here's the new story I had in my head
Curse and Give (c)
By
Michael Casey
Fr. Michael needed a new roof for his church and his friend in Africa wanted to build a clinic
he had told his friend Fr. Thomas he'd do his best.
He went outside and could see the big glass offices of all the tech companies
They looked like those fair ground machines where you paid a dollar and tried to hook a prize
Or those popcorn machines
If only he get people to pay a dollar and donate
As he though what could he do, a dumpster pasted by
It stopped suddenly and a glass box fell off
He rescued it from the street with the help of James an 85 year old former Teamster
James might be old but he could break your arm, he never married so had time
for sports and martial arts was his thing
an 85 year minder for Fr. Michael
Fr. Michael wrote a sign SWEAR BOX
just outside the church door
so people went inside and swore
with a bucket for donations
AFter they swore in the swear box
A very expensive car passed by and stopped
The man got out and went into the swear box
and really really really let rip
he dropped 1000 dollars into the bucket
Fr. Michael drenched him in holy water
the man stopped then laughed
and dropped 5000 dollars into a bucket
My dear mother would have done the same
The man was a very big techie, he looked like Prince hat and walk combined
I've got an idea he said.
Fr. Michael asked what is it?
Let me take this to my office and raise money for your church
Fr. Michael never looked a gift horse in the mouth, his dad was a blacksmith after all
So hours later, Dwane sent a truck and it was taken away
Dwane gave Fr. Michael and James an invite to the office
the swear box was installed and soundproofed a bit more
so you went in, cursed to your heart's content and and dropped money in a bucket
Fr. Michael sat on a chair nearby and offered confession to anybody in need
James stood guard over the money
But there are always bastards and a bucket of cash was tempting
so two likely lads tried taking the cash
only James may be 85 but he was a ninja
he floored both of them and nearly broke the arm of one of them
before building security came and took them away
the entire typing pool came down to mother James
It was on auto repeat on the company security monitors
Dwane decided coloured paper might be safer and people could
pay via phone to an account he set up in 5 mins
Curse and Give funding page
so the bucket was full of coloured paper
which represented different denominations of bank notes
This went on all day and Fr, Michael heard confessions
He could write a best selling book if he was a writer
but the seal was on
A Michelin star chef provided the dinner for Fr.Michael and James
Techies enjoy the good things in life
Later in the Afternoon, Mark Zuckerberg appeared
Dwane asked had he donated to the Curse and Give
each colour representing a different denomination of note
have you got any gold paper he asked
then zuckerberg went inside the booth
he did not come out for 15 mins, it was sound proofed
his face got redder and redder
he came out and looked at Fr. Michael and James
I hear you do a bit of the old martial arts smiled James
before grabbing Zuckerberg and throwing him on to the JD Vance
or sofa as they are called in USA
Zuckerberg was shocked, somebody as old as his own grandad had thrown him
He started to laugh
Then he went back into the Curse box and laughed and laughed
He came out crying, how much do I have to donate
As much as you can afford then a bit extra
its of the church roof and my friend Fr. Thomas has a clinic in Africa
Have they got any gold paper?
So Zuckerberg stuffed gold paper in the bucket
How much did he give?
Well he had been cursing the IRS, the tax man in the curse box
So his logic was He'd rather give it away than the vultures from the IRS
got his money
And that's how Fr. Michael got his roof fixed
Zuckerberg bought the roofing company to, so he got his money back
But if you fix one church's roof you are on the hook for all the priests
Its a vulture of priests the collective now
Old James got a job as. a personal trainer to Zuckerberg
And what about the clinic in Africa
well Zuckerberg had a few friends over there too
so a camel train came out of the East and brought a lego build clinic
Just slot the pieces together , like Michael Casey's stories
and just in time for Christmas gold stars were all over the roof
so curse and give really worked
And Elon was persuaded to install internet and a solar powered fridge
for medicines
Because if you light a candle prayers really do work
Not much cursing required.
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