Father
Michael S.J. ©
By
Michael
Casey
Michael just
loved Louise to bits but sadly she did not love him , as she kept on telling
him . She
was waiting for her dream man , but sadly he would never appear , so Michael
had
to look
elsewhere for a home for his love . So as he was beginning to learn Italian he
thought
what if .
What if he went to Rome , to the English College and trained for the priesthood
, at
least his
Italian would come in handy . Besides he just loved gossip and the confessional
was
the perfect
place to pick up hot juicy gossip . Then just think of it once he got back to
England
and a Parish
of his own he’d have a housekeeper , no more vacuum-cleaning for him, and
then he’d be
invited out to people’s homes , so he’d never have to live off frozen food and
a
cold life
again . The more he thought about it , the more the idea appealed to him , yes
he’d go
off to Rome
and train for the priesthood . There was the question of sex of course , but
he’d
cross that
bridge when he came to it . There would always be a caring woman , even if they
didn’t
actually have sex , it would be a kind of relationship of sorts , so he
wouldn’t be lonely
, he was
very talkative after all , he’d soon make friends of all sorts . He could be
discrete
when he had
to be after all .
So Michael
started learning Italian , the book said put on a fake Italian accent and
mimic the
tapes , he did feel a fool but if that was the way to learn then that’s what
he’d do .
Good job
nobody could see him as he first pretended to be the “Godfather” and then Don
Camillo . It
was a sing-song kind of accent , up and down like a merry-go-round , but
without
the dizzy
sensation . He did four half hour lessons over the weekend , if it wasn’t fun
he’d be
bored , so
by using the little often method he was soon feeling comfortable with Italian .
Rome was
nice , it always felt warm , well compared to Birmingham anyway .
Michael’s
Italian wasn’t really needed as he was at the English College after all , but
once
lessons were
over he’d put some jeans on with an old tee shirt too , he ditched the shirt
and tie
the first
week he was there , it was just too hot . So jeans and tee shirt was his off
duty
“uniform” ,
wandering around Rome was educational , everything seem vibrant , the accent
was funny at
first , but after a month it no longer made him smile , they really did speak
like
that , a
sing song language , like birds twittering on trees . The prostitutes were also
notable
by their
beauty , if they were so pretty surely they didn’t need to sell their bodies ,
but it was
the oldest
profession in the world , with story telling being the second oldest profession
, no
doubt
spilling the beans on who’d done what with whom . The girls grew to recognise
Michael
, they
called him a faggot at first when he turned down their offers of sex , until
finally he told
them he was
training for the priesthood . He was just sight-seeing , the “girls” hung out
at the
popular
sights , eager to pick up passing custom , so while Michael sat by the Trevi
Fountain ,
and the Coliseum
, and other popular places he’d see faces again and again . So soon he’d get
a nod and a
wink from the girls as they waited for custom . He also saw them at early
Sunday
Mass , they
were still good Catholic girls after all .It was while he was sitting next to
the Trevi
fountain
that he met Maria , she was an Irish nun from Kerry . So Michael told her that
his
family were
Kerry people too , that broke the ice so they soon became firm friends . It was
very humid
that night , so Maria took off her veil , only for her long red hair to come
tumbling
down . Michael groaned inwardly , he just loved red hair , his lusts soon
surfaced .
They went
and had a few wines before saying their goodbyes, not before arranging to meet
again . So
it soon became a regular feature , Maria would finish at the children’s home
and
meet him at
9pm at the Trevi fountain . Soon she stopped wearing a veil , just a tee shirt
and a
skirt .
Michael’s lusts just grew and grew , and just when he thought they couldn’t get
any
bigger they
got bigger still .”You know I used to dream of meeting a red head , before I
decided to
give my love to God “ he explained . “And I just love big shoulders on a man”
came
the reply .
Neither of them could stop themselves , so soon they were kissing . Several of
Michael’s
prostitute friends applauded amongst the crowd , one even came up and gave him
the key to
her flat . Michael looked at Maria and Maria looked at Michael . Inside five
minutes they were in bed , having torn the clothes off
each other . Celibacy would have to take
a back seat
from now on . Maria’s tee shirt was torn in two , Michael’s was in tatters too
, as
for the zip
on his trousers , well that was just broken asunder . Their passions spent
Michael
went through
the wardrobe until he found two new tee shirts .
Making their
way back to the Trevi fountain they were afraid to look each other in
the eye .
Michael handed back the key to one of the girls , Antoinette wasn’t there but Julia
promised to
return the key . “Nice tee shirts “ she said her hand in front of her mouth
hiding
a smile .
Michael and Maria parted , Maria had
broken her vows , and Michael would have
broken his if he’d had taken them yet . At least
Maria wouldn’t be pregnant , her
boyfriend
had ditched
her for being infertile , so she ran away and became a nun , working with
children , because she couldn’t have any of her own she
loved them the more . As for Michael
at least he
hadn’t used a condom , so he hadn’t broken another old fashion Catholic law ,
so
his conscience was at least clear on that count .
As for the sex , well that was fantastic
, though
he wouldn’t mention it to Monsignor Ryan his
tutor .
So it soon
became a regular fixture , Michael and
Maria would meet by the fountain
and one of
the prostitutes would hand Michael the key to her flat . The lust was up to
Michael
and Maria .
