Shakespeare you want more?

Shakespeare you want more? (c)

By Michael Casey


For some reason you all liked Shakespeare post, 3 to 1 compared to next favourite post at the moment.

I'll assume it's because you are all studying Shakespeare, not because I'm a wonderful writer.

40 years ago the top stream in my grammar school had the joys of English Literature.

We did Henry IV part I or was it 2, plus the book Over the Bridge by Richard Church.

Then it was murder, no Internet to help, Internet was not even invented nor PCs , 1975.

So here's a few ideas for you, the work you will have to do yourself.

I did do Shakespeare at the Open University in 1988/9 I seem to remember.

You can Google Open University in UK.

For English Lit, read the BOOK FIRST, before your teacher/tutor/mistress

 of any kind starts to teach you.

If its in a Foreign Language, then get the Translation and read that first.

So when lessons begin you have at least read the book once, three times would be even better.

Google the Film of the book and watch that too, a few times. For Macbeth in English I think the Jason Connery version is the best. Ask his dad 007 if you do not believe me. There is so much stuff on UTube so go hunt it out. Back in 1975 and in 1988/9 UTube did not exist. I did not even have a PC/ Internet in my home for a further 10 years. So now I do have it for 19 years, having a Shanghai wife brought the necessity of Internet home to me.

Can you ask a question?

When you come home late and your mum thinks you have been out drinking she will ask you 20 or 30 questions as she batters you, as you both Tango around the kitchen table.So Ask Google the same question in a variety of ways till you discover the best answers, then bookmark those pages.

Michael Casey, michaelgcasey, Mr Michael Casey, Mr Michael G Casey, the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham. All these will give slightly different answers as well as a lot that are the same. So Learn how to interrogate Google and then you'l find better answers. Exam Essays on Macbeth could be one search, Free Exam Essays on Macbeth could be another. Pretend to be a lawyer in court,  or your sister interrogating you about where her jar of money has gone. If you don't ask you don't find out. If you wanted to persuade a girl to bake you bread, how would you persuade her, what would you do? Flutter your eyelids at her?  Well go Flutter at Google.

Once you have all the answers then read them all. Then THINK. Then Write your own essays.

Yes its is as simple as that, and yes Teachers can spot and do use, CUT And PASTE spotting technology. And any cut and paste essays are an immediate fail.

I know in some cultures cheating is endemic, how do you expect us to pass if we do not cheat can be heard.

THE ANSWER IS DO SOME READING, LOTS OF IT.

TALK WITH YOUR FRIENDS OVER WHATSAPP 

In short do the work. There are far too many fake degrees and fake people in the world.

And when all the exams are done, then go out and celebrate, you could buy all my books and read them for pleasure. Or just go down the pub instead.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC

p.s. I've discovered that THIEVES have posted some or parts of my books online. This is theft, IF I put my hand in your pocket and stole money to buy  a Stella Artois, this would be theft.
People should put their hands in their own pockets and BUY my books  and not steal them.
Then I can buy myself Stella Artois.

Sign of the Times

Sign of the Times ©

By

Michael Casey

Sign of the Times can mean anything, its a song as well. But what does it mean to you? To me, tonight it means my physical body has perhaps reached its weakest, well for today anyway. I used to be able to stand for 12 hours a day and walk 5 miles. Today I can go out shopping but return tired, I don’t quite need a nap, but its a close thing. In a way its sad because you can feel the shadow of the Grim Reaper fall over you. This weekend also marks the anniversary of my dad’s death so that does bring on many memories.

I used to be a lumberjack and I was ok, chopping down trees, and wearing girlies’ clothing, suspenders and a bra, just as Monty Python did. I did get a lot of flack from the other members of the rugby team, but good hookers are hard to come by, so they respected my clothing decisions. I was quick and I always got the ball, I did not want my stockings ripped after all. It did happen once and there was such a maul afterwards and 3 players were sent off, and the referee’s mum came on to slap a few legs, just to restore order.

But that was then and this is now. How things change. You used to sing dirty songs on the coach to rugby matches, nowadays that is just a memory and you cannot remember the words at all. You go on visits to Holy Places instead, that’s what marrying the vicar’s daughter entails. It must be the same for Theresa May’s husband, visiting The Palace of Westminster when really he’d like to go to Crystal Palace to watch the football. But marriage does that to you.

