Short stories from Birmingham readers in 162 countries so far
HEAR ME READ ALOUD
207 stories written & read by me
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Remember too to pray that Putin goes away, would USA allow a foreign country to take Florida, or take California away, and say it was fair. Never deal with Satan, Pray Hope and Don’t Worry as Padre Pio says, Putin’s days are very nearly over TRUST in God and yourselves Ukraine will be FREE again, very soon
What do you see?
by
Michael Casey
You look in the mirror and see your reflection
I look at you and see through you
You are a window, a sheet of glass
I can see inside of you
You look and see yourself only in the mirror
I look inside you and see the soul within
You tidy your hair and think which way to hold it
I look inside you, your hair does not matted at all
You think are you getting fatter or are you too thin
I look within and you are just right
You wish you were taller or smaller
I just see perfection within
You think about your clothing
I just see your smile
You think about your colour matching
I just see all the colours of the rainbow within
You think which shoes match these clothes
I just see everything including your perfect nose
You look sideways does you bum stick out
I laugh, you are a product of genes after all
You pluck one last eyebrow
I smile, so much messing with perfection
You wonder will it be a rejection again
I hope you remember you are never rejected by me
You hope you’ll get the job, the man, the whatever
Sancho Panza was Isabella’s driver, Sancho Panza was not his real name but he had been christened it and it stuck. His real name is, but I cannot even remember and I’m telling his story. You see Sancho Panza was one of the native people, strong incredible strong, not too tall but in his case very very wide. When Isabella went to a fancy hotel he carried everything, just as a mountain donkey does, so one joker decided to call him Sancho Panza, and it stuck. He’d worked for her for 10 years now and he was her Sancho Panza. Isabella apologized, she was a lady after all.
Isabella was from Spanish Nobility who’d conquered Peru all those years ago, and like her name she was pious, but she hid it well, she wanted to appear a carefree European style person. However Sancho Panza could see her saying the Rosary in his rear view mirror. So he was proud to be her servant, he’d join in silently saying the Rosary with her as her drove the Limousine from place to place. Isabella’s family owned a Hotel company hence all the driving from place to place.
Isabella was 27 now and he was 10 years older, but looked much older than that, his face carved from stone. Isabella had a secret, and that is why she had decided not to marry. Yes she had a few suitors, some nice, some kind, some just wanting her family’s millions. Sometimes she come running to the car and demanded Sancho Panza just drove, get away from here, get away from here. Sancho could see the tears in her eyes, but he was just Sancho Panza it was not his place to ask what was making her sad. So Sancho Panza prayed to Saint Martin de Porres to take her tears away and replace them with tears of laughter. Saint Rose of Lima was also roped in. If she chose to be like you Santa Rosa so be it, but please no tears, I cannot take tears. Just let her be happy.
So his life continued, driving here there and everywhere, stopping in the staff quarters and sleeping in the worst hotel bedroom, while she had the Presidential suite. Now to pass the time Sancho Panza placed music on the Limousine stereo, which as you can imagine was excellent. Sancho Panza discovered Andrea Bocelli and was about to switch it off when Isabella entered the car. No keep it on its so beautiful, and that was the first thing that broke down the wall between them. So as he drove Andrea Bocelli sung while Isabella did some paperwork in the back of the Limousine.
Now Sancho Panza had been brought up by his abuelita in Lima, after his parents died when an overcrowded bus they were on fell off a mountain. So Sancho Panza sent her money and paid flying visits when he could. Isabella was happy, and she noticed him looking at the sign which led to where his abuelita live. My abuelita lives there said Sancho Panza, pay her a visit then I can stay in the car, Isabella suggested. And that is how another piece of the wall came crumpling down.
Sancho Panza’s abuelita was on her knees praying when he entered her house. It was on the tv, this woman in Birmingham Inglaterra asked for prayers, she asked in many languages, incluso Espanol. A butcher has been shot while defending everybody, mira mira a la television, and Sancho Panza could see CNN replaying it over and over. A butcher saved the lives of everybody, including, a grandmother, her daughter in law, her grandchild, and the unborn baby inside her, as well as several other people. But while overcoming 3 gunmen single handedly he’d been shot 3 times.
And that is why an abuelita was on her knees tearing through the Rosary, because a request for prayers had been made in Spanish, by the grandmother herself. In countries all around the world grandmothers were praying in many many languages. You see the grandmother had learnt the Rosary in a different languages when she’d been on Pilgrimages. So united in prayer abuelitas the world over were praying.
So Sancho Panza fell to his knees in prayer. Meanwhile Isabella needed the bathroom so she slipped into the house. When she came to the living room afterwards she saw them praying and CNN replaying the scene, it was an international story today on an otherwise slow news day. Instinctively Isabella fell to her knees, the abuelita passed her a plain wooden set of Rosary beads.
