Typos lead to words and so on

Typos lead to words and so on

You should not waste anything

WE were doing this in the 60s because we were poor

All this trendy saving stuff, seems obvious, decades ago

So it is with words, why waste them, so if I make a typos

or cannot spell something immediately then  my mistakes

lead to ideas, just as a word in a song I'm listening to as I talk

to you all may ignite another idea.

So Candle  and Bra emerge because I cannot spell candelabra

so Liberace has a candle and a bra on his piano , simple really

I used that in an email last night, the recipient may just think I'm

boring or just plain kinky,  I'll never know not unless he becomes

the new host of Just a Minute, and I have seen Nick's arse in stockings

and suspenders, Mr Parsons was the narrator in Rocky Horror not unless

it was Andrew Neil that Scots guy politicians laugh at.

So on I go, forever and forever, who sung that song, I need you so

10 points to Queens for the correct answer, and a bag of chips to Saltford

or is that another misspelt university?

Any road up, I'll tarmac anything, give us a job, I had an idea for another piece,

so come back later and it may be ready. In the meantime can somebody explain

why somebody in American Samoa keeps coming back to me, via Wordpress

It does set off many chains of thought, So I'll go eat and then watch another

 Monk before writing another piece.

This is a chat which doesn't appear in the books when I compile them.

Normally it's the by Michael Casey  pieces

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1


this is post 2753 on this blogger, so plenty to read ...

chats and Stories

Discovering TV

Discovering Tv (c)ByMichael Casey

I’ve literally just seen Monk on TV, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before, but one scene on a stage seemed familiar. So that in itself makes me wonder how or why we remember things. I did not remember any of the rest of the show, or have any memories triggered. So I’ve got something to watch now. It started in 2002 or so the guide says, it’s like a comedy Columbo meets Elementary. Which might indicated what makes me laugh, though I have very wide tastes, as wide as my hips. I binge watched my Korean K drama last night, too much in fact, as reading subtitle for hours is tiring. So rather than plunge into my next K drama I’ll be spending time with Monk, his assistant looks like a young Bette Milder, to my eyes anyway.

When we watch tv we like something that both interests and excites, like your boyfriend stripping badly for you, until you push him out of the way and you use the steam stripper on the walls. What did you think I was talking about? See you were ahead of yourself, good tv has to keep you guessing and have a few good twists and turns, with a surprise ending. Which goes back to stripping, what else can you both do when you are covered in wall paper paste and paint. You just have to strip off and tip toe not through the tulips, but through the house to the bathroom. Well if you’ve never done that before, I’m sure you will be doing that in future.

Preparation is everything after all, the rest I leave to you own imagination.

Now some tv, leaves nothing to the imagination. In USA it’s very staid on tv, compared to UK tv, hence in film it makes up for it bigtime, or so it used to be. For example when Saturday Night Fever came out there was lots of swearing in it. It was an X, 18 certificate in UK, I thought the cursing was overdone, later a 15 certificate was issued, and hence more people saw it, and the film made more money. You remember John Travolta walking down the street with the tin of paint in his hand, obviously he’d read this piece in advance, is it 40 years in advance, and was going to take my advice about decorating and stripping, or do you think I’m a liar, a pilot and liar, I won’t make jokes about cockpit.

There are elements in a show that interest an audience and writers try to keep the audience happy. In USA I’m told a team of writers write the show, and there is even a Laugher Maker Writer, who’ll come in and insert big laughs, for which he’s really well paid. But sitting around a table with others seems strange compared to the way Britain writes shows, a lone writer or a team of two. Not a gang of people writing. I’ve never tried writing with anybody, so it would be strange. I’d be constantly hurt by the barbs, so I’d rather write something and present it, then let them ruin it, kind of take the money and run. As if that would ever happen.

There are jokes, and running jokes, sponsored by Nike or Adidas or even Reebok, or am I joking? You can repeat a joke a few times and get away with it, or if you are clever, get a different laugh with the same material, as Eddie Izzard or Danny la Rue will explain if you ask them to. Dress material I meant, their material is well worn, because they use the wrong detergent in their washing machines. And yes I love a bit of Tan-gentle humour, as straight lines are boring, custard pie humour, which maybe Americans prefer.

