The New Cat in Totoro

The New Cat in Totoro ©

By

Michael Casey

So we have finally moved house, Totoro came with us, she was scared for a day, just one day, she is a Ninja cat after all with a Japanese name, though Chinese and English and the sound of plastic opening are the sounds she responds to. Then was off out inspecting her Land, she must has Kerry blood in her somewhere, this Writer’s family are Kerry people after all. As they say there is so much land in Kerry they pile it up, and now we live much higher up the hill, and near the woods, whatever 40 hectares are, Councils forget we the people still  think in Pounds Shillings and Pence not Metric.

So Totoro investigated the Land, her land. She also knows the sounds of keys jangling, so just jangle the keys and soon you’ll hear the sounds of high fences rattling and she storms home. Otherwise she has a lot more places to go and people to steal affection from, she makes the cat  from Shrek look like a tramp, a real tramp, she is the real deal, and multilingual too. MIAOOOW. A quick shout of Totoro Le Le also brings her home. Then she maiows the words MILK, she’s not stupid, she studied CATulus at night school, what do you think the sounds were every night? Cat on a hot tin roof?

Totoro did come home with a scratched nose one day, maybe putting the local foxes in their place. A fox is a very long thing, I saw one here jump over the garden fence into the next garden at 3am. I did actually see 3 foxes in our old garden all together one night. As you know dustbins are foxes takeaways, so Lets Eat or Just Eat, is when they go and raid the local dustbins. Totoro is fast asleep by then at the foot of my daughter’s bed like a hot water bottle.

Our old street was very busy, the new one is much quieter, so this means Totoro will go out the front door and sit on the garden wall watching the world go by, so much more choice nowadays. Then like a monument coming to life she’ll sprint up the street looking for more love and devotion. It is working as she has got fatter.

If you look out the back gardens a few of the gardens have bouncy contraptions for their kids, so Totoro watches her figure by doing a few backward flips on these trampolines. I suppose it is entertainment for her, testing children’s trampolines. If she gets caught out in the rain she can shelter under them as well. Though she now knows where every central heating air vent is, so she can blow dry her fur by sitting next to the air vents either high on the fence or on neighbouring kitchen roofs. That explains why she is so fluffy, fluffy but with the paw speed of Ali, so be nice to her.

She always rolls over each time you let her in the back door, and she always shows me her six nipples too if you gently blow in her direction. And she miaows too, she never used to miaow at the old house, I suppose 4 is equal to teenager in cat years. But at least she’ll never bring Toms home or get pregnant. We just keep her off the furniture, so she stands guard at the top of the stairs, an additional burglar alarm. A cats life is a nice life, especially if your name is Totoro.

  

Totoro at nearly 4

sorry i did not write the story, here's the cat for today

Later on a Totoro story so come back by Midnight Uk time

Later on a Totoro story so come back by  Midnight UK time

Well we were given some Lindt bunnies which are very nice, but best of  all you get a red ribbon with a golden bell around bunny's  neck, which looks all very Chinese to me.

So as Totoro our cat had lost her bells I decided to use the Lindt ones. So Totoro now has 3 golden bells attached by red ribbon to her black collar. I'll get a photo done and add it to the new story when I get around to it.

It's Totoro's 4th Birthday soon, my daughters wanted a pet so I said they could have a dog if I died or a cat if I had a heart attack. A few weeks later I had an unplanned quadruple heart bypass.

Once out of hospital I kept my promise. Hence the cat. Today is pancake day. 4 years ago my recovery was going very good and fast but on pancake day I had a hospital admission, for pain, the first of several. My sister drove me home but the pigs had locked me out of the old house.  So I had to phone and bang the door a lot to be let back in. And they had eaten all the pan cakes, that's what it is like living with 3 girls and a female cat.

come back later and see if I have "The New Cat in Totoro"    ready
cheerio for now, I'm of an age where I say cheerio, language reveals all.

Michael

A Can of Peas of a Story

A Can of Peas of a Story ©

By

Michael Casey

I was thinking of having a short walk to the woods, and I had been doing my daily readers check, and up popped Egypt. So there you have ingredients for a story, Egypt and woods. If you like Science Fiction, you are ahead of me already. If you see a man passing by with a ladder you automatically ask where is the snake, it’s a child’s board game if you are not familiar with it. So then you have 2 more ingredients to the story, and if you need a cushion, as I do right now, then even that becomes part of the story.

Well the cushion is better, maybe I should just turn the other cheek. Now I want you all to write your own story with :-Egypt,woods,snake,ladder, cushion and turning the other cheek

See how good you are, instead of munching a Lion bar and catcalling at the quality of today’s story. Add howling too, it can be fireworks or artillery shells landing everywhere, this represents my Tinnitus which only arrived a few months ago. Let’s see what you can do, DIY story.

