Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Social Media Will Win This Election Tonight, Alright?

Social Media Will Win This Election Tonight, Alright?
By Michael Casey

Ok, so here is the plan, we are gonna party tonight, better than 1999, ok, alright we gonna change the Election result tonight.
My friend, you know who, but you know who I mean don’t you? 

Anyway he said he didn’t believe in anything but in fact he does, he believes in money, MUNY as John Wayne used to say. So here’s what’s moving on up and getting on down. WE are going to have synchronised parties everywhere, all over the country, 23 of them, or is it more I don’t know the paper got stuck in the fax machine.

So while we have everybody partying away they will forget their own name in a drunken orgy of political tea parties, and I don’t mean those Americans either. We have the Mother’s Union make all the sandwiches, and Mary watsit off the telly has baked cakes, we told her it was for Charity, she was so accommodating, she even wanted to come. But I stopped her, it’d blow her brains off the kind of party we are having, I’ve injected some plant food I bought off the internet into all the cakes.

Lord Dodah from the house of Lords had donated 100 crates of 80 year old malt whisky , he has a friend in Old Forge and Singing Anvil who has a pub, don’t ask me where he got the whisky from but its good stuff. We’ve got the Sibling Brothers to do the music, don’t ask me what kind, they’ll just send a link and we rig it up to the music system, with a usb stick as backup.

So while we have these rave parties all over the country in swing seats the punters will be totally but totally off their heads. The parties will be all night sittings just like in the Houses of Parliament. They won’t have the energy to get to the Polls to vote.

So our party will win, 23 seats, that’s all they need to be a government. Or was it 88 seats, the paper got stick in the fax machine. What? Which party is our party?  Whoever pays the most, LabToryLibKip, I haven’t got a *&^% clue, I’ve been trying Mary Watsit’s cake, God she’s such a baker. Oh yea, I did inject a bit of plant food into it.

Now all we have to do is post the message on social media and then everything is ready. What time does the Library shut? We have to hurry or all  plans will come to nought.


The Library closes early on Wednesday, so we cannot rig the result of the Election. Can’t even catch the bus to Birmingham and the brand new library, the biggest in Europe, that’s closed as the council cannot afford to keep it open. Let’s go to the chip shop instead. 


Friday, 1 May 2015

May is full of memories

May is a month full of memories. ©
By Michael Casey
 Tomorrow my wife is 33, so its happy birthday to her.Next Friday, one week after her Birthday its the 10th anniversary since my mum died 2 months after that, my dad died, my brother did CPR and saved him long enough for the doctor to come injection straight to the heart.  Dad had died , but was revived. He was given a week to live. I sat in my sister’s house a few hundred yards from mine and we picked hymns for dad's funeral.
 But he came back, read Padre Pio and Me for details www.michaelgcasey.wordpress.com  
Later in May just 2 years ago my wife's dad was killed in an accident in Shanghai. I rushed home from the hotel, my eyes full of tears. Only he agreed with me and said I'd been right to send JJ back to China with the message to tell her parents all my bad points. Now still young he was dead. He died a few days before his granddaughter's 3rd birthday, his 2nd granddaughter was still only 7 months old.
 Two deaths and 2 Birthdays that’s what May brings. Every May brings the promise of Spring and Happiness that Birthdays bring. But it is balanced by 2 deaths. Death of a mum for me, and death of a dad for my wife.
 Eternal balance and equilibrium. I remember my mum standing by the fridge in her blue and white smock, that was the last time I saw her, apart from in her coffin when I kissed her ice cold cheek. So much warmth now it was all gone. My sister went back to her house one day a few weeks after the funeral. There were flowers growing everywhere, white daisies growing everywhere. Our mum had sneaked up to my sister’s house on the 82 bus, then she'd planted seeds. Their scent was her memorial.
 Always loving her children, her 6 children, now the flowers were her smile goodbye.
I had put my wife on the first flight to Shanghai, I rung the hotel and said I'd be back in 2 weeks, I was left holding the babies, while my wife dashed off. Her dad was not quite dead when she arrived in Shanghai, he was on support and still warm, JJ had time to kiss him goodbye. Then she had to arrange the funeral.
Now I wear my Chinese dad's best watch on my wrist, I have always loved watches, now I have a good one , all because somebody had died. May is a time of celebration in China and the East, the Spring Festival and so forth. For me May reminds me of my blessings, a mom who gave me such a deep Faith, as deep as I need it, and we all know that can be very deep indeed especially in time of need.
 My dad survived because of a miracle and I am not abusing the word. My prayers were heard and now I have 2 daughters too when then I had no clue what the future would do. May moves me and I hope it moves you all, none of us can predict the future, no matter how hard we try but I know my ma and pa are looking down from up there in the sky.
****I wrote this a few years ago

Sunday, 26 April 2015

Explaining Politics to Children

Explaining Politics To Children ©

By Michael Casey

Imagine you have to explain Politics to kids, what would you say and how would you do it? All Politicians are Liars and Bastards could be a good opening to begin with and grab their attention. Politics is all about Public Service, could be another line, just make sure you don’t say pubic service by mistake or you’ve lost your audience forever.

