Taxes

Taxes ©

By Michael Casey

My dad used to say that money should circulate, that’s why its round. The government, any government wants money to roll into the taxman’s coffers. So we have all these new bright ideas from the politicians, we’ll have a toilet tax to drive millionaires around the Ubend. The more toilets you have the more tax  you’ll pay, you’ll be flush with success, so you’ll pay tax on it, or something rhyming with it. The bigger your garage the more tax you’ll pay, then there’ll be the tv tax, the home office know who has a tv, and we all pay tv licences, so your 42inch will mean even more tax, and as for your 3D forget it you’ll pay pay pay.

What more can we be taxed on?  How about a margarine tax, if you buy Clover  you’ll pay more tax than if you buy supermarket cheap brands. Then there is butter, don’t make me laugh, you like Kerry Gold, then prepare to lose your Gold. We had a window tax hundreds of years ago, now we’ll have a double glazing tax, if you can afford to have double glazing you must be super rich, so you will pay more tax, and if you have hardwood frames then you will hear TIMBER as your money is axed from you.  We already pay council tax, so nice big houses pay more, but how about being taxed more if you live in a crescent, or an avenue as that sounds posh, but   if you live in a cul de sac you get a discount. As for living in a caravan, those horrible things that slow us down on motorways, they get taxed double, just out of spite, and on that point all the population would support the  Chancellor.

All these taxes would be like a revolution, and voters would vote for anybody who says they will abolish them. Then once in power the bastards would be even worse, welcome to taxes, 50 shades of taxes without any pleasure.

  

The Voice

The Voice ©

By Michael Casey

A vocation is called a calling, a voice talks to us and then we listen, sometimes finally listen, then we embark upon a journey, it can be a spiritual journey, a physical journey, or a literal journey. How many people have a vocation nowadays? How do you know you have a vocation in the first place? You can be pushed or pulled into something, your family may encourage you, or put a gun against your head to force you to have a certain vocation.

The Irish in America became cops, my own cousin is a cop in Boston, being a cop is a good job, a steady job, and the police force is one big family after all, so it IS a good vocation.  What do cops’ kids become, they become cops too, or if they are girls their dads’ may encourage them to be lawyers, its safer and warmer too.

Why do we need this voice to call us? If we are to sacrifice or donate our lives to something we should have a pull towards it, it’s not just a job, it’s not just any job, a calling , a vocation IS our life.  We may all work in a call centre at some stage of our lives but it is not our life, yes I agree for some girls and in the main it is girls call centre work is their life, it suits them. What makes the vocation call out to us? In the Bible there is the passage where God calls out to the boy, 3 times God calls out and finally the boy after talking to his master waits and listens and replies to God, “here I am” or words to that effect, you can Google the Bible for yourself. So a vocation is like a magnet it pulls us towards it, and once we are attached, we are glued to it.

A vocation is like a lover or a wife, it’s our passion and it bears fruit, it is everything to us, me I write as you all know. Others may teach music to the choir in church, Betty teaches choir at my daughters’ church, she is 84 and still going strong, her passion for music keeps her alive, she pours music into all whom she teaches, it’s this kind of sharing that answers the call.

Learning to listen for the vocation, for the call,   is important too, life can be so busy they we cannot hear the call. We need to step back, to step away and let the force touch us, whatever we want or should I say whatever we could be will be revealed. Yes I know most of us do a job to feed and clothe us, only the lucky few do what they enjoy. As you know I write because it’s in me and I’ve not made a penny from it,  but I’ll always write because it’s my vocation. So after you’ve read this make some quiet time, have a pint of Stella or a mug or Horlicks and just get all mellow, listen to Barry Manilow or whatever gets you in the mood, and let rainbows fill your mind and fill your heart, and listen just listen to the whispers that’ll grow into a roar, for your vocation is calling  you.

Relax and Drink

Relax and Drink ©

By

Michael Casey

I need to relax, we all need to relax, we may have a pint of Stella and as it’s a couple of months since I did have a pint of Stella I’ll just make a mental point to have a pint or two of Stella, then I’ll go dry for 4 months . I’m not much of a drinker at all, 12 to 24 pints in a year. Please don’t laugh at me, I’m on the Pioneer side of drinking as opposed to the alcoholic side. It used to be the case in Ireland that ½ the population did not drink at all then the other half made up for it.

