The Cat in a box

well the pain eased so I got the story done

The Cat in a Box ©

By

Michael Casey

Totoro is a naughty cat, old Mrs Murphy knew that, when his owner passed on Mrs Murphy inherited the cat, and Totoro never sat on a mat. Totoro was a Ninja climbing cat who wanted to climb and explore and did things galore like no other cat before.

Mrs Murphy would find Totoro asleep and smiling all over the place, hiding here and there, anywhere it was warm, Totoro was a cat after all, so she knew where the warm places were. Totoro was also very nosey too, so she opened every cupboard with her nose and toes, she even jumped into the fridge when the door was left open too long.

She was such a naughty cat, but she was so beautiful, and her fur so soft, and Mrs Murphy loved to have her sit on her lap and watch tv together. Now Mrs Murphy had a divan bed with drawers in, so Totoro taught herself to open the drawers and climb inside to sleep, or climb past the drawer and sleep on the floor under the bed. It was a nice warm place, apart from when Mrs Murphy farted in her sleep and her pollution drifted downwards under the bed.

Totoro loved Mrs Murphy and Mrs Murphy loved Totoro.  There was one other person that loved Mrs Murphy or rather her rings on her fingers, she had no bells on her nose or is it toes? Jack the local bad boy had just got out of Winson Green Prison, and he wanted some quick cash for crack. So as he knew the area he thought Mrs Murphy would be an easy target, as she had no dog to bite him.

So he climbed the drainpipe and slide open Mrs Murphy’s bedroom window. She was easy prey, not a Miss Lump with a baseball bat under her bed to keep robbers at bay. Mrs Murphy awoke suddenly, Jack the lad was leaning over her. Things could get out of hand, there was danger in the air. Indeed there was, Totoro did not being woken  up at night while dreaming of 10 kills of rats in a night, lining them up in a row on the doorstep, like a good cat does, and in Totoro’s case he had really done so.

Totoro sneaked out like a thief from under the bed, Mrs Murphy was scared, and who was this smelly lad. Mrs Murphy smelt nice, but this lad smelt bad, and it was too bad for him. Totoro leapt from the darkness and scratched him on his bare legs, Jack was wearing his cycling shorts, his bike was his getaway vehicle. But bare legs exposed to a Ninja cat were such a great target.

Jack spun around and chased the cat out of the bedroom, Mrs Murphy got out of bed and put the chair against the door. Totoro led Jack into the next bedroom and hid in a high cupboard. Totoro thought this was a good game, Jack cursed and banged open every cupboard in the spare bedroom. Then he opened the high cupboard and felt about. He got Totoro by the tail and pulled her out, only it was an old belt from decades ago. As for Totoro she leapt and slid down Jack’s face, claws out. It was only a belt but for Totoro there had to be solidarity with cat’s tails, real and imaginary. So Jack was now a scar face, as he screamed in pain.

Totoro raced down the landing, but then stopped at the top of the stairs, one of her favourite positions in the house with a commanding view, though at night it was pitch black. Totoro just lay there, waiting for Jack. Then as he approached she jumped up and scratched his balls, though breaking into old ladies homes at night any real man with balls would never do.

Jack fell down the stairs, so Totoro leapt and landed on face, scratching as she bounced over him. She raced to the cat flap next, with a bleeding and very angry Jack after her. He unbolted the back door, just as lights were going on in Tumbledown Street, Jack’s screams had woken up the neighbours. Mrs Murphy wisely stayed in her bedroom. Totoro raced on, a plan in her mind, she turned left and race up the garden path to number 88, they always had windows open, so Totoro jumped inside.

In seconds Totoro’s friends, Tom and Jerry were released through the door. You see Tom and Jerry were Police dogs that lived with Sgt. Dick the Policeman, Totoro had led Jack straight to the police. He’d be back in Winson Green Jail hours, Totoro did take another swipe at Jack, and that was for waking her up in the middle of a good dream.

