My Laurence of Arabia look

 michaelgcasey  Uncategorized  23/04/2020 1 Minute

My Laurence of Arabia look

I’ve been at home for a month now, so if I do venture out I’ll stay looking cool and trendy. Why should Covid19 make us all grumpy, our Spirits define us.

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Published by michaelgcasey

I've updated this today 1st April 2020 I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ... I've done loads of writing, about 1,586,000 Words worth over 33 years now But before I started I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio He'd be nearly 100 now if he is still alive, so say a prayer for him 50 years in love with words, and I still look so dashing. I've also had an interest in Politics for 50 years with my dad heckling the tv and Politicians I almost immediately had a hit, a play called Shoplife was accepted but not finally produced by a Theatre The Kenneth More Theatre, so thank them for sparing you all. This was back in 1989 I also had other high praise, so I ignore all the nasty negative people who use too much alliteration I also ignore those who just cannot write, making money does not mean you can tell a story Pick your own famous writer, who you avoid Today's world has much print, but a page will not refuse ink, as my dad used to say I tend to write Comedy as I'd rather make you laugh than cry I must have written over 2000 short pieces of writing, yes 2000 If you include "chats" 2600 samples, no not smelling like urine, writing samples the chats don't go into my books when I compile them My first book ,a full length comedy/drama is The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker You can read translations of it here on this site Up to 10 different languages/translations have been read on the same day via this site, here on Wordpress so you have no excuse, find your own language and read The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker This proves to me that the humour does travel I have readers in over 80 countries now From Nepal to American Samoa and all places North South East and West Or its just a hit man on the run, or bored Navy Seals or whatever Unknown Region Means It may also mean that only non English Speakers like my stuff I did get 21,000 readers in 3 weeks for the Polish version of In Search of an Indian Princess which is basically the final 3 chapters of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker all by word of mouth. I also had a low budget film producer take a look at it Book Publishers have said I've made the commissioning editor laugh Radio People say they like my style So close but no cigar is the story of my life, so all you power people, do something useful HELP ME REACH FOR THE SKY from my position in the gutter looking at the stars As for my life, I was a computer operator for a market research company into alcohol sales I also was a concierge and 10 other roles at Crowne Plaza NEC Birmingham I even hid a copy of my comic novel "BBU" in the Law Library at Pinsent Masons, well just for a day and I was an Esol English teacher in an Islamic school, I knew I could teach beside I've had a Shanghai connection for 20 years now, including 2 bilingual daughters and being a haus frau a long time too, I'm a great dad as I've had more hands on practice. I can always make somebody talk or laugh, I am an 18 stone George Clooney look alike Laugh or Die so to speak I believe my short stories could be used to teach English, just package them up correctly or App them What else, I was brawn and brains, I used to be as strong as an Ox, now I just smell like one We have a cat called Totoro, my daughters wanted a pet I said they could have a dog if I died , or a cat if I had a heart attack. A few weeks after that in Jan 2015 I had an Unplanned Quadruple Heart Bypass , it was supposed to be a triple but it ended up a Quadruple, 33% extra free so to speak. With an add on Hernia pushing through my bypass scar, it hurts when I laugh, so don't make me laugh I also have arthritis and other hindrances that hobble my body and give me pain galore. But my mind is free, though having read my stories you may wish I didn't bother But I'll ignore you, and carry on regardless. I do get heckled by my own Tinnitus these past 18 months, so I have music on all night long to drown it out. I sleep with Miley, Taylor, Eric Clapton and Will Young, maybe I should buy a bigger bed, or just get a better mattress. That's the end of the tidy version of my life, if you want more come and buy me a Stella Artois and all will be revealed. Though 12 pints a year is my ration. To finish here's the list of my 19 books, so far:- 1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker 2.Shoplife 3.Essays and Plays 4.Blogs 2011 5.300 and Not OUT 6.Shorts 2013 7.More Shorts 2014 8.Quick Stories 9.Still Alive 2015 10.Undiscovered Words 2016 11.Still Smiling 2017 12.Altogether Now 13.New Horizons 14.14 Up 15.15 Down 16.Sweet Sixteen 17. 17 Again 18. 18 New Views 19. The Final Cut of the 19th Hole https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC to buy ebooks ok, that's your lot, this reads serious, but generally I refuse to be serious, though I do heckle the news for 50 years now TTFN Michael Casey p.s. my email is michaelgcasey@hotmail.com ONLY write in ENGLISH with a decent subject line View all posts by michaelgcasey

Saint George's Day 2020 and Shakespeare's Birthday too

Saint George’s Day 2020 and Shakespeare’s Birthday too ©

By

 Michael Casey

Well it’s Saint George’s Day today, not that it is really celebrated here in England, Saint Patrick gets more noise, here in Birmingham there is even an old joke, how do you recognise a Brummie, by the Shamrock in his turban. So why do we celebrate our National Day? Well Saint Patrick’s Day reminds us of our heritage wherever we are in the world. In Chicago they even dye the river, and New York has parades, so it’s an intoxicating celebration and yes a lot of beer is drunk too. I remember once I went to a bar on paddy’s day, it was like being part of a jelly or football crowd, everybody swaying together and fixed moulded to each other’s body.

