Taxes

Taxes ©

By Michael Casey

My dad used to say that money should circulate, that’s why its round. The government, any government wants money to roll into the taxman’s coffers. So we have all these new bright ideas from the politicians, we’ll have a toilet tax to drive millionaires around the Ubend. The more toilets you have the more tax  you’ll pay, you’ll be flush with success, so you’ll pay tax on it, or something rhyming with it. The bigger your garage the more tax you’ll pay, then there’ll be the tv tax, the home office know who has a tv, and we all pay tv licences, so your 42inch will mean even more tax, and as for your 3D forget it you’ll pay pay pay.

What more can we be taxed on?  How about a margarine tax, if you buy Clover  you’ll pay more tax than if you buy supermarket cheap brands. Then there is butter, don’t make me laugh, you like Kerry Gold, then prepare to lose your Gold. We had a window tax hundreds of years ago, now we’ll have a double glazing tax, if you can afford to have double glazing you must be super rich, so you will pay more tax, and if you have hardwood frames then you will hear TIMBER as your money is axed from you.  We already pay council tax, so nice big houses pay more, but how about being taxed more if you live in a crescent, or an avenue as that sounds posh, but   if you live in a cul de sac you get a discount. As for living in a caravan, those horrible things that slow us down on motorways, they get taxed double, just out of spite, and on that point all the population would support the  Chancellor.

All these taxes would be like a revolution, and voters would vote for anybody who says they will abolish them. Then once in power the bastards would be even worse, welcome to taxes, 50 shades of taxes without any pleasure.