Mrs Murphy was so happy, and Sgt. Dick did say there was a reward for his capture.  So Mrs Murphy spent the money on Ocado and had a little party for her neighbours. As for Jack he was in a rat infested jail, he even wished Totoro was there to protect him. And where was Totoro, she was asleep in a cupboard in the spare room.

persianBBUPORTUGUESE BBU2019China BBU-convertedChina BBU-convertedВ поисках индийской принцессыWydanie polskie Still Alive 2015win Wiersze dla wszystkichThe Polish TranslationsThe Polish Translationspolish Guardian AngelPolish Edition of Still Alive 2015Michael Casey The Polish Translations페이지 1 Quick Stories KOREAN아직도 살아있는 2015ページ1 Quick Stories in Japaneseインドのプリンセスを検索するにはインドのプリンセスを検索するには – CopyЭТО МОЙ ЛИФТ ADСтраница 1shoplife spanishJapanese elevator AdvertBBU GermanBBU French50 Spanish Examples50 Spanish Examplesbbumar2008-en-zh-cn-1BBUMar2008.en.zh-CN (1)BBU in HebrewBBU in Arabic300 وmy new bedBBU Russian Translation microsoft wordBBU in KOREANBBU GermanBBU French50 Spanish ExamplesKOREAN TRANSLATION Still Alive 2015The Polish TranslationsSpanish BBU아직도 살아있는 2015아직도 살아있는 2015아직도 살아있는 2015

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2nd Aug 2019

2nd Aug 2019

just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water

or to write a new story


the pain monster has descended

chest, hips , head, at least it's not cancer

so I'll have to get back to you all with the new story

I cannot think straight, yes I can write a few lines here to you all

but to rattle through a story, I cannot manage that

one hour of concentration I cannot do

An hour ago I was okish, now I'm rubbish

A sine curve of pain my daughter calls it

So I'll be back later, there's 2000+ pieces to read here and loads on the Wordpress

so go dip your toes.

heads up

heads up, our cat Totoro has a new trick so it gave me an idea for a story, which I'll write in the morning. 

Story ideas are like wondermash or dilute pop.

I have the source idea then all I need is to sit down and it expands to fit the page, like a jack in the box that bursts out when you pull the trigger.

It is very quick, usually in an hour I'm done.

I do have 30 years experience now, and writing stories is the only thing I can do.

Apart from being a perfect male model, ok a sumo look alike.

you are all so unkind.

Thanks to Arab and Jewish readers not forgetting the Spanish speakers over on my Wordpress for reading my stuff.

Please tell all your friends via FB and WhatsApp about the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England. It's good for my spirits when I'm having a Pain Day. And maybe I'll get exposure and reward.

Though I'm not holding my breath.

Writers write because they have to, just as singers must sing.

The Bad Cat That Wasn’t ©

By

 Michael Casey

Totoro wasn’t a bad cat even though his owner thought she was, it was just that she got fed up of being a house cat, house cats led a boring life. It was nice being fed and having a nice litter tray by the back door, but Totoro wanted to see what was behind the back door. So she plotted to escape and have a look around the neighbourhood, she was allowed upstairs and down stairs and in the lady’s chamber, and if there was an attic or even a cellar she’d be allowed to go there too. But that was not enough for Totoro.

Totoro wanted to talk to the other cats and annoy that dog that lived over the hedge. She had watched all the goings on in the neighbourhood, but that was just through the window, she wanted to join in and be part of it. Cat tv was no good, she wanted to be part of the action. One day her owner Miss Lump who was rather plumb left the bathroom window open to let the steam out. Only the cat got out too, Miss Lump who was a teacher had lost her cat, though some of her students thought she was a witch who rode on a broomstick with a cat.

Miss Lump did not notice as she was busy making harder and harder maths tests for her Year8 students, they would thank her for it in the future, even if they called her Witch behind her back, or other words that rhythmed with Witch. In the morning Miss Lump heard a noise it was Totoro asking to be let in, Totoro was sitting on the porch canopy beneath Miss Lump’s bedroom window. Miss Lump was surprised to see her cat there, but she realised she needed to allow Totoro some freedom.

From that night onwards she kept her bedroom window half open, so Totoro could come and go as she pleased. Miss Lump did have a metal baseball bat under her bed just in case any burglars came along, she was 110kilos and knew how to swing a bat. Despite her size she was still pretty as she had red hair and a very nice smile, when she wasn’t setting maths tests for her students.