So that’s one example where happiness and joy is everywhere, the world over in fact. However national days are exploited by the Powers, and then tyranny takes over. Look back at History, remember Hitler and his parades, look at all the parades back in the USSR, look at North Korea. You can think about other examples for yourselves. So when somebody somewhere says lets have a parade then be very very suspicious, even if it’s an Ariel show which is stated to mean one thing when in fact it has another purpose. Self promotion and product placement happens, especially in an Election year. But you cannot condemn an act of Patriotism can you? You’d be called a Commie bastard. Dictators always wrap themselves in the Flag, then slowly or quickly the Flag is them, and nobody is allowed to speak out for fear of upsetting or is it informing the unwashed masses.

Each night we have unfettered blatant lies and electioneering, attempts to make puppets out of Science. We have somebody surfing the waves of Populism, flip flopping ad nasuseim turning every which way. As the unemployment lines lengthen, as you literally cannot give oil away, you have somebody saying BREAKOUT. When they should stay in, be patience. Yes, USA is the Land of the Free, but it could turn into the land of the Dead Stupid. Because Covid19 will kill you, because of an obsession  to be “free”, it’s like a child wanting Christmas to come at Easter.

So some of my USA readers might hate me now, but hopefully I have readers who both like Humour and do have a Brain as well. So use your brain, your skills, your enormous love of family faith and country and THINK. Can I wait just a bit longer, do I really need to hug everybody, or can I say Hi from the length of 2 assault riffles away? The Economy is the People, as a female economist stated on tv the other night here in UK. And she is right, and yes you should listen to a woman too, any women. The Economy is the People, because if folks die there are less sales, and less money to circulate. Yes, folks will get back to spending, and as somebody said why are coins round? So they can circulate.

Let science talk, and not politicians abuse news briefings for petty political motives, politicians come and go, and are changed like dirty pants, every four years. Listen to the Science, we all are missing what we love, even prostitutes, let Science be our guide, not misguided politicians  who  may have used….

Going around in circles or loading software for beginners

Going around in circles or loading software for beginners ©

By

Michael Casey

Well it’s taken a week but I’m finally there, or I think I am. I now have Word 2019, I got a download and away I went. Or rather I discovered I was duped, my download “worked” only it then displayed “this product will be unlicensed in 20something days” So I was really annoyed. So I emailed the folks  I bought it off, and their advert did say it was genuine Microsoft Word. What they forgot to say was that it would DIE, because the KEY had been used too often already.

Years ago I bought on CD Microsoft Office 2010 and I loved that to bits, but as there were problems with Windows 10 over the years I had to load or rather reload it several times. Until finally it died, too many loads. So, I emigrated to free Wordish programs. However, as I was so annoyed that my brand spanking new Word 2019 would not work for me I decided to dig out my discs of Word 2010 and try a load of that, as I prayed to Bill Gates. And yes, you’ve guessed it, IT ACTUALLY WORKED.

So, I was in Word Heaven again. I did annoy the company who sold it to me, and allegedly I could ring a friend and it would work. The friend being a Microsoft phone number. But I thought that could be a trick, so I did not bother. I have been saved and my Word 2010 would be good enough for me. With this Covid pain in the pants thing I thought I deserved a nice Word Processor, so at least I’d be having fun as I wrote the stuff, even if you my readers think this writing is PANTS, you can be so cruel sometimes, you my bemused bewildered and bothered readers in 80 countries, and languages galore, and if you find the translate button you’ll drown in a Tsunami of my words, all 1,600,000 or so of them.

But it’s nice having nice tools, or should I rephrase that. A butcher has his favourite cleaver, a cleaner her favourite feather duster, a teacher her favourite red pencil, a policeman his favourite handcuffs for work and for pleasure, and a stripper her favourite thong that fits just right so she can shake her bootie. Myself I don’t use a thong as I am so hairy, but otherwise, anyway, every pro, every professional likes the tools of the trade. So, me or I, me anyways I just love a good font to write with, and to sprinkle holy water from.

So last night I decided I’d never get my few quid back from the 1^st company, even though I tried to bribe them with a copy of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker, in Chinese, as I tried to guess where they were from judging by the less than perfect English in their email. So, a final roll of the dice I sent them a copy in Urdu, plus a photo of myself with a banana on my head. If they cannot read English maybe a silly photo might work, as a picture is worth more than 1000 words. That night I had a junk email in Korean from a fake name, that referenced a female Bosnian tank commander, with short hair. Was that my seller of Word 2019 software with an overused KEY? I don’t know but everything is material I can put into a story. And no, I never use substances, my writing is substantial enough on its own.