Our lodgers down the years were of the drinking side, Barney could barely stand as he stood by the back door, his rent money in hand, never missed. He enjoyed a drink or three, one Christmas he fell against his cooker and burnt all his back. My dad took him to hospital in Mr Morgan’s old Humber, Mr Morgan was drunk too, it was Christmas Eve after all. Mr Morgan was huge, on the scale of Humpty Dumpty, his belly brushed against the steering wheel, he was a taxi driver, lived a few doors up the road from our house. How they got there alive we’ll never know, I must have been 6 at the time. Dad was offered a lift back but he decided to walk. Decades later Barney lost a finger in an industrial accident, he got 5000 in compensation.  He pissed it up the wall but at least Piccaso would have been impressed by his artwork. Barney love a fag too, lots of them. All this explains how the average working man lived between the 60s and 90s, the bedsit land life. Barney lived till he was 83, my dad and my sister went to visit him and gave him a Birthday card, the next day he died. Such is life, his body went back home to Ireland, his bones could relax in the turf of home.

We all have ways of relaxing, sex, drugs, and rock and roll, or reading the Daily Telegraph. Whatever takes the pain/stress away then do it, but don’t frighten ladies and horses in the street, you could even vote Liberal, but maybe I’m stretching things a bit too far. We may paint, we may watch Glee or SUITS on tv, it takes us away from our daily lives , we are transported somewhere else. Sir Edward Heath used to sail, when its blowing up a gale you don’t think about petty ignorant disputes in Parlaiment, you are too busy trying to stay alive. Staying Alive makes me think of disco, do they have a disco in Parliament? Where all sorts can get up to all sorts, and end up in handcuffs, but that sounds too much like private lives.  So I’ll just finish with what Frankie said “ Relax, don’t do it…..”

feed the birds(c) by Michael Casey

just tried apple struddle, or rather fruit struddle, manage to cook it without burning it, secret low gas. my daughter suggested we have custard, so we had some too, the microwave variety as I did not want to add to the washing up. the struddle was ok, it was only 1pound in iceland, thats the only reason I bought it really. As for the microwave custard, that was a bit lumpy but it did taste of custard. Our left overs including the lumpy custard, we gave to the birds, birds custards to the birds. The factory for Birds custard is actually in Birmingham, its called the Custard Factory now and is a trendy place, or so they tell us. But can they make nice struddle?

Loyalty

Loyalty ©

By Michael Casey

I was just watching SUITS on Dave channel 111 on Sky, it’s about a law firm in Manhatten.  It made me think about Loyalty, why are  we loyal and what makes us loyal. Taking the king’s shilling paid for the army, now terrorists the world over are loyal because they get paid in dollars, or they get a share of the poppy crop or whatever.  Guns for hire in Westerns all of whom were loyal, as loyal as the last bag of gold.

We are loyal to our football club, even if we are in the Far East and Manchester United is OUR club. Football breeds loyalty, so long as we get our £250,000 a week, then the club sells us and instantly we are loyal to our new club, paying that little bit extra, and don’t we just love blue when before it was red.

We are loyal to our brothers and sisters, we shared the same upbringing, we shared the same womb. We are loyal and would do anything for our kid, even  when he steals from us to feed his drug habit, or alcoholism. We are loyal even if they aren’t, its hard to let go even if we should, a drowning man will drown the rescuer, nothing is worse than being betrayed by a sibling.  Sometimes  you do need to walk away.

Why do we need loyalty? Because then we are not alone, we share something and that’s a basis human need, just as food, water, warmth and sex are  basics of life. If we lack those then we are not complete, we are like a jigsaw with pieces missing. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to find all the parts of us, to feel loved and needed and have somebody loyal to us.

Computer Toys

Computer Toys ©

By Michael  Casey

To start with I was a computer operator back in 1978, then people where impressed when you used the word “computer”, 35 years later, is it really that long ago. Anyway today 35 years ago everybody and his dog has a computer, just as everybody has a TV and it’s not on the Census anymore, so too computers are as ubiquitous as that.

I only applied to one job and I got it, I blame my brother it was his idea, though it did provide a good living for 20 years. Now life moves on, I am married to a Shanghai girl and because of her I moved into  technology. Back in 1978 and the 1980s nerds emerged,  they really would take their computer to bed with them. Me it was just a job, I started on a DEC PDP 1170 and we progressed to DEC 1184, we had a guy whose initials really were PC, so he was called PC all the time.

After my big job I got married, so how do you stay in contact with Shanghai when you are in Birmingham ? You buy a Sky blue keyboard thing, so you can sit in front of the tv and send loves messages to a email  address in a downtown Shanghai computer repair shop. The owner a Yobi or Gobi would wait till there were a few, he could not read English, then he’d tell my future wife and she’d come to the shop and read them and send a reply to, after printing them all off.

