Dear Vladimir Putin Can We Just Go Down The Pub?

Dear Vladimir Putin Can We Just Go Down The Pub? ©

By Michael Casey

Hello, Vladimir I won’t call you Mr Putin as nobody calls me Mr Casey, I’m just Michael, though when I was at CPNEC I was sometimes called Mr Casey as there were  too many Michaels working there,  but if anybody calls me Mr Casey I think they are taking the Mick.  Though if I say I am a writer then people think I’m taking the Piss. Such is life.

Now Stalin once said how many divisions had the Pope, and it has been said that the Pope will convert Russia and there will be an era of Peace. But you are a macho man so you fear nobody, which is all good and well, but you should fear one thing, and I don’t mean Piers Morgan interviewing you and claiming you are his best friend. He says this, almost, about Donald Trump, you can ask Donald yourself when he opens his new golf course in Moscow. 

But my point is HISTORY judges everybody, even you Vladimir, so think how you want to be remembered, I  know your mum always loved you so much but what about Mother Russia.

Russia is top of the pops in Space rockets, and you have done many great things, so why not join forces with USA to have a space station on moon, instead  of have even more nuclear missiles, that would end the entire world, MAD means MAD Vladimir, and I’m not talking  about the MAD magazine that you used to adore when you were much younger. Brexit means Brexit may be a puzzle but MAD does mean MAD, the end of the entire world and a nuclear winter.

Vladimir there is so much vodka that should be drunk before we start killing each other. You may have seen Whisky Galore the film, so you know the sentiment, let’s drink all the spirits in the world and make love to all the women in the world before we waste our time on nuclear weapons. Satan is Satan, and that’s just an absence of Love, so you could become a genuine peacemaker instead. You could go to Rome and surprise Francis and say you are just going to do Space things and as Francis follows in the Shoes of the Fisherman you could also do Ocean research. 

We know more about the moon than what is going on in the deep deep oceans.

The question is Vladimir do you have any balls? Anybody can pose for an action man calendar, but can you laugh at your past and create a new and bright future. This is your Road to Damascus Time Vladimir, your Orthodox Priest will explain the Bible passage to you. Now as your fleet edges  towards Syria you can STOP and change your mind and change your PLACE IN HISTORY.

As your fleet steams through the Mediterranean Sea you’ll  pass a quivering Italy, suffering from another earthquake.  BUT what if mother Russia had a major earthquake, what if the Kremlin shattered in an earthquake, what if Red Square erupted? Sounds like an American Disaster Movie. What if tonight as you sleep all this happens, or you awake and think it’s just a dream, but it has really happened.

It’s only when you have been close to death that you realise what is important and what is fluff, I speak as somebody who has been close to his own death. I speak as somebody who nearly lost both his parents in the space of 8 weeks. I speak as somebody who has experienced and witnessed life changing events. You too have had such experiences, so Vladimir let’s not waste what’s left in both our lives. It’s not a competition in pain, and I’ve had far too much pain too, as maybe you.

So Vladimir, I cannot speak any Russian, though my brother spent a month learning Russian in mother Russia. All I can say is that yes I’m just a foolish writer, I’ll never be famous like Tolstoy nor Dickens. But I do know that laughter does unite everybody,  and I do know that Mother Russia deserves its place in the sun, doing science in space and on the ocean floor.

 And as for Satan, he is just MAD, and sad for Satan never drinks any Russian vodka, nor makes love to a Russian girl. So throw away the Satan bomb and grab a Russian sex bomb, you know it makes sense Mr Putin.