Friday, 11 November 2016

Perfect Christmas Presents even Putin and Trump are reading them

Perfect Christmas Presents even Putin is reading them

11/11/2016 Books by Michael Casey
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What's in a Title?



What’s in a Title? ©

By Michael Casey

Today is 11th Nov 2016, and that’s a special day, it is also the day after I uploaded my latest 2 books to Amazon Kindle, my latest tomes though TOME is a women’s fashion brand in USA, but as  I am a cross dresser, I am just so cross in the morning when I get dressed, from my nude orangutan  state to my high heels and so forth, maybe I’ll call my next tome Clyde, if you know your films  you may be smiling now.  Or just concerned that a hairy beast dresses  in women’s clothes, it is a British tradition, google PANTO.

Now where was I, Fox News always has folks on pushing their latest book and the titles are just so long. Obama or how his 3rd term was lost by a leak from Wiki, the untold story of the 2016 election by A. M.R. Putin. When really Obama 3 Shafted by Putin  would be a much more snappier title. My own books have the year in most of the titles, so forgive me for that, and yes the next book will have 2018 in the title, and by the way Still Smiling 2017 is now available on Amazon Kindle.

So what will my title be, let me think 2018 New Horizons, yes 2018 New Horizons. And why will I call it that, and this is the very first story for it by the way, because hopefully we’ll move house by then. Or I’ll be dead and buried at sea, if anybody wishes to dance on my grave I hope they can swim.

So I have the title, all I need is an invite to Fox News, I do have an idea for a story and Shepherd Smith will feature as a tourist in Old Forge and Singing Anvil where he saves a load of liquor and deliberately does not gain a Pulitzer Prize, why, to keep a secret and save the liquor. And is it true the strongest thing Shep ever drinks are milk shakes? The story will be in Tears for a Butcher, if ever I get around to putting it on paper, I am waiting for Rupert Murdoch to send me a tape recorder, but maybe he’s busy eating fish and chips out of old newspapers, the ones he does not own.

I have to switch the oven on soon to make some Yorkshire Puddings, me and the girls will have them as snacks when they get home from school. In the meantime I’m listening to Jean Michel Jarre’s Revolutions while I talk to you. And yes I got them in Aldi when I was out earlier, Totoro our cat likes them too.  So that’s about it for today and you are reading what will be the 1st story in 2018 New Horizons, though it may be a year before it appears. It will be my lucky 13th book.
So please keep on reading my stuff, North, South, East and West wherever you are in the world. I would like some Japanese and Korean readers so tell your friends, and South America too. 

I have some Russian readers already, it’s a cross dressing group from the Politburo in the Kremlin, you would not believe how great they look and how great they march. Only joking Vladimir, and if you want to send me a big Russian hat for the Winter I promise to wear it once, though Totoro our cat might to try and mate with it. Stay happy everybody, Laughter Brings down Walls, especially in the Mind.




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Wednesday, 9 November 2016

Saving Your Rubbish

Saving Your Rubbish ©

By Michael Casey

I was  thinking about what to talk about tonight when my eye fell on a bag of rubbish ready for our recycle bin, so I thought that’s a good idea. Recycling is a new thing, when I grew up all the rubbish went into our 2 metal dustbins, and once a week the singing binmen would arrive up our entry and hoist the heavy bin on their shoulder and tip it into the dustcart in the street, before returning with the empty bin.

 There was noise and gaiety about them, like a happy invading army.  This was in the days before people locked and bolted their entries with an extra door at the street side of the entry. It was in the days when there was a rat a tac tac  on the back door and a door to door salesman would try and sell you something from a suitcase. I seem to remember my mum bought a clothes brush to clean the fluff our clothes.

Funny how these memories rise from the brain all because I look at the bag of rubbish ready for the recycling bin. What I really want to talk about is Saving  Your Rubbish, not recycling but saving it. You know some save wrapping paper as it’s too good to throw away, which is great so long as you don’t use it to cover a present back to the person who gave you a present.

Wrapping paper can be used to cover exercise books, making them really funky. You could even use it to wallpaper a small room, a study perhaps, the average “study” is only 8 x 6, or the really small 3rd bedroom in some houses, I know because I’m watching the property market in the vain hope of finding something nice and affordable. You could end up with a spaceship look, all silver paper on the walls, which reminds me I actually did that once on the girls’ bedroom.

Back to the my rubbish, I have to admit I am a hoarder, I’ll save plastic bags from stuff I’ve bought, you can always use a plastic bag, either for your shopping in future, or a little plastic bag can be used to seal the remote control in, thus saving it from all manner of pizza and Heinz tomato ketchup, and fizzy drinks. See you’ll all be covering your remote controls now.

My wife unleashed a fancy mop thing today so I found a plastic bag to keep the mop head under control after she’d  finished using it. Mind you some plastic bags are just too small to use, so they go in the recycle bin. 40 years ago maybe my mother once was cleaning our drains, which we shared with the house next door, as they were blocked and our local plumber was too lazy to come and assist.

 I can remember her with her arm down the drain as far as her elbow and beyond, then suddenly lots and lots of small plastic bags appeared. She removed them from the drain and the drain was free again, mum wondered what all the little plastic bags were, she did not know what they were, she was a mother of six. I can also remember her washing her arm in our kitchen sink with dad pouring Jeyes Fluid all over her arm. Jeyes Fluid being the strongest disinfectant there is in England, its thick as browny/black and it goes “glug” as you pour it, rather like cough syrup for drains.