Somebody just spat at the screen, it can’t have been at me, as I sit here naked and paint splattered with bits of wallpaper stuck to my Dave Allen style hair, and a silver dollar in my red garter belt. I’ve been practising my stripping, what else can a boy like me do on a fine Spring afternoon. I was watching Monk, but inspiration struck so I moved to the computer to share these few words with you all. Confused? If you’re not you must be reading too much or me already. Worried and Confused, they are the names of our Rottweilers, really, well it seemed like a good idea at the time, after Totoro our Ninja cat put them in their place.
So rambling is always good, it strengthens the legs, I really do have very strong thighs, if ever you see me naked and covered in paint, chocolate paint that is, you’ll soon agree, or maybe just run away.

 Rambling is a device, or vice, take you pick, which is used to bemuse as you lead people up that garden path, say hello to Gill with a G as you travel that path, she’s always there, well in my imagination. And as you follow the Comedy Path, you are diverted, there are always road works, so it’s a good job there is plenty of paper in the outside toilet. Or in plain English, any show is better if it has variety, and the unexpected, like Tales of the Unexpected years ago. You enjoy it more. It’s a bit like our local, Cock au Van, our local bona restaurant, you don’t know are you getting Michelin star stuff one day or food poisoning. It’s in an old truck turned into a building, copying those diners in USA. The Cock au Van branding, relates to truckers having a wee on the back tyre, michelin tyres of course, truckers do know quality after all.

As ever I could go on forever, but I need food just like the girl in my K drama who was forever hungry, Cinderella and the 4 Knights, I do love the happy endings and soaring music, which I sing along to in Korean. So I’m going to eat, so I hope you discover some nice shows for yourself during Lockdown times. Or you could try and read my 19 books on Amazon, or have a browse on my online stuff. How many of my stories would you like to see on tv? Silence, absolute SILENCE, I’ll cry if you treat me like that, and if you think a Korean girl crying breaks your heart, wait till you see me crying, I’ll drown you all, ha ha ha.

welcome everybody world wide 040420

welcome everybody world wide

Russia, Iran, Sweden, Korea, Turkey, Ukraine, USA

you are just some of my readers today.

So THANK you for coming

you could have washed your hair today instead

or polished your bald patch

On my Wordpress are multiple translations either pasted in

or a PDF or Word file

So THANK you and go look there as well as here

I cover Arabic as well, 2 books in full in fact

So I annoy all of you the world over

And all by word of mouth

Maybe someday Russia or the Arab world

will be brave enough to let me loose on their media

ok, they can pick something suitable and use it

that's a hope an aspiration a dream

though I'd settle for ice cream

Stay happy or look at my photo and think

at least we don't have anybody as stupid as him

in our family.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/

You calling me a Liar, Bastard?

You calling me a Liar, Bastard? (c)

By

Michael Casey

I was having a haircut in 1978, 42 years ago, in the Barbers a bald headed man was cutting my hair. We were talking, and why aren’t you working, it’s the middle of the week? I work shifts. What do you do? I’m a computer operator, we do Market Research into alcohol sales. The barber stopped to dispense something for the weekend, as some man hovered by his shop door. That’s how condoms were bought and sold all those years ago. Then he carried on with my hair as I explained how sales were tabulated and then processed via the computer, which can me a job. As I was leaving the barber said he had a “Osiometer” at home, what’s that I innocently asked. It tells me when I hear “Bullshit”. In essence he was calling me a LIAR. So rather than punch him, I never gave him my custom ever again.

Now spotting on my Blogger today that somebody used a Plagiarism machine or monitor as they looked at my site reminded me of this event. Yes a 42 year old memory was rekindled. I also met a rich guy in the Bell Inn Haborne Birmingham, where all the rich people live. I ended up sending him a copy of Shoplife my hit play, which I wrote in 1988, and was accepted for production but not finally produced. The man, claimed I stole the idea, I was a THIEF. So obviously I wiped my bum with his “gracious” note and flushed it away.

Some people do not give you credit, and never will. One of my sisters was a shop worker hence source material, I also have eyes, I try to be very observant, I am a People person, not Paper. Though now as a writer I put people on paper, or my computer, as everything is straight to computer, then posted and backed up. No paper involved. I bought myself an Atari 520 on Dave Eaton’s recommendation, not for the games but for the word processor. It cost earth, but I was not married, and writing still is my only vice. And you can make your own jokes up about that.

So why do we care if we are called LIARS? Well Trump does not care, and if USA does not descend into anarchy via Covid19, Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics and Deaths will decide his Future, though as Michael Cohen warned us, he’ll not leave graciously. But there is a God, so hopefully Truth and Trump will out.

