Window Shopping something from 2010 from Blogs 2011 book so why not buy a copy?

The sales are on in the shops so...

 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC

 Window Shopping ©

 by Michael Casey

Well the cold has got me so I’m all bunged up and drinking gallons of hot drinks, the kettle is whistling so wait a sec. Ah that’s better, another hot coffee, then I’ll switch to hot blackcurrant. Why do colds come at Xmas?

They are as predictable as carol singers. I only ever tried carol singing once as a child that’s another memory that has rushed back to me.

Rosie told me she believed that if you looked at a toy shop window you could see all the toys but at night when you were not there they all came to life. She was a child at the time, but I hope she lets that memory come to life often. My kids still believe in Santa as do I, I go for the fittings of his new costume at Slaters every Christmas, and then Santa comes along for the final fitting, we are about the same size you see. You could say I am his body double, just like in the films.

But back to Slaters, now they only have a small shop window then you take the lift upstairs and it’s a bit like an Aladdin’s cave. But speaking of shop windows and window shopping there are many ways to window shop. The real world one can be tiring trudging around the shops, especially if you have a young and fashionable wife. So I soon realised the best way was to let her go on her own while I had peace and quiet, then once we had kids she took the kids and I had peace and quiet. The perfect solution, especially as I paid the bill. Young girls become very fashion conscience, so they were the perfect mirror, to say mum this is good or this is bad. I’m sure Shanghai husbands/boyfriends agree with me, perhaps there should be a club for the Shanghai husbands/boyfriends

Me I look in 2 shop windows and know they won’t have my size, and then I head for Slaters, sometime with the family in toe, then its like lightning, flash bang whallop, I’ve got all I need. That’ll do me for a year or two.

I do like looking in watch shop windows, watches are a weakness of mine, why are men’s watches so huge nowadays, its like having an alarm clock strapped to your wrist. I tend to go for the elegant ones, or the elegant ones in my opinion. The ones with multi dials and buttons to press and turn are a turnoff. Oris ones are  nice, as are Omega. Yes I do dream of having one of those when I win the lottery or finally sell some books. My first watch was  for passing the 11plus, its all in The Watch and Me an essay on my site 

http://michaelcaseywords.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/still-alive-2015.html  

Now we are in a technological  world, we have windows on the world via our tv and our computer. I was telling my girls earlier today that we only had 2 or 3 tv channels when I was their age, they could not believe it.

So what do we do with our tv/computer eyes ?

We window shop. Obviously I look at watches and dream of my automatic Oris or Omega, and how nice it would be. I have had maybe 20years these past 20 years or so. I’m forever carrying things and banging my watches. One steamed up and the front fell off so I superglued the glass back on, only I glued the hands together.

What else do I window shop? Well when I need a new winter coat I look at the web sites and see what I can see in xxl or 2xl as its called nowadays. Window shopping on the web allows me to see what’s available, the designs and so forth, all from the comfort of my own home, as you’ve seen from the photos on my website. The government encourages all this window shopping because it helps trade and that in turn helps their tax take, which in turn should help us. We do finally leave our homes and visit town and buy stuff and have a beer and a meal while we are at it.

We all look online before we book our holidays, some look online for love, romance, sex. And then they book their holidays. Online is our eyes, nobody will believe how old fashioned the world used to be, my grandkids won’t believe the Internet was invented, its as ordinary as trees growing in a back garden, its always been there. In the future there will be guided tours explaining about Window Shopping, about holding hands in the rain, about blokes gathered in the doorway talking about MU while their wives/girlfriends try on stuff. Window Shopping is part of world culture, it’s the 3^rd oldest occupation in the world after sex and stories comes Window Shopping.

 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC

Mocking the Afflicted

Mocking the Afflicted ©

By

Michael Casey

I had to get up early today for a blood test, a fasting one too, which meant I could not eat after 10pm last night. As you can imagine I was starving by the time I got home after the blood test. I had to walk a bit to in the cold which set off my pains. Ok, I won’t bore you with that, the other thing though is that I got a printout of my medical history going back to 1975. So as I had my breakfast and lots to drink, I am a big fluids person after all, I had a look at my medical printout.