When you first marry you are both full of vim and vigour, figure skating around each others’ bodies in bed. Then children appear, so you go bed to sleep instead. Besides the children have radar, so they can intercept and parental desires. You are both trapped apart, holding the babies so you cannot even practice making any more babies.

Your looks begin to fade, and your clothes get tighter, you’re sure they have shrunk in the wash. Its because Married Men, and Women get fatter, its God’s design. Thin to bait the trap, then hips and bellies get bigger, and everything drops thanks to Gravity. But you love each other, besides nobody would want you now, because you have the married look. You are permanently tired, school runs and overtime to pay for your crime, sex and marriage. They come and go together, so you have buy shoes for children and trendy clothes too. Meanwhile you evolve into the missing link, the tramp with the well dressed kids, you cannot afford anything for yourself.

And on it goes so you buy clothes in 2^nd hand or charity shops, not because you are being Retro and Trendy but because that is all you can afford. And its there while changing to try on a new secondhand pair of trousers that you meet temptation. The woman in the charity shop sees your strong legs and wants all of you. You end up making love amongst the donations in the back of the Charity Shop.It wasn’t planned it wasn’t even anything, it just happened.

Your wife doesn’t suspect but you become very well dressed in a Retro kind of way. Your kids work it out but don’t care because you are out of their hair, but in, well enough said. Your wife doesn’t notice because she has gone back to work and is now a manager. So you carry on carrying on in the back of the charity shop. So in a way it is perfect, except you get the woman in the charity shop pregnant, she thought she was too old to conceive, but with a lot of Charity anything can happen.

So now you are living the married life again, with your pregnant girlfriend living in your daughter’s bedroom. She has gone to University now, and your wife is so very understanding and charitable, so a baby conceived in a Charity shop is born, its a girl, so you call her Charity.

You did not plan any of this, it was inconceivable that Faith the girl from the Charity shop would have a baby. You Hoped she was mistaken, but no matter what you had Hoped, Faith had conceived Charity. At least your wife was understanding, she liked the idea of more children but it did not happen in the marriage. But now a new baby was born, she was just too understanding. I forgot to say she was the manager of a Baby Wear Shop.

See God works in mysterious way, though some might say men should just keep their trousers on, especially in charity shops. 

Degree Madness an old piece from 6 years ago

I was reading the DT tonight before bedtime and it was on about Grade inflation as some Unis don't want their scores knocked back. So they ignore some results before awarding the final degree. 

Statistics say people are getting smarter because more and more high grade degrees are being awarded.

But  some would claim the Students just cannot write, even though they get a First or a 2 1. I've met a lot of graduates and Common Sense seems missing too.

As you know I'm self taught, with the help of 20 years of Radio 4 first, then 30 years of writing. So That's 50 Years Slaving over a Keyboard.

I could not find the piece I wanted to share again, but I found this one.

Degree madness

 By michaelcasey

There was a nice piece in today’s DT about degrees and their value or lack of.  £27,000 for a degree is madness, and the piece did speak of “rubbish” degrees, I was told by a friend that 40% was the pass grade for an engineering degree here in Birmingham. This is madness pure and simple, 

I’m sure any real employer would roll their  eyes and reach for the coffee. I have also met young people with a piece of paper and no common sense. As for everybody demonstrating because it was their right to have a degree, I’d say having a red jumper is more useful that some degrees, save £27,000 and open a business instead.

My daughter took her 11plus 2 days ago, that I hope will help her, but even if she were to fail, we still have 2 ex-grammar schools where she could go. 

As for University, I am already telling her just to enjoy her life and get 3 years hands on experience, or 4 years if you include the gap year either before or after Uni. She can do what she likes, but always do her best, just as my dad instructed us. Then she has something to offer an employer.

I’ve had a varied employment life these past 12years, but it has taught me that being useful and flexible is better than a Micky Mouse degree she might apply for. I tell her Paul McCartney’s daughter went to a comp but look at Stella now. It’s the Person not the Paper that matters

Too Good to Criticise

Too Good to Criticise? ©

By

Michael Casey

I needed a nap today, as I was getting out of bed I switched on the radio, BBC Radio4, which is like the World Service that you all listen to all over the world. I stumbled on a conversation where a Posh Female Poet was being criticised for criticising mere mortals. Ok, I’m encapsulating it, I was putting my socks on at the time before getting dressed.