So last night I chose between a London company and another which said it was a Microsoft Partner. London won, and I followed their link which led me directly to Microsoft and I got a fully spanking new copy of Word 2019, I knew it was spanking new, as Donald Trump’s Guide to Spanking was a free giveaway with it. Or am I making that up to fill a sentence and increase my word count, some writers do get paid, and paid by quantity of words. Though even with this London copy once you load it down via Microsoft you have go here and there and login and do this and do that, no need of Trump’s Guide to Spanking, just a guide to where to click and so on. 

So, finally at about 10pm I was all Worded up, and I wrote the first sentence of this piece. And you wish I did not bother, I can read you all like a book, you can read all 19 of my books as a punishment. Never interfere with a Writer, not unless he encourages you, after a good dinner and wine with music and the rest. But that was obvious, but you still smiled, if you didn’t you are reading the wrong Michael Casey, try the Monk instead.

I did try complaining about the original company, but to no avail, maybe an  anvil would have been of more use to hammer home my case on, as you know my dad was a blacksmith after all. But today I had another idea, I’d message Microsoft, so if anybody at Microsoft got my email maybe just maybe they’ll slap the bum of the naughty company, they can wear gloves, or follow the instructions in Trump’s Spanking Guide.

So, I’ve about finished my first story on Microsoft Office 2019, if you are a shareholder maybe you’ll dash of a message to them, NEVER NEVER NEVER let that Fat Silver Haired Writer in Shades from Birmingham EVER get his hands on Word. He’ll ruin the business, what kind of people does he think we are, when Lockdown is over we’ll throw flour at his door. To which I reply the Whole World can visit, but make Cookies, don’t waste flour on my door.

Chile here, and 7 languages over on Wordpress

Chile here and 7 languages read on same day over on Wordpress

Well we are having a lazy day here in the sunshine

Spotted Chile reading my rubbish so thank you whoever you are

To remind you all

https://butcherbakerundertaker.blogspot.com/ 

  is my main site with 2727 pieces of writing on, maybe 2000+ are stories which I collate into my books and rest chats like this, but you'll have to go take a look for yourselves

then there is my Cartoons Made from Words site which has 2000 or so pieces of
writing on.

This site Michael Casey from  Birmingham  has 1000+ pieces of writing

then all the ready made Translations are on

https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/

my Wordpress also has DOC files of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

in many languages, just so you an all suffer in equal measure.

It's a 600 page Comedy Drama that a film producer took a look at

and it had 21,000 Polish readers in 3 weeks just by word of mouth

I also stumbled over some thieves who downloaded 13,000 copies in English

via their thief site. The Foreign Language files are there to spread the word

But ultimately you can PAY this worker by  going to Amazon

for my Original English, in all senses of the word.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

for context that amount of reads is DOUBLE what Boris Johnson got

for his book on Churchill, and if you add on the Foreign Language downloads

could be up to FIVE or SIX times more Readers.

Though I doubt if I'll ever get any recognition in my Lifetime

Not unless Trump reads my book  aloud every day instead of ranting and raving

for 2 hours at his Covid 19 press briefing.

There are many things I could say

There are many things I could say © 

By 

Michael Casey 

Yes, there are many things I could say, but sometimes some things are best left unsaid, and you don’t need say some things because they don’t need saying. Simple really. We never said I love you and all that when we grew up, or even today 50 years on. It seems in today’s Selfie taking world, too much has been said, but what is actually said is meaningless. Just like the old song The Songs you sing are meaningless by Lindisfarne, if you have even heard of it then I’ll be amazed. 

Over assertive, over blown words and actions, without any depth are all too common, as I observe from my position sat on the fence like a sparrow waiting for the cat to go away before stealing the dog’s dinner. A grannie giving you a sweet or a squeeze has far more worth, than Reality TV Life. So now some say Covid19 will change people forever. Just as Live Aid was a cry from the heart, but did the buzz last forever then? Did the 2012 Olympic buzz last forever? 

Some people have Charity and Love in their hearts already, some communities have a vibe and feeling or MoJo as Cuomo calls it. This is great, but if you are Christian you may remember the Parable of the Sower, about how it is the depth of love that makes the difference. And quick is not always lasting, just as they say Marry in haste Regret at Leisure. 

So as Covid19 changes all of us, some for the better, some for the worse, do think ahead, what do you like about yourself, have you changed, or will you go back to your old life, will you be a better man, or will you go back to beating the wife. And will you criticize my words without thinking about the meaning and metaphors behind them. Because it’s too easy to be lazy, and thinking is for losers as you go back to your Selfie life. 

I could say much much more, but in the end you have to decide for yourself, but Wisdom is a hard fought teacher, often gained in Battle, but best of all learnt while sat on your mother’s knee. So, I say thank you mum and Cromane Lower Kerry for pouring everything into me. 

Shaved Bathed and with a haircut my 007 look

don't vomit over the screen when see these snaps

I'll write more in morning if my new Word works 

Like a Sheep my hair was cut by my big daughter today NEXT I'll shave

at least by the time the lockdown is over my hair will have recovered