Then I swallowed my beta blocker which slows down my heart so it does not explode. My pigs are upstairs having their last lie in of the Christmas holidays while I talk to you all. I was going through the newspapers when I spotted something about a Utuber who was in Japan, it was in the Guardian I think. This person went to a well know suicide spot in a woods and filmed a victim he’d found there. A film star condemned him for such crass behaviour. You can all find it for yourselves and let him know what you think.

Mocking the afflicted is not a sport. In the old days the village idiot was protected by the village, yes they may not treat him perfectly well but he was protected. I was watching Peaky Blinders on Netflix over the holidays, it’s very good by the way. In it there was somebody who suffered from Shell Shock as it would now be called.He was protected by the Brummie gangster who had been a war hero. Yes, the tale did end in tears, but otherwise he was protected.

In my next full length book, Tears for a Butcher, which I may never finish, it’ll take a year of my life, or 3 months if I am lucky enough to be able to borrow a legal secretary I could recite the tale to. In that follow on to The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker which is 30 years old this year, yes I cannot believe it either. Well in it you have twin sisters who are the publican’s daughters. They are beautiful beyond compare, but they are also very dangerous, as all girls are.

So who do they fall in love with? They fall in love with the draymen, one of whom has a stutter but can sing, and the other who has a limp. When I write it up it will be both funny and full of pathos. Because the two draymen are mocked by football fans from outside the area. Annie and Betty will not stand for this so they stand by their man. You don’t speak to my bloke like that, leads to Annie and Betty using their martial arts skills to bounce the outsiders out of their home, the pub. Then there is 18 certificate kissing in the bar, they have decided the draymen are theirs and so they put a marker down, or a tongue down throat might be more accurate. Typical writing by me.

The point though is that the twins Annie and Betty want real men, not plastic selfie taking posers. Men who will love them always. Yes one has a limp, but he has personality and great eyes. The other has a stutter but when he sings it disappears and his voice goes straight through her, she’d do anything for him. Tell your own daughters never to be impressed by the superficial. Its depth of character that matters, if he can make you laugh then marry him.

I am also a big believer in the little people, because they always but always surprise us. The least of the brethren are there for a reason. I know some would say I’m on the scrapheap, that I’m useless. So I am reminded of myself when I see people less fortunate than me. That’s why I try in small ways to help others. We all can, it doesn’t have to involve money if you have none to give. You can give a smile, a look, a word, a joke, or just hold open that door for somebody. Or just wave to the bus driver so that he waits for somebody.

All these simple things show our humanity, and it’s how we treat the least of our brethren that shows just who great we are. Annie and Betty in my story see the humanity within and that’s what they find so attractive. Yes life is not perfect, and I certainly am not. But one thing I’d never do is mock and laugh over a body of a stranger in Japan or anywhere else, because he is one of my brethren.    

Feel Good Things

Feel Good Things ©

By

Michael Casey

I’ve just seen the film Glee 2 on tv, it made me laugh, in fact some of it was so funny I was saying “classic” as I watched I. There are many films that give us the feel good factor. You can pick your own, such as The Thomas Crown Affair, the 1968 version is just one of my favourite films, and the music The Windmills of Your Mind is my favourite song. You would have no doubt have guessed that already if you’ve read any of my 1300 plus short pieces.

So what gives us those feel good moments? A kiss from your mum when you scrapped your knee. Making up with your sister or brother, realising they really are the “best”. A letter from a loved one, lost long  and now found at the bottom of a trunk when you are tidying up. Old photos discovered in an attic. A collection of contraceptives you never used, because you never could get a girlfriend.

Or because she said nothing could ever come between you, so you had 12 children, but you were both so happy. Now aged 88, you were all alone, apart from the 10 children and 20 grandchildren and 12 great grandchildren. She had kept the unopened contraceptives at the bottom on her sewing box, because your love had stitched you together. So never never never would she use those things. Now she had died in your arms a smile on her lips. Feel good things.