So why do we care if we are called liars? Personally if you lie about a penny you cannot and should not be trusted with a Trillion. It’s old fashioned values. Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil, tell me the Truth and I will not hit you, as my mother used to say when I was very small, and still naughty. She would have reached 100, next week. I was her fifth and almost last child. She did have a final sixth child, and used to go to the Post Office to collect her Pension and Family Allowance on the same day, which amused her no end.

Our Integrity matters, well not to thieves nor American Politicians, maybe your Politicians in your countries are perfect, my readers are spread over 80 countries. So you will know better than me. It’s obvious to me anyway there will be revolt and rebellion world wide post Covid19, as people breakout in all senses of the word and an accounting will be made. Let’s hope the nukes are all locked up. Or perhaps we’ll have an era of Peace. What is also obvious it that the Developed world will have to vaccinate the poor ½ or is it 2/3 of the world. And for selfish reasons. If you don’t cure the poor world then the whole world is in danger again. Simple self serving logic, no lie. You fix all the holes in a boat or it will sink.

Yes, people tell white lies, sometimes so kids and grandparents don’t cry or fear for their future especially in today’s Covid 19 times. But the solution is in our hands, or in our beds. If we stay in bed and watch tv, count the curves on your girlfriend’s body, or imagine waxing your boyfriend’s bum. Just self isolate a bit more it really isn’t a chore. If you have had foresight, you’ll have visited your own bald headed barber, and bought a gross not for the weekend but for the isolation for you and your girl. And if stocks had run low, then the stork will come a visiting. While your there though, tell him the kid from 42 years ago is now a Writer, and he can stick his “Osiometer” up his bum. Or am I a liar?

Should I be INSULTED or FLATTERED?

Should I be INSULTED or FLATTERED?

Spotted somebody had used a Plagiarism  scanner 

on a piece of mine, as I listen Crosby Stills Nash are speaking

about cover versions.

Just so you know, why should I copy?

I was once accused of the same regarding my Play Shoplife

which I wrote in 1988 and was accepted for production in 1989, see Bio

Perhaps having listened to speech radio for 20 years prior to starting to write.

And being a writer for 33 years now, may indicate I have a brain.

53 years love of words.

Those who can DO

Those who can't TEACH

Those who can't teach teach TEACHERS

And the rest are just IGNORANT

That's my last word.

My 1, 587, 000 words are all my own

and people steal from me.



p.s. in my novel 29288 is mentioned, the date I finished it

The Dead and The Living

The Dead and The Living ©

by

Michael Casey

I first saw a deceased when I was nine years old ,my father said not

to worry as the dead are the same as the living , only the laughter

has left them , the sparkle has gone from their eyes , the worry has

been lifted from their shoulders , and their voice has vanished to

eternity .

In paradise the sparkle will return for it is the twinkle of the

stars , the laughter will return too for it is the morning breeze and

the turning tides are their sides shaking with laughter .

I treat the deceased with the same courtesy as I give to the living ,

though I find the deceased are always more polite . My father also

had a few words to say about the living .

He said that the living are only the caretakers of the soul , yet

they think their existance is everything , that they know everything

because they experience many things with their senses .

What the living don't acknowledge is that their time is short and

when I lay their bodies to rest then their souls continue without

them , without their strong , without their weak , without their

beautiful or even ugly temporary form , to where I cannot say , only

that it is a better place .

Percy the undertaker placed the lid on the coffin ,the soul was free

THE BEGINNING

**************

I wrote this poem in November 1987 on a Sunday on a bus while going to work at StatsMR  later part of ACNielsen, I had started to write my first book,
as Pad Webb had suggested

I wanted to have the Poet and Undertaker say something about his role
this comes from The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker
which I was going to call A Nation of Shopkeepers but I thought nobody
would know their History, so I chose the occupations on the street.

this poem I hope brings comfort to people, at this time especially.....

Plain English

Plain English (c)

By

Michael Casey

So I keep on reading rubbish, and I keep on writing rubbish I hear you say, why don't you go away and burn ants with a magnifying glass just as I did in the 1960s. You can try this at home, as all the Buddhists complain, see simple pleasures have changed in 50 years. You can discuss this amongst yourselves, you have fly zappers in your stores, so who is the more cruel?

Times change and language changes too, though good old Anglo Saxon remains the same, ask Lenny Bruce if you don't believe me. Or just go Bla a Bla or Do a Do, or Soo a Soo or even Kapo a Kapo. You are so disgusting, how is that even physically possible? You'll send me a link to your Utube channel. Don't bother, I'll just wear snorkling gear and jump from the top of the wardrobe to, well mind your own business, what people do in the privacy of their own homes should stay there. Like What Happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Vegas is the name of our local fish and chip shop by the way. They dye the chips orange, he's a very nice man, he always gives me an extra shake of salt. If he knew that the Heart ward bans salt, then he'd stop, but I don't want to crush him.