After an hour the abuelita had to get up, her knees were hurting on the concrete floor. As she leant on Sancho Panza and Isabella to get herself up she knocked them both over, so Isabella landed on top of Sancho Panza. Their eyes met and lingered, they both blushed. Something stirred inside Isabella, she felt it but did not understand. She had never thought of Sancho Panza as anything but a loyal driver, though friendship was growing due to Andrea Bocelli, no at that instant a Mustard Seed had been planted. They got to their feet and both avoided eye contact, they both looked the tv, and beside the tv were statues of San Martin de Porres and Santa Rosa. A statue cannot talk, but the abuelita noticed, and though it was a mad idea she would start praying for it.
As they drove away they both avoided saying anything, Isabella had literally fallen for Sancho Panza. And there it would have ended. The next month Sancho was driving her back from a dinner and dance at the very poshest hotel her family had just opened when Sancho spotted the tears falling in his rear view mirror. He’d seen her sad before, it always seemed after she’d met some suitor, but now the tears would not stop.
So Sancho Panza stopped the Limousine, you are too beautiful to be crying, look at the beauty in the stars, look at that shooting star. Sancho Panza’s heart was breaking, to see her crying after his 10 years of driving for her. The dam broke, I thought he’d be the one, I thought he would understand. Understand what? I cannot have children, and she cried even more. This was too much for Sancho Panza to bear, he got out of the driver’s seat and went and sat in the back beside her.
I am just a burro, I am a donkey called Sancho Panza but this burro is proud to be your servant, and maybe your friend, a real friend someday in the future. But today I tell you under all these stars and in front of Almighty God himself, no man is worthy of you if any man thinks all you are is a baby making machine. You are a beautiful woman who deserves better. Isabella stopped crying for a second and kissed him on the cheek.
Sancho Panza got back into the driving seat and drove her home in silence. Had he said the wrong thing, would she sack him after 10 years?
In the morning came the answer, his abuelita had a knock at the door, it was a furniture van. A total change of furniture and a new bathroom. The delivery man handed the abuelita a hand written note. Forgive me, but your grandson was so kind to me I had to thank him in some small way, please accept this humble gesture. It was signed Isabella, your grandson’s FRIEND.
Sancho Panza smiled when Isabella got back into the car, you were too kind I did not do anything, I just stated the obvious. Isabella found herself leaning forward and kissing Sancho Panza on his cheek. Have you been drinking joked Sancho Panza. No, but thank you. And with that no more was said.
Now up in the mountains where Peru meets other countries there was another new hotel. They said it was bandit county, but they had a fast car, and Sancho Panza was a good driver. But that night, not even Saint Martin de Porres nor Santa Rosa could save them. After a successful opening Isabella decided to return to Lima for an important morning meeting, this meant travelling in the middle of the night.
Nails in the road brought the Limousine to a halt, Sancho Panza managed to avoid slamming into the mountainside. He then had to do things should never have to do in front of his Lady. There were four of them and it was all or nothing, one had a riffle so Sancho Panza hit him first. He was like a bucking burro kicking and fighting and scratching. Lock the car stay inside Isabella is all he screamed, she screamed but did as he said, she clutched her Rosary to her.
I will not describe what happen, but it was horrible and bloody. Isabella threw her money out of the window and they decided they had had enough, Sancho Panza had been defending her honour, not her money. Over his dead body would they hurt her in any way. Isabella threw her money out the window in a final act of desperation. As they left they threw rocks and one lucky shot hit Sancho Panza on the head. He fell bloodied into her arms.
Isabella found a flare in the boot and fired it. 40 minutes later help came. Sancho Panza apologised, did I do the right thing? Isabella cried, no you did not. This was the man she would marry, but was she good enough for him? Sancho Panza spent a week in hospital, his granny visited every day, she was driven in a limousine owned by Isabella’s company. Isabella visited, she was shaking all over. Sancho Panza can I ask you one thing, just one thing? Yes. Would you marry a girl like me, who could not give you children of your own?
Sancho Panzo replied only a fool would turn down a girl for that reason alone. Isabella licked her lips, then Sancho Panza will you marry me? Sancho Panza opened his arms wide from his hospital bed. That was his answer.
Isabella and Sancho Panza’s wedding was the biggest that year in Lima Peru. And what is Sancho Panza’s real name you may well ask, well it is Miguel the same as this writer telling the story. Sancho Panza and Isabella accepted that they could never have children of their own.But the abuelita did not, she prayed just for one pregnancy, just one pregnancy she begged for as she knelt on her Aixminster carpeted house. Isabella thought she deserved some comfort as she prayed.
