickens was the BEST. Well in the English language anyway. Then clouds appeared and walls and noise and stamping and unfriendly fireworks appeared. Half the land sung Kpop the other half, just marched like robots with a smile that was fixed with fear hidden in their eyes. Half had technology  and lights, the other half had no roads, no street lights just dim dim dark life.

One half had food galore and had the Korean Dream and Samsung really was king, the other just seemed sad but pretended to be happy by shouting a lot. They marched a lot too,  to stay warm as their homes were so cold. Only the army mattered, not the people not the poor, not the sick, not the uneducated, not the least of Korea’s brethren. Only the army mattered.

One half got poorer and poorer and sick and turning into skeletons and ghosts. But all the time they cheered for the Emperor in his new clothes. While the people in that half became more and more naked, building a giant Golden Ox which was the name of the nuclear missile, though some thought it was a great hotel. But really inside it was a hanger for the greatest nuclear weapon ever. And still the people in that side clapped and carried notebooks to record the Emperor’s every word. As their clothes fell off their backs and they were more and more naked.  Some even dying as they marched for their Emperor.

Vincent started to cry in his sleep, why couldn’t the Emperor just vanish like in fairy tales. The Ghost of Christmas present was a newsreader shouting and shouting, threatening and threatening. There was no hope and love in her voice, just anger. Wasn’t Christmas supposed to be about Love and Hope and a Future. Vincent screamed and sat bolt upright in his bed he was so scared, his parents came running and comforted him. Then with his head resting on his mother’s breast he fell asleep. His mother switched off the radio, why was he listening to BBC World service, he should listen to more Kpop it was Christmas after all.

Vincent slept on the Ghost of Christmas Future appeared, it was a scruffy monk with mittens, the monk showed Korea, all Korea in ruins, mushroom clouds drifting in the sky. Seoul was in ruins, millions were dead, the North was a wasteland. The Emperor was trapped in his bunker far beneath the Subway, 100s of metres underground. But even the Emperor knew his half  was destroyed  just as much as the  other half. The food would run out and the air would run out, maybe he’d last  3 months, but then he would be entombed, just like an Egyptian King. Nobody would bother to dig him out, but at least HE had felt no pain as the entire country was vaporised.

There was a knocking at his office door, a scruffy monk in mittens  appeared, the Emperor raised his gun to shoot the monk. The monk laughed, I’m dead already, 1968 was the year I went to Heaven. As for you only Hell awaits, I’ve come to show you a vision of Hell. Vincent screamed in his sleep but his mother did not come to comfort him. Vincent watched frozen as the scruffy monk in mittens placed his hand on the Emperor’s head. The Emperor screamed and convulsed in pain, he peed his pants and poohed simultaneously, then he vomited.

The scruffy monk, then said, that is  but a vision, this is what it really feels like, much much worse than being vaporised in a nuclear war. So the monk continued to hold his hand on the emperor’s head, in one second the Emperor felt an eternity of pain. Hell is the absence of God’s Love. The Emperor fell to his knees and begged for forgiveness, if only he could turn back the clock, if only, if only.  

Vincent woke up  sweating, he could not speak.  He grabbed his Rosary, Mr Michael had explained that the Rosary was Mary’s Nuclear weapons. And with the Rosary you could defeat the Devil himself. So Vincent said his Rosary and went to sleep happy and safe. The funny thing was that his radio was still on. The end of A Christmas Carol was being told.  Scrooge repents and leads a good life and knows how to Celebrate the Joy of Christmas.

 

As Vincent fell asleep a News Flash North Korean was ended all its Nuclear ambitions and Putin himself would visit on  Christmas Day to sign a deal to ship all nuclear material over the border to Russia. And how did this come about ?  The Christmas Disco in Heaven was KPop that year and the 100,000 Korean Martyrs had asked the scruffy monk to Save Korea not just for Christmas but for always.

So he really had slipped out to pay the Emperor a visit. He also visited Putin too telling him to grab his place in History before his heart attack. When Putin heard this he decided to do as the scruffy monk suggested. Though the monk did put his hand on Putin’s chest, telling him he could live till he was 100 if he retired, being President is really stressful.  The scruffy monk also paid a visit to the White House, all he said to Trump was Be Humble when Putin rings you, and then you retire immediately as after saving the world everything else is a waste of your time.

Vincent woke up and it was snowing in Seoul, church bells were ringing, Korea would be One again, as for the scruffy monk in mittens, he got back in time to hear George Michael singing the Ave Maria, Merry Christmas Korea, all and one Korea.

 

 

Old Clothes for New

 

Old Clothes for New ©

By Michael Casey

 

I haven’t written a story story in a while, so here goes. This will in fact be going into my 21^st full book, 21 Door Keys, I’ve just named it, so come back in a year and I’ll have 200 pages or so for you, or 100,000 words, but only God knows. And how did I get the idea, I had nothing seconds ago, well my small daughter sat at her desk next to mine remarked on my old Flasher Mac, that I’m wearing to keep warm. And that was a spark which will become a  story, so if you are sitting comfortably then I’m begin.

