Friday 2 June 2017

Lazy Friday Morning

Lazy Friday Morning ©
By
Michael Casey

I’m having a lazy Friday morning, I was up for 2 hours in the middle of the night with my Mistress, PAIN, no not that kind of Mistress either. The real thing, and no we didn’t pour Cola all over each other either. That’s disgusting, Ben and Jerry’s ice cream or nothing I say. STOP you are so disgusting, so despicable. Are you Clinton supporters or what? I can’t keep up with all this Political stuff.

Disappointing. That’s not good enough, you should have said very disappointing. No,you should have said disappointing with a cherry on the top, spoken in a sexy French accent.And on it goes.

Where was I, I am here you are there, right over there, in USA land, somebody has retuned to read my stuff hot off the presses. Who in the USA reads my stuff almost as soon as it is posted? Maybe Rupert Murdoch has it printed off for him to read in his toilet, then he scores my writing by whether he throws it through the hoop at the back of his toilet door. Or just uses it still warm from the printer to give his editorial opinion on it, emphasis on, on it, before he flushes it away.

I’ll ask him next time I meet him down the Trader in Old Forge and Singing Anvil. Speaking of which in chapter Nine of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker I have my views on Politics, called Marriage to a Person, Marriage to a People. A Liberal actually wins in a Rock Hard labour seat, but he does have the help of Percy the Undertaker and Poet who writes all his speeches, and literally gets the Grey vote out, before he puts them in the ground.

So if its not Rupert reading my words, and try saying that if you are Chinese, maybe its the Russian embassy in USA, trying to improve their English. The Spaceman and the Archangel is posted in Russian on my site after all. Blame Google translate not me, the Senate will investigate me next, and then maybe I’ll get a book deal and appear on Fox. Maybe the Five will argue about me and talk over each other as they do so.

Or it could be Chelsea Manning, my words could have been a punishment for her while she was in jail all those years. But now out and free,maybe I am her addiction, I am her guilty secret, she reads Michael Casey the fat Birmingham England Writer, the one with silver hair and shades. The utter and total sadness of it all, reading HIM. Mad Magazine yes, but Michael Casey, I think I’ll puke.

I might just be a moderator’s delight, he has to clean up all the trash on FaceBook but at least he has an oasis of calm, my writing. No sniggering at the back, or I’ll slap the backs of your legs with wet lettuce. Google Larry Grayson for details. Mark Zee could employ the 75,000 miners as moderators, he does need that many after all. And then he’d kill two birds with one stone, he’d end Global warming and restore Paris.

I’ve digressed, who is my USA reader, my quick one, fast one, I must have Michael Casey, his words only. Maybe its a Rapper with a hood, an Augustinian Monk in sandals who has a hood and a really great voice. A kind of Barry White as a Monk, though Barry was a Man, a father of six. Don’t go changing, I want you just the way you are. And that’s what I’d say to any Editor, don’t do changing, I want my words just the way they are.

It may just be one of the Press pack at the White House, the Gem, the chosen one, as Trump called him at a Press Conference. Or it  could be the embattled Press secretary, he needs an escape from his boss and the Press, he’s stuck in the middle with Michael Casey.

No wonder he’s in the naval reserve and longs for the ocean, to be alone in the rigging with just the wind beating on his chest. Sean Spicer splash the Old Spice and feel the breeze. Ok just put your head in front of the broken hand drier that blows cold air, and dream you are on the 7 seas with just the wind blowing through your hair.

I could go on but I need a shower and then I have to shop for silver foil and hand wash, being a HausFrau has its responsibilities. So stay pure whoever you are in the USA, even if you were Born in the USA, and Bruce move your bike from my front lawn. Or I’ll throw it in a dump, riding a tricycle at your age. You know you have a  free Seniors Bus Pass now, so use it.


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