Social Media Will Win This Election Tonight, Alright?

Social Media Will Win This Election Tonight, Alright?

By Michael Casey

Ok, so here is the plan, we are gonna party tonight, better than 1999, ok, alright we gonna change the Election result tonight.

My friend, you know who, but you know who I mean don’t you? 

Anyway he said he didn’t believe in anything but in fact he does, he believes in money, MUNY as John Wayne used to say. So here’s what’s moving on up and getting on down. WE are going to have synchronised parties everywhere, all over the country, 23 of them, or is it more I don’t know the paper got stuck in the fax machine.

So while we have everybody partying away they will forget their own name in a drunken orgy of political tea parties, and I don’t mean those Americans either. We have the Mother’s Union make all the sandwiches, and Mary watsit off the telly has baked cakes, we told her it was for Charity, she was so accommodating, she even wanted to come. But I stopped her, it’d blow her brains off the kind of party we are having, I’ve injected some plant food I bought off the internet into all the cakes.

Lord Dodah from the house of Lords had donated 100 crates of 80 year old malt whisky , he has a friend in Old Forge and Singing Anvil who has a pub, don’t ask me where he got the whisky from but its good stuff. We’ve got the Sibling Brothers to do the music, don’t ask me what kind, they’ll just send a link and we rig it up to the music system, with a usb stick as backup.

So while we have these rave parties all over the country in swing seats the punters will be totally but totally off their heads. The parties will be all night sittings just like in the Houses of Parliament. They won’t have the energy to get to the Polls to vote.

So our party will win, 23 seats, that’s all they need to be a government. Or was it 88 seats, the paper got stick in the fax machine. What? Which party is our party?  Whoever pays the most, LabToryLibKip, I haven’t got a *&^% clue, I’ve been trying Mary Watsit’s cake, God she’s such a baker. Oh yea, I did inject a bit of plant food into it.

Now all we have to do is post the message on social media and then everything is ready. What time does the Library shut? We have to hurry or all  plans will come to nought.

The Library closes early on Wednesday, so we cannot rig the result of the Election. Can’t even catch the bus to Birmingham and the brand new library, the biggest in Europe, that’s closed as the council cannot afford to keep it open. Let’s go to the chip shop instead.