Literary Criticism while naked is never a good idea, though your boyfriend or girlfriend may criticise you at any time of the day or night, naked or not. You may think you are safe sat on the toilet or in the bath, but criticism can come at any time. Conversely your very best ideas may come while sat on the toilet, and remember Archimedes HE was in the bath.

So tonight I want to talk about criticism. Should you not criticise because the writer is a fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham? Or because he’s had a bad heart and arthritis and his Ckd is bad? Or should you say that Michael Casey is really really rubbish and if ever I meet him I’d spit at him, or just ignore the fat smelly man? Or I’d just give him a 200ml of Ck One every time I meet him? Not because I like him or any or his puerile words, but because I want to remind him he STINKS.

That in essence is the debate I heard on the radio, while I was naked and putting my socks on first. If the Radio people could see me as I was getting dressed would they PUKE? Or would they be aroused? We do not have interactive radio yet, so we will never know the answer to that question.

It is a very important point though, not me being naked, but whether you support somebody’s Art because of their handicap? And no I’m not still talking about my body but whether I must buy tickets because he is from Planet Zogg, so I really must support them. And what is Planet Zogg’s Art? It is farting through a hoop to make bubbles, literally Blowing Bubbles full of Farts. Then they drift over the audience to burst, covering the audience in soap and farts. So the man from Planet Zogg is a millionaire, who can do no wrong.

The point is should you support rubbish in the name of compassion or charity? Or say Planet Zogg is a load of hot air, very smelly hot air, and we should prick his bubble and let him have his own farts back in his face? Here’s a donation now get lost, I’m watching the MU match or whatever IF Planet Zogg was doing a Charity thing. Or just say NO, whether it was a Charity thing or just working for himself.

My opinion is that if it is Good then it is Good, but don’t over praise something which is rubbish, or just leaves a stink, like Planet Zogg’s act or Art. Vote with your Feet. If you hate MY stuff then you just stop reading it, I know none of my readers are reading it because I’m fat and silver haired in shades and from Birmingham, the one in England.

Nor because of all my medical weaknesses, which I mention because they are part of me and hurt me. They are NOT ME, I am ME and the writing is ME, I’m not defined by my weaknesses. So judge me for a reason as the song goes, and let that reason be, because I make you laugh and think. I’ll take my clothes off now and have a shower, and maybe Radio 4 will have a good debate on while I shower, is he really that fat and hairy, and look at those scars, interactive radio in the shower.  

And if I do stink, I will accept Ck One 200ml bottles anytime.

Like My Page last one of my rediscovered pieces for tonight

Like My Page (c) By Michael Casey

Like My Page (c) By Michael Casey

Like my Page (c) by Michael Casey

How do you capture a thought, its like a polar bear trying to capture a butterfly in its teeth without harming it. So you use a metaphor or some other kind of butterfly net, ideas lap at your toes  like walking on the beach at Cromane Lower Eire, then you get sands between your toes.   Your socks are stuffed in your pocket only they fall out and you stumble to catch them like a wicket keeper in cricket, or the catcher in baseball. See already I've put a few diverse thoughts in your head. Images is what advertising is all about, a warm and soft glow in your mind then you buy stuff. Memories of a first kiss, or the first loss of innocence, something that makes you smile and close your eyes, and want more. So you will go out and buy stuff, just one click away. I shouldn't ruin the illusion, but I will, you can buy my 5 books on Amazon Kindle, just look for my silly face on the corner. Comedy sells product, but how do you sell comedy itself? Perhaps  I should say read my books and your chest will expand, you'll look like Rocky, or if you are a girl you'll look like Angelina Jolie. Read my books and people will be impressed by your choice of reading, I never thought you'd read him, Michael Casey is so so, well just so so so, we have so much in common now, quick marry me and we'll read his books while we are on honeymoon.
So I've displayed cheap marketing tricks that B list celebrities use all the time for their Z list latest films. I've got on all the front pages  by flaunting my body, are fat hair chests all the rage now, is silver coloured hair with matching eyebrows the latest thing. Do I look like Steve Martin or Leslie Neilsen?
This is what you get when you ask me to go to your page on Face Book, would you have preferred a kiss under the mistletoe? Or will you just strike me off your Friends list, a horrid horrid man, or is it polar bear ?

