Co jest w internecie? by Michael Casey

2. Co jest w internecie?

Był kawałek dzisiejszego DT na temat internetu, mój

post Internet Story opowiada wiele o tym temacie

przyniósł ją z powrotem.

Ale najpierw powiedziałbym, że korzystanie z Internetu pozwala

ćwiczyć swoje umiejętności, pozwala to być słownym

Banksy, aby podzielić się swoją "mądrością" ze światem. To pozwala

przechwytywanie stron internetowych na własne urządzenia, takie jak

krzycząc do załogi telewizyjnej lub ciągnąc twarze do załogi telewizyjnej

podczas gdy rozmawiają z kimś ważnym lub z siebie

ważne, takie jak księżycowe, podczas gdy polityk trzęsie się.

Co ważniejsze, polityk stara się ocalić twarz

czy księżyc za sobą?

Ja Próbuję zachęcić ludzi do przeczytania The Butcher The Baker

i Undertaker moją komiczną powieść. Gdybym miał kilka funtów

Opublikowałem je jako Ebook, w momencie jego bezpłatnego przeczytania

w mojej witrynie. www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com mogę

współczuć z śpiewakami, którzy często zwiedzali cały stary lud

kluby mogą wykonywać trzy utwory w przerwie.

Wreszcie można robić zestaw sześciu wierszy. Szalony

Psy i Anglik był wielkim zespołem lat temu, oni

może teraz nie żyć, mam nadzieję, że nie, ale alkohol ma kilka

Strona 6

ich rodzaju. Nick Fenwick był kolejnym wielkim śpiewakiem, tak jak to było

Tommy Dempsy. Powrót do internetu, oto każdy

ich 15 minut sławy lub własnego wirtualnego świata, w którym

są gwiazdą, podobnie jak Xfactor, gdzie jesteś

sędziego, jury i własnego publicysty. Tak, złamałem się

niektóre z "zasad" w internecie, ale to radość

to możesz mieć swoje powiedzenie, prasa drukarska była świetna

rewolucji i przyniosły wykształcenie masom, tak teraz

jego sposób Internet przynosi oświecenie masom.

Tak, przynosi dużo śmieci, może 50% śmieci

i 50% ciekawych rzeczy, ale myślę, że mam rację

mówiąc, że jest tak ważne, jak prasa drukarska. Jeśli my

nie mieliśmy internetu, z którym moglibyśmy wrócić

dni Mnichów w komórkach oświetlających strony. Teraz, gdybym mógł

narysować moją książkę byłby bardziej sprzedawalny, kilka rysunków chwycić

ludzie więc odwracają strony, okładka sztuki jest ważna

także. Więc jeśli Banksy czyta to, jak coś zrobić

ilustracje dla mnie. Jako płatność będą puste

w każdej książce, dzięki czemu Banksy mogą zwrócić się do swoich serc

treść, ja po prostu będę cieszyć się tantiemami.

Teraz wszyscy znają historię internetową. Michael w

Zamrażanie Birmingham

Michael Casey email michaelgcasey@hotmail.com

IF you like these stories in Polish then you could drop a quick email to me with 

FROM POLAND in the subject line  I could add one a day, if you encourage me

Amazing People

Amazing People ©

By

Michael Casey

There are lots of amazing people in the world, I met one in the supermarket the other day, his name was Michael too, and he was teased with the song Michael Rows the Boat Ashore as well. I could speak more of him but he’d probably throw a tin of roe at me, so I’ll just leave it there, but I will duck.

When we grow up we are amazed and impressed by others. In my case the kid who could direct his pee over the wall of the boys outside toilets, showering anybody passing by as he passed his water. The legend is that he grew up to be a fireman directing a hose to save people’s lives, life is a circle after all.

There was girl who could spell any word in the dictionary, her father could curse for England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales. So her mother asked her to say some nice words from the dictionary, as an antidote. The girl went on to win a scholarship to Oxford then she ended up with a PhD, she was Dr Lizzie now. An Oxford Don praised her to high Heaven in front of her now retired father. You must have been flummoxed when your little girl got into the illustrious den of iniquity. He laughed. Her dad grabbed the Don by the throat, if you use that word again in front of the wife and my little girl, I’ll *&^^* you. The Don just laughed and kissed her dad on both cheeks. Somebody get a Guinness and a whisky chaser for my best friend. And with that the steel worker and the Don became instant best friends. Dr Lizzie just smiled and her mum glowed with pride , imagine her )*&&* husband having a best friend and a Oxford Don too she said. It was the only time her mum had ever sworn.