Once reunited and pregnant   we updated to a computer, a real computer that was as heavy as a toolbox and had an old square monitor.  What’s always funny is seeing the old fashioned monitors in old films, kids nowadays must think we are cavemen to have such monitors. In fact I updated to the modern flat screen monitor years before they became commonplace, we had friends at a computer manufacturer. I updated our computer and we donated the old one to Fr.Jacob our local Korea priest, who was a dab hand at computers. Years later when we updated the computer again Fr. Jacob had the old one again, I also slipped in a copy of Don Camillo, I think all priests should read Don Camillo.

My fancy flat screen was finally replaced with a Dell wide screen, nice picture quality, HD quality. So technology moves on, 14 years of computers if you like. However Apple is the new king, everybody wants a wireless iPad or a mini iPad I have sausage fingers so I’ll never get one myself, they are nice toys, to be honest I’d be afraid of dropping one. Though if somebody slips one through my letterbox, and they are so small that can fit through a letterbox, then I’ll say thank you very much.

I love words,  well I am a writer after all, so being able to share my words by uploading them to a website now that really is a nice thing. Should I be asked to travel and write then they could donate an iPad to me, what book would the Editor slip in, the complete works of Shakespeare or a new Don Camillo omnibus?

Updating software is a big thing, I have just updated to Windows 8 on our home PC, it was only 29quid with vat. I did have a few hiccups like my computer not working for 2 days,  I even had a message on screen saying the computer would restart in 2 days. Eventually after contacting our Chinese IT friends they suggested it was the antivirus, so I took off Avast  and hey presto I could go online again. Firewall was so good I couldn’t use the computer. Yes it’s my own stupidity, but how many other people out there have had this problem? Maybe I  should  have phoned a friend, Fr.Jacob can you help me?

I then restarted the computer and later on it updated Windows 8 again, that’s what software does it updates itself, and then I got the computer will restart in 2 days message again. So I groaned, but it was only joking. The computer is back and Windows 8 looks nice and Safari seems not to hang as much. Though I discovered you have to give your files permissions, before you can use a family photo as a desktop background you have to give permissions to your files or it just does not work. I have tried to play music via Windows Media Player   but it stops between tracks, so I’m going to give my music files permissions and I’m guessing that will work. Or I’ll have to play with the antivirus, and if that does not work then I’ll just have to go to confession and talk to Fr Jacob 

The Kids are Alright

The Kids are Alright ©

By Michael Casey

I took our smallest to school this morning, up the hill in the snow to the school. I had to be careful as I still had a few twinges left over from my back, my daughter walks ever so fast too. I blame my brother for the fast walk, 45 years ago he was 6feet 1 inch when he was 11 or it may have been 13, anyways in order for me to keep up with him I had to learn to walk  fast, very fast. The priest called him Don Quixote and I was Sancho Panza, the priest is now a bishop, so this lead to my daughters both learning to walk very fast, they inherited the walk from Sancho Panza.

A Chinese mum, a Shanghai mum is a very special thing, dangerous thing might be another way of calling it. Why? Because the East is very driven, as for the West, or even the South West, as in Cromane Lower County Kerry Eire is much more relaxed, but the Chinese side wants high scores at school. Me I just love them and encourage them to write stories and read loads, they can be the writers in the family in the next generation, not bad considering their granddad was a blacksmith. I think or girls could be illustrators too, such is the level of their drawings, as  700 crayons and pens will testify, though they would still like twice that number.

Now beauty is a nice thing to have and our girls have that too, thankfully they got the Shanghai genes and not the Birmingham ones, though they do have big eyebrows like me. Hair is such an important thing for girls, our girls have Chinese hair that is very very soft, they don’t have my silver/white hair, though my hair is soft too. And of course with two daughters like that, we call them our pigs or our animals, judging the state of their bedroom, it’s the correct term. It is of course the only way to call such treasures, as we don’t want them looking in the mirror all the time, and ending up as vacuous WAGs. Our youngest has a great sense of humour, my wife thinks it was her dad making her laugh while the baby was in the womb that caused this. We think she will be like Helen Bonham Carter, so beautiful but always wanting to dress up ugly, she did dress up like Jacqueline Wilson and it was a perfect transformation.

As for the other one she is getting so tall, she’ll be 5 10 when she is 16, or perhaps she’ll be a basketball star. We have to barter with each other to see who gets time on the family computer. This is what you get when you have kids, and I thank God for them, as for me  the wife calls me “the large sized person.”