So what exactly is Politics, “the art of the possible” is one famous quote, you get a stale 2 week old Easter egg if you know who said that, no cheating on Google. Will kids in today’s world believe you if you said the Liberals were once a major force in politics and Labour is a new party, relatively speaking. Would kids have heard of the Whigs, and where exactly did the Tories come from as a name for the Conservatives, “nobody knows  Sir, they are just bastards” may be one interjection from Clegg at the back.

So you start by explaining what Democracy is, the kids say that this lesson is so boring and vote that they go and play football outside instead. So then you have to explain that teachers are dictators, so can they all sit down again and put the ball down. Such is modern day teaching, having taught myself this writer can vouch that it is even worse than that.

So you start the simple way, you’ll explain each party in turn. So you start with the Labour Party, so some wag at the back says it’s a party for pregnant women. So you reply that it’s an ever growing party as their numbers grow every 9 months. Then you talk about unions etc, the kids think this is so boring, until another wag says the students union is the best one, as the beer is so cheap, and he cannot wait to be a student. Was Tony Blair’s policy all about getting millions to drink cheap beer? I suppose in the end you do get a degree as well, I’m told 41% gets you an engineering degree, but the maths is so hard, could Prince Harry have passed engineering maths?

You try explaining Liberals next. The class is ahead of you and say they are all wear anoraks and smoke skunk, that’s why they wear sandals as laces would just be too much on shoes, besides laces become snakes if you take too many legal highs. As for yellow being their colour, it’s because they eat too many curries, but Birmingham is the best place in the world for curries, did Sir know that? Liberals like jointing things, such as Cameron’s government,  in fact they’ll join anything,  it’s the only way they can make friends.

Moving on to the Conservative, the clue is in the name, conserve, keep steady and not change too much. Aren’t they just rich bastards Sir? So you have to explain they have their own businesses and work hard, that’s why they move to nice areas. So they don’t have to mix with the likes of Smith and Jones, Sir, comes from the back. So you ask a rhetorical question, imagine you win the lottery, where would you go and live? I’d live in a nice house with those rich bastards the Conservatives, Sir.

UKIP, is next on your list, does anybody know what UKIP stands for? They don’t even know themselves , Sir, comes from the back. So you explain, United Kingdom Independence Party. And no they are not a Real Ale appreciation party. They are more than that, though judging by the leader, there is a large element of truth in that statement.

Scottish Nationalists, what exactly are they? Well they are Scottish and they are in fact a Separatist Party. They hate the English or so it feels, they are very clever because the educational standards are higher in Scotland. If only I could teach in Scotland bemoans the teacher as he kicks the football and it hits Clegg on the back of his head, but at least it makes Clegg pay attention.

All of the parties do have one thing in common, they love the sound of their own voice, they love being interviewed and getting a few quid every time they are on telly. The food and drink in the Houses of Parliament are great and cheap, that’s why a lot of M.P.s become alcoholics or just fat, that’s why they lean back and sleep in the chamber. The story of microphones bedded in the furniture is just a myth they are just a bunch of old sot


Now students I do hope I’ve explained the political system to you, we do have such a bunch of wonderful people ruling us. You can watch The Ruling Class the 1972 film with Peter O’Toole as homework. Don’t forget as you can now vote at 16, thanks to Prime Minister Miliband, don’t forget to go out and vote on Thursday. Now let’s go outside and play football.  Sir’s been smoking skunk again laugh the kids, Sir must be a Liberal.

This is me, this is what I look like



This is me, this is what I look like. 26th April  2015
Please buy a few books, I have 8 on Amazon
 Its 3 months since my unplanned Triple Heart Bypass Operation now

This is Totoro our new cat due to arrive on 7th May


This is me, this is what I look like. 6th April  2015

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Why do we do it?

Why do we do it?

By Michael Casey

I was just watching Elementary on tv, it’s one of the shows I watch, Suits, Blacklist, Grimm, Dr Who are the others we watch in our house, not forgetting my daily fix of News. So why am I talking about Elementary? There was a line spoken tonight that got me thinking.

