Who
Dares Read Me ©
By
Michael Casey
While I’m hiding from the paint fumes I’ll
have a little chat with you, as Totoro hides under my bed, she does not like
paint either, or she’s afraid she’s be used as a paint roller. Mr A our
decorator is busy painting, with a shower cap on his head to protect his Afro, it really is splendid,
but now with the green shower cap on his head it’s not as
nice. My daughters are giving him tea and biscuits to keep him happy,
and I’ve just bought him some Sprite and Polish biscuits from the Polish shop.
We did of course give him Lasagne for his dinner. You really have to look after
decorators you know, it’s like getting a doctor’s appointment, or finding an honest
Politician with or without Blonde hair.
So
why are we decorating, because we really need to, and we are thinking of moving
house. Somewhere bigger for our dogs, I mean our 2 daughters, and our dogs,
though you will have made your own jokes
up already now. As I talk to you I wonder how the humour goes down in 12 and
more countries that read my stuff,
Singapore,China,Russia,Poland,Germany.France,Portugal,Nigeria.Ukraine,
UK,USA are just some of the places that have popped up on my readers
list.
Is
it because the themes are eternal, or my writing last an eternity, I cannot
guess what makes you all laugh, though I did get 3 years practice when I was at CPNEC Birmingham, speaking to
100,000 people, some even said I had an act, I didn’t I was just repetitious
100,000 times. Which is a transferable skill to writing, I’ve just been and
made more tea to flush out my cKd kidneys, but I have to make sure I don’t
drink too much as the decorator won’t be finished in the bathroom for 2 more
hours, and I cannot cross my legs for that length of time, I’d need to water my
houseplants instead, and salt water is bad for plants.
When
it’s all done we have to send photos to Shanghai for the mother in law to look
at, my wife is on a visit to her right now, and she said she’d castrate me, or
was it castigate me if I made a mess in the bathroom. I’m not quite sure what the difference is
between those two verbs is, but me and Mr A the decorator don’t want to find
out, there are no positions for castrati in the local church choir, and we don’t want
to be the 1st two. We will take him out for panini and a drink when
we finish, as a thank you and as a huge sigh of relief that our singing voices
will remain basso profundo, and not Minni Mouse.
Other
than that it’s been a quiet day, I had a look at our bathroom it looks so good now, 2 more hours and it will be
fully finished. Then I’ll take a photo of it with me sitting on the loo with my
pants down, only revealing the newly decorated bathroom, then I’ll boast it’s
all my own work. Send the photo to Shanghai and my wife will say what I’m
saying is so far-fetched it’s like shit from Birmingham.
this is me the writer please buy my books on Amazon
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