Now let’s assume it’s one hour later what have you come up with, what have you concocted? Has it been easy? Did you nail it? Did you go off topic like a Trump speech? Did you blame somebody else for not getting that Nobel Prize. This is the Trump Tragedy, he is so off topic, off message, the attention span of a fish. It would be hilarious if it weren’t so tragic. Or am I just off topic.

Did you give yourself 10 out of 10, or an 8, or a 5, or didn’t you bother, which is a 0. I used to read each story to my kids as soon as it was finished, no they are grown I miss the feedback, but they are probably glad that dad has stopped reading out stories in his News Reader’s Voice. Yes that’s what my girls used to say. Moi, a newsreader, if you go to www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com you can hear for yourself, 200 or so stories.

Now I may come back and take the challenge myself, but then again, no teacher actually does the homework, they just set it. And yes I even did a year of ESOL teaching, my CV is a much splattered thing, like a handkerchief after a cold. I had my life in reverse. So if we look at the ingredients:- Egypt, Wood, Snake, Ladder, Cushion. Where would you start? Well theme park, with a ride in and out of a pyramid, you climb a ladder and slide out a snake, while sat on a big cushion. The ride is in a wood, a maze made of a wood, and in the centre is the ride. Easy. Did you all think of that immediately? I did and I am the lowest common denominator, in English if I can do it, the anybody can. So keep on practising and then you’ll bore as many people as I do in as many countries.

I just had to have a chocolate rush, Cadbury’s is so rich and creamy and comes from Birmingham too. I was up early so I may need to eat before finishing this talk. Before I eat, did you know there were ovens to bake bread besides the pyramids, 1000s of workers had to be fed too. Well I just fed myself so excuse me while I chew the last mouthful, and pick my teeth. And no my teeth do not come out at night and sit in a bowl of Domestos by my bed, my smile is real. Though a lovely memory of my dad is sitting on a bench as he held his false teeth in his hand and sucked the last piece of a sandwich off.

I hope you have noticed the style of writing and like it, well it won’t change so you are stuck with it. Why has it gone dark, who switched the computer off. So I’m talking to myself again. So if I’m talking to myself is that classed as Praying? This is for any Philosophy students who may have switched the computer back on. Why do I write? Because it makes me happy and it’s the best thing I do, and the only thing I can do considering my Health. Sam Smith is singing in the background so I’ll have to give him a cup of tea, then he won’t sound so plaintiff. Actually I think he’s FAB. So with that I’m going to finish for today, remember Words are Rubic Cubes, so twist and turn them and you’ll always get a different combination, as I do every washday.

  

3/3/19 thank you all

Below is a list of just some of my readers this week. thank you all for passing by over my 4 sites, don't forget the Wordpress. Well I got up early at 8am today, as my tinnitus has been real bad lately so I decided to get up then I watched Mass on the Internet.I was  going to go to real church but the pains kicked in, they really are so sudden and random, like having my own personal mugger of pain. People who just see me in the street might think I'm just a fat guy strolling about. I only have so much energy in the day. Sitting here talking to the world is the easy bit, so long as I have a cushion for for my fat backside.  But I image you don't want the "history" just the story. I really do love Taylor Swift's music by the way, and Gerry Rafferty's too, they are great company through the night as I try and drown the tinnitus. The change in the weather after the February Summer is bad for everybody's arthritis too.  So have some understanding for your old parents and grandparents. That's why I dream of living in Malta, as it is warm. April 2013 was my last holiday. United States
United Kingdom
France
Portugal
Unknown Region
Ukraine
Belgium
Poland
Brazil
Germany Sweden South Africa  Cisk Lager was very good too

Funny Looks

michaelgcasey Uncategorized 03/03/2019 3 Minutes

Funny Looks ©
By
Michael Casey

As ever I did not know what to write about today, then I had a thought, or maybe two, rub them together like sticks then you get a spark and then a fire. Which you all spit at and quench, making me feel sad. And so it goes, and so it goes. So Funny Looks is today’s piece, and yes I can see you all giving the screen funny looks. What’s he on about today, I can never understand him, I think he’s on drugs. Well I do take plenty of paracetamol at times and Movelat stops me from screaming in pain on occasions. But they are not the kind of medicines  that make me “trip”, I’m just very retentive, if it’s gone in my head then I’m not releasing it. I may release it 50 years later, and that’s when I get the funny looks.