My only claim to fame is eating 3 hamburgers back to back, though obviously I am only half the man my dad ever was. When he first saw hamburgers on holiday in Rhyl he ate 6 of them back to back, waiting for the cook to cook them in front of him. I do have a world record for eating Chinese dumplings while in Shanghai and staying in a hotel. In fact afterwards I did block the toilets, such was my throughput. When we left we gave a large tip to the hotel porter, we told him not to tell anybody and that I too had done his job in my much varied past. He must have thought it was Chinese New Year, and for him it was.

There are a few amazing drinkers I have met, especially in my computer room days, but they always worked so hard that they deserved all the beer they drunk. And they never missed a day even if they had a sore head from the night before. One person I worked with had amassed a year, yes a year in unpaid flexi-time. He was an amazing person, even if he ate cucumber which was like garlic to a vampire like me, if I am allowed a private joke.

Daisy is a girl I know who can always look badly dressed, even in Prada and all the highest of fashion. She is naturally very pretty but has no fashion sense whatsoever, she murders fashion, rather than using it to lift her up and accentuating her high notes. Mandy her fat friend, and pretty girls always have fat friends, it’s like a Law of Physics, looks great in a paper bag and a smudge of red lipstick. It’s because Mandy’s personality shines through the look in her eyes. And yes Mandy has the best boyfriends the hunks, because they like the laughter she brings. Daisy ended up with an accountant, on account of her lack of fashion sense. Though years later she read a story of mine and became a photographer, she specialized in taking nude photos of men. Starting with accountants holdings abacuses.

I could tell you more but the Great British Bakeoff is on tv, so I must stop now and dust down my breadboard, which could be a really filthy metaphor, you know what the show is like.  

. Okna Zakupy © przez Michael Casey for my Polish readers

MichaelCasey'sBlogs2011 ©

przez

Michael Casey

1. Okna Zakupy ©

przez Michael Casey

Cóż, przeziębił mnie chłód, więc wszystko się pognałem i

picie galonów gorących napojów, czajnik gwiżdży

czekaj więc chwilę. Ach, lepiej, innej gorącej kawy

Przejdę do gorącej czarnej porzeczki. Dlaczego przychodzi chłód

Boże Narodzenie? Są tak przewidywalne, jak śpiewacy kolędnicy. ja tylko

kiedykolwiek próbował śpiewać kolędę raz jako dziecko, to kolejna

pamięć, która spieszyła się do mnie.

Rosie powiedziała mi, że uwierzyła, że ​​jeśli spojrzysz na zabawkę

okno sklepowe można było zobaczyć wszystkie zabawki, ale w nocy, kiedy

nie było cię tam wszyscy oni przyszli do życia. Była dzieckiem

w tym czasie, ale mam nadzieję, że pozwala tej pamięci wejść w życie

często. Moje dzieci nadal wierzą w Santa jak ja, idę

wyposażenie każdego nowego kostiumu w Slaterach

Boże Narodzenie, a potem Santa przychodzi do finału

dopasowanie, jesteśmy o tym samym rozmiarze widzisz. Mógłbyś

powiedz, że jestem jego ciałem, tak jak w filmach.

Ale z powrotem do Slaters, teraz mają tylko mały sklep

Strona 2

okno, a następnie podjąć windę na górze i to trochę

jak jaskinia Aladyna. Ale mówiąc o sklepach i

zakupy okienne jest wiele sposobów na sklep z oknami. The

prawdziwy świat może być męczący idąc po sklepach,

zwłaszcza jeśli masz młodą i modną żonę. Więc ja

Wkrótce zdało sobie sprawę, że najlepszym sposobem na to, aby sama wyjechała

podczas gdy ja miałam ciszę i spokój, kiedyś mieliśmy dzieci

zabrał dzieci i ciszy i spokoju. Perfekcyjny

rozwiązanie, zwłaszcza gdy zapłaciłem rachunek. Młode dziewczyny

stały się bardzo modne sumienia, więc były doskonałe

lustro, powiedzmy mamie to jest dobre, albo źle. jestem pewien

Szanghaj mężowie / chłopcy zgadzają się ze mną, być może tam

powinien być klubem dla szanghajskich mężów / ​​chłopaków

Ja patrzę w 2 sklepowe okna i wiem, że nie mają mnie

rozmiaru, a potem zmierzam do Slatersów, kiedyś z

rodzina w palcach, a potem jej błyskawica, błysk

whallop, mam wszystko, czego potrzebuję. To mnie robi przez rok lub

dwa.