So Totoro became a night shift cat, coming and going as he pleased, she went to see the nasty dog first of all, she jumped out of the hedge straight onto the dog’s back, from that night onwards the neighbourhood slept better. This was the first miracle Totoro performed. Totoro visited the old ladies of the neighbourhood and tested their milk for them, just to make sure it was good enough for them. She didn’t want any of the old ladies to drink bad milk after all, she soon became the official milk tester for 4 old ladies.

Totoro spent more and more time away from her home and Miss Lump, but Miss Lump knew Totoro was ok so she did not worry. Totoro still managed to come back and finish his food and use his litter. Totoro may travel far and wide but she always poohed at home.

A little boy had come to the neighbourhood, he never went out to play, Totoro went to see him, Totoro looked at him through his window, for some reason the child slept downstairs with a bottle and wires connected. Totoro did not know what they were, maybe he was part Gerbil, he had a bottle and wires. If Totoro could speak he’d ask Miss Lump to explain.

One evening Totoro sneaked into the boy’s house to see him, the boy’s face was so pale and white, he had spilt some milk on his clothes, Totoro jumped on his lap and started licking the milk up. As he was licking the milk up, the boy smiled and laughed, his mother heard the laughter and came to see what was happening. To hear her son laugh was such joy for his mother, her son was sick so very sick.

Totoro became a regular visitor to Tomas’s house, Totoro had his regulars, Totoro was a travelling cat who was there to be stroked and loved by everywhere in the neighbour. Totoro seemed to know that Tomas needed him more than the rest, so she just moved in. She loved sleeping at the bottom of Tomas’s bed, and Totoro loved her too, she purred like a taxi when he stroked her.

Tomas’s mom rang the phone number on Totoro’s collar, Miss Lump understood, and when she discovered Tomas was in Year8 she shed a tear, he’d never finish all the maths test she set for her children. And Tomas never did, 3 months later he died on a Tuesday morning, still stroking Totoro, in her sorrow and pain Tomas’s mother rang to share the sad news with Miss Lump.

Miss Lump went to school and passed out the test papers, as the Year8 children did the biggest and hardest maths test of their lives Miss Lump sat there crying. The children looked up from their test papers and immediately they loved Miss Lump to death, they tried their hardest because they loved her. After the test was over Miss Lump explained about Totoro and Tomas, then it was the turn of the children to cry. A cat may have 9 lives but we only have one said Miss Lump, then they all cried together.

Tomas left a legacy all of Miss Lump’s maths group decided to live a bit for him as he didn’t have a chance to finish his life. In fact the maths group became the most brilliant maths group ever.  Tomas’s funeral was so sad with lots of children in attendance, Totoro’s friends also came as they all shared him and so they should be there for Tomas too.

Tomas went straight to Heaven, he was met by Saint Martin de Porres who handed him a cat, the cat looked exactly like Totoro. Had Totoro exchanged one of her lives so Totoro would not be lonely in Heaven. I don’t know, we’ll have to ask Saint Martin de Porres when we get there, if we are good.

Now there is evil in the world, now though Totoro was safe in Heaven with Tomas, here on earth there is evil. One night a burglar who had been looking around the area for somewhere to steal noticed Miss Lump’s open bedroom window. So with a hop and a skip he was in her bedroom. Luckily for Miss Lump Totoro and her 8 remaining lives was fast asleep at the bottom of her bed.

Totoro leapt and scratched the burglar’s face, the thief threw Totoro and Totoro landed on a tin of paint which Miss Lump had been using to touch up the paint in her bedroom. Miss Lump awoke to see an uninvited man in her bedroom. So she reached for her baseball bat and battered the thief till he fell out her bedroom window, breaking an arm and a leg.

Miss Lump looked at Totoro, she had saved her, though now Totoro was covered in paint. Tomas watching from Heaven begged Saint Martin de Porres to save Totoro’s life, even if it meant Totoro lost another one of his lives. Saint Martin de Porres smiled, he had a soft spot for animals after all, Miss Lump was desperate for a Vet to save her cat.