I was in the shop just a while a go when a nice lady carrying her dog like a handbag was talking gas, no she wasn’t giving me a funny look and wondering was it me or her handbag dog that had passed gas. No, she was on about Gas companies. So I said put a jumper on, and save on your gas bill, or feed your husband 1/2 cold food.

The girl behind the counter looked on, then I remembered a tale, or was it the dog’s tail wagging that reminded me. We emptied the corner cupboard of all the jumpers and put them on my little sister who went redder and redder. Her arms stayed out at right angles from her body, we thought it was great fun. Mum came home and said we’d kill the child, this is what happens when you are number 6 in the pecking order. It was maybe 1966. And the lady behind the counter gave me a look, she did not think it was funny.

That’s the trouble with telling tales in public, especially as my new local area haven’t got used to me yet. People are busy and aren’t listening so can mishear or misunderstand what you are saying, then you do get funny looks. The trouble with Wit is that it’s fast and if people are too busy to listen it kills the joke. Back in 1970 in gym class I made a witty comment, Mr Ely said what, so I said a witty comment Sir, Terry O’Callahan said “a S—y comment” and HE was whacked with the pump. So Terry made a face, and now 50 years on he remembers it. So Wit costs, he became an accountant and later changed into a History teacher, if I remember rightly, I haven’t seen him in 20 years. He looks like an Irish Folk singer with a beard.

So with that track record of causing pain, no wonder I get funny looks. Timing is so important too, not just the comic timing, but the time and place for everything. No jokes at a Funeral, or you’ll really get funny looks, which reminds me of another true story. I actually put this in The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker as material. Dad was walking up the road outside the undertakers when a beer wagon went over a crushed cola can sending it spinning and it hit the undertaker’s son on the leg. He fell flat on his back in pain.

Another beer wagon was coming the opposite direction, it would have run over and killed the undertaker’s son who was laid out I the road. Only my dad was there and dragged him out of the way, saving his life. A few day’s later the undertaker’s son pointed my dad out to the undertaker. He was the man, so the undertaker shook dad’s hand in thanks. To which dad replied well flowers are dear making the 2 undertakers laugh. So comic timing is everything. There is a Brexit like codicil to this tale. When dad died in 2002, the undertaker made sure that dad looked his absolute best, it was the least he could do. In fact dad looked so good in his coffin he looked like his own brother Johnny from Ash Grove Cricklewood.

I hope you don’t get too many funny looks or odd looks, or rolls of the eyes. Just warm smiles of expectation, and not because you look pregnant fat like me. Now go and put the dinner on its2.30pm you don’t want your family to mutiny, or you could just dial for a pizza.

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Published by michaelgcasey

I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the exact same name, they are not me, and would not want to be me. Not unless they like arthritis, look for the silly photos, not the stereo-typical "I am a writer" photos which I hate. michaelgcasey is what you should look for and the TRANSLATIONS GALORE here on this site so tell all your friends all over the world, or just in your street. Remember too the click to Translate Button, so all of you everywhere can "suffer" my words. I write HUMOUR, with English Spellings, a relative of Arron's(only joking) https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC for my 17 books you can email, but scam emails are deleted unread, with due respect nobody ever opens or replies to contact me on a DIFFERENT email to the sending one. email michaelgcasey@hotmail.com BUT WITH a good subject line I'm Michael Casey or just look for michaelgcasey, all one word. or just look for my face, fat and silver haired usually wearing shades so check both till you find all 17 books 1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker 2.Shoplife 3.Essays and Plays 4.Blogs 2011 5.300 and Not OUT 6.Shorts 2013 7.More Shorts 2014 8.Quick Stories 9.Still Alive 2015 10.Undiscovered Words 2016 11.Still Smiling 2017 12.Altogether Now 13.New Horizons 14.14 Up 15.15 Down 16.Sweet Sixteen 17. 17 Again https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC to buy ebooks THERE ARE OTHERS OF THE SAME NAME who are not me, SO LOOK FOR THE SILLY PHOTOS I did get 21,000 Polish readers just by word of mouth on my Site, for a Translation of the finale of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker in just 3 weeks In Search of An Indian Princess is what I called the finale. And a low budget film producer did take a look, so Spielberg how about you finally running with that ball. I called it In Search of an Indian Princess, the Polish Translation got 21,000 views in a few weeks. I even had a low budget film producer have a look at it a few years ago. So Spielberg it's still available and so am I. My books on Amazon are a Shop Window until a fancy PUBLISHER or anybody else picks me up, though I am very heavy, so don't hurt yourself I started writing a long time ago. 1987 to be exact. It took me a year to learn how to write. I spent 20 years listening to BBC Radio 4 BEFORE I picked up a pen. I used to read by the yard too. I hope I write for ears if that doesn't sound too pretentious. So that's 50 years in love with Words, yes my birth certificate is so old, not me. I feel 20 in my head, though on pain days I feel 95. Don't get Arthritis ++++ nor skeletal muscular pain after a quadruple heart bypass. And yes I like soft toilet paper too, or is that too much information? 2018 was the 30th Anniversary since The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker was born, in the living room behind me as I huddled the gas fire. My Face is on all the books so you know who to blame, I am not the Monk or anybody else THERE ARE OTHERS OF THE SAME NAME, SO LOOK FOR THE SILLY PHOTOS of me www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com to HEAR my words, 200+ stories, 12hours worth in Posh Birmingham STOP PRESS, for those of you who wished I'd stop writing, well it nearly happened. I had an Unplanned Triple Heart Bypass in Jan 2015, and I didn't even know I had heart problems. 6 months later I learnt I had 4 grafts, so is that a Quadruple? Anyways Thanks to Birmingham's City Hospital and our Queen Elizabeth hospital I am still here with you. Though I'm still getting pain as it takes a long time to heal, and just for fun my Arthritis plays up too. And yes I write about pain as well, for without pain in our life we have not experienced all of life. Though I'd love a break from all the pain, as would all of us. Its 7thFeb2019 now and I've reached about 1,430,000 Words or nearly 4200 pages if you stack it all up. Its taken me 30 years now, I know I only look 25, well in my imagination anyway. I've done 26,000 words of my 18th book so far, about 64 pages. Biography I've been close but no cigar most of my life, such as having a play accepted by a professional theatre back in 1989, the play was Shoplife. They called it Sparkling, very real, great fun. hilarious, we could not stop reading it. This gave me the confidence to ignore all negative nasty not nice neighbours, who used too must alliteration, to be negative about my writing. However Life is not a straight road, its more a long and winding road. I can even remember being at grammar school when Monty Python first came out. And look what happened to them. One of my brothers was actually at the same college and University as John Cleese, Downing Cambridge. Another brother was at the same college and University as Mr Bean, Queens Oxford. I'm name dropping just in case Andrew at the Daily Mail, editor is reading this. As for me I went to work. Our dad by the way was a Blacksmith then sweated for 40 years in a steel works, in Brasshouse Lane Smethwick. Me I was a computer operator back in 1978 on Dec PDP 1170s, 40 years ago,and then a variety of other jobs, I had my working life in reverse. The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker is a slow burner that really does catch fire, and the best place to be when a book catches fire is, down the pub, The Trader in the book. Hidden in the cellar since WWII is a hoard of whisky, whisky galore you might say. When the street of shops in the book is threatened the shopkeepers can and will resort to anything. Such as a Poet and Undertaker using blackmail. When Patrick finds his one true love, and breaks the bed to prove it what does his priest do? The priest makes him organise a fete for the children's home, now that he has made a baby he has to take responsibility for it, and the children's home fete. The priest too uses a little blackmail, so the local police stop all traffic and detour it so as it passes the children's home 3 times, just in time for the fete. The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker is a fun book for all the family with an explosive ending. 21,000 POLISH READERS CANNOT BE WRONG. The Translations of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker on this site are read all over the world So buy it. Amazon Kindle books can be downloaded to Kindle, PC and Laptop. So you have no excuse, or does the writer have to persuade you? where I wrote my 1st 17books, and google earth has me standing outside https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-78263927.html 888888888 https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/ & http://butcherbakerundertaker.blogspot.co.uk/ Now my book of blogs has many funny pieces in it, here's a taster of what you get if you buy the book. 300 and Not OUT, called very funny by one publisher. All I need is a Fairy Godmother and then you can all surf on my 1,430,000 words. And I can pay off the mortgage on the new house, and donate to my daughters as University beckons. Stuffing Tony© By Michael Casey Stuffing Tony, what am I talking about, no not our tame turkey whom we've decided to eat, nor anything else. Tony is in fact a soft toy, he's my small daughter's favourite, the one she loves the most. He's a white tiger, he was in fact he was her sister's Birthday tiger from a few years ago, but she cried until she owned him. Tony is a very washed out bleached kind of tiger. Tony has been through the washing machine a couple of times, he was very very dizzy when he came out. Yesterday Tony got a brother, his brother is a ginger tiger, now christened Ginger. Ginger makes us laughter because Ginger is how English people call my wife if they cannot pronounce her Chinese name. Tony is one of 40 stuffed toys the girls have, they live up a corner behind the sofa which is just behind me. They are allowed out to form a class when my small daughter plays teacher, afterwards they climb back into their Iceland bags and go to sleep. There is a problem with Tony though, he's lived in the fast lane and lost a lot of weight. So following strict instructions, today I have done a stuffing transplant, which is like a heart transplant but much more important and dangerous. Today without any sedative I have made Loony Chick donate some stuffing to Tony. I took the scissors and make an incision in Loony Chick's behind, I then proceeded to remove the stuffing. I had previously made an incision in Tony's neck at the back, it was then a process of removing from Loony Chick and stuffing Tony. The whole procedure lasted 20mins, Tony now looks very plumped up and proud, as the leader of the pride should look. As for Loony Chick, he, she or should I say it now looks as if he'd had a few dodgy kebabs, very slim, but at least the head still looks plump. When the girls come home from school we'll decide what to do with Loony Chick, should we stuff him with chopped up old clothes, or bubble wrap? Or should he face the death sentence and be sent to a Charity shop, I know it sounds cruel, but since he came back from Shanghai in 2009 he'd mainly been a cushion. These are the very serious things a modern parent has to deal with, luckily I know how to sew, and I have a special relationship with all the toys. Now that Tony is full and looks like a weightlifting Tiger I hope Ginger won't be jealous, otherwise one of them may have to end up in a zoo, or the closest equivalent, in one of the 13 charity shops near our house. https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/ www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com to HEAR me read my stuff http://butcherbakerundertaker.blogspot.co.uk/ are places to read my stuff, comic in the main. I NOT on Facebook, you can only find me on my sites. Though you can tell all your FB friends about me or email michaelgcasey@hotmail.com in English only, I delete many Junk emails daily, unopened I would love a spot in a newspaper or magazine, print or online, alongside the fish and chips. I'm honest enough to say I'm as good as the stuff you read online or in newspapers, and yes I've known this for years, 30 years, if I flash/expose my ability a second. Ok, I've put my quill away in the inkwell. I would love a spot on the radio too, 90 seconds with Michael, could be expanded to an hour. where I'd read a blog out on the radio every day. I have 2000+ inc repeats. So if you agree with me that it would be a great feature do get in touch I HAVE RECORDED 200 PLUS STORIES ABOUT 12 HOURS WORTH SO FAR. PERFECT FOR RADIO SO DO GET IN TOUCH or just listen www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com I also think a book of my stories with facing page translation plus my audio attached would be a great way to teach English via humour to foreigners I have enough material for a series of books. And yes I was an ESOL teacher for a year too, in an Islamic school, I was called excellent, excellent and exemplary by the external assessor, and yes I'd never actually taught before I stood up and tried it. I had spent 3 years as a concierge ++++ so I knew I could do it, as it's just talking. And I had all the writing experience too, and by the way the wife is from Shanghai. So Angel investors get in touch My shorts/blogs are a coffee and a biscuit long, I have 12 hours worth recorded already. www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com My 17 books can be bought here on Amazon Kindle, https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0 1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker 2.Shoplife 3.Essays and Plays 4.Blogs 2011 5.300 and Not OUT 6.Shorts 2013 7.More Shorts 2014 8.Quick Stories 9.Still Alive 2015 10.Undiscovered Words 2016 11.Still Smiling 2017 12.Altogether Now 13.New Horizons 14.14 Up 15.15 Down 16.Sweet Sixteen 17. 17 Again DON'T FORGET KINDLE BOOKS CAN BE LOADED TO PC AND LAPTOP NOT JUST KINDLE. And, there's more, I have readers all over the world, 35 plus countries, so my humour does travel..... Even if I don't, pain attacks for want of a better word, can come suddenly, so I doubt if I'll ever have another holiday, a screamer wouldn't go well on an airline. Let There Be Light © By Michael Casey Let my tears be my words Let the candle light be my eyes Let the flowers in bloom be my lips Let their scent be my blood Let the wind be my breath Let clouds be my mood Let children’s laughter be my hope Let widows’ sighs be my conscience Let a stranger’s prayers be my delight Let the bees be my wisdom Let the trees be my strength Let my patience reach to the stars Let me be always remembered in your prayers new for 2019 a brand new poem Let My Heart Sing© By Michael Casey Let my heart sing Let my smile shine Let my laughter ring Let my joy spread Let my light fill my life Let my words be wise Let my ears never deaf to your needs Let my eyes always see the good Let my shoulders never buckle under any weight Let my feet always bring me back home Let my fingers never need to be crossed Let there always be one thing to be remembered by Love and Charity for Others, my sisters and brothers So when I am dust, remember me for what I tried to be A singer singing a song even though I always sung badly, Because in my heart I was Singing as we all should in Harmony. View all posts by michaelgcasey

Published 03/03/2019

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