Paint brushes used to be saved as well, in an old coffee jar full of water, they would be left behind the garden shed to rot, we were always disappointed that we needed to go down the road to the DIY shop to replace them many many months later. Nowadays I’ll buy brushes from the Pound Shop and just throw them away.  Which is what we did recently after a friend finished painting the bathroom for us.

There are other things that we save, old clothes that we have grown out of, the girls’ clothes for example, they cannot be throw away as granny in Shanghai has sent them over. Finally the clothes are, free at last, free at last, I bag them up in some of the plastic bags that I save and live in a hippy commune under kitchen sink, and then I give them away. I either leave them on the garden wall or I’ll stand guard until I spot a family with children, then like a rabid dog clown, I’ll bounce out and insist that these clothes are great and they really should have them.

In actual fact the girls’ clothes are really nice with little wear on them, so its nice that another child gets to enjoy them. Remember I am a gay dad and I have picked some of their clothes, for my Singapore and Russian readers, I am not gay, it’s a figure of speech, it means I know about Fashion, with 3 girls in the house and a female cat it was inevitable.

Besides I am  just too ugly to be gay, dressing up in women’s clothing, now that’s another matter,  but I’ve side-tracked myself. I hope you can keep with the chain of thought, otherwise you must have a really strange view of me as I sit here talking to you, I’m sure some of you are thinking if you ever come to England you’ll stay as far away as possible from me and Birmingham.  

It’s getting late so I need to finish now, but one thing that I save most of all is my Memory, my stories from my extended life. Extended life because without the Unplanned Quadruple heart bypass, I wouldn’t be sat here talking to the World. So its nearly 2 years of extra time, a Manchester United mach would give you 30 mins, and be far more interesting I know, but I do have more hair than Rooney, and one day I’ll put him in a story and he’ll say I’m going to buy a dictionary.

Its when a really posh woman crushes the French and curses them in totally obscene French for not respecting Big Sid the Butcher the man who saved her daughter, you’ll have to wait until Tears for a Butcher is written. If Rupert Murdoch ever reads this, can you send me a tape recorder or a Legal Secretary and I could get it all down on paper in 12 weeks. See it’s nice to have dreams, to have something for the future, saving your “rubbish” which one day might be useful, if only to entertain the kids on a rainy day. A story is life, its fun, it should be shared, for it is our own individual beating heart.



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Sudden Changes in Your Life



Sudden Changes in Your Life ©

By Michael Casey

Back in 1977 around this time of year my life changed suddenly, my dad would have been 56 at the time, I’m a couple of years old than that now, though much younger looking, well in my imagination anyway, if not in the mirror. As I speak I’m sat in my chair in my house PJs and dressing gown, trying to stay warm before I tidy myself up and go off to Aldi. I even got an  unopened email from somebody from Aldi saying they were trying to contact me, but it’s probably a hoax as I only use my Hotmail account.

I remember my dad shaving in the kitchen sink, as our bathroom was so cold, he was offering me reassurance that something good would turn up. It did a   21 year job as a computer operator. It was 6 months before I got my big job, so I spent my time reading and listening to music. In them days every Thursday and The Birmingham Evening Mail was when the new batch of jobs came out, there was no such thing as online job adverts.

The sudden change altered the course of my life, for the better, my last day at that job was in fact my dad’s birthday. He has so strong, as was mum, but they had to be. Now today is the day after the night before, and I’ll follow the 1st President Bush’s Prayers, he left a note for the next president saying he was praying and cheering on the future president, as we all should, because we all want USA to be prosperous and kind.

So what would I say to Donald, nothing really, as he and I share one thing, we can only be ourselves. I would say take time to breath, as I say to my daughters 5 seconds of thought before you open your mouth, or 5 seconds to look about to view the situation before  you speak or act is what makes the difference between a rash man and a wise man. Just 5 seconds.

I’ve worked in a hotel so I know that you have to react quickly, I tell my girls they should work in a hotel for 6 months  it’ll teach them life skills.  Donald knows all about hotels so if he has learnt all the skills then really he should be well equipped to be a President. Yes I have reservations, no pun intended, but if he has knowledge of all the aspects of a hotel, from doorman to General Manager then he has a great skill set. If he’s just a financier and no knowledge of how to work on the floor in a hotel, then I just hope he has a good crew.

 As for Donald’s son, who looks so tall, I’d just say don’t be disappointed that the White House is not as plush as Trump Tower, ok for you it might be like slumming it, though Pres. Bush did say it was like a  7star hotel. Stay grounded and don’t let everything overwhelm you, even if dad is so rich, though only ½  as rich as he claims, 4 big ones is still a lot richer than I’ll be. I don’t know will dad and the secret service allow you to have sleepovers, but you should ask, and ring up Prince Harry for advice on how to handle things. Or even ask Obama’s girls, that’s if they’ll talk to you.

With sudden changes you have to have something that stays the same, like your old slippers that you have by your bed, or your gloves and scarf, or the 1st watch you were given. There is always the need for continuity, so everything  is not alien, brand new things are nice, but not all the time, your mum and dad’s love should be the best and biggest thing you treasure.

When dad asks what’s new today, impress me son, as you have face time together. You might be asked for opinions on your mum’s latest fashion or help her with cross word puzzles, whatever it is in the Trump household that binds you together. I used to sit on the top step of the stairs and have a “social” with my mum before finally going to bed when I was 10 or so years old, it was a fixed point of love in my day. Now nearly 50 years on my young daughter gives me a goodnight kiss, even though sometimes I have not shaved that day.

A simple fixed point of private family time is so very important when everything crashes and bashes around you. It is the bedrock of everybody’s life the world  over, so Mr Trump and Family,  enjoy the ride as Bill Clinton said he did, but do remember that it’s the Rosebud Time which is always the most precious.












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