So after a year of prayers everybody was amazed when Isabella announced that she was pregnant. Saint Martin de Porres and Santa Rosa answered the abuelita’s prayers, just one pregnancy was all she had. Isabella had baby boy whom she called Martin, she also had a baby girl whom she called Rosa. She had twins you see as sometimes prayers are answered twofold. And as my own mother and all Peru’s mothers will tell you, never underestimate the power of the Rosary.
the saint of the broom, my mother told a neighbour who had 3 sons, to pray to saint Martin
her 4th child was a daughter, named Martina of course, and my own confirmation name is Martin though our priest name me as Sancho Panza, the priest became a Bishop, I became a fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England TRUE
Chuck and Chase were film producers, it was not their real names, those had been forgotten over the years, all except by their aged mothers who lived next door. To the mothers they would always be, Simon and Garry, mail used to get misdirected because Simon and Garfunkel use to live nearby so the postman sometimes only half read the name. So Simon and Garry’s mail ended up with Simon and Garfunkel. They lived over the bridge next to the tannery, with a little creek full of discharged tanning liquid bubbling away. Simon, that’s Paul Simon used to come on over, humming a Shania Twain song. Here’s your mail boys he’d say, and go back home to finish his breakfast with Art. The idea for Bridge over Troubled Water came about due to his regular trips handing mail to the boys. He didn’t mention the pollution in the creek , it would have been too hard to get the right rhythm.
So Simon and Garry adopted new names, Chuck and Chase, which were very manly, but also perfect for their job as readers for film producers. Chuck if a script was bad and Chase if it was worth following up, hence Chuck and Chase. Simon and Garry were no more, as for Simon and Garfunkel they got their break and moved away. They did meet years later at the premier of The Graduate, Chuck and Chase were big by then too, mainly due to eating too much popcorn at screenings. But I’ve got ahead of myself.
Chuck looked at Chase and wondered why he’d chosen him, Chase looked at Chuck and knew why he chose him. He was the tic to his toc, perfect harmony like an Oris watch, though daily they wore Mickey Mouse watches, the nice ones were for show when they went out.
This script is far too long, I’m off to the toilet said Chuck taking the script with him. 20 minutes later her returned but scriptless. Chuck pronounced far far too long. So I flushed it away, the cheek of sending us something that long, a script should be under 120 pages, that was at least 145pages. Cuts, cuts and cuts.
You didn’t wipe your ass on it asked Chase concerned for his lover’s behind.
Well it was just so bad, I had to make a statement about how I felt, besides Cindy didn’t stock up on toilet tissue again, I had no alternative. I told you a Lesbian always makes a better cleaner.
But her boyfriend is so cute, they are both Korean what do you expect, ugly Koreans don’t exist, they mused. And he is a plumber and plumbers are like gold dust, especially as you block the toilet with crap scripts. And he does drive us about, the looks we get having him as a driver, it reflects well on us.
Have you got another script, Chase waved to the pile, at least 3 feet tall. So he tossed over another. La Cage au Folles don’t like the title, is it French, Americans can’t speak French, it says on the front it’s about a Gay man pretending to be straight. No throw it away, put it on the chuck pile, Chuck. But we are like that, WE haven’t come out. But would you want to watch a film about us. NO they said in unison, and laughed like drains. And that is how they missed that one.
Besides we are known for our ACTION films, do you think Clint or Sly or Arnie would like us if they knew we were gay. Chase was silent and blushed, what is it tell me, tell me now, I know you are hiding something. They know, I told them, it slipped out at the Producer’s Ball, I was in the Men’s Room drying my hands and I pumped into Clint by accident. I said sorry and he said it was fine, we are all buddies in his industry, then he winked, and so did Sly and Arnie. It’s the New Year, so make a resolution, you can come out, we’ve been making bets as to when you’d come out. 50,000 is in the pool already. I did not know where to look, Sly bless his heart was the first to apologise, sorry, when YOU are ready, then YOU are ready. And that was 15 years ago. Why you think the 3 of them are so kind to us, it’s their way of saying sorry for kind of ambushing me. How much is in the pool now, 100,000 I heard tell. And who gets the money, nobody, Sly, Clint and Arnie insisted it go to the Rainbow Fund.
Ok as it’s the Producer’s ball next month we’ll come out then. What’s this script, The Producers, I like that title. Mel Brooks, never heard of him. Springtime for Hitler, a camp Hitler. How would we get any Jewish investors for it. No, just put that on the chuck file.
Now Hollywood is one big happy family. So at the Producers’ Ball Clint, Arnie and Sly all wore drag, in fact DRAG was the theme. So when Chase announced that Chuck and he were GAY and were coming out, the whole audience all said “THANK GOD FOR THAT” Maybe one day a Gay man will run for President, but that’d be Science Fiction.
Mel Brooks turned up with two Jewish ladies on his arms, ancient investors, they had faith in me, in my The Producers. He introduced them to Chase and Chuck, in fact it was their own mothers, but they all denied knowing each other. Simon and Garfunkel had come to play at the event, in a break from playing they came over to Chuck and Chase, Simon and Garry so great to see you again. Who asked Mel Brooks? Simon and Garfunkel explained, here’s our new friend Ann, she takes her clothes off in the Graduate, have you met Mel Brooks they asked? Ann denied knowing him.
The moral of the story is, just be yourself, be happy as you are, and who you are. And if you are a film producer, Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England has a great big pile of stuff you should read and produce. Or do you want Chase and Chuck to beat you to the drawer?