A meal even a post funeral meal is a feel good moment, because the food is great, and the memories shared are even better. I can remember the food after my mum’s funeral, it was laid out on the snooker table in the Irish club opposite the undertakers. All the colours of my mother’s life were laughed about and shared, how she had played the game of family life with all the events rolling over the baize green of life. She had loved us so much and worked so very hard.

My dad nearly died maybe of a broken heart just 8 weeks later, its in Padre Pio and Me by Michael Casey, you can find it on the Internet. Now nearly 16 years ago I can remember my dad’s own funeral, the food spread again over the baize of the snooker table. This time I held a daughter in my arms. My dad had found me a wife and a new job and then after eating his breakfast and asking for a 2^nd egg he left us. As the calendar has almost reached the anniversary the events spring to mind but its a feel good memory for me. I remember my aunty saying just how pleased my mum, her sister would have been to see me married and holding a baby in my arms. I can remember telling John Lennon to eat up and have some of the loads of food that were available. John Lennon was the name of one of our lodgers, he was Mrs Moylan’s lodger but he moved to us when they moved house. Mrs Moylan had said to mum “I see you’ve got the Beatle”. John Lennon lived with us for a few years, then he died in his room, in Birmingham.

These memories, these stories are the things that have made up my life. A life of stories, listening to my dad and then reading stories by the yard and then watching films in their 1000s. Happy memories, fond memories. It’s our memories which last the longest. They are things we should treasure. When you visit old friends its the stories  that make the day.

It’s not Gloria’s great cooking, and she is such a great cook. Or Boris’ dynamite vodka that his Ukrainian family always bring home. Its the love between us, between Ukraine and Poland and even Russia that unite. Sure we say each other is rubbish, but that’s because we can, because we are family, we are friends.

The stories we share make us feel happy even if Boris burns the food. Its the laughter, like when Lech went out in the snow to pooh when you were all out hunting and were in the tent for the night. Only his bum got frostbite, but he had left the tent in the dark and fell over after he’s dropped his pants. Then none of you wanted to waste vodka to rub on his bum to defrost it. Georgie just sprinkled a bit, like a priest blessing his frost bitten bum. Only Georgie loved to smoke Cuba cigars, and while he was “blessing” Lech’s frost bitten bum Georgie managed to drop his cigar and set fire to Lech’s bum.

Poland, Ukraine and Russia united to grab him and dunk him in the snow to extinguish the flames. Lech was allowed a full bottle of vodka to himself as apology. But really the Polish,Ukrainian and Russian cousins laughing so much they could not drink for at least 10 minutes. You can imagine this is a memory that’ll last a lifetime as will the scorch marks on Lech’s bum. Thankfully they had brought 12 bottles of vodka for their weekend hunting trip. They did bring 40 cans of Stella Artois too, just for variety.

Laughter is the best memory we have, so please please please remember that,and when you are old share those laughs. I do have a scar on my own bum, yes really, but that’s another story from 50 years ago. But if you ask my sister she’ll tell you all about it, price, one bottle of Russian , one bottle of Polish and one bottle of Ukrainian vodka. We can give it to the priest to bribe him to make shorter sermons. 

A sideways look at life

A sideways look at life

HELP HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY JAGUAR BODY WARMER  AS SEEN IN THE PHOTO.

ITS 15 YEARS OLD AND VERY WARM, SO IF YOU SPOT IT, DO LET ME KNOW.

WE'VE LOOKED ALL OVER THE HOUSE AND STILL CANNOT FIND IT.

I CANNOT DRIVE AND HAVE NEVER HELD A FULL LICENCE.

I DID TRY LEARNING,BUT DOING A  3 POINT TURN WITH THE HAND BREAK ON WAS THE BEST I COULD DO. I did  have 2 test exams and a kid pretended to commit suicide by jumping in front of the car the 1st time. The 2nd time the examiner was beuing tested himself so I had 2 examinere in the car.

After that I gave up and had a bus pass as  I lived very close to the city centre, and really driving never interested me. Instead my Shanghai wife drives, drives me .....


https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC