A
Korean Christmas Carol ©
By
Michael Casey
Vincent
was a little child in Seoul, he had been learning English at school, so the
teacher decided to read a Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens to the class as
Christmas was approaching. The teacher Mr Michael confessed that he had
listened to it on the radio after Midnight Mass at Saint Patricks after he’d
thrown snowballs at Danny Moylan. And there was another Vincent there who
defended himself with his umbrella. Vincent
laughed at the mention of his name.
So
Vincent fell asleep with the Tale fresh
in his head. But Vincent was worried because they had a noisy neighbour called
Kim who was always letting off fireworks, one had even smashed their bedroom
window. As Vincent drifted off to sleep the world news with Douglas Stewart
reporting was on the BBC world service, A Christmas Carol was going to be next
but Vincent fell asleep as it began.
The
Ghost of Christmas past came first, this was a beautiful Korean girl smiling
and singing Kpop songs. Vincent smiled in his sleep. Korea was one big happy
family then. Just singing and nice dancing, no marching, just laughter, real
laughter and nobody carrying notebooks in their hand.
Vincent
was so happy he even chuckled in his sleep. Mr Michael his teacher was right
Charles Dickens was the BEST. Well in the English language anyway. Then clouds
appeared and walls and noise and stamping and unfriendly fireworks appeared.
Half the land sung Kpop the other half, just marched like robots with a smile
that was fixed with fear hidden in their eyes. Half had technology and lights, the other half had no roads, no
street lights just dim dim dark life.
One
half had food galore and had the Korean Dream and Samsung really was king, the
other just seemed sad but pretended to be happy by shouting a lot. They marched
a lot too, to stay warm as their homes
were so cold. Only the army mattered, not the people not the poor, not the
sick, not the uneducated, not the least of Korea’s brethren. Only the army
mattered.
One
half got poorer and poorer and sick and turning into skeletons and ghosts. But
all the time they cheered for the Emperor in his new clothes. While the people
in that half became more and more naked, building a giant Golden Ox which was
the name of the nuclear missile, though some thought it was a great hotel. But
really inside it was a hanger for the greatest nuclear weapon ever. And still
the people in that side clapped and carried notebooks to record the Emperor’s
every word. As their clothes fell off their backs and they were more and more
naked. Some even dying as they marched
for their Emperor.
Vincent
started to cry in his sleep, why couldn’t the Emperor just vanish like in fairy
tales. The Ghost of Christmas present was a newsreader shouting and shouting,
threatening and threatening. There was no hope and love in her voice, just
anger. Wasn’t Christmas supposed to be about Love and Hope and a Future.
Vincent screamed and sat bolt upright in his bed he was so scared, his parents
came running and comforted him. Then with his head resting on his mother’s
breast he fell asleep. His mother switched off the radio, why was he listening
to BBC World service, he should listen to more Kpop it was Christmas after all.
Vincent
slept on the Ghost of Christmas Future appeared, it was a scruffy monk with
mittens, the monk showed Korea, all Korea in ruins, mushroom clouds drifting in
the sky. Seoul was in ruins, millions were dead, the North was a wasteland. The
Emperor was trapped in his bunker far beneath the Subway, 100s of metres
underground. But even the Emperor knew his half
was destroyed just as much as
the other half. The food would run out
and the air would run out, maybe he’d last
3 months, but then he would be entombed, just like an Egyptian King.
Nobody would bother to dig him out, but at least HE had felt no pain as the
entire country was vaporised.
There
was a knocking at his office door, a scruffy monk in mittens appeared, the Emperor raised his gun to shoot
the monk. The monk laughed, I’m dead already, 1968 was the year I went to
Heaven. As for you only Hell awaits, I’ve come to show you a vision of Hell.
Vincent screamed in his sleep but his mother did not come to comfort him.
Vincent watched frozen as the scruffy monk in mittens placed his hand on the
Emperor’s head. The Emperor screamed and convulsed in pain, he peed his pants
and poohed simultaneously, then he vomited.
The
scruffy monk, then said, that is but a
vision, this is what it really feels like, much much worse than being vaporised
in a nuclear war. So the monk continued to hold his hand on the emperor’s head,
in one second the Emperor felt an eternity of pain. Hell is the absence of
God’s Love. The Emperor fell to his knees and begged for forgiveness, if only
he could turn back the clock, if only, if only.
Vincent
woke up sweating, he could not
speak. He grabbed his Rosary, Mr Michael
had explained that the Rosary was Mary’s Nuclear weapons. And with the Rosary
you could defeat the Devil himself. So Vincent said his Rosary and went to
sleep happy and safe. The funny thing was that his radio was still on. The end
of A Christmas Carol was being told.
Scrooge repents and leads a good life and knows how to Celebrate the Joy
of Christmas.
As
Vincent fell asleep a News Flash North Korean was ended all its Nuclear
ambitions and Putin himself would visit on
Christmas Day to sign a deal to ship all nuclear material over the
border to Russia. And how did this come about ?
The Christmas Disco in Heaven was KPop that year and the 100,000 Korean
Martyrs had asked the scruffy monk to Save Korea not just for Christmas but for
always.
So
he really had slipped out to pay the Emperor a visit. He also visited Putin too
telling him to grab his place in History before his heart attack. When Putin
heard this he decided to do as the scruffy monk suggested. Though the monk did
put his hand on Putin’s chest, telling him he could live till he was 100 if he
retired, being President is really stressful.
The scruffy monk also paid a visit to the White House, all he said to
Trump was Be Humble when Putin rings you, and then you retire immediately as
after saving the world everything else is a waste of your time.
Vincent
woke up and it was snowing in Seoul, church bells were ringing, Korea would be
One again, as for the scruffy monk in mittens, he got back in time to hear
George Michael singing the Ave Maria, Merry Christmas Korea, all and one Korea.
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