Now what has this got to do with the price of a kebab, or a bag of chips for that matter? I don't know either, but I have to give you all a chance to warm up. So now that you are sitting comfortably then I'll begin, and you Pete and the back, stop wiping snot on the keyboard, are you that bored already? Now where was I? I read the newspapers every day, though with Covid19 I'm rationing myself a bit, otherwise it would be overwhelming. I would encourage you all to do the same. Major Mental Health Problems will arise after we all get out of Lockdown, IF we don't all think positive. Distract and Divert our Souls away from the Tsunami of trouble.

So read the Press but don't read all your DM, or Guardian or DT or whatever you read. Don't watch 10 hours of news on tv either. I confess I have been a life long News Addict, 50 years worth. I also read the USA news mainly in bed with Tinnitus my Roman slave. The thing is you must be selective, you must have a plan, otherwise I'm BORED, rears it's ugly head. It seems to me people have short attention spans nowadays, and what to be entertained. They don't have enough in their head already to keep them happy.

Maybe only children will be better at adapting to the Covid19 world, not just children themselves but grown ups who were only children. As they had to make up their own entertainment, or cruel kids who burn ants with magnifying glasses. Or poor kids, or kids with IMAGINATION, I used to have a paper clip and I traced up and down a brick wall, the mortar was the road, and the paper clip was a car for the Leprechans. Simple pleasures for me and Derek McKenna in the 1960s. Nowadays if the battery goes kids are marooned without any way of entertaining themselves. Which is so very sad.

Dirk Bogarde in his book tells of the look in the window challenge, you look in the shop window for a minute, then turn your back and try to remember what was there. Can you paint a picture? You can play this at home too. It's a way of exercising you observation skills. Dirk Bogarde was a Photographic Interpreter in WWII. It's a simple game, very simple, but it creates skills and stengths, and it costs nothing, nothing at all, so anybody can do it or adapt to your surroundings.

While you are at home, you can all teach yourself to give a speech. Useful in all areas of your life. And not just for the obnoctious wanna bes in the media, a smile and a figure, male or female does not make a good reporter. So here's how you learn. Have 5 objects in front of you, or look out the window and pick 5 objects. Then you take turns to speak for 60 seconds, like Just a Minute on the Radio. But without any interruptions. Then you give/get constructive advice. So 5 objects, 5 sixty second talks. Followed by constructive advice. Then you move on to another 5 objects, but you increase the talk time. This is the basic structure.

You can give yourselves prep time to make notes before you talk. So you have the idea. The “exam” the next day is being able to stand up and talk for 15minutes, from your notes. And yes I stood up and spoke for 30 mins about my Paris misadventures, this was Maundy Thursday 1998. Carole with an E nearly wet herself because she didn't know what I was going to say next. The next day I went to Czech and ended up talking to Jana's English class, I talked without notes for 90 minutes. So the course worked. Being able to write is one skill, but being able to talk is another. Being able to read a script is a different skill too, hard for me as I like free flow, so even though I've written a piece I need to learn/practice delivering it. As I am channeling myself, I bet you never thought of that, actors really do act after all. Go to my typepad and as I recorded more the delivery got better, though they were recorded 5 years ago I think. And then recording 5 in a day was so tiring. I'm not a machine.

As usual I was going to follow one path but I've gone another way, however IF you all follow my simple instructions, all of you, yes all of you should be able talk. You can then win the heart of that girl or boy or any which way, whom you wanted so much. Now you have the skills to win, beauty will fade, but laughter lasts forever, so if you can make your love laugh, she/he will chose you. And then everybody will assume you are rich, and so you are, rich in spirit.

What I was going to speak about was, use plain English, otherwise readers will say he's up his own backside, as if we give a monkeys, don't they know there is a war on, a Covid19 war. And yes you can draw cartoons of Covid19 as an ant, with you burning them with magnifying glasses, well metaphorically speaking.

So that's it for today, over 1100 words, and yes you can learn to write too, though I spent 20 years listening to BBC Radio4, quality speech radio before I ever picked up a pen. It's up to you, you can do whatever you want to do, it's up to you. I just wish John Denver would stop singing that so loudly, maybe I should change my ring tone?