have a look at www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com to read some old stories 24/01/2018

have a look at www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com  to read some old stories  I've rediscovered

and you can HEAR me read stuff too.

 then buy, if you are not shovelling snow at Davos.

https://www.amazon.com/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC

Treasure a 3rd rediscovered piece for tonight

Treasure

Treasure © By Michael Casey Well its 2 weeks before Christmas and we are all thinking, or perhaps thinking of presents and so forth. If we are children it’s all about what we will get, but if we are parents it’s all about what we can give to our kids. All I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth the song goes, me this Christmas I’ll settle for a lack of back pain. I’m thinking of The Bishop’s Wife, the Cary Grant and David Niven version, perhaps all I should say is go and watch it again because it says it all. We all treasure different things, this Christmas I found a cheap but very good quality dab receiver with a ubs port, so after a 2 or 3 year gap I have replaced my old hifi, look on Amazon for the Pioneer one. This is my treasure, it cheered me up and took my mind off the pain, just imagine a piece of plastic no bigger than your thumb can store all your cds and then you can play them back on the hifi. As you may know I do love a bit of music. The last hifi we donated to the car wash attendant, he did a good job so he ended up with a hifi with great speakers, it was in the car boot and instead of a charity shop getting it the car wash guy got it. Treasure comes in many forms, memories are all our treasures, me for family things I seem to have total recall, as if I’m the family historian. I remember the tales my dad told me over many a year, he repeated them over and over again, but for me I just loved it. Listen to the old they do have laughter and wisdom to share with us. At Birthdays and Anniversaries and Christmas we remember our friends and family, we buy them gifts, we send them a card, and if they are no longer with us we share stories they had shared with us, by doing this we keep them alive. Treasure comes in many forms, right now we hear of the Spitfire and how some may have been found in a foreign field. We also hear how loads could be buried in crates in Birmingham, that’s where I am now talking to you all. The Spitfire is a treasured icon and perhaps we should all be going out with metal detectors, looking for treasure we could all treasure for generations to come. When we receive a gift for Christmas or whenever we treasure it, a Don Camillo omnibus in English for example would be a great gift for me, I have Don Camillo on the shelf behind me. When I think of Don Camillo I think of Mr Trout my old History teacher for it was he who recommended Don Camillo to me. So there I have a memory and a treasure combined. Charity shops will gain stock after Christmas as unloved items are sent away and abandoned at Charity shops. We might not realise the thought the intent behind the present, we may not realise it’s on a par with the widows mite. Children, some children want and expect the latest this and the latest that, 100s of pounds spent on plastic junk, batteries not included. If your uncles and aunties are teachers what do you get? Books, books, books and more books. We do have 2 new bookcases in our house, so that’s just fine. We can discover a little café or a little pub, now that too is something to treasure, an oasis of calm where you can indulge and enjoy a coffee and a cake, or a really decent pint or three and pork scratchings, I am in the Black Country after all, let’s just stop a second and think about that. As a child we discover sweets and the memory lasts a lifetime, then fancy old fashioned sweet shops appear, halleluiah praise the lord, and the tastes and memories come flooding back. There was one such shop in the Law Zone in Birmingham, men in suits, very expensive suits queuing for sherbets well in my imagination they did. Time spent and misspent is something to treasure, climbing over walls and going scrumping when you were a kid, running like mad to escape the owner’s dogs, getting splinters in your fingers as you escape. Getting home and mum had to get out a big long and thin needle to remove the splinters. The screams you made and the tugging away as mum got the splinters out, do you remember it, do you remember it? These are just a few examples of treasure, I hope it will awaken long almost lost memories in all of you who read this, it has reminded me of my own life and of some of the Don Camillo stories too. Nothing we buy nor nothing we give or even receive can compare to Love, love is a free gift, costs nothing, but it is priceless, so treasure that this Christmas.