3am Blonde on Blonde

3am Blonde on Blonde ©

By Michael Casey

I can remember 8 years ago when Obama was running   for election, now Hillary and Trump are after his job. Over here in UK the Birther thing seems ludicrous especially as its old stale news. The whole election seems a sad reflection of what was once a noble debate, we have a child shouting out his mother, well that’s what it sounded like to me. I listened live on the radio from my grandstand seat in my bed. I hope Trump and Hillary didn’t mind me naked in the audience.

Trump had the sniffles, maybe he’ll get a cold and have the day off. Its blonde on blonde, perhaps their hairdressers should mud wrestle and the surogate do the dirty fighting. Hair spray everywhere, a cloud of hairgrips and DANDRUFF everywhere, then the candidate with the best hair wins the Election.

Though it’s what’s in your head and heart that matters not what’s on top if I can alter King’s speech. So the hairdressers shouldn’t win it for either of them. Then last night Trump could not sleep, so at 3am he was on Twitter. If you cannot sleep at 3AM in a hotel you watch a film, the more expensive ones are the naughty ones. The bill discretely only shows price, not the title, I used to work in a hotel for 3 years so the reception team mentioned that one, not unless in USA its difference.

Trump  ranted about this and that, maybe he should have just rung his friend Putin, and they could have solved the world’s problems while Hillary slept like a baby or like a sheep, whatever metaphor they use in USA. In our house they sleep like pigs,  though Bay of Pigs was Cuba and Putin and Trump have Cuba in common. Trump   investigated doing a bit of business there while Putin’s grandfather tried to put missiles there. 

One thing I’m certain of, Putin wouldn’t be on Twitter at 3am, he’d be sleeping or making love to his gymnast 2^nd wife. If you own all the media then you always have high approval ratings, perhaps Trump should have bought some media and dumped his property portfolio, then he’s be as popular as Putin.

Boasting about being up at 3am, ready for any call, is a strange thing to boast about, an insomniac for President? I am up in the night frequently, due to pain, but I’m not on Twitter trying to slag   off my competitor at such an ungodly hour. Perhaps Hillary stole his stylist and that’s the root of all the bickering, it’s all a big girl fight over a hairdresser. Screw being President you stole my stylist you bastard.

Putin does not need a hair stylist, so he could not be the President of the USA, perhaps if he had hair transplant surgery like Rooney then Putin could run for President of USA. But then Trump and Hillary would unite and say Putin was a Birther  Bastard until Putin produced a Birth Certificate saying he was born in Alaska just next  door to Sarah Palin.  Then the Inquirer would prove that Sarah Palin and Putin were brother and sister. So in 2020 Putin becomes President of Socialist USA.