Lubię wyglądać w oknach sklepowych, zegarki są

słabość moich, dlaczego zegarki męskie są tak ogromne w dzisiejszych czasach,

jak masz budzik przymocowany do nadgarstka. ja

zazwyczaj chodzi o eleganckie, lub eleganckie

moja opinia. Te z wieloma wybieraniami i przyciskami

Strona 3

prasy i kolei to turnoff. Oris są ładne, podobnie jak

Omega. Tak marzy mi się jeden z tych, gdy wygram

loterii lub wreszcie sprzedaży książek. Mój pierwszy zegarek

było za przekazanie 11plus, wszystko w Watch and Me

esej na mojej stronie www.michaelgcasey.multiply.com

Teraz jesteśmy w świecie technologicznym, mamy okna

świat poprzez nasz telewizor i nasz komputer. Mówiłem

dziewczyny dzisiaj wcześniej, że mieliśmy tylko 2 lub 3 kanałów telewizyjnych

kiedy byłem w ich wieku, nie mogli w to uwierzyć. Więc co

robimy to z naszym telewizorem / komputerem? sklep z oknami

Oczywiście patrzę na zegarki i marzymy o mojej automatycznej

Oris czy Omega, i jak miło byłoby. Miałem

20 lat temu. Ja zawsze trwa

rzeczy i walka o moje zegarki. Jedna gotowa, a

front zerwał się, więc spoglądałem z powrotem na szkło, tylko ja

skleiły ręce.

Co jeszcze robię? Cóż, kiedy potrzebuję nowej zimy

płaszcz I patrzeć na stronach internetowych i zobaczyć, co mogę zobaczyć

xxl lub 2xl, jak się obecnie nazywa. Okna zakupy na

web pozwala mi zobaczyć, co jest dostępne, projekty i tak

naprzód, z komfortu własnego domu, jak ty

widziana z fotografii na mojej stronie internetowej. Rząd

Zachęca do tego wszystkie zakupy, ponieważ pomaga

Strona 4

handlu, co z kolei pomaga w ich opodatkowaniu, co w

kolei powinny nam pomóc. W końcu zostawiamy nasze domy i

odwiedzić miasto i kupić rzeczy i mieć piwo i posiłek

jesteśmy na to.

Wszyscy wyglądamy online przed zarezerwowaniem wakacji, niektóre spojrzenie

online dla miłości, romansu, seksu. A potem książka ich

wakacje. Online to nasze oczy, nikt nie uwierzy, ile lat

kiedyś byłem, moje wnuki nie będą

że Internet został wynaleziony, jego tak zwyczajny jak

rosnące w ogrodzie, zawsze tam było. W

przyszłością będą wycieczki z przewodnikiem wyjaśniające

Window Shopping, o trzymaniu się za ręce w deszczu, o

pasażerowie zebrali się w drzwiach, mówiąc o MU

ich żony / dziewczyny próbują rzeczy. Okno Zakupy jest

część kultury światowej, jest trzecią co do wielkości okupacją

świat po seksie i opowieściach przychodzi Okno Zakupy.

News Update 5/09/2017 Tuesday

About to go to  bed. Just seen Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them.  9/10

will watch it again soon, its that good. We think better than all the previous Harry Potter material on film.

Have also handed in a USB  with stories and Polish translations to my local Polish store, one of the crew wanted to learn/improve her  English.

They may all think my writing is rubbish or just throw it away thinking it was stray rubbish. However  back in March I had 21,000 Polish readers just by word of mouth in a month on this site.
So we shall see.

The house we were after was snatched up by somebody else, so it sold in ONE DAY.
My own house is not yet on the market as I know it can sell in ONE WEEK as its a very hot area.
And its a struggle to please all 4 of us. My house is where I have written my first 1,160,000 words or 14 books.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

But I have one final throw of the dice which I'll try tomorrow, all my life's a circle is all I'll say. It was a name of a song too so find it on UTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvhfaM3-z74


That's all kiss your family because soon we are all gone.

Michael

Writing a Letter of Complaint

Writing a Letter of Complaint ©

By

Michael Casey

Yes, I know how to castrate with my pen. I will be polite 2 or 3 times and give a company a chance to sort out their mistake, then I press the nuclear button. It works, trust me it works. You may have to persevere but in the end it works. I’ve written 2 this morning already. Ok, I just pointed out people’s mistakes and told them what they should have done and how they can make it up to me.

Obviously as this is a talk I’m giving to you I am also using my artistic license, if you have something you should always use it. So here in these paragraphs I’ll give you the straight and boring version and then I’ll digress. First thing use email and keep every email you send, open a folder to keep your emails in. My pot of Shamrock did not arrive so you email Paddy’s genuine Shamrock company in Albania, it was cheap that’s why you bought it from them but it did not arrive.

Then when they ask you to spell your name C A S E Y  you write everything down as if they were 4 year olds. Assume they are bored students on plant food, sorry legal highs. Yes it does sound condescending, but if you have paid 2.99 for superb shamrock from Albania, the home of Mother Theresa, then you are entitled for it to come on time. By the way my sister has met two saints, JPII and Mother Theresa. Me I’ve only met 1000s upon thousands of sinners.

I digressed then, when you are complaining you must never digress, it just confuses them. You must must be like a pit bull with a burglar’s balls in his mouth. So AFTER the 2 or 3 Polite emails you turn into Jack Nicholson in that film where he has the axe, I know the name but as homework I want you all to find out, especially you Boris. Drinking 7 bottles of vodka in a week is not allowed, especially as it was Holy Water my sister had brought back from a holy place for me.

So after the polite messages you find the mail address of the CEO and you talk to him alone. Google email addresses of CEOs and Bob is your uncle, enjoy. Dear Sir your Cretinous staff based in some cheap non unionized country, NeverNeverLand or wherever it is have failed to send me my splendid shamrock priced 2.99. You must always write FORMAL COMPLAINT in the subject box, because the shareholders may know nothing but they do count FORMAL COMPLAINTS. Then you normally get action, as CEOs will testify.

Sadly sometimes the staff are not only on plant food but have not even been trained so they don’t check the complaints folder. Or am I being naive or is it cynical? The quality of the training shows in the quality of the answers you get. Once a CEO is involved you usually get action and fast, that’s if he can trust his underlings. Yes there are female CEOs too, but saying underlings is not a nice word use with female CEOs, it’s like rice and chips, they don’t mix, ok Boris I know you will eat anything and wash it down with my Holy Water.

If anything does go wrong after the CEO is involved you have saved all the emails as evidence, and you can quote things back to them. I worked in a computer room since 1978  so saving things is second nature to me. So there you have it, 3 strikes and the normal staff are out, and if they are on the plant food, sorry legal highs they are never in to start with. So after 3 tries you annoy the CEO. And then you will get action, even if you have to act like that pit bull.

Yes there is a club, We had Michael Casey email us, a bottle of Holy Water is hidden in the bottom drawer of a few CEOs. I will say though one company was fantastic and I still use them and would willingly recommend them. I have them in pectore so that’s enough praise for them, they don’t want a swelled head like Boris after all the Vodka or was in Holy Water?

Oh, before I forget I also email “famous” people in the vain hope that one of them has a sense of humour and then with the 7 degrees of separation I may get noticed and have Kenny Everette’s spot on the radio. All I have so far is a spot on my, on my, well that’s why I’m sitting side saddle today as I talk to you. So I hope you have all enjoyed today’s talk. I use a variety of styles as the Muse takes me, all in an attempt to amuse myself and my readers. And if you don’t like what you hear you could try sending me chocolate which I’ll accept in lieu of a formal complaint.

Autumn 2017 is here

Autumn is here schools will be going back soon, I have tidied up my site but you can find loads of stuff on my other sites if only you look.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

here's something from Jan 2013 its in 300 and Not Out  , if memory serves.

Stuffing Tony©

By Michael Casey

Stuffing Tony, what am I talking about, no not our tame turkey whom we've decided to eat, nor anything else. Tony is in fact a soft toy, he's my small daughter's favourite, the one she loves the most. He's a white tiger, he was in fact he was her sister's Birthday tiger from a few years ago, but she cried until she owned him. Tony is a very washed out bleached kind of tiger. Tony has been through the washing machine a couple of times, he was very very dizzy when he came out. Yesterday Tony got a brother, his brother is a ginger tiger, now christened Ginger. Ginger makes us laugher because Ginger is how English people call my wife if they cannot pronounce  her Chinese name.

Tony is one of 40 stuffed toys the girls have, they live up a corner behind the sofa which is just behind me. They are allowed out to form a class when my small daughter plays teacher, afterwards they climb back into their Iceland bags and go to sleep. There is a problem with Tony though, he's lived in the fast lane and lost a lot of weight. So following strict instructions, today I have done a stuffing transplant, which is like a heart transplant but much more important and dangerous. Today without any sedative I have made Loony Chick donate some stuffing to Tony. I took the scissors and make an incision   in Loony Chick’s behind, I then proceeded to remove the stuffing. I had previously made an incision in Tony’s neck at the back, it was then  a process of removing from Loony Chick and stuffing Tony.