The Police came to take the burglar away, via hospital and an emergency RSPCA Vet arrived too. Covered in paint was a terrible thing for a cat, but Miss Lump wanted her cat to live. Several of Totoro’s other owners arrived all the noise of police and ambulance had woken them up. They did not care what it cost they would all chip in. Totoro had spread so much love they just had to thank her.

So Totoro lost another life, but the Vet gained a wife. Totoro was shaved and had to wear a cone to stop her from licking herself and the poisonous paint, but with love and care and despite the lack of hair she would survive.

The Vet’s name was Tomas Martin, no I’m not lying, his name was Tomas Martin. He immediately fell in love with Miss Lump, and he just loved maths too, multiplication was his absolute favourite. They went on to have 7 children the same number as lives Totoro had left.

Saw a good film on tv tonight

Saw the film Wonder Woman tonight it was made in 2017,

the guy from Star Trek was also in it too.

The end was a bit over long, typical DC comics

But I'd give it an 8 or even a 9

So go watch it

As I write this I'm thinking Wonder Woman would be a great title to write about
so I may do that tomorrow 1st August 2019

In The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker Mrs Murphy Patrick's mother is based on my own mother of course, plus her 3 sisters. That's why it's to the power of 4, and you'll agree when you read the book, its on Amazon Kindle in English. Please buy a copy.

Today over on my Wordpress Arabic, Chinese, Spanish and Portuguese translations are being read, and Russian over here on Blogger.

5 separate languages for
the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England's   words

Come on Big Publishers come and join the Party, I have work I want to do.
And University beckons for my daughter, so all funds gratefully received.
 https://www.amazon.co.uk/l/B00571G0YC

Today's Languages are

Russian, Chinese and Arabic, Portuguese

you are just some of the languages reading my stuff this morning/evening

So thanks to you all

Tinnitus is still a pain, delaying sleep till dawn, at least I have some good music

playing in the background as  I try to sleep

I may write something later on after I've read the Press

what new lies Trump comes up with today

The Dems need to start beating the drum today

VOTE HIM OUT

Put it on Billboards

By the way some education for Trump, who invented the Concentration Camp?

It was the British in the Boer War in South Africa

Sadly Ignorance and Abuse of Language is all he has mastered

Spinning the Wheel

Spinning the Wheel ©

By

Michael Casey

I’m having a lazy day, well apart from going down the hill to the shops for toothpaste in our local Pound Shop. Save a penny and it soon becomes a pound. Smoke too much and it soon becomes throat cancer. The girl in the Pound Shop sounded like an old woman who’d been smoking for years, I advised her to save her money in a tin and when she had 500 to go on a holiday, it’d be better for her. I hope she follows the advice, I could hear her smoking habit as opposed to smelling the smoke.

And what has this got to do with anything? Well life is like spinning the wheel at a fair, depending on where it lands you get a prize or nothing at all, a rubbish prize or if you are really lucky a really nice one. My brother used to say life was a game of roulette, and in a way he was right, though that’s not totally true either. You can stack the deck or “cheat”. You can stack the deck by putting a pound in an old coffee under the sink, so you are not tempted to spend it. Then when it’s time to go down the pub for a birthday or the monthly office thing you have extra funds to spend. It’s in the coffee jar under the sink. You are the Wise Virgin whereas your mates are the Foolish Virgins.

And yes I know many Foolish Virgins, I grew up with them in the 1970s and 1980s. Yes it’s fun getting drunk and other stuff I’ll leave to your imagination, but personally I like my comfort. Also because I’ve never been much of a drinker, I’d go home and leave the lads carry on. I had my spending money in cash so when it was gone, spent on beer for others, then I’d go home. Very self-disciplined  I suppose, or boring, but I’d hear all the stories on the Monday morning.

Life is choices, do you snog that girl and more, or do you go home and  study for your AAT or your electricians qualification. If you are lucky, the spark between you and the girl will endure. Or she’ll test your electrical knowledge as  you examine her fuse box or trip switches. Naked Study is a great idea, writers of course have help sharpening their pencils, and what they do with the shavings is a big mystery.