 

Gerry worked in the Charity shop, he sorted and hung all the clothes up on hangers, and tidied up after the rush. The rush mainly being Old Folks looking for a bargain, it was not like Primark with knickers discarded everywhere, or the back of the Old Hens Nest bar, where knickers also used to get discarded, but that’s another story. No Gerry was no Pacemaker, though he did have a pacemaker inside of him, so he avoided standing too close to the radio. All in all though he liked his job, 3 days a week in the warm of the shop, so he saved on heating where he lived in a Tower Block.

 

There were benefits working in the Charity shop, when old old stock was dirty he could buy it even cheaper. So all shades and fashions became his passion, he had a washing machine and knew how to use it, so he ended up, a very dedicated follower of Fashion. There was a 6^th Form nearby, and a retirement village too, so a whole variety of clothes landed at the Charity shop, Gerry mixed and matched and became not an Englishman in New York, more like a dandy from  Birmingham. George Melly, but without the belly, though he did know how to have his hat at an angle. He watched Jools Holland on tv, and learnt all the tricks, to stand with attitude and  make clothes sing, it was a music show after all.

 

So all this meant turned up at the shop looking different every day, almost gay but happier. Gay means happy by the way if you are younger that 50 you may not even know that. Trevor was Gay, he was a gay Gay, always with a smile on his face, he also did a day at Charity shop, obviously he and Gerry hit it off. Trevor was studying Fashion at the Uni down the road, and  he could ponder the world while he worked in the Charity shop, it also gave him ideas for  his fashion. He could also buy up the old old stock and transform it into something new. So two and two makes four, and don’t shut that door, because they liked the air to flow through the Charity shop. Trevor needed a model, and Garry was roped in. I should also say people thought Gerry and Trevor were an odd couple, or father and son, and  that’s how it begun.

 

Gerry could pose, he was a very good old poser, too much Later with Jools Holland ensured that. He even started to wear black eyeliner so he’d look better in the snaps and videos for Trevor’s Book of Clothes. And yes Trevor was a great designer too, and with Gerry he was a pacemaker, but the Fashion crew at Uni were a great big family so Gerry felt so happy there. He appeared in more and students Books of Clothes.

 

Things went swimmingly and he even met Miss Himmingly, who wore juicy red lipstick and fishnet tights and a beret, the beret rotated in different colours of the rainbow. But  otherwise she was Oh La La French, with a pencil tight skirt and a red leather jacket. That was her look and she didn’t give a hoot what other people thought, she was Miss Oh La La, in fact that’s what everybody called her, through her dark sunglasses.

Gerry’s life had blossomed, he was as happy as Larry, maybe even as happy as Larry Grayson, now he never had a grey day, just a gay “son”, so it was Fashion week and he was asked to join the catwalk. This meant lots of quick changes, but Miss Himmingly said it would go swimmingly, she’d stand behind the curtains and tear off his clothes to help him get ready. Almost like a scene from White Chicks. So that’s what she did, he walked the walk, and she tore the clothes off his back.  But in  the excitement and confusion, he lost his own clothes. So Miss Himmingly said he could wear he French mac and she’d give his a drive home in her 2CV. So that’s what they did.

 

On the 13^th floor, and it was a Friday, Gerry let Miss Oh La La  in, and he gave her back her mac. Now if you spend an evening ripping the clothes off a man it can be very arousing. So Miss Oh La La suggested as she had ripped his clothes off repeatedly in the name of Fashion, then he should do the same. Gerry thought it as a bit of a joke, but he complied with her wishes, until she was naked before him. The she removed his long johns. The urge was out, she had known him as a model, now she’s know him as a man. Was it wrong, on Friday 13^th to give away to gay abandon. Oh La La Miss Himmingly, she wore sunglasses to hide her heartbreak from a past love, now she’d throw them away and always be happy and gay. You see, Garry may have a pacemaker, but he knew all about rhythm, too much Jools Holland and Later no doubt.

 

Miss Himmingly asked, do you think I’m a tart? NO, said Gerry the Urge will out, and now it’s Time for both of us. Besides our  kids can all have little berets and I could grow a pencil moustache. Oh La La, and the 13^th became the 14^th and the 15^th. For three days they were at it, until Gill from StatsMR who lived next door, banged on the door and threw a bucket of ice cold water on them, steam rose.

And that’s how Gerry and his pacemaker, became a pacemaker and got a wife, yes she was 30 years younger, but Love is Love. The Charity shop closed down, but Miss Himmingly took over the lease and sold her Fashion students’ clothes in the store. They did design a nursing  bra for her, in kinky red latex, they were Fashion students after all, and actually that design was a big hit. So that’s a true love story, and  you never know when Love will comes acalling, you an shut that door now, it’s a bit chilly.