The whole procedure lasted 20mins, Tony now looks very plumped up and proud, as the leader of the pride should look. As for Loony Chick, he, she or should I say it now looks as if he’d had a few dodgy kebabs, very slim, but at least the head still looks plump. When the girls come home from school we’ll decide what to do with Loony Chick, should we stuff him with chopped up old clothes, or bubble wrap? Or should he face the death sentence and be sent to a Charity shop, I  know it sounds cruel, but since he came back from Shanghai in 2009 he’d mainly been a cushion.

These are the very serious things a modern parent has to deal with, luckily I know how to sew, and I have a special relationship with all the toys. Now that Tony is full and looks like a weightlifting Tiger I hope Ginger won’t be jealous, otherwise one of them may have to end up in a zoo, or the closest equivalent, in one of the 13 charity  shops near our house.

https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/contact/ 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1 

Perfect Pitch another piece from 4 years ago

having a rest and doing a bit of house hunting despite the pain, so here's something from 4 years agoand I'll try and write a new piece tomorrow

Perfect Pitch ©

By

Michael Casey

In music perfect pitch is where you sing really well, hitting the notes exactly as they should be, or if you play an instrument you play perfectly well. I believe John and Yoko’s son has perfect pitch, I heard it said on the radio.

Behind me is the piano where my girls practice and where they have their music lessons. Some of the tunes they play take me back to my childhood, the girls are surprised I know the tune, I even sing the song to them. In our house Music is important.

The girls joined a church choir after their primary school took them to visit the church. So that has been a great thing these past  few years. The lady from the choir is the same lady who comes to our house to teach them piano.

Pianos make a lot of noise, they resonate throughout the house, our piano, an electronic one also has pedals, and the girls know how to use them. One pedal extends the sound, the other pedal cuts it short. If I have explained this wrong, then forgive me.

Piano lessons,  mean practice.  You have to make sure or even force the student to practice. It all depends on your student. For me sitting four feet away from the piano as I talk to you, it can be very noisy with a daughter behind me practicing.  A little boring too as they repeat five times over the practice piece.

Now for me  the best bit is when they improvise after the practice piece. My smallest daughter is very good at improv. This is where the Vangelis in her comes to the fore, and where the electronic sounds can be used on the piano. I have in fact just switched Vangelis on as I talk to you, I hope he doesn’t drown out my words.

Music is freedom, as I’ve said before Jazz is smoke turned into music, so listening to my daughter improvise is a great thing. Finally when they are  finished the house slumbers again. But not for long, as I have my music on the computer, and on a usb  stick in my cheap but great sounding hifi behind me on the bookcase.

So are we noisy neighbours? You’ll have to ask the neighbours, but our neighbour is a musician, and teaches violin, so I think she’ll never complain.

Now Pitch Perfect the title of today’s piece was going to talk about pitching an idea, and  pitch perfect was the title as it could have a double meaning. But I’ve led myself astray a little, just a little.

I had to pitch an idea, a script to be honest, only the other day. It’s a hard thing to do, especially if you have to do it in one page. So what did I do? I cheated,  I chose a small font size so I could fit in more words. Ask a writer to say less is almost impossible, it’s like asking an alcoholic to stop drinking. And I know all about alcoholics, we had lodgers and they were all big drinkers.

So how do you pitch an idea? In the end you cannot, all you can do is be honest and tell the story of your screenplay in as few as words as possible. I imagine the one page pitch is faxed to the backers and if they like it they ask for the full script to be emailed to them.

 Then in a jacuzzi  somewhere a moneyman is reading your script  as he drinks his orange juice or whatever. If he drops it in the water then you have failed, but if he gets out and sits to read your script, then you have a chance. He may even ask his mum or wife or daughter  to have a read too. Then you have a chance.

I am also trying to get my words on the radio, so how do you pitch for that? As I talk to you Vangelis is turning smoke into music, perfect pitch from Vangelis, Love theme from Blade Runner. Music is so great if only I could play or even sing.

Back to pitching for radio, what have I tried? Well I put my best 4 pieces together as well as my poem “Let my Tears be my Words” and with a bit of background and then I’ve sent it off to a radio station. I hope the 4 pieces I’ve pitched touch the radio station’s heart. I’ve also sent some audio and some video, so they can see and hear me as well as my words. It was them who asked for video and audio, so I hope I look and sound ok.

If you go to Amazon Kindle and look  at Michael Casey writer page then you can judge for yourself. 300 and Not OUT is my lead book for radio. The radio idea I’ve called 90 Seconds with Michael, because a short piece can be read in 90seconds. Which may mean I can sneak into radio, because it’s only a short piece. There are longer pieces too, maybe 500 of them.

In a way this pitch perfect piece is two pieces, one about music and one about words. Will my words be music to their ears? I really hope so, this has been 20+25 years in the making. I just hope I’m not tone deaf.