You can make up your own metaphors for this and that and of course the other, as you Naked Study with the girl or boy of your choice. Once you  are qualified in many many ways, then you can afford to go out more and buy more stuff for the flat. However if the study process has been fun, then you won’t stop till you are both Phds and fully fledged indoor Nudists.

Professor John Thomas will today lecture on Electronics, and afterwards he’ll take a few questions. How did you master such a difficult subject? I studied in the nude he replies. Everybody laughs, then there is the sound of footsteps. It’s Professor Mary-Beth Phd in Applied Nuclear Science. We just got naked and applied ourselves to the subject in hand. He was only rewarded when he got things right, and she was only rewarded when she got things right. More laughter.

Then they hold up their latest book, a joint effort. Study made simple, so simple even a nudist knows everything. And on the rear cover a photo of their rears.

So I spun the wheel and this story came out, I didn’t even have this idea in my head. Life is not a straight path, and already you ae making up your own jokes about that. Life is strange, life is full of fear and hopes and prayers. The Wheel of Life spins, and it’s up to you how you choose to react to it. Think before you act, and be happy with the results whatever they are. Failing that study more, there is nothing worse than a naked mind, apart from a naked man’s hairy behind.

29th July 2019 Updated Profile

I've updated this today 29th July 2019
I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ...

I've done loads of writing, 1,500,000 Words worth over 30 years now
But before I started I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4  for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger
Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio
He'd be nearly 100 now if he is still alive, so say a prayer for him

I almost immediately had a hit, a play called Shoplife was accepted but not finally produced by a Theatre
The Kenneth More Theatre, so thank them for sparing you all. This was back in 1989

I also had other high praise, so I ignore all the nasty negative people  who use too much alliteration
I also ignore those who just cannot write, making money does not mean you can tell a story
Pick your own famous writer, who you avoid

Today's world has much print, but a page will not refuse ink, as my dad used to say

I tend to write Comedy as I'd rather make you laugh than cry
I must have written over 2000 short pieces of writing
My first book ,a full length comedy/drama is The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker
You can read translations of it here on this site(Wordpress)
https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/
Up to 7 different translations  have been read on the same day
This proves to me that the humour does travel
I have readers in over 60 countries now
Or its just a hit man on the run, or bored Navy Seals
It may also mean that only non English Speakers like my stuff
I did get 21,000 readers in 3 weeks for the Polish  version of In Search of an Indian Princess
which is basically the final 3 chapters of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker
I also had a low budget  film producer take a look at it
Book Publishers have said I've made the commissioning editor laugh
So close but no cigar is the story of my life
As for my life, I was a computer operator for a market research company into alcohol sales
I also was a concierge and an Esol English teacher in an Islamic school
I can always make somebody talk or laugh, I am an 18 stone George Clooney look alike
Laugh of Die so to speak
I believe my short stories could be used to teach English, just package them up correctly or App them
What else, I was brawn and brains, I used to be as strong as an Ox, now I just smell like one
We have a cat called Totoro, my daughters wanted a pet I said they could have a dog if I died , or a cat if
I had a heart attack. A few weeks after that in Jan 2015 I had an Unplanned Quadruple  Heart Bypass , it was supposed to be a triple but it ended up a Quadruple,  33% extra free so to speak.
I also have arthritis and other hindrances that hobble my body and give me pain galore.
But my mind is free, though having read my stories you may wish I didn't bother
But I'll ignore you, and carry on regardless.
That's the end of the tidy version of my life, if you want more come and buy me a Stella Artois and all will be revealed. Though 12 pints a year is my ration.
To finish here's the list of my 18 books, so far:-
1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker
2.Shoplife
3.Essays and Plays
4.Blogs 2011
5.300 and Not OUT
6.Shorts 2013
7.More Shorts 2014
8.Quick Stories
9.Still Alive 2015
10.Undiscovered Words 2016
11.Still Smiling 2017
12.Altogether Now
13.New Horizons
14.14 Up
15.15 Down
16.Sweet Sixteen
17. 17 Again
18. 18 New Views
My 19th book will be The 19th Hole  and Donald Trump will review it when I finish at Christmas.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC  to buy ebooks
ok, that's your lot, this reads serious, but generally I refuse to be serious, though I do heckle the news for 50 years now

TTFN
Michael Casey