Eventually as the months passed the girls had a spare key made , so Michael
ended up
with twenty keys on a big chain , he sounded like a Jailor as he walked the
keys
jangling . Rather than a priest who should have the sound
of clicking as he walks , the sound
of rosary
beads rattling . The years rolled by , the girls came to him for spiritual
advice , his
only advice
was use a condom , don’t catch any diseases from your clients , they are
clients
and you are
the client service . He also tried to remind them about the difference between
love
and sex .
Some of the girls did have boyfriends and husbands after all . Sometimes selling
your body is
the only answer if you have mouths to feed and bills to pay . Michael never saw
things in
black and white any more , there were always shades of grey .” God is merciful
“, is
what he always said when he finished talking to the
girls The time came for Michael’s
ordination ,
and Maria said the sex must stop , she
was returning to England and she
wouldn’t tell him where . Once he took his vows he must
return to celibacy . She would not
lead him
astray , yes she’d broken her vows , but that was different , she wasn’t going
to help
him break
his . Michael couldn’t understand the logic . He said he’d not take his vows , but
she insisted
as did the prostitutes , he would make a good preacher and confessor , he had
the
gift of
listening , of not being judgemental , he would make a good priest , his mind
was open .
But Maria’s
legs were closed , and crossed . There
would be no sex , he would just have to
accept it . There would never be a relationship either ,
so he had to become a priest . If only
Louise had
fallen in love with him he wouldn’t be in this predicament , but it was because
Louise
turned him down that he had come to Rome and it was in Rome where he met Maria
.
A redhead
called Maria , who really did love him and fulfilled all his dreams and
fantasies ,
and he hers
.
God it
wasn’t fair . So Michael was ordained , with twenty prostitutes looking on , he
couldn’t invite them as his personal guests , but they
were there in the church looking on .
Barry and
Steve had flown over from Birmingham to watch the ceremony , they hadn’t the
heart to
tell Michael that Aston Villa were playing Roma in some football competition ,
that
was the real
reason they were there . But the three of them got pissed together after the
ceremony , with Michael’s “girls” joining in the fun . So
Michael was now Father Michael
S.J. , so soon he’d return to England and his new
parish . The first thing he did was go back
to “Stats” and say Mass for them in the production office
. If they knew what he’d been up too
they’d all
condemn him , all except his true friends . And if they knew the stories the
carpet
tiles could
tell , beneath their very feet . A lot happens on a weekend night shift in the
70s and
80s , the Trevi Fountain was not the only place
where things happen !
So Michael
was given his Parish , it was in the
Black Country just outside
Birmingham ,
it was the Parish of The Blacksmith and
Singing Anvil , next to an old steel
works , it
was actually called Saint Jude’s . Michael was depressed , he still loved Maria , he
should have never become a priest , but there was a
shortage , and they had to work till at
least 75 ,
that’s why late vocations were allowed . So he fervently prayed for guidance , Saint
Jude is the
patron saint of the impossible , so
anything was possible . Then one day Mrs
Murphy came
for confession , she was a good talker
and he was a good listener , so eventually
he told her
his confession . She was shocked at first but then she told him about her
Patrick .
Patrick had
been heartbroken when the girl of his dreams left him . But one day when the
RSPCA came
to pick up a stray dog hadn’t the RSPCA man been a woman , and hadn’t it
been love at
first sight , even though Patrick had smelt like a poof . Patrick had smelt
like a
poof because
his friend Amjit had made him a curry , no ordinary curry but one called
“Calcutta
Surprize” , because it caught you
unawares . So Patrick had to shower repeatedly
because of
the surprize , and he ended up smelling like a poof and when Patrick had tried
to
explain to
June , that was the RSPCA man’s or rather woman’s name she thought that Amjit
was his
boyfriend , and not just a friend , and that “Calcutta Surprize” was some form
of gay
sex act ,
and not a curry. Anyway Mrs Murphy’s tale had made Michael laugh , so as there
was no more
people to confess the pair went and had a cuppa in the presbytery . The long
and
the short of
it was that Patrick got June pregnant , and June had been saving herself . But
it
was the will
of God so Mrs Murphy was happy , besides Patrick was 30 and it least it proved
that he
wasn’t really a poof !
The next day
Maria arrived , Mrs Murphy knew what
true love was , and she knew
Maria
because she worked at the children’s home , you see Patrick was given a penance by
the priest
for getting June pregnant before marriage , the penance was to raise money for
the
children’s
home . The very home where Maria had fled to , when she decided to end her
relationship
with Michael , who says that life isn’t a circle . Maria rung the bell on the
presbytery
door , Michael opened it and screamed with the shock . They didn’t get as far
as
the bedroom
, by the way you do know that all priests are given single beds to remind them
they are
single , well that’s the theory anyway . No , they got as far as the stairs .
Their child
was
conceived on the stairs of St Jude’s presbytery . You see nothing is impossible
to God , yes
he needs
priests , but God believes in true love too . Michael got a job working for
Patrick in
the bakery
and Maria opened a sandwich shop , with Michael helping out . They went on to
have eight
children , you see St Jude is emphatic , never say never ,never say impossible
to St.
Jude or God
for that matter,
LOVE WILL
ALWAYS FIND A WAY .
(((((((
www.michaelgcasey.wordpress.com
hope you liked it, now which am I the Priest or the Father?
I'd need a new wife and 6 more kids to copy the story.
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