To be honest Sherlock explained why he did not want to be a dad, why he did not want to continue his line. In the episode a sex partner had been asked by his dad to breed, so that Sherlock’s dad could be a grandfather. The girl stated that Sherlock was remarkable and his talents should be passed on to the next generation.

However what Sherlock said in reply was revealing about Sherlock’s state of mind. Sherlock said he was an investigator not because he was noble , quiet the reverse, he was an investigator because he had to be. If you  like investigating was his therapy, otherwise his skills, his abilities would overwhelm him. He was good not for goodness sake, but for the sake of his sanity.

I mentioned this to my big daughter and she said it was very philosophical, it is a very thought provoking concept. I was once told by the niece of a famous Irish writer John B Keane from Listowel that he wrote because it was in him. This was in his bar maybe 20 years ago, I then thought that was a simplistic answer.

Now I know better, my own parents are Kerry people too, so it may be in the water, or in the breast milk that has turned me into a writer as well. We do things because we have to, it’s in our nature, it’s in the breed which is what my dad used to say to explain why certain things happen. The gene pool bubbles away, just as the soup my Shanghai wife brews in her pots for days, then finally something emerges, even if it’s not the Loch Ness monster, though Google may know more about that than any of us.

So something within has to come out, it’s a primeval thing, just like the urge to breed, though Sherlock did not want that responsibility, in fact he had a negative self-image. This was sad in fiction like tonight’s Elementary, and in real life it’s tragic too. We have to accept ourselves, warts and all. None of us is perfect, but life is all about honing our skills and making ourselves a better person than when we arrive on this earth.

Today on the news we had a tragic case of a girl dying because of poison pills she bought on the Internet, diet pills which killed her. These and legal highs are in fact illegal lows which kill, which destroy families and leave pain and sorrow behind. Perhaps this should be an Election issue. This girl had something in common with Sherlock, her self-image caused her pain which led in the end to death.

Sherlock has all these skills, and he uses them to help the NYPD,  it’s a symbiotic relationship, he is the little bird pecking away at the rhino’s bum, it gives him a purpose and keeps insanity at bay. But what of you and me? Why do we do it? What makes us help out at the charity shop, what makes us play golf in the rain. Why do we teach English to refugees. Why do we vote SNP or even Tory?

Pleasure is the answer to all these questions, it’s not as pleasurable as sex or alcohol or rock and roll, but it gives us pleasure. What gives us pleasure? The thing that makes us feel fully alive, the thing that makes us feel wanted, the thing that makes us feel wanted. Why do we visit the sick in hospital, why do we go to our church and clean it on Tuesdays. Why do we raise money for charity by doing sponsored events.  There are many many more examples, you can pick your own.
We get a kick out of doing good, whatever our small talent may be, it’s when we use that talent that we feel fully alive. Look at me I’ve been writing since 1987, I’ll never be famous or make any money from it, but I’ll still bore you all with my stories.

Other people have other skills, such as the leader of the choir who spends a lifetime teaching music.  Betty Williams is one such person who can be found at Saint Hilda’s, then there are the lolly pop ladies/men who shiver in the cold keeping our kids safe. There are many more examples I could give but you can pick your own from your own communities.

So why do they do it? I suppose in the end its Love. Love of whatever their skill is, and love of their community. It’s not any Big Society, or any fancy political words from the Left or Right. I thing people do it because it’s in them, it’s in the breed. We are all individuals, we are all pieces of a jigsaw. What we do holds this jigsaw together, and without all the pieces the picture is not complete.


We have to play our part, otherwise we are just a jumble of shapes on the floor, without meaning, without hope. But when all the pieces are place together and locked in place, then we have made love, and we are complete, one connected with another.


Tuesday, 21 April 2015

This Love is for Eternity

This Love is for Eternity ©
By Michael Casey

This Love is for Eternity
This Kiss is from my Heart
This Touch is full of Warmth
This Sigh shakes more than an Earthquake
This Whisper crashes Louder than the Sea on the Shore
This Caress is Deeper than Thunder
This Look is Brighter than Lightning
This Desire is greater than the Grand Canyon
This Song sings louder than birdsong
This Hope reaches beyond the Stars
This Love is mine freely given to the one I love
This Love is yours freely returned like the Tide itself
This is us, not one but two, but one again
This is all I can offer, this is my Prayer
This Love is all I have, my heart is Empty now
As I look to the Stars I hope my prayers have been enough
For this Love is Eternal

For it is my very Soul


Portuguese Translations

Humour Writing by the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England read in 167 countries so far https://www.amazon.co.uk/Micha...